Kludges for the common man

March 4, 2009 9:03 AM

What accommodations have you made for not-quite-fully-functional gadgetry?

You know the kind of thing I’m talking about: that microwave door you open with a tuning fork, or the childhood TV you had to whack with a shoe every thirty seconds to keep the picture coming in clear. Or the cellphone that’s sort of cracked in half but works just fine as long as you remember to squeeze it together whenever you make a call. Something you own is broken, but not completely. Not if you’re willing to accommodate its idiosyncracies. And maybe, in the end, you spend far more time pandering to, say, your half-baked toaster oven than you would have spent replacing the damn thing. (But you just can’t bring yourself to go without.)

I’m writing an essay and I’m looking for stories about these kinds of accommodations. Are you codependent with your clothes dryer? Inappropriately invested in your coffeepot? Did you stay in a relationship with your GPS for far too long? What kept you from breaking up? Was it the cost? Sentimental value? Laziness? A sense of obstinate thrift, even if you could afford to replace it? Eco-considerations? A desire to thwart a manufacturer that won’t make repairs, because they want to force you to upgrade? Tell me!

The New York Times had a recent article about low-tech fixes for high-tech problems. These are great, but not quite what I’m looking for: I want stories about ongoing accommodations to the slightly-broken, rather than one-time DIY fixes.

Alternately, if you’ve got links to articles or studies about technological dependence or planned obsolescence (I’ve seen this post), hit me up—and thanks!

posted by collectallfour to technology (27 comments total)

I had a door where the lock bolt didn't quite line up properly with the strikeplate—I had to hike up on the door handle, and even then it took a lot of force to turn the knob. Eventually this repeated forcing broke the lock so that the knob wouldn't move the bolt (the lock turned out to have some alarmingly flimsy parts inside) and I was forced to do something about it.

Bought a new lock and strikeplate and chiseled away the recess for the strikeplate so it would line up correctly. The whole thing cost me about $30 and an hour's work, and it had been bugging me and my wife for over a year. I felt pretty dumb. There was no reason not to have dealt with it sooner.
posted by adamrice at 9:24 AM on March 4, 2009

I had a similar situation to adamrice, except it's always been with the bolt for the main doorknob. The spring would maintain enough pressure to hold the door shut, but you didn't even have to turn the handle to gently push it back open. Actually, this has been the case with both the bedroom door in my current apartment and my previous apartment.

Also, I used to have a clothes dryer that was missing the knob for the timer, but could be set with a pair or pliers, approximating the time with the knowledge that the arrow on the missing knob generally pointed opposite the flat side of the bolt that was left behind. The clothes washer I had at the time was missing a foot, so it would vibrate and cause a lot of noise during the spin cycle. I was probably too lazy to try to fix it, but really I don't think that even occurred to me. Got both the washer and dryer for free, and manage to sell them for a small profit when I moved into my current place, which has no W/D hookups.
posted by owtytrof at 9:48 AM on March 4, 2009

Did you stay in a relationship with your GPS for far too long?

I still have and use a Garmin StreetPilot III I bought in 2001. One of the first commercial "talking" GPS units. Although it can say things like "in 500 feet, turn right," it can't say things like "in 500 feet, turn right on Elm Street" like newer models do because the software isn't set up to convert street names to speech.

Accomodations I make? Not so much of the "whack it/squeeze it/etc." sort, but I definitely make accomodations to software quirks and limitations. Probably so many that I'm not even conscious of most of them. But I definitely know that just because it's telling me where to go, I can't turn my brain off and follow it blindly. I suppose that's true for all GPS receivers, but probably more so for older models such as mine. One of its favorites is, on a divided highway, "go one mile, then make a U-turn, then go half a mile, then turn right" because it doesn't realize that there's a break in the divider where I need to turn and I can simply turn left there. Also, Garmin still provides annual map updates, but those aren't always frequent enough to keep up with road changes. There's a fairly major road near me that opened up about 8 months ago which isn't on my most recent update. Of course, since I'm familiar with this one I can take it into account, but you can imagine that if I wasn't familiar with the area I'd be going out of my way because the SPIII doesn't know about the new road. Also, the old DST switchover dates are hard-coded into the software (with On/Off/Auto options), so since the new dates took effect I have to manually switch for DST twice a year.

