"Mainstream" Fetishes

November 18, 2004 12:04 PM

What constitutes "mainstream" with regards to fetishes? [MI]

I'm writing something in which a character has a fetish which affects his relationships with the people he dates. I know that all fetishes do that to an extent, but I'm looking for something not-too-common, something that a regular person wouldn't think, "hey, that sounds fun," with no thought about it.

So, like, a guy who enjoys ladies' underwear? Probably pretty common, probably easy enough to go with. Puppy fisting? Perhaps a little too extreme.

My experiences with sex and porn and such skew toward "not normal," so I don't really have a good grasp on what normal people think is "not normal."

So, umm, what's just weird enough to be considered "not normal?"

posted by billybunny to human relations (39 answers total)

Wheelchairs dude.
posted by arnold at 12:08 PM on November 18, 2004

Scat.
posted by esch at 12:08 PM on November 18, 2004

Puppy fisting is a horrible thing to write! It's also not a fetish. A fetish is where you give a sexualized meaning to something, often an object but also a behavior, that normally wouldn't have a sexual definition. They are the more interesting the odder and less sexual or predictable an object you pick.

(on preview, yes, wheelchairs!)
posted by Peter H at 12:10 PM on November 18, 2004

Masks, or pegging-- are you looking for something just slightly weirder than crossdressing? If you're looking for truly bizarre, start going through old Savage Love columns for the ones that surprise even Dan Savage.
posted by stray at 12:12 PM on November 18, 2004

I think you should think showers. Either of the Roman or the Golden variety.

I think they're far enough for mainstream without causing everyone to run and scream in absolute disgust... or not.. I'm not sure.
posted by BlzOfGlry at 12:19 PM on November 18, 2004

I've heard of people who have fetishes for vomit and I've heard of people with fetishes for the inflated balloon makes when you rub it on your head.
posted by dobbs at 12:21 PM on November 18, 2004

girls with balloons
girls with glasses
girls who're sneezing (about to sneeze)
petgirls
giant girls
muscle girls
posted by lotsofno at 12:24 PM on November 18, 2004

I would say the most hilarious and upsetting fetish I've found on the Internet is for sex with geese. Just absolutely upsetting.
posted by inksyndicate at 12:25 PM on November 18, 2004

Fursuiters (and generally speaking, furries) totally freak my stuff out, and I'm pretty damn deviant.

Yeah, you. Over there. Put that simulated dolphin wang away before I burn it, you amoral pancakehumper.
posted by loquacious at 12:27 PM on November 18, 2004

Chicks wearing headphones is a fetish that I find curious but harmless. The conjoined-twin fetish is...more alarming.
posted by adamrice at 12:27 PM on November 18, 2004

I think any given fetish is weird enough to throw most people off-balance. That's why it's called a "fetish," and not "normal." A sexual attraction to women's breasts is normal; a sexual attraction to women's shoes is a fetish.

(I'm not saying the lines are fair; I'm just saying.)
posted by mechagrue at 12:34 PM on November 18, 2004

I think what "most" people consider "normal" would be something like light S&M and maybe vibrators. Everyone probably likes being spanked.

Pretty much everything beyond that would probably seem weird to most mainstream folks. Stuff like people that cut themselves and like to bleed, people that dress up as clowns and then have sex, even people that have swinger parties are kinda oddball.
posted by mathowie at 12:34 PM on November 18, 2004

Homosexuality?
posted by orange clock at 12:36 PM on November 18, 2004

People who want to have sex with cars, no foolin.
posted by Divine_Wino at 12:40 PM on November 18, 2004

Also, amputees, the mentally disabled, various food fetishes, cosmetic surgery, and girls who like really sweaty guys.
posted by arnold at 12:40 PM on November 18, 2004

I'd agree with pegging (female on male strap on) as a good option for you. From what I remember being told (really I didn't see the issue...) it showed up in an issue of Hustler - one issue. Why this is important? Well it's mainstream enough to show up once in Hustler, and thus a turning point for the acceptance of the fetish, and two, from what I know, it only showed up once which means it wasn't all that of a turning point towards acceptance.

pwb.
posted by pwb503 at 12:49 PM on November 18, 2004

crushing sounds interesting, for a book
posted by matteo at 12:54 PM on November 18, 2004

hmm... my 'out there' dial might be set a bit higher than some people's (when i saw pegging mentioned in the thread, i had to remind myself most male/female couples wouldn't have tried that), so mileage variance may occur and so on. but that said, i'd put the following around the kind of level you're looking for:

medical fetishes (beyond just dressing up as nurses etc - we're talking strapping down, purchase and use of implements, enemas, skinbreaking, serious roleplay and so on)

crush (the foot-on-animals/objects kind might be a bit arkward to incorporate into a narrative, but facecrushing/trampling could work)

humiliation (public humiliation fetishes, in my experience, tend to link into crossdressing (particularly of the sissy-slut variety), ageplay/regression, and pretty serious roleplay. maybe a little too unusual, though...)

encasement (rubber-doll, mannequin or as a part of other BDSM activities, or even with appliances attached if you're looking to cast the net a bit further)

giant/giantess/size enlargement's interesting, too, although if you're not planning on a very tall character, i guess it'd end up staying fairly private for the fetishist, so it's probably not what you're after.
posted by terpsichoria at 1:29 PM on November 18, 2004

