I have four months: help me become superwoman
March 28, 2009 4:02 AM
My workload was insane and I wasn't coping, so I've reduced it - but only for four months. What can I do to build my resilience and general life-handling ability during that time? If you've ever taken 'time off' to sort yourself out, I would love to hear your story.
My life involves various combinations of:
- Full- and part-time professional work in a knowledge industry
- Full- and part-time university study in an unrelated field
[Together, these amount to 40-60 hours a week]
- Desk-based volunteer work which I enjoy
- Freelance projects, which I would like to do more of
- All the other stuff I ought to do, but often don't have time for: exercise, reading for pleasure, catching up with friends, cooking and eating healthy meals, cleaning, getting out in nature and just plain relaxing.
I actually don't think this is an unreasonable amount of stuff to pack into a life. I'm young, I enjoy most of what I do, and I know lots of high-achievers who are similarly busy and seem to manage just fine. Evidently, I am not that kind of high achiever, because lately, things have begun to fall apart. I'm pretty sure I'm not burnt out, although I have been depressed at times. I think my life just became so completely disorganised that I stopped looking after myself, and suddenly a reasonable workload became completely unworkable.
As a result, I've cut my workload back to just 30 hours a week until July. There is no way this can be anything other than temporary: in four months, I will be batshit-insanely busy again. What can I do in this time to actually become the resilient, organised, motivated, unflappable, life-handling superwoman I obviously thought I was when I signed up for all of this?
I'm already seeing a therapist and considering seeing a nutritionist. I've started to exercise again after a few months' hiatus. I want to work out a comprehensive daily routine of some sort, but I don't really know where to start. What else can I do to make this therapeutic downtime worthwhile? All suggestions gratefully considered.
My life involves various combinations of:
- Full- and part-time professional work in a knowledge industry
- Full- and part-time university study in an unrelated field
[Together, these amount to 40-60 hours a week]
- Desk-based volunteer work which I enjoy
- Freelance projects, which I would like to do more of
- All the other stuff I ought to do, but often don't have time for: exercise, reading for pleasure, catching up with friends, cooking and eating healthy meals, cleaning, getting out in nature and just plain relaxing.
I actually don't think this is an unreasonable amount of stuff to pack into a life. I'm young, I enjoy most of what I do, and I know lots of high-achievers who are similarly busy and seem to manage just fine. Evidently, I am not that kind of high achiever, because lately, things have begun to fall apart. I'm pretty sure I'm not burnt out, although I have been depressed at times. I think my life just became so completely disorganised that I stopped looking after myself, and suddenly a reasonable workload became completely unworkable.
As a result, I've cut my workload back to just 30 hours a week until July. There is no way this can be anything other than temporary: in four months, I will be batshit-insanely busy again. What can I do in this time to actually become the resilient, organised, motivated, unflappable, life-handling superwoman I obviously thought I was when I signed up for all of this?
I'm already seeing a therapist and considering seeing a nutritionist. I've started to exercise again after a few months' hiatus. I want to work out a comprehensive daily routine of some sort, but I don't really know where to start. What else can I do to make this therapeutic downtime worthwhile? All suggestions gratefully considered.
That you're young and taking care of yourself enough to take this time off is fantastic! But I'm afraid you are setting standards for yourself way too high. Don't compare yourselves to others--they "seem" (as you said) to be coping but could be major perfectionist stressballs.
I think you need to use these months to decide it's okay not to be superwoman. Or maybe to decide that doing half of this stuff makes you a superwoman anyway.
What you are trying to accomplish sounds like more than any one person could or should do. School and work and freelance and exercise and volunteer and actually have a social life?
Maybe you could take some time to write a hypothetical schedule of how this would all fit, including things like laundry and grocery shopping, and including a good amount of sleep each night. Use something like google calendar or even an excel spreadsheet to try to figure this all out.
Your days sound crazy busy to me. Are you an extrovert who thrives being around other people? Or do you need down time too?
posted by bluedaisy at 4:58 AM on March 28, 2009
I think you need to use these months to decide it's okay not to be superwoman. Or maybe to decide that doing half of this stuff makes you a superwoman anyway.
What you are trying to accomplish sounds like more than any one person could or should do. School and work and freelance and exercise and volunteer and actually have a social life?