Why do I keep it? A number of reasons. Partly because of "obstinate thrift," as you put it. I'm very much of the "if it ain't broke don't replace it" philosophy. Although I tend to be an early adopter of some technologies, then I'll keep my original model for far longer than most people would. So in 2001 I was one of the first people I knew with a GPS receiver; now it's 2009 and I'm still using the same model, probably a good three times more bulky than current models. Partly because I haven't seen any features in newer models that are absolutely "must haves" for me. (Although if Garmin ever stopped providing map updates for the SPIII, I'd probably break down and buy a new one then.) Partly because I dread the learning curve, no matter how gentle, of a new GPS. I know my SPIII backwards and forwards, and how to get it to do what I want to do. Not to mention the effort of transferring the 800+ waypoints (yes, really) I've built up over the years to a new model (even though my "master file" of the waypoints is on my PC, since the SPIII itself can store a max of 500 user-defined waypoints, so I have to download the appropriate subset to the SPIII for whatever region I'm travelling to).

Separate example: the "2" and "5" buttons on the remote control for the TV in my bedroom don't work. So if I want to watch, say, channel 24, I have to enter 19, then press the "channel up" button 5 times. This one is purely laziness: I'm sure it wouldn't be too difficult to find a replacement remote, but I've never bothered.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 9:54 AM on March 4, 2009

I have a digital watch I've worn for years, and it's starting to show its age -- the markings have faded somewhat, the loop that holds the leftover wristband has broken off, and one of the LED elements has failed, making the times XX:01 and XX:07 indistinguishable. (And despite the fact that this should only be an issue 20% of the time, its seems to crop up all the time. Confirmation bias!)

Anyway, I've grown so use to its feel, its display, and its operation that I just can't toss it out, even with all these problems. I've even gone as far as seeking out the original manufacturer to see if I can find another one, but they appear to have discontinued it.
posted by Rhaomi at 10:08 AM on March 4, 2009

My 1989 Jeep Cherokee has an electrical issue that causes the battery to drain if it not driven at least once a day. I could likely sort out the electrical problem, but I can't be bothered, so I have the positive battery cable loose enough that I can pull it off every time I turn off the car.

Yes, literally every time I stop somewhere, I pop the hood and remove the battery cable.

This is made easier because the hood release latch cable has broken, so I have modified the latches so they never fully close - the hood stays on the secondary latch at all times.

In the same vehicle, the passenger side window crank snapped off, so I have to pop my window crank off and hand it to the passenger if they want to roll their window down.

In a previous vehicle, the fuel lines on the top of the fuel tank became corroded, so I bungee corded one of those red plastic fuel cans in the bed and ran new fuel lines to that. Very low fuel capacity, but if I ran out I just had to unstrap my tank and walk to the nearest gas station.

Can you tell that I'm not into spending more than absolutely necessary on vehicles?
posted by davey_darling at 10:09 AM on March 4, 2009

My clothes dryer resists all attempts to fix its shut off timer and thus whirls its load around until someone manually turns it off. We once called in a repairman who fixed it but the timer stopped working again about a year later. My SO occasionally takes a stab at fixing it but just ends up leaving books on appliance repair and random parts scattered around the laundry room. I haven't replaced the dryer because it fulfills its primary function of getting clothing dry just fine and it doesn't feel worth the effort or expense to replace a huge box of metal that only has one non-mission critical thing wrong with it. I use a $2 kitchen timer, instead.

Our other broken appliance is our TV. I bought this TV new in 1985 as a gift for myself. For the past 20-some years I've coveted the bigger, fancier and flatter TVs that have come along but stuck w/ my old TV because "the color is still good." Around the beginning of this year, the color went bad and my TV no longer displays blue yet I'm loathe to replace it "because we can still see an image." Heh. I'm driving my SO nuts with this, but at this point it's turned into an unexplainable desire to wring every last cent of viewing value out of this TV even though I know a flatscreen replacement would use less power and look infinitely better. I suspect we'll be watching this TV until it goes completely black.
posted by jamaro at 10:12 AM on March 4, 2009

The starter motor on my 10 year old Austin Maestro car used to stick all of the time. As I couldn't afford a repair, never mind a new car, I used to carry a hammer in the car with me. If the motor stuck, I would pop the bonnet and give it a few whacks, and away we would go.
posted by Jakey at 10:51 AM on March 4, 2009

A good friend of mine had an old Cutlass Supreme with a loose connection somewhere near the radio. This almost worked like a toggle switch: big bump in the road, stereo switched off. Next big bump, stereo switched back on.