Toothbrush(ing) fetish. I can't link out to anytyhing germane since I'm at work, but it's there. Google knows.
posted by zpousman at 1:59 PM on November 18, 2004

I would be sufficiently weirded-out, but not disgusted, if a partner suggested pony-play.
posted by bonheur at 2:05 PM on November 18, 2004

If you don't recognize something on this diagram it's probably a good candidate.
posted by catachresoid at 2:11 PM on November 18, 2004

Watersports really is the new mainstream fetish. It was even featured in Penthouse for a few years. It's not as extreme as many others, but is still 'un-normal' enough to get some people riled up.
posted by eas98 at 2:17 PM on November 18, 2004

Damn, catachresoid's diagram makes me feel so..... vanilla.
posted by spilon at 3:37 PM on November 18, 2004

While we're all here, can someone tell me what the acronym GGG stands for? It's some sort of fetish that turned up in Savage's colum a couple of times over the past month and it's completely perplexed me. It seems to have something to do with guys who are into having their girlfriends work them over with a strap ons, but I've also seen it in reference to harder stuff, like electrostim and serious bondage.

So, can anyone corrupt me a little and provide a definition?
posted by mmcg at 4:03 PM on November 18, 2004

GGG stands for "good, giving, and game," which, according to Mr. Savage describes the non-fetishy partner who is willing to explore the other's interests.

On second thought, I'm not 100% sure about "good," but it's something along those lines.

(always willing to corrupt)
posted by ruby.aftermath at 4:25 PM on November 18, 2004

mmcg: GGG doesn't stand for a fetish, but an attitude: Good, Giving, and Game. As in willing to experiment, or even willing to perform certain acts for the sake of your partner, even if they don't really do much for you. This doesn't include acts that genuinely disturb your comfort level or boundaries, but does mean being willing to try something that you might not have considered before.

Dan Savage as far as I'm concerned only gets it right about half the time, so I'm not really a fan, but in the context of his column that's what the acronym means.

Also, that link above to the zoophilic goose sex left me seriously disturbed.
posted by jokeefe at 4:34 PM on November 18, 2004

I'll volunteer mind control.
posted by waxpancake at 5:28 PM on November 18, 2004

In his essay on fetishism, Freud gave the example of a patient who received sexual gratification from a "shine on the nose" of a woman. Interesting essay in any case, if you're interested in the psychanalytic interpretation of fetishism.
posted by ludwig_van at 6:01 PM on November 18, 2004

If pony-play isn't the perfect Mefi fetish, I don't know what is.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 6:30 PM on November 18, 2004

I think that pegging isn't likely to be a universal freakout among urban twenty- and thirty-somethings anymore.

Golden showers, on the other hand, and scat play still have the power to freak people out. I think, too, that anything sexual involving diapers has a powerful squick factor for the vast majority of people who don't share that kink.
posted by Sidhedevil at 7:49 PM on November 18, 2004

I VOTE SCAT.
posted by frenetic at 7:51 PM on November 18, 2004

Thanks for the diagr, catachresoid. I had forgotten completely about "human furniture".

Oddly, they have "fat admirers" on there, but not "anorexiphiles". I'm too tired to look for anorexic porn sites right now, but I've certainly seen some scary ones. Apparently there are bulimia fetishists too.
posted by Sidhedevil at 8:06 PM on November 18, 2004

I think any of the handicapped fetishes are odd/interesting because to a "normal" a handicap would be a turn-off rather than a turn-on. This might be extra limbs, missing legs, or gaping wounds. It runs the gamut from men attracted to women who have an artificial eye to women lusting for men who have hook hands. I always find this intriguing in a character-- what would cause somebody to be attracted to something everyone else considers repulsive. Must be a background story there.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 9:08 PM on November 18, 2004

Try Geoff Nicholson's novel Footsucker.
posted by Vidiot at 9:20 PM on November 18, 2004

Pegging wins!

Actually, it wins for plot purposes; being reminded of its existence kinda gave me a couple of ideas for the character, so pegging it is. But yeah, it's pretty tame.

Oh, and scat/vomit = icky. The question could've been phrased better, but I was mostly looking for stuff that's freaky, but just freaky enough, not "Superfreaky," if I may be Rick James for a moment. Bitch.

This one was a close second.
posted by billybunny at 9:26 PM on November 18, 2004

if you haven't already, you may want to check this site out. it's just a brief surface/summary startoff page for unusual fetishes, but i remember being surprised by some of the stuff mentioned. giantism, crushing, and balloons were all new to me the first time i saw the site (maybe a year or two ago).
posted by ifjuly at 10:25 PM on November 18, 2004

Um...women getting tickled counts as a fetish...or just foreplay gone overboard.

Actually...sounds pretty good either way. Ok, I'm in.
posted by Bixby23 at 3:25 AM on November 19, 2004

BBW, naturally.
posted by danOstuporStar at 4:39 AM on November 19, 2004

For the sake of completeness, the Hentai Dictionary is a good source for such brainstorming.

And, good point Sidhedevil. That diagram could use a "shrink" top level category to match the "growth" one.
posted by catachresoid at 5:47 AM on November 19, 2004