Maybe you could take some time to write a hypothetical schedule of how this would all fit, including things like laundry and grocery shopping, and including a good amount of sleep each night. Use something like google calendar or even an excel spreadsheet to try to figure this all out.
Your days sound crazy busy to me. Are you an extrovert who thrives being around other people? Or do you need down time too?
posted by bluedaisy at 4:58 AM on March 28, 2009
Thanks, nax and bluedaishy, for your kind comments.
I do realise that for many people in my situation, the best option would be to downsize, re-evaluate and end up with a permanently simpler, quieter life. For complex reasons that I don't want to go into here, that is not the best option for me. In four months, my life will be busy again; it's simply not negotiable. The best I can do is to minimise freelance and volunteering so my total workload doesn't exceed 60 hours a week.
Given this situation, and the fact that I actually like being busy and productive - what can I do to build the resilience necessary to handle it? I know that Metafilter is full of reasonable, well-adjusted people with schedules every bit as busy as mine. The average working parent is busier and more stressed than me. What I'm trying to do is doable. And I have four months to dedicate myself to getting better at it.
My question is about what I can do during my 'time off' that will leave me stronger, more resilient, more motivated, more organised and better able to handle all the responsibilities I've willingly taken on.
posted by [ixia] at 5:25 AM on March 28, 2009
I do realise that for many people in my situation, the best option would be to downsize, re-evaluate and end up with a permanently simpler, quieter life. For complex reasons that I don't want to go into here, that is not the best option for me. In four months, my life will be busy again; it's simply not negotiable. The best I can do is to minimise freelance and volunteering so my total workload doesn't exceed 60 hours a week.
Given this situation, and the fact that I actually like being busy and productive - what can I do to build the resilience necessary to handle it? I know that Metafilter is full of reasonable, well-adjusted people with schedules every bit as busy as mine. The average working parent is busier and more stressed than me. What I'm trying to do is doable. And I have four months to dedicate myself to getting better at it.
My question is about what I can do during my 'time off' that will leave me stronger, more resilient, more motivated, more organised and better able to handle all the responsibilities I've willingly taken on.
posted by [ixia] at 5:25 AM on March 28, 2009
Oh, and all this is relatively temporary. In a year or two, I'll have finished the degree and will be back to only being overworked by an employer. [Bluedaisy: I'm an introvert, but neither work nor study are excessively social].
posted by [ixia] at 5:33 AM on March 28, 2009
posted by [ixia] at 5:33 AM on March 28, 2009
Before we start spouting off strategies, what are you currently doing to cope with your workload? I mean, that sounds a bit insane to me (a self-confessed disorganised lazy person) so you must already be doing something to deal - the usual 'make a schedule and stick to it', use to-do lists, etc etc ...?
posted by Xany at 5:47 AM on March 28, 2009
posted by Xany at 5:47 AM on March 28, 2009
I used to work with a consultant that did 60-80 hrs of work every week for 9 months, then took 3 months off, drank heavily, saw his shrink, and got his head back in the game. He did this every year like clockwork. He had his big ticket items (boat, nice cars, awesome sound system, etc) which he used for 3 months and then he'd take a series of long term contracts that got him as far away as possible from his stuff as he could. He'd work till he was miserable, and then go back home, hang out on his boat, and catch up with his shrink.
For him, he thought it worked out good because once he got the ball rolling with work he found it hard to put down. Then a 3 month vacation was just enough time to reorganize and put him back on track. He had no family, no close friends (that I know of - as we routinely drank in a bar down the street from his corporate housing).
Personally, I couldn't live like that. I need constant distractions. I need to take time and see my family. If I'd wanted 9 month stints where I was hyper-focused like that, I'd have joined the Navy.
You can put off self assessment, actualization, or whatever it is that actually makes you distinctly you (and not a research-bot) for only so long. At some point, you need to slow down and take time for yourself. Failure to do so goes in the things fall apart the center cannot hold category.
posted by Nanukthedog at 6:17 AM on March 28, 2009
For him, he thought it worked out good because once he got the ball rolling with work he found it hard to put down. Then a 3 month vacation was just enough time to reorganize and put him back on track. He had no family, no close friends (that I know of - as we routinely drank in a bar down the street from his corporate housing).
