Where can I have a threesome in LA?

February 22, 2009 7:51 PM

How can I safely experiment sexually, like in a club or other group setting?

I'm an attractive female in my twenties. I've never experimented sexually beyond regular male/female sex. I'm very interested in being with another woman, having a threesome, being watched, watching, etc.

I live in Los Angeles, so I feel like there must be a lot of opportunity around me, but I'm very cautious and don't want to end up being killed by some wacko I met on craigslist.

Are there settings, like bars or clubs, where people are partying in a more sexual manner? I once saw an episode of Nip/Tuck where Christian went to a party where people were having sex out in the open, and others would just join in. Does this exist?

If you have an experience similar, I'd love to hear it.

Thanks!

posted by anonymous to society & culture (11 comments total)

Yes they exist, at least around here Meetup is a pretty good place to find them.

Yes, they still use meetup...

Mostly because they take privacy *very* seriously, a lot of them have regular jobs, a disturbing amount in fields that would probably not take kindly to knowing that someone wants various partners etc. Meetup allows some selection.

Otherwise look for things like free alternative papers, etc. It is a lot like pot once you know some people it seems impossible to ever not know how to get it, but til you get that one person it can be really hard.

Swing clubs do exist but that is like jumping into the deepest end of the pool.
posted by yasth at 8:09 PM on February 22, 2009

If you're in LA, Sublime Diversions is having a party on the 28th. They try to appeal to a much younger, hipper demographic than usual--and screen vigorously, which is a huge plus. As you can see from the pictures, the venue is elegant, sensual, and quite welcoming. The two women who organize and run the thing are genuinely nice people-- if you have any questions, ask for Tracy. In all, I'd say it's an excellent place to start. Stay safe and have fun!
posted by aquafortis at 8:39 PM on February 22, 2009

Whoops, here's the main site link: Sublime Diversions
posted by aquafortis at 8:42 PM on February 22, 2009

My guess? You don't want to jeopardize your current 'friend' relationships and you somehow think that if and when this goes bad that there is no fallout that will come back to you and wreck your relationship between you and your friends.
While this is certainly a possibility, perhaps the OP doesn't think she has any friends who would have the knowledge to help her or maybe she is new in town?

That said, OP, is there anyone you do know and trust that you could have a general conversation with about this topic without intruding into their love life or advertising yours? I'm mild mannered but had a roommate once who was into some wild stuff so maybe one of your friends has a contact too.
posted by pointystick at 9:07 PM on February 22, 2009

Freedom Acres, near San Bernardino, may be just what your looking for. It's been several years since my SO and I visited but it was a fun place with well-behaved patrons and a great bar. Lots of watching and beiung watched going on with no pressure.
posted by buggzzee23 at 9:44 PM on February 22, 2009

E-mail me anonymously; my address is in my profile.
posted by arimathea at 5:14 AM on February 23, 2009

The "sex club" idea creeps me out as well.

Your best bet is dinner parties with lots of married people.
posted by Zambrano at 9:57 AM on February 23, 2009

In general, the nice thing about clubs is that they have very strict rules and no tolerance for people who don't follow them. It's a VERY safe place to get a sense of what might crank your shaft. However, the demographic does tend to skew older and more suburban. (Also, depending on how queer you like your scene, clubs can be limiting, since the target demographic is often not cool with bisexual male action.) Recommendations are key, though and the ones provided by local people above sound great.

I know a fair number of people who have hooked up via craigslist, but that's not something I'd recommend for a novice who isn't sure what she wants yet...I think an ad for "not sure, but looking to explore" is going to get a very high creep factor versus a more specific ad.

Most people I know just meet people out and about at bars or out dancing or whatever, or meet through friends. There is a sort of spidey-sense for people looking for a threesome.

(Also, please don't let the judgmental stuff get to you. Feel free to MeMail if you want tips on that.)
posted by desuetude at 1:22 PM on February 23, 2009

An advantage of clubs or groups versus just trying to hook up at a party is that in the clubs there is a whole culture arising from people who know what it's like to experiment, to navigate this emotional landscape, and so on. And like desuetude says, in order for the clubs to function there are well-established rules--such as, there are usually hosts who can help newcomers if they get wigged out or feel pressured, "no means no" is strictly enforced, etc, etc. Single women get treated really well at these places, generally; I'd say there's way more risk picking someone or -ones up at a dance club or on craigslist.

www.sexuality.org has a ton of information that's Seattle- and Pacific NW-centered, as well as links to places farther afield. Might be worth checking out. Or an investment in some plane tickets. :)
posted by Sublimity at 3:41 PM on February 23, 2009

Being a single 'attractive woman' in your twenties, you will basically have your pick of the litter. Single women that want to be part of a threesome are a very rare and coveted thing.
posted by drstein at 11:40 AM on February 24, 2009

Being a single 'attractive woman' in your twenties, you will basically have your pick of the litter. Single women that want to be part of a threesome are a very rare and coveted thing.

I was going to mention this as well, as a warning that the attention can get a little weird to handle, honestly. You'll have to get good at nicely but firmly turning people down, but hey, you'll learn this along the way. The term you'll hear is "unicorn."
posted by desuetude at 12:47 PM on February 24, 2009