What can I buy my friend who is having twins?

March 2, 2009 6:22 AM

My friend is having twins. What can I buy her that would be very practical (yet not completely generic or impersonal)?

My friend who lives out of state is due with twin boys in a couple of months, and I'd like to order something to make her post-delivery life a little easier. Do you know of any services that will ship prepared foods?

Another thought: she'll obviously need unimaginable quantities of baby care supplies and diapers. She did got a mother lode of stuff at her shower, but that just scratches the surface of all that's going to need. Would giving her an Amazon gift certificate be too impersonal? She and her partner are not particularly strapped for cash, and I'm not a huge fan of gift certificates generally, but I could probably be talked into the idea.

I'm leaning toward the food idea, since it's something she can use immediately, and it seems like a friendlier gesture. But I'd be interested to hear what you all think. Thanks, guys.

posted by cymru_j to shopping (16 comments total)

Just happened to have seen this - looks very cool and practical.
posted by watercarrier at 6:46 AM on March 2

A family member of mine recently had twin boys. I stayed with them for a couple weeks to help and these were the things I saw that no one had really considered beforehand.

How much help does your friend have already lined up? If she does not have a lot of help in the picture, then I would recommend sending her a gift certificate for a maid service. The first 8-10 weeks of her life are going to be focused on (in this order) 1. feeding the babies 2. changing the babies 3. getting the babies to sleep 4. preparing and purchasing formula/washing bottles 5. feeding herself and other family members. 6. bathing herself 7. doing the babies' laundry. 8. Maybe a bit of sleep for herself. And so on.

The idea of a clean house will become a decadent luxury. There are simply always other things that need to get done, and it will be a real challenge to keep up with the house. Depending on where she lives, you can likely get a one-time cleaning service for $75-125.

A pricey gesture but one that would never be forgotten would be the services of a night nurse. Even one night of a night nurse would allow both parents to sleep a full 8 hours -- and with new multiples, there is nothing more appreciated than the gift of sleep.

Does your friend have a dog or dogs? Sadly, as with the housekeeping, the doggies get ignored during the first weeks home. There's just not as much time to play with them and attend to them. A gift certificate for a dog walker who can come by every other day or so and take the pup to the park will alleviate a lot of Mom's guilt.

The issue with these labor needs is that when well-meaning friends and family volunteer to "come help", they often want to come help with the babies. And Mom can handle the babies... what she needs is help with all the other stuff that goes undone while she's taking care of the babies.

As for the food ideas, I would go straight to the Mothers of Multiples club in your friend's town (where she's likely already registered as a member). You can find the local club by going to National Organization of Mothers of Twins Clubs website and entering her zip code on the right. The moms there are experienced and share lots of resources and info to help each other out. You can probably find service recommendations under the "Resources" page at the local site. Or, send an email and ask them who the best food delivery services are in the area -- you'll get pre-vetted information that is specific to the city. (If you don't live in the town, it can be hard to know just from online research as to which ones are the best.)

If you can find a restaurant delivery service, the kind that goes to many different restaurants and brings hot food, that will be a welcome respite to the harried parents -- they can order stuff they really like from one of their favorite places, as a treat. They'll be sick to death of pizza, Chinese, and all the casseroles that are piling up in the freezer... and a delivered dinner from a favorite resto will feel like "date night in."
posted by pineapple at 6:52 AM on March 2 [8 favorites]

We had twins fifteen months ago. MrsBucket says prepared meals/groceries and/or, if you want to spring for it, a maid service would be perfect.

If there's a Whole Foods nearby, you might be able to get some meals delivered by their catering service.
posted by EarBucket at 6:52 AM on March 2

EarBucket's on the right track. Newborns are hell on you, so twins have to be harder by an order of magnitude. Get them stuff that will help them survive the first three months -- food, offers to clean their house, etc.

Honestly, if they don't have it? Buy them a Netflix subscription for three months. Netflix was my very best friend when we had ours last year.
posted by middleclasstool at 7:02 AM on March 2

Ooo, good advice. And thanks, pineapple, for such a fabulously detailed response. Keep 'em coming!
posted by cymru_j at 7:06 AM on March 2

Depending on how she's handling diapering- a couple of mega boxes of disposable diapers, or a couple months' diaper service, or a bunch of cloth diaper covers and diapers.


Socks- get loads of cute baby socks.


spa gift certificate
posted by hellboundforcheddar at 8:32 AM on March 2

Seconding some of hellbound's suggestions:
- a spa gift certificate. My wife & mother of my twin boys GREATLY appreciated it.
- socks. get 6-9 month old socks, because newborn socks do not stay on.
posted by puritycontrol at 9:00 AM on March 2

Socks? I dunno, we had no need for socks in the first few months as we tended to keep our daughter in zip-up one-piece footed sleepers. And when we did use socks the newborn size were fine, especially since the twins are probably going to be smaller than average.