Personally, I couldn't live like that. I need constant distractions. I need to take time and see my family. If I'd wanted 9 month stints where I was hyper-focused like that, I'd have joined the Navy.
You can put off self assessment, actualization, or whatever it is that actually makes you distinctly you (and not a research-bot) for only so long. At some point, you need to slow down and take time for yourself. Failure to do so goes in the things fall apart the center cannot hold category.
posted by Nanukthedog at 6:17 AM on March 28, 2009
Getting Things Done, by David Allen, rests on the principle that a person needs to move tasks out of the mind by recording them externally. Allen advocates a weekly review focused on different processes. The perspective gained from these reviews should drive one's priorities, which in turn determines the priority of the individual tasks and commitments gathered during the workflow process. During a weekly review, the user determines the context for the tasks and puts them on appropriate lists. Examples of grouping together similar tasks include making a list of telephone calls to make or errands to do while downtown.
Try not to get too wound up in time frames that are months, or more, from the present. Try to keep your focus on just this week, or even just today, to make your goals more manageable. When you think only of your current workflow process, your tasks and goals seem more easily accomplished. If you start thinking, woe is me, I have so much to do in the next six months, you will get off course and stressed.
No matter what you end up doing to get yourself through these stressful times in your life, always allocate at least a couple hours each week just for you. Pamper yourself. Whether it be a visit to the spa, sitting on a park bench reading your favorite author, or listening to your latest CD with the headphones on, the downtime and solitude is very important to sustained serenity. You will do well, because you are awesome.
posted by netbros at 7:03 AM on March 28, 2009
Try not to get too wound up in time frames that are months, or more, from the present. Try to keep your focus on just this week, or even just today, to make your goals more manageable. When you think only of your current workflow process, your tasks and goals seem more easily accomplished. If you start thinking, woe is me, I have so much to do in the next six months, you will get off course and stressed.
No matter what you end up doing to get yourself through these stressful times in your life, always allocate at least a couple hours each week just for you. Pamper yourself. Whether it be a visit to the spa, sitting on a park bench reading your favorite author, or listening to your latest CD with the headphones on, the downtime and solitude is very important to sustained serenity. You will do well, because you are awesome.
posted by netbros at 7:03 AM on March 28, 2009
My understanding is that you want to take this time to set up a system. Is that right? I highly, highly recommend Getting Things Done (which netbros already recommended). Find a good software application to sort all your notes. (I use Circus Ponies' Notebook, but I'm a Mac user.) Get everything out of your head. Everything. Getting Things Done can help you organize your projects. Seven Habits by Stephen Covey can help you focus your life in the right direction. I'm sure you can find many more productivity books on Amazon.
Once I had everything written down (typed down?), it was easier for me to find ways to simplify my life. I'm not talking about cutting project. I'm talking about doing things for effectively. It's amazing how much more time you can have, just by working smarter.
There're a lot of useful resources out there to help. This is a fairly common problem, after all. I read the Lifehacker blog, but I know there're many more (43 Folders, Lifehack, etc.). I think there was a GTD conference in California recently, and I think there're GTD seminars throughout the country. If you can, you might want to check them out, even if it's just to learn from other attendese.
posted by larkin123 at 8:35 AM on March 28, 2009
Once I had everything written down (typed down?), it was easier for me to find ways to simplify my life. I'm not talking about cutting project. I'm talking about doing things for effectively. It's amazing how much more time you can have, just by working smarter.
There're a lot of useful resources out there to help. This is a fairly common problem, after all. I read the Lifehacker blog, but I know there're many more (43 Folders, Lifehack, etc.). I think there was a GTD conference in California recently, and I think there're GTD seminars throughout the country. If you can, you might want to check them out, even if it's just to learn from other attendese.
posted by larkin123 at 8:35 AM on March 28, 2009
Flylady is great for establishing cleaning routines. It's a great system for people who don't like to clean and don't have time to, but also don't want to be embarrassed by their house. It's got a kind of cutesy-poo happy homemaker vibe, but it is an excellent resource.
posted by selfmedicating at 8:53 AM on March 28, 2009
posted by selfmedicating at 8:53 AM on March 28, 2009
Several years ago I was overloaded by life (work, infants, etc.) and ended up in the ICU with double pneumonia and blood poisoning. A week of many tubes stuck into me a serious doctors staring at me. After that I had to change my ways.
