Trying to import a boyfriend?
March 1, 2009 3:17 AM Subscribe
Importing a boyfriend to the U.S. without getting married?
Yes, I have acquired a boyfriend while abroad and soon I will go back to the U.S. where I have a job. We will have only been together 6 months or so when I leave. I guess we could do things long distance, but neither of us have high powered careers so it would be very hard to fly to see each other. He's a Finnish citizen and I'm American. He would like to follow me, but the only options seem pretty serious: the fiance and the marriage visas. In the Nordic countries they offer a visa option for live-in partners, but I'm thinking that's not an option in the conservative U.S. I doubt he could get a job easily in the U.S. from here, but we are willing to look into work programs. He is graduating with a masters soon. My job is close to the Canadian border and I could commute. I'm interested in anything...the possible repercussions of getting married just to get him in, Canada's options, how long he could visit, etc.
Yes, I have acquired a boyfriend while abroad and soon I will go back to the U.S. where I have a job. We will have only been together 6 months or so when I leave. I guess we could do things long distance, but neither of us have high powered careers so it would be very hard to fly to see each other. He's a Finnish citizen and I'm American. He would like to follow me, but the only options seem pretty serious: the fiance and the marriage visas. In the Nordic countries they offer a visa option for live-in partners, but I'm thinking that's not an option in the conservative U.S. I doubt he could get a job easily in the U.S. from here, but we are willing to look into work programs. He is graduating with a masters soon. My job is close to the Canadian border and I could commute. I'm interested in anything...the possible repercussions of getting married just to get him in, Canada's options, how long he could visit, etc.
Canada's immigration system certainly was more welcoming when we used it eight years ago, but it's no pushover. Also, from experience, travelling to the US from Canada on a European passport makes you Mr Designated Searched Guy at the border. It gets tiresome. Also, mere mention of "visiting my girlfriend" at the border will arouse suspicion of wanting to overstay.
Have you considered moving to Finland?
(it's a very difficult set of decisions you have here; myself and the ms are a Scottish-American couple living in Canada, and we made the LDR work while in our respective countries. Good luck!)
posted by scruss at 5:23 AM on March 1, 2009
Have you considered moving to Finland?
(it's a very difficult set of decisions you have here; myself and the ms are a Scottish-American couple living in Canada, and we made the LDR work while in our respective countries. Good luck!)
posted by scruss at 5:23 AM on March 1, 2009
The Canadian Immigration website has a lot of information that may help. He can come visit Canada without a visa for six months, however he would not be permitted to work. To apply for a workers permit he needs either a job or a member of select group of professsions. One option for him would be to apply to be a live-in caregiver but that is entirely dependant if he would enjoy the work and get a placement in the border town you want, or if he has the skills, Information Technology. If you are thinking of having him live in Quebec you need to be aware of their separate immigration requirements. (You are free to travel/live anywhere in the country regardless of whether you were accepted by Canadian or Quebec Immigration). If he wants to try to immigrate to Canada under the skilled worker programme (Canadian job offer not always necessary) then he needs to determine his eligibility and points. He also needs to have $10,000 in savings in order to support himself. Good luck!
posted by saucysault at 6:33 AM on March 1, 2009
posted by saucysault at 6:33 AM on March 1, 2009
If you are married for fewer than two years at the time that you/he apply for a green card, it will be conditional on the marriage. That is to say, if you divorce within the following two years, he'll have to go home. Just something to think about.
You have to provide a lot of documentation for a marriage visa, so if you decide to go that route make sure to have some kind of crazy wedding/party so that you can bring in photos for the USCIS!
My ex-husband is Icelandic, and I brought him over to the US with me on a marriage based green card - if you have any more specific questions on that process, MeMail me.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 6:33 AM on March 1, 2009
You have to provide a lot of documentation for a marriage visa, so if you decide to go that route make sure to have some kind of crazy wedding/party so that you can bring in photos for the USCIS!