He'd "fix" it by banging on the dashboard until the stereo did what he wanted.

In the same car, the only way to connect the iPod to the stereo was via an old-school cassette adapter, and the cassette player also had something loose inside. He'd fix that by jamming a pen in next to the cassette, to hold it in place.

I miss that car.
posted by lillygog at 10:52 AM on March 4, 2009

When the starter went out on my 1969 Fiat 850 red Italian convertible roadster I ended up learning to bash the starter with a hammer, then I learned to push start it like mad (it was light, you could do that yourself, but somewhat embarassing when you have a hot girl in the car). Later on I was shifting with a pair of vice grips on the clutch cable that broke. Rewired the whole car. Then the brake pedal actually broke off, took me days to find a motorcycle shop that would weld the parts back together. Still sort of love that car... low to the ground and handled like mad.

I beat my microwave. Sometimes it won't work, a swift bash against the side makes it work. I'll probably throw it out and get a new one when the 'smack' doesn't work.

Research wise... there was a story in the old "Jargon File" about a server that had an "X" in black tape that you were supposed to kick when it wouldn't boot. And a story about The Magic Switch. And tons of old stories about the first rule of fixing a computer is picking it up and dropping it a couple of feet to reseat chips on the motherboard... (no longer works)
posted by zengargoyle at 10:53 AM on March 4, 2009

Oh, and it might not be obvious, but he never replaced the car (or even the car stereo) because it was expensive. And an engineer, so I think he had this idea that he'd engineer his way out of the problem. Via whatever was laying around the car, like a pen.
posted by lillygog at 10:55 AM on March 4, 2009

This is my life, much to the dismay of my ultra-tech-savvy significant other. As a result, I fear most of my electronics will not make the cut when we move in together soon. Here are some examples (I'm sure he can think of tons more):

1) My hand-me-down TV switches into black and white if I change the channel too often, though in 4 years I have yet to figure out the safe channel-changing threshold. I interpret it as a sign to sparingly watch TV (or at least carefully prioritize channels while channel-surfing).

2) The display on my microwave doesn't work, so I operate that device with some element of mystery. It was a hand-me-down from my mother, who couldn't handle that level of ambiguity, and my mom received it from her sister, who thought we would all die of cancer due to my mom's continued use of the gigantic 20+ year old microwave (which had a working display).

3) The eject button on my $20 DVD player broke recently (I think I zapped it with static electricity from my finger), but as I hacked the machine to play different region DVDs, I'll use the awful remote with quickly dying button cell battery to eject things from here on out.

4) I have a 4 year old Sprint cell phone that I refuse to part with until its very last gasps of life. It has amazing battery life (still) and gets great reception, though it looks like it has been gnawed on by a wild animal.

5) My hand-me-down 1999 Dell PC (with 1997 Gateway 2000 CRT monitor) has been tweaked a bit since my dad purchased it, but I can't bear to sink money into a new computer as long as it continues to boot up (it takes about 10 minutes to do so lately, but I'll work that out). I work in IT, which is ironic, but I see how quickly things become obsolete, so there's very little appeal in buying a new PC (or anything, really) that will promptly be end-of-lifed. If only my TV worked as well as my monitor does...

6) I mourned the CD-skipping death of my 1994 Sony boombox last year and replaced it with a not much newer Sony CD/double cassette/digital radio tuner boombox salvaged from my parents' basement. It's not the same, but it will do.

7) I lost a little 8-year-old Timex travel alarm clock in a move and tried to adapt to a few new ones, but I missed the old one so much I hunted down and bought the last remaining version available on Ebay. Best $11 (re)spent ever.