I decided I didn't want to die and that change was mandatory.
I greatly reduced my caffeine intake to no more than a cup of coffee or tea a day.
Leave my desk and walk around at least once an hour, stopping to talk to people.
I got more sleep, whether my work was done or not.
I ate healthier. Not crazy nut-job macro-veggie healthy, just cutting down fast/processed food.
I did some mild exercise (chi-gun) that was low stress.
I planned events that were purely for fun and in no way work/task related on a regular basis.
I began to be realistic to what I could achieve in a day.
Things I did not do:
Try elaborate methods to cram more work in.
Find a magic method that let me do everything possible and have no impact.
Stop working hard - I worked hard when it was work time, but made sure there was plenty of non-work time.
Last word of advice that may (or not) apply: Never eat a meal at your desk. This is a sign of not making time for your fundamental needs. Get up and go somewhere else besides you you desk to eat. You mind needs rest during the day.
Good luck!
posted by Argyle at 9:04 AM on March 28, 2009
I decided I didn't want to die and that change was mandatory.
I greatly reduced my caffeine intake to no more than a cup of coffee or tea a day.
Leave my desk and walk around at least once an hour, stopping to talk to people.
I got more sleep, whether my work was done or not.
I ate healthier. Not crazy nut-job macro-veggie healthy, just cutting down fast/processed food.
I did some mild exercise (chi-gun) that was low stress.
I planned events that were purely for fun and in no way work/task related on a regular basis.
I began to be realistic to what I could achieve in a day.
Things I did not do:
Try elaborate methods to cram more work in.
Find a magic method that let me do everything possible and have no impact.
Stop working hard - I worked hard when it was work time, but made sure there was plenty of non-work time.
Last word of advice that may (or not) apply: Never eat a meal at your desk. This is a sign of not making time for your fundamental needs. Get up and go somewhere else besides you you desk to eat. You mind needs rest during the day.
Good luck!
posted by Argyle at 9:04 AM on March 28, 2009
You should use this 4 months to establish routines in your life. Someone mentioned FlyLady above. That is a great website not just for helping establish a cleaning routine, but because the main premise of the website is that you can do anything for 15 minutes a day. Think about how many extra hours a day that you will have when you go back to your crazy schedule. Is it 1 extra hour? Then think about the 4 activities you would most like to do each day to keep yourself balanced. If your list was like: keep the house clean, exercise, eat healthy meals, be in nature more, you could kill a couple of birds with one stone, by spending 30 minutes a day taking a walk outside. Can you make meals that will feed you for multiple days in a row? Then you switch around your time so you spend 45 minutes one day making a meal that lasts a few, and then on the other days have even more time to devote to other important things. So that's your long-term planning.
If you can spare 2 hours a day, even better!
In the short term, take the extra time you have to get your house really clean, get in awesome shape, and learn recipes that can be made quickly and in larger/freezable quantities. Establish routines for maintaining these things. When the shit hits the fan again it will be much easier to go back to your zen place and a lot of your goals will already be accomplished. FlyLady also stresses the importance of coming up with a before-bed and morning daily routine. Stuff like getting your clothing ready for the next day, putting what you need for the day by the front door, etc. It is amazing how helpful this is in reducing stress when life is crazy.
posted by sickinthehead at 10:00 AM on March 28, 2009
If you can spare 2 hours a day, even better!
In the short term, take the extra time you have to get your house really clean, get in awesome shape, and learn recipes that can be made quickly and in larger/freezable quantities. Establish routines for maintaining these things. When the shit hits the fan again it will be much easier to go back to your zen place and a lot of your goals will already be accomplished. FlyLady also stresses the importance of coming up with a before-bed and morning daily routine. Stuff like getting your clothing ready for the next day, putting what you need for the day by the front door, etc. It is amazing how helpful this is in reducing stress when life is crazy.
posted by sickinthehead at 10:00 AM on March 28, 2009
By the way, maintaining the balance in life between working and what makes you happy outside of work is one of the main things that most people I know struggle with throughout their whole lives.
posted by sickinthehead at 10:04 AM on March 28, 2009
posted by sickinthehead at 10:04 AM on March 28, 2009
Definitely agree that this "downtime" should be used to recreate your life's framework.