My ex-husband is Icelandic, and I brought him over to the US with me on a marriage based green card - if you have any more specific questions on that process, MeMail me.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 6:33 AM on March 1, 2009
My job is close to the Canadian border and I could commute.
You mean both of you emigrate to Canada but you keep working in the US? That seems... expensive.
how long he could visit
90 days under VWP but expect some suspicion if he tries to stay that long.
Canada's options
Apply to you: work visas and fiancee visas.
Doesn't apply to you: de-facto marriage visas -- you haven't cohabited long enough, if at all.
possible repercussions of getting married just to get him in
On the immigration side: almost certainly not a problem as long as you guys are a legitimate couple and act like it. USCIS sees lots of people who are getting married well before they might otherwise have gotten married, or who might otherwise have preferred to shack up, because immigration timelines dictate.
On an intermediate side: if you do this, they will expect you to mix up your lives. That means there should exist at least one joint bank account, have one of you on the other's health insurance, stuff like that. Stuff like joint bank accounts can be a nontrivial risk if he turns out to be a cad and/or bounder, but you don't need to put all your money into a joint account.
Biggest tangible downside: if you split up, a divorce can cost a nontrivial amount of money. It would also tend to be more emotionally traumatic than him just moving out.
Things you didn't ask about:
If you do the fiancee process, expect it to take several months and about $1000 to get him in-country, and an indefinite long period and another $1000 or so to get him a green card.
As long as your case isn't complicated (he doesn't have a criminal record), you don't need a lawyer. Visajourney / alt.visa.us.marriage-based has all the advice you need.
That is to say, if you divorce within the following two years, he'll have to go home.
It's more complicated than that and there are good-faith exceptions.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:10 AM on March 1, 2009
You mean both of you emigrate to Canada but you keep working in the US? That seems... expensive.
how long he could visit
90 days under VWP but expect some suspicion if he tries to stay that long.
Canada's options
Apply to you: work visas and fiancee visas.
Doesn't apply to you: de-facto marriage visas -- you haven't cohabited long enough, if at all.
possible repercussions of getting married just to get him in
On the immigration side: almost certainly not a problem as long as you guys are a legitimate couple and act like it. USCIS sees lots of people who are getting married well before they might otherwise have gotten married, or who might otherwise have preferred to shack up, because immigration timelines dictate.
On an intermediate side: if you do this, they will expect you to mix up your lives. That means there should exist at least one joint bank account, have one of you on the other's health insurance, stuff like that. Stuff like joint bank accounts can be a nontrivial risk if he turns out to be a cad and/or bounder, but you don't need to put all your money into a joint account.
Biggest tangible downside: if you split up, a divorce can cost a nontrivial amount of money. It would also tend to be more emotionally traumatic than him just moving out.
Things you didn't ask about:
If you do the fiancee process, expect it to take several months and about $1000 to get him in-country, and an indefinite long period and another $1000 or so to get him a green card.
As long as your case isn't complicated (he doesn't have a criminal record), you don't need a lawyer. Visajourney / alt.visa.us.marriage-based has all the advice you need.
That is to say, if you divorce within the following two years, he'll have to go home.
It's more complicated than that and there are good-faith exceptions.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:10 AM on March 1, 2009
I hate to be the one to throw a wet blanket on the situation, but the psychological repercussions of talking yourself into a marriage before you are ready can be quite damaging. Even if he is sincere about his feelings for you, and he very well may be, you will probably end up doing some mental gymnastics to make yourself believe that a relationship has long-term staying power when it actually may not. Getting married under these conditions and then seeing whether or not it will work out while in the marriage will mess with your mind more than you can imagine.
Add to that the fact that to petition for him as a spouse in the US, you have to sign a form stating that you are legally responsible for supporting him financially for the next 10 years, regardless of what happens to your marriage. This supercedes any kind of prenup you may put in place to protect yourself. It sucks.