"Breaking up" is really a fitting descriptor for these things -- I've had them so long, I can't imagine replacing them with something else and starting a cycle of replacing things again and again. I'm also super cheap when it comes to consumer electronics, obviously. So I guess I'm eternally waiting for a hand-me-down offer I can't refuse :-).
posted by Maarika at 11:06 AM on March 4, 2009

These are terrific. Thanks, everybody--keep 'em coming!
posted by collectallfour at 11:28 AM on March 4, 2009

I have an external JetDirect print server that at one point broke where the power supply meets the motherboard. Then the power cord was lost. Rather than buy a replacement I opened the thing and soldered a replacement adapter directly to the motherboard. Just poked it with the stripped power cord wires until I figured out which two metal prongs were the right ones, then soldered them in place. Still using it.

Our old car... that's your story in itself, it seems, much like many of the other poor vehicles listed above. Drove that 84 LTD for at least 8 years. At half a tank the gas gauge dropped to zero, so we religiously reset the trip meter at each fill-up and never let it go above 150 miles before a refill. (We still reset the trip meter in our current car when gassing up, just out of habit...) One door handle in the back seat didn't work at all, so that one was opened from the outside if any backseat passengers were present. Passenger side, front seat could be opened if you held the handle just right. We did it automatically, but anyone new in the car had to be told what to do if they wanted out. Horn worked, but only if you hit it really hard, and doing so invariably caused the rubber cover in the center of the steering column to drop off into your lap, so every angry honk at another driver necessitated a few seconds fumbling that damn thing back into place. The car didn't idle well, so 90% of the time we had to work the brake like a clutch to keep it running when at stoplights. And to top it all off the tie rods were bad, so you had to wrestle with the steering wheel to keep it in anything resembling a straight line at highway speed.

It did come in handy though, after we'd sold the car to my brother-in-law. Some kids stole it and took it for a joyride. My father-in-law (retired police officer and former Marine) saw the kids who took it. He followed them in his car. When they realized he was following, they floored the thing. It promptly started to wobble, badly, causing them to swerve off the road into a field, where the car ran out of gas. My father-in-law ran up to the car, trapping one kid in the back seat by standing over the one door that would open while the kid frantically pulled on the other. That poor kid gave up the names of the other two that had escaped from the front seat.
posted by caution live frogs at 11:32 AM on March 4, 2009

My grandfather had a car that wouldn't stay on because the key would rotate back to the "off" position by itself. He fixed it with an enormous wrench hanging from the keychain levered around the end of the key that would apply constant torque to keep it from rotating back off.
posted by odinsdream at 11:33 AM on March 4, 2009

This is the story of my life. I hate getting rid of things that more or less still work. I'm always finicking around with things that sort of but don't quite work. For one thing, I'm poor and then on some level it just offends me to replace things.

My 1998 Saturn hasn't had interior lights for about seven years. That's okay; I find I don't need them. As a bonus, sometimes they just randomly turn on and off while I'm driving and I get all creeped out. This is the same car where the alternator light went on one fine day, stayed on for about two years and then went away as mysteriously as it had appeared - without anything ever, apparently, being wrong with the alternator. That car also can't speed up or climb steeply - I live in the mountains - when the air conditioner is on, so when I'm driving around in the summer I just warn my passengers that there will be no AC today. And no, you can't get in the backseat right side because the handle just fell off out of the blue last month; I'm waiting for my freaky handyman friend to replace it with a glass doorknob. I love my car: creaks, bangs, wrinkles and all.

The dog ate the TV remote three years ago. It's one of those TV/DVD player combos, so there's no remote at all, for TV or for movies. We tried some universal remotes but they never work right and then they break quickly, so eventually we gave up and went remoteless. The TV works just fine if you use the buttons as long as you remember that sometimes the volume button will change the channel - push it gently. No, sort of to the right a little. Yeah, that screwed up the movie. You'll have to start over now. There are only three DVD player buttons on there - Play, Stop and Skip. We can never can't watch anything with a complicated menu and skipping ahead is iffy at best and at worst takes you into some strange DVD hinterland. It's particularly a bummer with TV shows on DVD since all you can do is hit play all and settle in for the long haul but we manage somehow. I am damned if I'm buying a new TV - TV is evil anyway and besides, this one is only about five years old.

