Too many balls, what to do?

March 17, 2009 12:28 PM

What are some interesting or useful things I can do with about 100 golf balls?

I have a big basket of golf balls of varying quality, brand and weight (is that what the numbers on the balls mean?). I found them all in my back yard, so they are all 'used'. They are mostly white in color, a few yellow and one hot pink.

I'm moving soon and would like to do something interesting with them before I move so I don't end up throwing them away. I'm located in Northern Virginia and not a golfer. I would prefer not to give them away or sell them because, well, finders keepers.

I'm open to anything, but my goal in life is to make my wife laugh so the wackier the better.

Juggling is out, I can only do three at a time.

posted by deepscene to home & garden (18 comments total)

Work on your swing.
posted by nitsuj at 12:31 PM on March 17 [1 favorite]

Go somewhere where there isn't a lot of property to damage and hit them off a tee or dropped from midair with a metal baseball bat. Go home and tell your wife about your record-breaking drive.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 12:34 PM on March 17

The numbers help players identify balls on the course.

"Here's a #4 Titleist under these azaleas. That yours?"

"Nope. Mine's a #2 Titleist..."

As for the balance...

Giant pachinko machine?

A golfball fountain? (you'd need a conveyor instead of a pump).

A mosaic?

Related.
posted by notyou at 12:35 PM on March 17

I like to fill the trunk of my car with golf balls because they make a pleasant sound bubling around back there when I go around curves.
posted by stubby phillips at 12:44 PM on March 17 [5 favorites]

Dump them down an uphill street during rush hour.
posted by M.C. Lo-Carb! at 12:57 PM on March 17

Roll them under the seats at the movies.
posted by trinity8-director at 1:04 PM on March 17

Learn to use a sling? Instructables video link
posted by bartleby at 1:05 PM on March 17

This link suggests using them in your potted plants like rocks. Or, using them in place of a drain plug in your sink/bathtub.

I say you grab your drill and your benchtop vice, and put holes in a bunch of them so you can string them together. This opens up a great big avenue of choices - golf ball jewelry (two for earrings, and a big string of 'em for a necklace), use some wire to make them into sculptures... er, that's all i got.
posted by lizbunny at 1:05 PM on March 17

Hide them around the house for your wife to find.... also, put a load of them in your toilet cistern. It will cut back your water usage.
posted by Frasermoo at 1:07 PM on March 17

Cannon!
posted by Marky at 1:09 PM on March 17

Draw or paint 100 minature portraits. After they're decorated, give them to 100 friends, make a "un-Christmas tree" with 100 paintings of great scientists and philosophers, put 100 portraits in individual three-dimensional frames and fill up a wall, set them in mortar and make a coffee table top under glass, suspend them between party deck lights as part of the theme, paint letters on them, glue magnets on the back and spell out stuff on your refrigerator, make a chandelier, etc.

Damn, this sounds like fun.
posted by aquafortis at 1:12 PM on March 17

More great examples of golf ball art. I like the dancing elephant rock band series, myself!
posted by aquafortis at 1:27 PM on March 17

A la the Seinfeld The Marine Biologist episode, just hit them all into the ocean. With luck, none will go into a whale's blow hole.
posted by imjustsaying at 1:44 PM on March 17

Im thinking vintage David Letterman fodder, here. Drop em off a high point, at once. (You may need to obtain a permit) Only 100?
posted by captainsohler at 2:13 PM on March 17

Hide them all over a park right before the Easter Egg Hunt.
posted by Beardman at 2:24 PM on March 17 [5 favorites]

try putting them on your bed , trapping them with a sheet, and sleep on them. In the morning you will have had a refreshing and free massage. I have done this with tennis balls and it works .
posted by panini at 2:47 PM on March 17

Golf ball carving.
posted by Marky at 4:39 PM on March 17

You know those "executive desk accessories" where 5 or so balls are hanging from a frame? Make one that's 100 balls long. Odds are, if you film it and put it on youtube, you'll get some good internet traffic. :)
posted by specialnobodie at 11:45 AM on March 18