how to write a letter to an insecure and abusive father
February 20, 2009 5:59 PM Subscribe
How to write a brief email to a disrespectful parent who stole money to try to get it back?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (18 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
Almost five years ago, I had a mental breakdown, in the course of which partly on the advice of my parents I transferred property to my father's name.
He said at the time this is still your property, it's in my name for now only for convenience.
About two years ago he met a (married!) woman half his age who got him a viagra prescription, he was adulterous with her, then she got divorced and then married my father. Then I heard about it.
I asked him if he had taken any precautions about my equity in the property, and he had not, in fact he had already sold part of it. After thirty years of basically having a civil and enjoyable relationship with the old eccentric, he betrayed me. He was the only one in my family I had any connection to, as my mother and sister are both man-hating lesbians.
Most of the property including a house is now sitting empty. He has no mortgage on the place and lives in a new house he bought for his "wife" with proceeds from selling part of my property.
It's been 18 months since I saw him (I essentially stormed out of his house in anger at his betrayal). I have no desire whatsoever to mend any relationship with him.
He refused mediation, he refused arbitration, and when I tried to get a mutual colleague to talk to him, he snubbed that, saying I should communicate with him directly. But I am not in a place where I can do that effectively. He's an insecure, p***y-wh*pp** old man who betrayed me, and I am not able to put it aside: all I would do if I talk to him is make him defensive.
The fact is that mortgage rates are very low right now and the dollar is strong. I would be willing to accept a partial robbery and write it off if he comes up with 70% of the cash now, which he could definitely do.
Feel free to tell me to just move in if you want, and I'll consider it, but what I'd very much appreciate is if you could write me one paragraph that I can just copy and paste into an email to him proposing a settlement Right Now, that doesn't seem like a "starting point for further bargaining", all without being accusative even though I have no respect for him and detest him.