GTD has a lot of good points- the concept that you use some kind of to-do mechanism to be able to know what to do at any given time. However, the exact tools they recommend only work in certain situations. And the crux of whether it works isn't whether you set up these mechanisms, but whether you actually believe in them and use them.
(Example- I was always forgetting stuff. I tried calendars and time management software. But those only worked if I took the time to look at the calendar, or open the software. Which I'd forget to do, because I was "busy". And so I wouldn't put tasks onto these tools because I was afraid I would miss them. I didn't trust the system. What made this work was setting up Outlook Tasks for work, and a plugin for Thunderbird at home. But that only works for me because I ALWAYS have my email open. Because I knew anything I put in there would in fact "come out the other end" at the appropriate time, I learned to trust my system.)
So, much of what you need to do to be able to cope with your workload is to design a system that fits into your life, so that you can use it effectively and trust it.
Now, my suggestions would be to prioritize some of your stuff. Gotta work the regular job, and presumably you have to finish your degree. But the volunteering and freelance stuff is optional. You may enjoy them, but if they are overloading you, you are trading short term pleasure for long term pain. Not usually a good tradeoff.
What I'd do is (as above suggested) is to work out a realistic schedule. On paper or some other visual thing so you can see what's going on. Block out the "mandatory" time first- work, school, commuting, sleep. Fit in the slightly less mandatory stuff where you can- eating, decompressing/socializing, etc. If there's any room left over, that's where the optional stuff goes.
The hard part is being honest about yout time committments- if it takes you an hour to get ready for work in the morning, but you *wish* it would only take 45 minutes, don't schedule 45 minutes. Your schedule will fail, you won't trust it and you are back into chaos. If you get to a point where some task starts to reliably take less time, then shorten its time.
At the same time, have a "job jar" kind of thing with silly tasks that aren't time sensitive, but really ought to get done. When you think of something you need to do, like organizing the medicine cabinet, write it down on a piece of paper and include the amount of time you think it ought to take. Next time you have a spare half hour, dig through the jobs and find something that will fit in the excess time.
(Also, for me and a lot of people I know, it simply doesn't work if I try to do fun things before I'm done with the tasks of the day. If I decide that I'm going to surf the internet and watch an hour of TV, and THEN I'm going to get some other shit done, it never gets done. The "homework before TV" rule. It's less strict for weekend kinds of things, but it is a guaranteed failure on weekdays. On a weekend, I can probably make this work:
07-10 - Wake up, breakfast, read paper.
10-12 - Clean kitchen and living room.
12-14 - Lunch with friend.
14-18 - Movie
18-19 - Clean living room
19-20 - Get ready for date.
20-00 - Date and home.
00-07 - Sleep.
But if I try to make this work, it simply never will:
09-17- Work
17-18- Dinner
18-19- Read book.
19-21- Sort mail, pay bills.
Anyway, good luck. You have a great opportunity!
posted by gjc at 10:41 AM on March 28, 2009
GTD has a lot of good points- the concept that you use some kind of to-do mechanism to be able to know what to do at any given time. However, the exact tools they recommend only work in certain situations. And the crux of whether it works isn't whether you set up these mechanisms, but whether you actually believe in them and use them.
(Example- I was always forgetting stuff. I tried calendars and time management software. But those only worked if I took the time to look at the calendar, or open the software. Which I'd forget to do, because I was "busy". And so I wouldn't put tasks onto these tools because I was afraid I would miss them. I didn't trust the system. What made this work was setting up Outlook Tasks for work, and a plugin for Thunderbird at home. But that only works for me because I ALWAYS have my email open. Because I knew anything I put in there would in fact "come out the other end" at the appropriate time, I learned to trust my system.)
So, much of what you need to do to be able to cope with your workload is to design a system that fits into your life, so that you can use it effectively and trust it.
Now, my suggestions would be to prioritize some of your stuff. Gotta work the regular job, and presumably you have to finish your degree. But the volunteering and freelance stuff is optional. You may enjoy them, but if they are overloading you, you are trading short term pleasure for long term pain. Not usually a good tradeoff.