I'm in the unbelievably painful and expensive process of extricating myself from this same situation, and of all the mistakes I've made in my life, this one by far takes the cake. We were together for a number of years before we got married, and I was thoroughly fooled into believing that this relationship was the real thing. I'm not saying it can't work, or that you'll end up like I did. But since you asked about possible repercussions (and you likely know what the legal consequences are), I wanted to share with you some of the emotional fallout that you stand the risk of suffering.
posted by Rosalind at 8:41 AM on March 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
Add to that the fact that to petition for him as a spouse in the US, you have to sign a form stating that you are legally responsible for supporting him financially for the next 10 years, regardless of what happens to your marriage. This supercedes any kind of prenup you may put in place to protect yourself. It sucks.
I'm in the unbelievably painful and expensive process of extricating myself from this same situation, and of all the mistakes I've made in my life, this one by far takes the cake. We were together for a number of years before we got married, and I was thoroughly fooled into believing that this relationship was the real thing. I'm not saying it can't work, or that you'll end up like I did. But since you asked about possible repercussions (and you likely know what the legal consequences are), I wanted to share with you some of the emotional fallout that you stand the risk of suffering.
posted by Rosalind at 8:41 AM on March 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
On the flip side of Rosalind's coin, I married somebody after 4 months of knowing him so we could be together in the US. We've been happily married for 3.5 years, and I don't see divorce in our future at this point. So if you're ready to get married, screw the timelines and just get married. Makes the import process easier.
posted by crazycanuck at 9:22 AM on March 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by crazycanuck at 9:22 AM on March 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
If you're okay with supporting him you can make a company and hire him. I'm not sure if it's less of a hassle than getting married, but it's another option. I know one person had a small freelance side business that she turned into a proper business and sponsored her girlfriend's green card. Had to pay her a salary and a few other things to keep it above board and took a few years.
Another person is sponsoring his girl on a H3 trainee visa, which I've heard is pretty easy to get if you're a business. All you have to prove is there is something they can learn here that they can't in their home country (like English). Down side is they can't work (legally) elsewhere, so again you've got to support them. The H3 is only 2 years, but that should be enough time to decide the relationship one way or the other.
I'll admit they're not great options, but stuff that other people have got to work for them.
posted by Ookseer at 11:34 AM on March 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
Another person is sponsoring his girl on a H3 trainee visa, which I've heard is pretty easy to get if you're a business. All you have to prove is there is something they can learn here that they can't in their home country (like English). Down side is they can't work (legally) elsewhere, so again you've got to support them. The H3 is only 2 years, but that should be enough time to decide the relationship one way or the other.
I'll admit they're not great options, but stuff that other people have got to work for them.
posted by Ookseer at 11:34 AM on March 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
screw the timelines and just get married. Makes the import process easier
It's usually easier and cheaper for someone who's resident in the US to import a fiance/e than a spouse.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:34 AM on March 1, 2009
It's usually easier and cheaper for someone who's resident in the US to import a fiance/e than a spouse.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:34 AM on March 1, 2009
It's usually easier and cheaper for someone who's resident in the US to import a fiance/e than a spouse.
That may be true for US citizens, but it is certainly not true for non-immigrant visa holders (TN, H-1B, E3, L1, etc). If you get married outside the US, all you have to do is take the marriage certificate to a visa appointment and presto, your spouse has a visa and he/she can come to the US.
Green card holders are generally screwed when it comes to importing spouses.
posted by crazycanuck at 2:01 PM on March 1, 2009
That may be true for US citizens, but it is certainly not true for non-immigrant visa holders (TN, H-1B, E3, L1, etc). If you get married outside the US, all you have to do is take the marriage certificate to a visa appointment and presto, your spouse has a visa and he/she can come to the US.
Green card holders are generally screwed when it comes to importing spouses.
posted by crazycanuck at 2:01 PM on March 1, 2009
Apply to you: work visas and fiancee visas.