My cell phone is three years old and has never worked properly. However, I apparently sold my soul to Sprint at some point a few years so I can't switch and I'm waiting for them to a) come out with a decent phone and b) enough time to pass where I get a really good deal on that decent phone. Therefore, when the screen goes white, I have learned to turn the damn thing off for five minutes and turn it on again. Sometimes it takes longer. Sometimes it doesn't get calls. Often it doesn't get messages. I secretly don't mind this because I hate phones and voice mail so I just tell everyone my phone is unreliable and they will have to keep trying.

I'm sure there are more. I think my whole life is made up of stuff like this - do the towels around the water heater where it leaks count?
posted by mygothlaundry at 11:44 AM on March 4, 2009

The lock of my front door requires our keys to be pulled out slightly before they'll turn. My brand new laptop requires me to fucking hold the plug a certain way for it to charge. I need to get it fixed before the warranty expires.
posted by majikstreet at 12:19 PM on March 4, 2009

When we moved into our house in 2005 there were doorknobs and doors, but the doorknobs were in a cupboard. But the doors in question had holes in them, so it was just a question of sticking your finger in the hole and hooking the door open.

Lived with that for about 2 years. One day, my friend was following me into the kitchen so she could go outside to smoke. I flicked the door open, walked through and was opening the back door when I heard a plaintive cry... couldn't see how to open the door.

We fixed the knobs on. And kept banging our hands on them when we went to open the door the old way.

Oh and our washing machine won't start unless you knee the door in a particular way/place.

And I am another cell phone refuser - my last one, the middle set of buttons stopped working for texting half the time - so I just got creative - and the central "nipple" button for navigating menus often as not wouldn't go up, so I just pressed down down down till it cycled round to where I wanted to be...

Do those help?
posted by LyzzyBee at 12:24 PM on March 4, 2009

I had a motorcycle with a iffy starter. I just carried around a small wrench in my motorcycle jacket and tapped the starter when necessary. Never did get it fixed, gave the wrench away with the bike free when I sold it. Also I find that the back of my tv remotes always fall off because i have a habit of fiddling with them and then they break. . I just use a hair elastic to keep it in place.
posted by captaincrouton at 12:28 PM on March 4, 2009

- The coin slot at the laundromat you had to smack to get coins to go through.
- The vending machine at work you had to shake to try to get the partially dislodged bag of chips out.
- The stuck lock mechanism on my Jeep that wouldn't latch closed so driving with a bungee cord or holding it to keep it from swinging-open on turns. I did fix that after a while.
- The toilet at my old place which started to randomly run, bad gasket, and tapping the float got it to shut-up.
- Improperly adjusted shifters and brakes on bicycles. Not difficult to fix, but just put up with missed shifts and squeaky brakes anyway.
- My old TV which suddenly went green tinted, which was annoying because it was 9/11, but I was glued to the screen anyway. Then it mysteriously fixed itself weeks later and was fine for years.
- The toaster that never got it toasted right, so I'd need to put it down again, but it wasn't designed for manual pop-up so it would have to be forced.
posted by hungrysquirrels at 12:40 PM on March 4, 2009

The timer on my washing machine pauses at the end of the first rinse cycle, so I have to babysit my laundry to assist it past that point.

My headphones (expensive Grado's) connector plug has a loose connection which requires me to hold it a certain way in order to listen to them. I have a replacement connector ready to install, it's just easier to hold the cord.

Last year the reverse gear went out in my car, so I would only park in spots where I could pull through to where my car was facing out in the spot - did that for a good six months or so.

I have a TV (which has since died) that would only work with a stout slap (or two) on the side once it warmed up.

The handset on my back door will randomly lock itself upon being closed. After being locked out one fine morning while taking a pee in the altogether I broke down and bought a locking hide-a-key unit so I could get back in without traipsing around the yard naked.
posted by torquemaniac at 12:43 PM on March 4, 2009

I had a TV where the speaker was busted, and it had no outputs for sound. Mostly, I just used it with my xbox, since I could run the audio from that to my stereo.