What I'd do is (as above suggested) is to work out a realistic schedule. On paper or some other visual thing so you can see what's going on. Block out the "mandatory" time first- work, school, commuting, sleep. Fit in the slightly less mandatory stuff where you can- eating, decompressing/socializing, etc. If there's any room left over, that's where the optional stuff goes.
The hard part is being honest about yout time committments- if it takes you an hour to get ready for work in the morning, but you *wish* it would only take 45 minutes, don't schedule 45 minutes. Your schedule will fail, you won't trust it and you are back into chaos. If you get to a point where some task starts to reliably take less time, then shorten its time.
At the same time, have a "job jar" kind of thing with silly tasks that aren't time sensitive, but really ought to get done. When you think of something you need to do, like organizing the medicine cabinet, write it down on a piece of paper and include the amount of time you think it ought to take. Next time you have a spare half hour, dig through the jobs and find something that will fit in the excess time.
(Also, for me and a lot of people I know, it simply doesn't work if I try to do fun things before I'm done with the tasks of the day. If I decide that I'm going to surf the internet and watch an hour of TV, and THEN I'm going to get some other shit done, it never gets done. The "homework before TV" rule. It's less strict for weekend kinds of things, but it is a guaranteed failure on weekdays. On a weekend, I can probably make this work:
07-10 - Wake up, breakfast, read paper.
10-12 - Clean kitchen and living room.
12-14 - Lunch with friend.
14-18 - Movie
18-19 - Clean living room
19-20 - Get ready for date.
20-00 - Date and home.
00-07 - Sleep.
But if I try to make this work, it simply never will:
09-17- Work
17-18- Dinner
18-19- Read book.
19-21- Sort mail, pay bills.
Anyway, good luck. You have a great opportunity!
posted by gjc at 10:41 AM on March 28, 2009
If you're already burning out at your age with that level of activity, there isn't a quick fix (four months is quick, when it comes to overwork's impact on your system).
Your best bet, the one that will keep you going longer and let you achieve early in life without permanently snuffing your flame, would be to spend the next four months this way:
• Figure out the time needed for vital self-care activities (exercise, eating right, hygiene, sleeping well, socialising are all vital) for each day of an entire week - note that there is no such thing as "catch-up sleep", when figuring this.
• Determine how little of each of the non-vital activities you can reasonably get away with while still succeeding (or establishing the limits of your ability to succeed, as sometimes occurs).
• Prioritise everything by what has to be done (self-care is vital, remember) and what can wait or be maintained with low effort until you've cleared one of the other commitments.
I don't know what makes your high level of occupied time non-negotiable, but for me it was to avoid a certain cycle of thought processes and get as much security in as short as time a possible. I kept it up for a pretty long time (more than a decade) before it got ugly. If I knew then what I know now, I would have figured out how to parcel my time with respect to the needs of the human body taking precedence over all other choices (within reason, within reasonable compromise), because once it catches up to you, you're generally less resilient than you were when it all started.
I hope it's clear I'm not recommending quitting everything, just determining how much you strictly need to commit time to after figuring out how much time it really takes to take care of yourself in the midst of all of these responsibilities.
Whatever you do, good luck.
posted by batmonkey at 11:19 AM on March 28, 2009
Your best bet, the one that will keep you going longer and let you achieve early in life without permanently snuffing your flame, would be to spend the next four months this way:
• Figure out the time needed for vital self-care activities (exercise, eating right, hygiene, sleeping well, socialising are all vital) for each day of an entire week - note that there is no such thing as "catch-up sleep", when figuring this.
• Determine how little of each of the non-vital activities you can reasonably get away with while still succeeding (or establishing the limits of your ability to succeed, as sometimes occurs).
• Prioritise everything by what has to be done (self-care is vital, remember) and what can wait or be maintained with low effort until you've cleared one of the other commitments.
I don't know what makes your high level of occupied time non-negotiable, but for me it was to avoid a certain cycle of thought processes and get as much security in as short as time a possible. I kept it up for a pretty long time (more than a decade) before it got ugly. If I knew then what I know now, I would have figured out how to parcel my time with respect to the needs of the human body taking precedence over all other choices (within reason, within reasonable compromise), because once it catches up to you, you're generally less resilient than you were when it all started.
I hope it's clear I'm not recommending quitting everything, just determining how much you strictly need to commit time to after figuring out how much time it really takes to take care of yourself in the midst of all of these responsibilities.
