How do I tell someone that I'm a virgin?
March 15, 2009 3:46 PM Subscribe
How do I tell someone that I have never had sex?
posted by Wrigley to human relations (36 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
Okay, I'm new to this site so I apologize if this has been discussed before and I just missed it in my quick search.
The background: I'm a 23 year old female who has never had actual sex (and no, I'm not counting oral, "almost", or any other expansive definition). I'm defining it in the narrowest of terms - the Bill Clinton way, if you will. To top it off, I haven't really done *anything* with the opposite sex besides the occasional drunken make out in the last four years. Oh, and I can't ask my friends around here for advice, since they all have no idea - and I like it that way.
Before I went to college I was in a very long relationship with an older guy. We did a lot, but I never felt ready to go all the way. The relationship ended shortly before I left for school and I guess I didn't think too much of it at the time - I figured I'd soon be dating again and it wasn't going to matter all that much, since I was only seventeen. Well, needless to say, that didn't exactly work out, and somehow I ended up finishing up school with no meaningful experience to speak of.
Now out in the real world I have a guy that I'm close to and, while nothing has happened yet, it really only seems like a matter of time at this point. But... two things are terrifying me and keeping me up at night:
The first: I worry about my rustiness. Since I'll actually be sober this time around (or at least hope to be) I'm freaked out that I'll be, you know, bad when things do happen and that that will nip anything we have in the bud right there.
The second: I worry that even if it's all like riding a bike and I know what I'm doing, that when it comes time, I'm going to have to tell him that I'm still a virgin. Awkward. I mean, I'm 23 - shouldn't this have happened by now? And, as a girl, it's not like I can really lie about this sort of thing without it be seriously obvious. Again, I'm worried that he'll just decide that it's not worth it... that I'm not worth it, and that'll be the end of that.
I really like this dude. I don't know if I want a relationship with him - I may be leaving my current city in a few short months for graduate school, but I want something to happen and I feel like these worries are holding me back. Please help.