One time I had people over for poker while a baseball playoff game was on. Lacking anyway to hear the game, we tuned the radio to the AM station doing a live broadcast. It got rather disconcerting, though, because we would hear the announcer say "strike 1!" just as the pitcher started to wind up.

I bought a new TV the next week.
posted by chrisamiller at 1:03 PM on March 4, 2009

Oh, geez, do I ever. Just last weekend, I gave my parents their first non-triple-image tv picture in my lifetime. (I'm 29.) Thank heavens for the digital transition; they still have a dual-knob TV in my dad's man-cave. It's only been a few years since they've kept the knob of the other dual-knob tv in place with two screwdrivers wedged between the dial and the plate.

Over the years, I'm sure that way more money got spent on "making do" than simply replacing something. The prime example of this was the dryer. The settings knob came off it many years ago, as did the handle for the lint filter (you pulled it out of the top), so we always had several sets of needlenose pliers hanging out on top. Of course, nobody was really sure how to make the dryer do what you needed, but it became marginally more clear when, attempting to help a housesitter, my mom took a Sharpie and drew a diagram on the top to show how you turned the nub to look like an uppercase D and hopefully your clothes would be dry in, you know, a while.

The antique heat registers are all held open with Matchbox cars and broken rulers. My mom is quite enamored with the novelty of the situation and insists on replacing any missing Matchbox cars with other Matchbox cars.

And then there was my ex-husband's Plymouth Horizon.

He got it for free from an officemate; at the time, it was 12 years old. Even then, it required battery disconnection and reconnection every time you wanted to go somewhere. Oh, and the front passenger door only opened from the inside. Oh, and the driver's door, in addition to having the word "fuck" scratched and rusted in, only opened from the outside. It was missing a back bumper and the emergency brake, and when I accidentally parked on an incline one night I had to let it gently roll up against the car in front of it in hopes that we'd both be staying long enough to fend off disaster.

By the time we thought about trading up, the other doors had given way as well. The driver's door didn't even have an outer handle; he'd accidentally pulled it off. To use the car, one had to climb through the rear driver's door, pop the hood, climb out through the front passenger door (while leaving it open to get back in), reconnect the battery, climb back in through the passenger door and pray that you wouldn't get picked up by the cops for driving such a wreck. Luckily, it only happened once.

When we finally bought an eight-year-old Civic, we traded in the Horizon for $25. That included the new tires.
posted by Madamina at 5:11 PM on March 4, 2009

These are exactly the kinds of stories I'm looking for. No best answer marked because they're all great. Many thanks to everyone who's taken the time to post. I'll be continuing to track this thread, so anyone who wants to add their own story, please do. Thank you all again!
posted by collectallfour at 6:20 PM on March 4, 2009

Until recently I had an old ipod that had an extremely limited battery life, so I would only listen to files that were at least an hour long (audiobooks mostly). This would allow the battery to last the two hours a day I MUST have for commuting, listening to regular music would kill it too quickly.
posted by eclecticlibrary at 10:25 PM on March 4, 2009

My story may not be what you're looking for because I've traded new technology for old. I used to bring vintage fountain pens to uni instead of ballpoints. Fountain pens will often leak if shaken which is very inconvenient since I usually find myself running for the bus and then from the bus to uni.

My solution was to use my arms as a suspension system, holding my shoulder bag in the air and away from my body. I also tried running in a way that would minimise the vertical movement of my body. All of this was very awkward, stupid looking and I missed the bus a few times.

I was willing to put up with this for a while because I found the fountain pens aesthetically pleasing and also nicer to write with. To be honest, I also wanted to mark myself out as an individual toting expensive and obscure stationery. After a while I realised this was kinda stupid and I didn't use the pens enough to warrant all the trouble.
posted by quosimosaur at 3:17 AM on March 5, 2009 [1 favorite]

My garage door remote does fit well around the new fatter 9 volt batteries and does not make electrical contact unless you squeeze it around the battery while pressing the button.

One of my pair of matching computer monitors started losing the green electron gun, but the others worked, so I lived with it for a couple of years until I finally replaced both of them with an obscenely large LCD.
posted by _Skull_ at 7:20 AM on March 5, 2009

... does not fit well ...
posted by _Skull_ at 7:21 AM on March 5, 2009