Whatever you do, good luck.
posted by batmonkey at 11:19 AM on March 28, 2009
Reading back through everything everyone else has written, you have a veritable manual for a happy, productive, healthy, well-rewarded life in here.
Great to see a thread draw so many useful comments...my favourites just benefited immensely.
posted by batmonkey at 11:32 AM on March 28, 2009
Great to see a thread draw so many useful comments...my favourites just benefited immensely.
posted by batmonkey at 11:32 AM on March 28, 2009
There are two issues here. The first is to ensure that you physically look after yourself - consider it me-work as opposed to work-work and be just as dilligent about doing it. Basically do what Argyle says - sleep, eat, exercise, make your home pleasant, play. Work-work will still be there in the morning, but you won't be able to do work-work at the level you want to if you don't do me-work.
The second is to work smart. Focus on getting the tasks at hand done and take time to stop, take a step back and assess situations - as opposed to just reacting to the onslaught. This allows you to prioritise, to challenge timings, to delegate or find the most efficient way to do something (that may include defining an adequate output that meets all the requirements as opposed to the perfect output that takes an extra few hrs to produce but adds no real value) - it is time well spent.
For example, allocate an hr mid afternoon to your email - and ignore it for the rest of the day. If it is really urgent they will ring you if they don't hear form you instantly and the rest will keep for a few hours - as long as you react within 24 hrs you are reacting in a timely manner.
You may also have to think about what you are doing and decide not to do something - I love what I do and had a habit of saying yes to all additional roles and projects I was asked to get involved in. Trouble is that I ended up committing more time than I had available and not sleeping as a result...this has forced me to be a lot more realistic about how much time I can give and I have started to limit my involvement in some things as a result.
For example I'd love to observe every assessment centre I am asked to observe but it takes a full day out of my working week and the location requires 5 hrs travel on top of that - it takes too much time...so I only make myself available for the telephone role play exercise the candidates have to do and not as observer.
Another example - this week I was asked to get involved in a very interesting project (project A) which would be a great development opportunity but also involve a lot of travel as it is the other side of the region. It would limit my ability to continue with another project (project B) I have been involved with for a while. So I asked for time to consider and spoke to the person in charge of project B and it turns out that I can significantly increase my involvement in project B going forward which would make that a similarly good development opportunity. So I'll increase my role in project B and say no to project A as I can have just as much of a challenge with a lot less travel doing project B. And I can spend the time I'm not travelling fulfilling my other commitments without working through the night.
So for the next four months start to do me-work, establish some smart work habits and consider your overall commitments. When the onslaught starts again focus on maintaining these good habits (me-work and working smart) and give yourself the opportunity to stop and think.
posted by koahiatamadl at 12:10 PM on March 28, 2009
The second is to work smart. Focus on getting the tasks at hand done and take time to stop, take a step back and assess situations - as opposed to just reacting to the onslaught. This allows you to prioritise, to challenge timings, to delegate or find the most efficient way to do something (that may include defining an adequate output that meets all the requirements as opposed to the perfect output that takes an extra few hrs to produce but adds no real value) - it is time well spent.
For example, allocate an hr mid afternoon to your email - and ignore it for the rest of the day. If it is really urgent they will ring you if they don't hear form you instantly and the rest will keep for a few hours - as long as you react within 24 hrs you are reacting in a timely manner.
You may also have to think about what you are doing and decide not to do something - I love what I do and had a habit of saying yes to all additional roles and projects I was asked to get involved in. Trouble is that I ended up committing more time than I had available and not sleeping as a result...this has forced me to be a lot more realistic about how much time I can give and I have started to limit my involvement in some things as a result.
For example I'd love to observe every assessment centre I am asked to observe but it takes a full day out of my working week and the location requires 5 hrs travel on top of that - it takes too much time...so I only make myself available for the telephone role play exercise the candidates have to do and not as observer.
Another example - this week I was asked to get involved in a very interesting project (project A) which would be a great development opportunity but also involve a lot of travel as it is the other side of the region. It would limit my ability to continue with another project (project B) I have been involved with for a while. So I asked for time to consider and spoke to the person in charge of project B and it turns out that I can significantly increase my involvement in project B going forward which would make that a similarly good development opportunity. So I'll increase my role in project B and say no to project A as I can have just as much of a challenge with a lot less travel doing project B. And I can spend the time I'm not travelling fulfilling my other commitments without working through the night.
