Ew, ew, ew... nothing worse than bad coffee.

April 9, 2009 7:18 AM

Tell me how to improve the awful coffee at work

No matter what kind of coffee grounds I buy, no matter how fresh it is, no matter how carefully I measure out the grounds and water, there is this horrible disgusting taste in our office coffee that I can't get around. Literally what I'd imagine ass tastes like. Same thing happened with a new coffee maker.

So what can I do? I think it's the water. I know ultimately I can go get a carbon filtration system to pre-filter the water, but what other options are there? Will adding salt possibly help, to soften the water? We're just a little university office, so we're not looking at big expensive solutions, just handy tricks.

Any coffee gurus out there to help me? Other tips and tricks welcome too, thanks!

posted by lizbunny to Food & Drink (26 answers total)

This might not work if you tried it with a new coffee maker, but whenever my coffee maker starts to get skanky, I run white vinegar through it, followed by a couple runs of plain water.
posted by solipsophistocracy at 7:21 AM on April 9, 2009

bottled water? Ozarka is fairly reasonable
posted by alcoth at 7:24 AM on April 9, 2009

Well, you're starting with pre-ground coffee, which doesn't do wonders for the taste. I would clean the hell out of the coffeemaker using white vinegar (as noted above), use bottled water (preferably from the reverse-osmosis method), and grind the beans fresh instead of starting with pre-ground.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 7:28 AM on April 9, 2009

When I used to work in an office with insanely bad coffee, I had no control over the filtration, etc. So what I did was I cut the coffee with instant hot chocolate mix. It doesn't taste like coffee but all the sweeteners and choco flavorings mixing with the coffee at least tastes so different that you're less like "bah this coffee is ASSS!" and more like, "hmmm this crazy mocha drink has caffeine in it and i can choke it down." Anyway, sounds like you've got better options, but if worst comes to, it's an option.

I think the water question is pretty easy to answer: buy a bottle of bottled water, run it through your existing machine w/ the grounds you always use. Still ass = not the water's fault.

What type of coffee makers are you using? It sounds like you've eliminated the coffee and specific machine as a source of trouble, and if you do the bottled water test, that will either fix the problem or leave you with no more variables besides the coffee maker. Some coffee making systems are more likely to make nasty coffee, like percolators. you could try getting a filter holder or a french press and using your same water, beans, etc. and seeing if that's it.
posted by jeb at 7:31 AM on April 9, 2009 [1 favorite]

If you suspect a water problem, try buying a jug of distilled water from the supermarket and trying that. It's a good guess.

How much coffee are you using in proportion to the water? Too much or too little coffee will taste too strong or weak and bitter.

Finally, and this is nothing that you can do anything about, but your coffee maker probably brews with the water too cold. Again, this rather kills the flavour.
posted by bonehead at 7:32 AM on April 9, 2009 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Coffee is mostly water. The quality of the end product is only as good as it's basic ingredients. If it's not your coffee maker, and it's not the coffee, it's clearly the water. I suggest getting a filter, just a pitcher sized Brita would be fine; it's much cheaper (and less wasteful) than buying a bunch of water bottles. It really is important to have fresh tasting water. Also what ratio of grounds to water are you using? The recommended proportion is 2 TBSP grounds to 6 oz water. If that's too strong for you (it often is) then add hot filtered water after it's done brewing. Adding the water later prevents over extracting the beans which results in bitter coffee. Other than that I would make sure the grind is appropriate to the coffee maker, and you should be golden.
posted by purpletangerine at 7:35 AM on April 9, 2009

Nthing the white vinegar / bottled water thing. Works very well.
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 7:37 AM on April 9, 2009

According to a series of infomercials from the 90's, CLR is supposed to rinse out coffee makers. I've never used it myself.
posted by cranberrymonger at 7:38 AM on April 9, 2009

I'm lazy, so I'd buy a monin syrup flavor I like, add too coffee, shrug it off. But that's me. Good luck!
posted by cestmoi15 at 7:39 AM on April 9, 2009

Best answer: Put a little salt in the filter before you throw the grounds in. Best diner coffee I ever had, I asked the waitress (named Rosie, of course) how they did that...she showed me that trick. Just a couple hearty shakes. I think it buffers the acidity or something.
posted by notsnot at 7:39 AM on April 9, 2009

Finally, and this is nothing that you can do anything about, but your coffee maker probably brews with the water too cold.

Actually, I've heard (in reference to bad hotel-room coffee) that you can just run the coffee machine once with no grounds to heat up the water, then pour the already-hot water back in, and the machine should be able to heat it to an appropriate temperature the second time.

Again, this depends on your machine, YMMV, IANAB(arista), yada yada yada.
posted by specialagentwebb at 7:50 AM on April 9, 2009

Be sure you're removing the grounds as soon as the coffee stops brewing. If the grounds sit there, its an opportunity for bitter flavor to leech out of the beans and into what you just brewed.
posted by selfmedicating at 7:54 AM on April 9, 2009

bonehead, there's an issue of Cook's Illustrated that advocates starting with lukewarm or warm tap water as a way of getting around the "brewing too cold" thing.
posted by LN at 8:06 AM on April 9, 2009

Are you ABSOLUTELY sure no one is messing with the coffee? Your "what I'd imagine ass tastes like" comment has me worried. It has happened before.
posted by pomegranate at 8:36 AM on April 9, 2009

Run vinegar through your machine, then again 50/50 vinegar and hot water, then just water about 2-3 times until the machine doesn't smell like vinegar. Vinegar is cheap (~$2-$3/gallon). We did this at the coffee shop I worked at. We also "snaked" the machine, which was running a flexible metal scrubber through the machine. I doubt you can (or need to) do this with your average Mr.Coffee drip maker but if you have a Bunn office-type it does help to remove the scale and buildup.

