7th grade sex ed did not cover this!
April 3, 2009 8:52 AM Subscribe
Backstory: Since my very first copy of "Our Bodies, Ourselves", I have never, ever been able to understand exactly which parts of my nether regions were the hymen and which parts were 'the rest of me' so to speak. I now have a couple of months of sex with my first partner under my belt and the landscape is continuing to erode. What gives, and (when) should I worry? All kinds of TMI to be found inside!
posted by anonymous to health & fitness (14 answers total)
I am into about my third month of penetrative sex with my first partner, who is big in the penis department. We haven't measured, but he can't wear anything smaller than magnum condoms. He's been great about helping me adjust, doesn't rush me through foreplay etc. and has been generally awesome. The (always condom-ed) sex is really great once we get going, but about half the time it's painful right at the start (a stinging feeling near the entrance of my vagina). Adding more lube helps but doesn't eliminate this initial pain. Mostly I'm concerned about possible friction damage from this, or from toy/finger penetration...
Right now, the situation with my vaginal entrance is basically a rim with a number of small 'notches' running along the sides & bottom. I think this is fairly normal, since my gyn. who I saw about 2 months after starting to have sex didn't have anything to say about it. However, just inside is where things get a little confusing for me. Basically, I seem to be developing more texture just inside the entrance than I used to have, and I'm worried that it's actual damage from friction that is not supposed to be happening.
It's all within the first inch or so inside, and on the upper side of my vagina (toward the clitoris), on either side of what I think is my g-spot (the books were also not very good at explaining that part). What's prompting this question is that my boyfriend noticed a new little section of slightly separated tissue while fingering me. Previous changes had seemed more like texture variation, this feels like one or two small horizontal cracks in the vaginal wall, leaving a pea-sized area that can be wiggled around a little right next to the g-spot.
The area is not painful however (just weird-feeling), and I don't remember a specific incident where this might have occurred. My boyfriend noticed it while fingering me, but we're not sure how long it's been there, because it's not quite in the 'line of travel'. Since we're both n00bs we don't really have a metric for how vigorous our passtimes are relative to other people, but I'd guess we're on the more enthusiastic end of vanilla sex. So on the one hand, I'm well aware that my vagina is designed for penises to fit inside, and on the other hand I have absolutely no idea what's normal.
Things that would be very helpful:
1) Is this type of change normal, even after a while of having sex? Is what I'm experiencing actually just more hymen erosion, or something else?
2) What, if anything, should we be doing to prevent (or treat) this, if it's a problem?
throwaway email: hymenQmefi@gmail.com