But we lived on the bounty of our friends' kitchens for the first few weeks and it was awesome. Having a stash of ready-to-heat home-baked casseroles, soups, and stews on hand was an amazing gift. But I like the idea of a maid service too. But if they're using cloth diapers, you could prepay a diaper service for them.
posted by otherwordlyglow at 9:06 AM on March 2

Absoutely agree on the housekeeping. We paid $65 every two weeks until our son was a few months old, and it was a lifesaver! If you could swing a month or two of cleaning, I bet they would be estatic. It's such a relief to be able to use your "free" time to do things like eat, shower, and go to the bathroom! A lot of housekeeping can just be ignored, but you do need clean dishes now and then!

Note that a night nurse will be of very little use to a breastfeeding mother, and women do breastfeed twins! When the babies are tiny, it's not physically possible for a woman to pump enough milk for twins for an 8 hour period. By the time you could pump that much milk, they'd be sleeping for most of the night anyway.
posted by peep at 9:11 AM on March 2

peep said: "Note that a night nurse will be of very little use to a breastfeeding mother, and women do breastfeed twins! When the babies are tiny, it's not physically possible for a woman to pump enough milk for twins for an 8 hour period. By the time you could pump that much milk, they'd be sleeping for most of the night anyway."

This might be worth double-checking with the mother in question. The twin mom in my family was indeed breastfeeding and was able to pump enough milk for a full overnight because of the schedule and the quantities that the particular twins (premature) could take overnight. I'm sure it's likely a YMMV situation.
posted by pineapple at 9:28 AM on March 2

Yeah, don't worry about socks for a newborn. It's all sleep sacks and jammies and whatnot for a while. We made the mistake of buying tons of newborn clothes that we literally never touched.

Case or two of diapers from Amazon?
posted by middleclasstool at 9:29 AM on March 2

Nthing to infinity the maid service. With new babies, you have people coming to see you all the time. It's hard enough to shower and dress and take care of the baby! Having someone clean my toilets, mop my floors, and dust was heaven.

My church offers six weeks of meals, delivered every other day, to new moms. Loved this. Does your friend already have support like this? If not, see if there is an assemble-your-own place in town like My Girlfriend's Kitchen or Super Suppers. They'll make and deliver meals for an extra fee (usually $20 here in Atlanta).

A cheap but fun gift: buy some plain white onesies and some cute iron-on appliques at any fabric/sewing shop -- I did this with my niece. Cherries, stars, etc look great against white! It takes about 1 minute to do this but looks adorable.
posted by mdiskin at 9:57 AM on March 2

Never underestimate the power of a gift certificate for food that can be delivered directly to the house. Pizza, Chinese, etc.

When you're dead tired after a full day of parenting, and you just can't bring yourself to set foot in the kitchen, having a pre-paid option is greatly appreciated.
posted by Wild_Eep at 10:11 AM on March 2

We had twin girls 6 weeks ago, and I agree with those above who say housekeeping and meals. In Canada, we have a store called M&M Meats that has a ton of ready made frozen meals, designed to be cooked from frozen if necessary. If there is a store like that in the states, perhaps a gift certificate? In our case, we appreciated gift certificates to Babies 'r Us so we could buy two swings, two bouncy chairs, etc. (NB: getting two swings is a luxury and totally worth it.) I also really loved getting a large gift certificate to a yuppie baby store in town so I could indulge on overpriced baby clothes...the Mexx baby stuff is so lovely.

For us, we didn't appreciate getting diapers because each brand fits differently and we chose to use a diaper service instead, so the disposables are going unused. That being said, we bought a case of wipes from Costco and have really enjoyed having them around. They are also not age specific. Pampers sensitive is a good brand. Also, we don't enjoy receiving clothes as many of them don't suit our tastes...if you do buy clothes, include a gift receipt.

Our favourite presents: 100 bar towels for spit up and unimagineable messes, and receiving blankets made from flannel from a fabric store: 1 yard squared. They are perfect for swaddling and covering the change pad.

Finally, a gift for mom and dad is also thoughtful. She will need nursing tops, so a gift certificate to a designer maternity store would be deluxe. He might appreciate a case of microbrewery beer or a nice bottle of scotch.
posted by ms.v. at 11:03 AM on March 2

I bought my friend who had a little girl this fall a really nice changing pad from this shop. Just a suggestion for something really cute that you can never have enough of.

She already had one but was grateful to have another as, y'know, they get poop on them. They go right in the wash, but when you're running around all the time, it's bound to happen that your changing pad is going through the dryer when you need to leave the house.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 2:28 PM on March 2

I have seven-month-old twins. Maid service is a great idea. Also, Amazon gift certificates are useful - I've gotten great prices on bulk quantity diapers and formula through Amazon, plus the free shipping is a help. Also, Babies R Us gift cards are always welcomed.
posted by candyland at 2:50 PM on March 2