Thoroughly scrub the pot and filter basket. The deposits can add an unpleasant flavour to coffee.

If you've got a slightly better budget you can pick up an inexpensive bean grinder for ~$20. This won't buy you a top of the line model. Purists tell you to spend 10x that much and get a burr grinder. Even with just a blade grinder (the kind that makes coffee elitists scoff) the improvement from pre-ground to fresh ground beans is incredible.

Does the tap water taste okay? If not, try bottled or Brita-filtered water in addition to the suggestions below.

Table salt is not water softening salt. In my experience hard water tastes better than soft water, i.e. water softening salt makes water taste worse.
posted by KevCed at 8:42 AM on April 9, 2009

Throw away the 'coffee maker' to start with. I have no idea why North Americans like them so much. They make terrible coffee. Look at an average 'coffee maker' and look at how many bits, uncleanable parts, and external things can contaminate the coffee.

You should only drink coffee from an espresso machine. Ideally you need to find a cafe with a grumpy Italian old man behind the counter - they know what they are doing.

But at work with no espresso machine on site then your next bet is to use a French Press. If your water is bad then use bottled and boil it (microwave.)

Salt in coffee??? Next you will be calling an extra tall skinny Latte with a shot of hazel/syrup/chocolate coffee!

Espresso or a macchiato is how you should be having your coffee.
posted by lamby at 9:01 AM on April 9, 2009

Bonehead & LN, I remember reading a post on Lifehacker that suggested running the water through the coffee maker once without grounds so that it could heat up. (Lifehacker's not loading for me, or I would link to the post).
posted by hellogoodbye at 9:22 AM on April 9, 2009

some good suggestions, especially with the salt. I'd check your coffee machine (although I agree with lamby about using one at all... But I like variation - espresso and french press coffee are just different methods for making different types of coffee. Both kinds are good IF made well and with love. I mean, i'd never make a Kona espresso but I do want to drink it), anyway a lot of the cheaper coffee machines need really good cleaning. Watch the size of the grind (if you grind it yourself) and use a particle size appropriate for the type of brewing, also amount of coffee has an influence. Good luck!
posted by alchemist at 9:27 AM on April 9, 2009

You could easily bring in you own french press if you have access to boiling water.
posted by salvia at 9:49 AM on April 9, 2009

Best answer: Ok, I found the Newsweek article that the Lifehacker post pointed to... and the Newsweek article links to Cook's Illustrated: here .
posted by hellogoodbye at 9:56 AM on April 9, 2009

I bought a box full of mini creamers at the grocery store. They don't need to be refrigerated and it makes the coffee so much better. Cheap too. And if you still can't improve the taste, get the flavored ones to help mask it.
posted by JuiceBoxHero at 10:16 AM on April 9, 2009

You can usually trial office brewing systems such as Flavia and Keurig. Because they're single serving, you get a fresh cup of hot brown within a minute or so, and you can have variety when you feel like it and without someone else's previous flavored brew influencing your preference.
posted by hungrysquirrels at 10:45 AM on April 9, 2009

If the water tastes ok to you cold, it's a bit surprising it would make such an impact on your coffee, so that seems like a fairly simple test. If you drink it and notice something's off, you may as well have a filter anyway - they don't cost that much, and it seems better than adding salt to coffee and crossing your fingers... Plus won't you sometimes want to drink water? (maybe people are so anti-tap water these days that drinking it doesn't even occur to you, but if that's the case, you shouldn't be putting it in your coffee either. I'd base this on whether if you wanted a glass of water, you would use this tap and add salt as necessary /to alter the taste...)

But if the tap water seems fine cold, maybe it's the brand of coffee, or the kind of coffee maker (what have you tried so far?). For cheapo coffee that actually tastes pretty good, I recommend Cafe Bustelo, and even better than french press is Aeropress for the coffee maker.
posted by mdn at 11:23 AM on April 9, 2009

Pinch of salt - just a small pinch. Mellows out the bitter and sour.

Or, just switch to tea, which I did :)
posted by spinifex23 at 11:26 AM on April 9, 2009

I bring in a portable french press (single serving type), nuke the water to boiling, and let everyone else deal with the crap the office provides. Bringing your own water is pretty easy for that small a quantity, or hit up the water cooler.
posted by a robot made out of meat at 12:43 PM on April 9, 2009

Response by poster: Thanks, everyone! I tried filtered water, fixed part of the problem but something's still off... gonna try the vinegar next. Definitely going to get a french press for the home tho, sounds like my cup of joe.

btw, I have a friend who's a former barista and he strongly recommends against the home espresso machines... and after having used one, I concur. You have to go pretty high-end to get a decent one. The only thing sadder than bad coffee is bad espresso.
posted by lizbunny at 4:56 PM on April 20, 2009