Send Funny Card to Friend With Heart Condition?

March 12, 2009 11:27 PM

Will I kill my buddy (in hospital with a large aorta aneurysm) by sending him an amusing card?

I'm afraid this question will expose a really deep, horrendous personality flaw in myself, but here goes. A friend lies critically ill in a hospital in Madrid. He had an aorta aneurysm, and due to its size, he could not be operated on. Doctors thought he would not make it, but his body reacted with a huge hematoma which allowed him to overcome the problem (last week). That's all I know, and I don't really understand any of it. Doctors have refused him visitors, because he must not get emotional and stress his heart in any way.

I've thought of a very funny bon mott to send along on a card with a huge basket of flowers. I won't type it in cuz it's something only he'd "get". It will make him chuckle. And, if I weren't a total jerk, that would completely remove the idea from my consideration. But my go-to instinct at touchy moments is always to brighten mood via humor. And I'm so distraught at his situation, I want to give him "my best"....and he's the kind of person who loves to laugh. And it's really a great line.

I'm sure he's feeling too crappy to start guffawing and chewing the carpet. But it'll definitely get a chuckle. Is there anyone who understands his heart situation well enough to tell me that even a chuckle would be too much? Every cell in my body wants to send him the funny card, 'cuz I feel he'd really dig it and be brightened by it....if it doesn't kill him. So are there any medical people out there who are quite sure it wouldn't kill him (in the biological sense rather than the comedic sense)? Otherwise, I'll (sigh) err on the side of caution and not take the chance.

Also say a quick prayer (or secular expression of hope) if you would. He's awesome....and way too young for any of this.

posted by jimmyjimjim to health & fitness (9 comments total)

Well, it seems your friend already has some doctors, and they're telling visitors to fuck off. So now you're asking the internet for a second opinion. Come on now.

Wait until he's well enough to see visitors. Then you can tell your joke in person.
posted by ryanrs at 1:00 AM on March 13

Don't do it.

Let's look at risk and reward here. If you "win", he laughs. If you "lose", he dies. Not a very good bargain, if you ask me.

Write your joke down, and tell it to him after he's better.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 1:01 AM on March 13 [1 favorite]

It's not a personality flaw! I love people who make me laugh when I'm sick, and I know I'm not alone.

Here's what I would do. Write the card and seal it in an envelope. Put it in another card that says something heartfelt but relatively neutral like: "I'm thinking of you and I want you to get better soon. When the doctors say you can have a chuckle, open the enclosed card."
posted by carmen at 2:08 AM on March 13 [9 favorites]

So are there any medical people out there who are quite sure it wouldn't kill him

You will never find a medical person out there who will say they are quite sure that X thing will not do Y to Z person without knowing a hell of a lot more about X, Y, and Z.
posted by gramcracker at 4:59 AM on March 13

Seconding Chocolate Pickle.

Risk vs. reward isn't worth it. Hold off on the joke(s); when your friend gets better, begin or end the joke by tell him that you were waiting because you didn't want to kill him -- it may make the joke even funnier.
posted by Simon Barclay at 7:18 AM on March 13

Chocolate Pickle....that's what I was looking for, thanks.

Everyone else: I heartily agree.
posted by jimmyjimjim at 9:05 AM on March 13

I have a serious heart problem. I'm on the transplant list. I don't think there's anything wrong with your idea , but putting the card in a envelope with a bit of a warning sounds reasonable.
If I'm gonna die in a hospital, I want to die laughing.
posted by pentagoet at 9:10 AM on March 13

pentagoet, I'm with you. It's not just my heedless id doing the thinking here...I, too, would deem it a good way to go.

Please don't die in a hospital, though. Please get better and do lots more laughing.
posted by jimmyjimjim at 9:14 AM on March 13

From a doctor:

Laughing does not raise the blood pressure or heart rate significantly.
posted by jimmyjimjim at 1:11 PM on March 13