Me: 'Logic logic logic.' Mom: 'WHARRGARBL'
March 31, 2009 7:18 PM Subscribe
Mom's acting weird again, currently wrt my independence in various respects. Long story.
posted by kldickson to human relations (67 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
Where do I start?
I am a third-year undergrad neurobiology student, currently taking a year off after a disastrous last few semesters. Depression and anxiety, which were the cause of those disastrous last few semesters, were treated, and my grades are tons better (I'm taking two classes right now).
I go to a large public state school half the country away from my folks, and pay about $30000 per year in tuition.
Mom has, for what it's worth, attempted to drive me nuts, and the latest manifestation of her insanity is in the form of not allowing me to go to Europe, in countries that have VASTLY lower crime rates than the United States according to NationMaster, on my own dollar and by myself.
I addressed this in another post, but to make it short, I've actually printed out PAGE AFTER PAGE of NationMaster statistics and she will not budge.
'Because I said so.'
'Come on, you've got to have actual REASONING. Besides, I'm 20, not 15; that shit will NOT cut it with me.'
'... You have depression and anxiety!'
'Those were treated.'
'... You can't pay for it! What about your tuition?'
'Provided I contribute, well, most of the money I earn toward tuition, I don't think it's unreasonable to set aside a predetermined amount of money for a trip overseas.'
'Unless you give me actual reasoning, I'm going to tell you you're an idiot.'
'You're an idiot. Give me some GOOD reasoning and I'll stop thinking you're an idiot.'
That is essentially how a conversation tonight went. It probably wasn't a good idea to call her an idiot, but 1) I can't unsay it, and 2) I got fed up with the disrespect. I will tell her 'sorry I called you an idiot; at the same time, not having good reasoning is FUCKING IDIOTIC and not telling me the reasoning behind the way you would deal with me in various circumstances is FUCKING IDIOTIC and I feel disrespected.'
Maybe she's trying to tell me to move the fuck out or become completely independent or something (completely non-cognizant of the fact that despite the fact that that would be GREAT, I can't really do that right now because I have to study and a job would detract from my studying).
Moving out is not an option, because of curriculum, tuition, and the fact that I need to get into grad school and want to get into grad school - job will detract from study and I need good grades.
Any suggestions for what I can do, hive mind?