Sub-let for a very particular type of person?
March 13, 2009 12:41 AM Subscribe
NYC-Renter's-filter: How do I advertise my sub-let for a (RIDICULOUSLY-good-deal) apartment share in Chelsea with a very specific list of qualifications?
I had to move to another continent for work recently and left my roommate with about 6 months on our lease, which I am currently still paying for. He and I are both 30y.o. straight males, business professionals but fairly laid back. Our neighborhood (Chelsea) is *very* gay, which we don't mind at all, but neither of us would want a roommate that is - for personal reasons, and as such I'm hesitant to advertise the apartment on Craigslist, et. al.. My former roommate is a good friend and I wouldn't stick him with someone that I wouldn't be comfortable living with.
My question is basically around whether or not I can advertise the place with that kind of discrimination - is it illegal? If so, am I screwed just paying this rent? Its a large apartment and it is not cheap but my work has subsidized some of the rent costs so I am able to offer it at about 2/3rds of the price I am actually paying for it. The ideal sub-lessee would be someone in their late-twenties / early-thirties, no drugs, no overnight visitors. I'm not looking to regulate someone's behavior, this is just an understanding my roommate and I had, which I need to maintain with him given that I walked out on the lease. I'd like for potential sub-lessees seeing the place to already have this understanding rather than my roommate having to feel it out. Any ideas on how to advertise are welcome.
I had to move to another continent for work recently and left my roommate with about 6 months on our lease, which I am currently still paying for. He and I are both 30y.o. straight males, business professionals but fairly laid back. Our neighborhood (Chelsea) is *very* gay, which we don't mind at all, but neither of us would want a roommate that is - for personal reasons, and as such I'm hesitant to advertise the apartment on Craigslist, et. al.. My former roommate is a good friend and I wouldn't stick him with someone that I wouldn't be comfortable living with.
My question is basically around whether or not I can advertise the place with that kind of discrimination - is it illegal? If so, am I screwed just paying this rent? Its a large apartment and it is not cheap but my work has subsidized some of the rent costs so I am able to offer it at about 2/3rds of the price I am actually paying for it. The ideal sub-lessee would be someone in their late-twenties / early-thirties, no drugs, no overnight visitors. I'm not looking to regulate someone's behavior, this is just an understanding my roommate and I had, which I need to maintain with him given that I walked out on the lease. I'd like for potential sub-lessees seeing the place to already have this understanding rather than my roommate having to feel it out. Any ideas on how to advertise are welcome.
This post was deleted for the following reason: poster's request -- jessamyn
No, you can't advertise it that way. You could word of mouth it or post it on a closed bulletin board perhaps, but if the wrong person sees your ad you could be the target of a backlash from gay activist groups, many of whom are going after this sort of thing.
Also, I think that it's morally and ethically wrong, but that's just my personal opinion.
Refer to the comment you made that I linked in my profile ;)
or, to put it another way, the kind thing to do to respect both your roomate and your neighbourhood (a community in its own right!) is to pay the rent until your roomate can find a roomate of his preferences himself.
posted by By The Grace of God at 1:32 AM on March 13, 2009
Also, I think that it's morally and ethically wrong, but that's just my personal opinion.
Refer to the comment you made that I linked in my profile ;)
or, to put it another way, the kind thing to do to respect both your roomate and your neighbourhood (a community in its own right!) is to pay the rent until your roomate can find a roomate of his preferences himself.
posted by By The Grace of God at 1:32 AM on March 13, 2009
Do you mean you don't want a gay guy in there even if he can't have amorous visitors at any time? Meaning, he can't even identify as gay, inside or outside the apartment?
Is it important to you (and/or the roommate) that the replacement not "act" gay, or that he never has sex with men, or she never has sex with women?
The former you can kind of screen for during a phone pre-interview -- you can choose to decide on a roommate based on anything from shoe style to armpit smell to toast preferences to porn preferences. Ask him if he's dating anyone.
How you regulate the latter, I dunno, ask the army - they seem to have it totally figured out with Don't Ask, Don't Tell. I'm not being snarky -- you'll absolutely, positively, never know if this guy is barebacking at the baths or swooning the West Village hunks in his free time or she is loving the dykes in Brooklyn. If those words squick you out, just bite the rent and forget about trying to weed out us homos.
But the obvious ways of making sure: does he have a longterm girlfriend/fiance? Maybe he's just in town for work and has left his doe-eyed sweetie at home? Or maybe she is older and divorced and just moving to the city? Why not just ask them straight-out? (Pun intended)
You see the problem here, right? You don't want to regulate behavior but yeah, you kinda do. Cheap rent = guy must like women, no overnight visitors, no drama. Just put that in Craigslist until you get flagged and I'm sure you'll get a pile of responses and tons of good karma, too.
posted by barnone at 1:35 AM on March 13, 2009
Is it important to you (and/or the roommate) that the replacement not "act" gay, or that he never has sex with men, or she never has sex with women?
The former you can kind of screen for during a phone pre-interview -- you can choose to decide on a roommate based on anything from shoe style to armpit smell to toast preferences to porn preferences. Ask him if he's dating anyone.
How you regulate the latter, I dunno, ask the army - they seem to have it totally figured out with Don't Ask, Don't Tell. I'm not being snarky -- you'll absolutely, positively, never know if this guy is barebacking at the baths or swooning the West Village hunks in his free time or she is loving the dykes in Brooklyn. If those words squick you out, just bite the rent and forget about trying to weed out us homos.