So for the next four months start to do me-work, establish some smart work habits and consider your overall commitments. When the onslaught starts again focus on maintaining these good habits (me-work and working smart) and give yourself the opportunity to stop and think.
posted by koahiatamadl at 12:10 PM on March 28, 2009
I don't think it's a matter of getting all prepared, then BAM! throwing on the load.
I think you should think of it more as a gradual acclimation. Like boiling a frog. Add the workload a little at a time, like layering clothing. Your normal job makes money, so that's required. Taking care of yourself, also required. Can handle ok? check. Now the school. Important for the future. Do those until it doesn't seem too difficult. Now the volunteering, but scale the hours up and down to the comfort level. Too much? Go back on the last thing for a while, but not all the way back to the beginning. See what I'm saying? It's not a binary choice, full speed or "taking a break". It's somewhere in between that you'll find comfortable, and as you get good at it, you'll be able to push harder.
posted by ctmf at 2:26 PM on March 28, 2009
I think you should think of it more as a gradual acclimation. Like boiling a frog. Add the workload a little at a time, like layering clothing. Your normal job makes money, so that's required. Taking care of yourself, also required. Can handle ok? check. Now the school. Important for the future. Do those until it doesn't seem too difficult. Now the volunteering, but scale the hours up and down to the comfort level. Too much? Go back on the last thing for a while, but not all the way back to the beginning. See what I'm saying? It's not a binary choice, full speed or "taking a break". It's somewhere in between that you'll find comfortable, and as you get good at it, you'll be able to push harder.
posted by ctmf at 2:26 PM on March 28, 2009
Wow I wish I had asked this question a few months ago. I spent 5 months in a 80-100+ hours/week job, hated every minute of it, and couldn't stop thinking about all the things I was finally going to have time for when it ended (everything from doing laundry to going to the movies)...and then when it ended I basically refused to do anything at all for 2 months (seriously, I sat around surfing the internet and doing NOTHING), and now that I'm working again (in a much more reasonable, 50-ish hours/week job), I'm thinking about how I could have spent that time better. On the one hand, it was nice to be able to do nothing (really, don't knock doing nothing, sometimes you just need it), and also it was important for me to learn how to be alright with just being alone with myself and my thoughts again, after months of never having a minute to myself. On the other hand, I wish I used at least a little of that time to set up some systems for myself. While scheduling out every moment of my day probably would be more regimented than I could handle, it would have been smart to decide that, say, Saturday is laundry day, Sunday is grocery day, and every weeknight I will spend 15 minutes cleaning up around the house, or something. I also wished I had picked up one hobby (either something old that I used to love, like the weekly dance class I used to go to, or something new that I had never tried before). And third, I wish I had spent a little less time on the internet (I rationalized it as "job-hunting," but really I was just goofing around a lot of the time). Finally, you also might want to actually hard-schedule fun/relaxation into your calendar - decide that you're going to read or watch a movie or go for a walk in the park or whatever for x amount of time, and don't spend any of that time feeling guilty that you're not doing something "productive."
If I could go back and do those 2 months of nothing (and I know you're stil working and not doing nothing, but I think the general idea is the same) over again, those are the things I think I would change. Oh and maybe also exercised - I think I would have felt like less of a useless blob if I had been more active.
Sorry for rambling. Good luck!
posted by naoko at 9:03 PM on March 28, 2009
If I could go back and do those 2 months of nothing (and I know you're stil working and not doing nothing, but I think the general idea is the same) over again, those are the things I think I would change. Oh and maybe also exercised - I think I would have felt like less of a useless blob if I had been more active.
Sorry for rambling. Good luck!
posted by naoko at 9:03 PM on March 28, 2009
Thanks, all. I guess some self-evaluation is in order - I'm surprised at how many of you think my schedule is insane, but you're probably right. For now, I'm prioritising self-care above everything else, and hoping I'll get so used to looking after myself that it'll come naturally once I'm busy again.
posted by [ixia] at 3:00 AM on March 30, 2009
posted by [ixia] at 3:00 AM on March 30, 2009
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by nax at 4:17 AM on March 28, 2009