Canada doesn't have fiancé(e) visas, and the OP isn't even Canadian.
posted by oaf at 3:37 PM on March 1, 2009
Canada doesn't have fiancé(e) visas, and the OP isn't even Canadian.
posted by oaf at 3:37 PM on March 1, 2009
If you decide to get married -- you should look into direct-consular-filing through US consulate in Helsinki. With that you (=US Citizen) file the paperwork to get green card status for your newly married spouse while still overseas.
We did that in Helsinki in 2002 -- the whole process took 4 weeks. 3 weeks for my wife-to-be (US citizen) to get an appointment with the consulate to file the paperwork. We got married and then week later I had my green card (actually conditional permanent residency stamp in my passport). Very painless, but had our paperwork in order -- had joint bank accounts, etc. My green card interview consisted of one question about swearing that the paperwork was truthfully filled out; 15 minutes later they returned my passport with the stamp.
posted by zeikka at 3:51 PM on March 1, 2009
We did that in Helsinki in 2002 -- the whole process took 4 weeks. 3 weeks for my wife-to-be (US citizen) to get an appointment with the consulate to file the paperwork. We got married and then week later I had my green card (actually conditional permanent residency stamp in my passport). Very painless, but had our paperwork in order -- had joint bank accounts, etc. My green card interview consisted of one question about swearing that the paperwork was truthfully filled out; 15 minutes later they returned my passport with the stamp.
posted by zeikka at 3:51 PM on March 1, 2009
If you decide to get married -- you should look into direct-consular-filing through US consulate in Helsinki. With that you (=US Citizen) file the paperwork to get green card status for your newly married spouse while still overseas.
Very, very few embassies will do a DCF anymore if you're a US citizen and haven't lived in your spouse's country for at least 6 months.
posted by SweetJesus at 4:56 PM on March 1, 2009
Very, very few embassies will do a DCF anymore if you're a US citizen and haven't lived in your spouse's country for at least 6 months.
posted by SweetJesus at 4:56 PM on March 1, 2009
Back in 2002 when we did it in Helsinki -- we actually flew to Helsinki from Boston only few days beforehand. Don't know of they've changed the rules since then.
posted by zeikka at 7:24 PM on March 1, 2009
posted by zeikka at 7:24 PM on March 1, 2009
Well, you could do what I did. I'm from the UK and my boyfriend is from the US. Between 2005 and 2008 I working my ass off to afford plane tickets/money to live on and then imported myself temporarily on a tourist visa. Started with a long weekend, then a week, then a month and then almost maxing out the 90 day limit last year. And it was a miserable time, with long spaces between visits, but it was ten times better than rushing into marriage when we weren't sure whether we were together for the long haul.
A couple of thousand dollars letter, and we're getting married at the end of the month thanks to a K1 visa. I know that's not what you want immediately, but it could be an end result in the future, and this method worked really well for us. We now know exactly where we want our future to go, and I am really happy.
Unfortunately, this depends on your boyfriend having an expendable career, and you being prepared to support him as best you can when he enters the country... fact is, you're in a difficult position. Either you break up, or you put in a lot more effort/commitment than normal couples to be together.
posted by saturnine at 11:37 PM on March 1, 2009
A couple of thousand dollars letter, and we're getting married at the end of the month thanks to a K1 visa. I know that's not what you want immediately, but it could be an end result in the future, and this method worked really well for us. We now know exactly where we want our future to go, and I am really happy.
Unfortunately, this depends on your boyfriend having an expendable career, and you being prepared to support him as best you can when he enters the country... fact is, you're in a difficult position. Either you break up, or you put in a lot more effort/commitment than normal couples to be together.
posted by saturnine at 11:37 PM on March 1, 2009
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There's too much to go through on here, but basically your only options are short term unless your boyfriend can get a company in the States to sponsor him for a work visa. But with the way the economic situation is in the States, that's going to be next to impossible. I would consider staying in Europe for a bit if you already have the ability to, and then see where you want to go from there.
No idea about the Canadian thing.
Feel free to contact me via mefi mail with any questions.
posted by wile e at 4:59 AM on March 1, 2009