But the obvious ways of making sure: does he have a longterm girlfriend/fiance? Maybe he's just in town for work and has left his doe-eyed sweetie at home? Or maybe she is older and divorced and just moving to the city? Why not just ask them straight-out? (Pun intended)
You see the problem here, right? You don't want to regulate behavior but yeah, you kinda do. Cheap rent = guy must like women, no overnight visitors, no drama. Just put that in Craigslist until you get flagged and I'm sure you'll get a pile of responses and tons of good karma, too.
posted by barnone at 1:35 AM on March 13, 2009
I forgot to mention: you can advertise through church or religious listservs too. Put "christian man" or "lives by the word of god" on there or whatever the code is. That might get you closer to what you're looking for, but again, it's really no guarantee.
Basically: find a way to target the audience you WANT rather than trying to actively screen for those you don't want. That will probably be easier, but you'll never be certain.
posted by barnone at 1:46 AM on March 13, 2009
Basically: find a way to target the audience you WANT rather than trying to actively screen for those you don't want. That will probably be easier, but you'll never be certain.
posted by barnone at 1:46 AM on March 13, 2009
Response by poster: the kind thing to do to respect both your roomate and your neighbourhood (a community in its own right!) is to pay the rent until your roomate can find a roomate of his preferences himself.
In case it wasn't clear in the OP, that is what I am currently doing, but so far we haven't had many prospects.
posted by allkindsoftime at 1:48 AM on March 13, 2009
In case it wasn't clear in the OP, that is what I am currently doing, but so far we haven't had many prospects.
posted by allkindsoftime at 1:48 AM on March 13, 2009
No, you can't be that brazen in a rental/housing listing. There was an article in the New York Post about this just yesterday, actually. More info on the Fair Housing Act it references (which is where Craigslist's guidelines are coming from) here.
I don't understand why sexual preference needs to be stated in the ad when that ground can already be covered during phone interviews/walk-throughs with sublet candidates. One imagines enough information regarding that would come out when you or your roommate mentions your no-overnight-guests policy.
Additionally, that policy (no guests) is possibly illegal in itself. The apartment is their living space once everything is signed, and the subtenant has the same rights to privacy that you and your roommate do. As long as your subletter's actions aren't in violation of the lease (like drug use would be) then you can't reasonably break the rental agreement. You can, of course, ask possible subletters to respect it as a house rule, but I don't think you can enforce it. (I have a hard time imagining an adult putting up with such a rule, anyway.)
posted by greenland at 2:26 AM on March 13, 2009
I don't understand why sexual preference needs to be stated in the ad when that ground can already be covered during phone interviews/walk-throughs with sublet candidates. One imagines enough information regarding that would come out when you or your roommate mentions your no-overnight-guests policy.
Additionally, that policy (no guests) is possibly illegal in itself. The apartment is their living space once everything is signed, and the subtenant has the same rights to privacy that you and your roommate do. As long as your subletter's actions aren't in violation of the lease (like drug use would be) then you can't reasonably break the rental agreement. You can, of course, ask possible subletters to respect it as a house rule, but I don't think you can enforce it. (I have a hard time imagining an adult putting up with such a rule, anyway.)
posted by greenland at 2:26 AM on March 13, 2009
Just to be clear, you are aware that this makes you and your roommate bigots, right? I don't really know that it is our place to help you and your roommate find ways to skirt important anti-discrimination laws.
posted by kevin-o at 4:34 AM on March 13, 2009 [4 favorites]
posted by kevin-o at 4:34 AM on March 13, 2009 [4 favorites]
If so, am I screwed just paying this rent?
Yeah. There are consequences to discrimination and/or plain selfishness. Geez, even the straight guy can't have overnight visitors! So you basically want a robot that works and sleeps there, with no dating life. Bonne chance!
posted by gramcracker at 4:52 AM on March 13, 2009
Yeah. There are consequences to discrimination and/or plain selfishness. Geez, even the straight guy can't have overnight visitors! So you basically want a robot that works and sleeps there, with no dating life. Bonne chance!
posted by gramcracker at 4:52 AM on March 13, 2009
If so, am I screwed just paying this rent?
Yes.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 5:20 AM on March 13, 2009
Yes.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 5:20 AM on March 13, 2009
I'm with barnone that you should also advertise in outlets where people share your values. In your ad you should describe the kind of people you are -- really conservative; that might filter out people you don't want, and you can filter the rest out in the interview. But, honestly, I don't know if you're going to be able to find a single person in their late 20s/early 30s who doesn't date. Would you be ok with a woman living there regardless of sexual orientation? Because that might be the only way to advertise that you don't want a gay man. Do you have gay friends? I just can't believe that that would be a criteria for roommates in this day and age in New York City of all places.
posted by bluefly at 6:07 AM on March 13, 2009
posted by bluefly at 6:07 AM on March 13, 2009
You do interviews, at which point you can choose / not choose based on any criteria you like. But yeah - if it's a stipulation you care about, you're going to have to be comfortable making it face to face.
posted by puckish at 6:11 AM on March 13, 2009
posted by puckish at 6:11 AM on March 13, 2009
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by equalpants at 1:02 AM on March 13, 2009