How can I practice negotiating?

February 20, 2009 7:39 AM

I want to learn to become a great negotiator. What are some every day ways I can practice?

I am reading a couple of good books on the subject but I think these are skills that take practice and I am not often in positions that call for it. I've thought about going to yard sales and flea markets to haggle on prices, but what are some other ways I can really get a lot of practice at negotiating?

posted by amfea to work & money (10 comments total)

There's no shame in visiting local flea markets (or "swap meets" as they are strangely termed in southern Nevada) to hone your skills. Do you know anyone from countries where haggling over prices is a common thing? What about a used car salesman who is willing to act as a friend to you?

As far as finding people to practice with outside of an actual market, are there any meetup groups in your area for entrepreneurs? Entrepreneurial groups discuss many things, including skills needed for various trades. I'm sure a subset of people would enjoy practicing the art of negotiation. Maybe your local Toastmaster's group has people who would be interested in practicing with you.
posted by Piscean at 8:37 AM on February 20

What sort of future situations are you preparing for? A flea market prepares you for a one-time situation, a relationship you could burn. That's fine for learning to negotiate a home purchase but not good for learning to negotiate with your spouse, a long-term business partner, your next door neighbors, etc.

For the latter, look to get yourself into any situation that's jointly managed (I hear worker-owned businesses' business meetings are fast ways to learn to talk to people). Or get into some minor politics, like join the school board. It will be hard to learn without being able to watch people who are good at it in addition to practicing.

Another recommendation I received on AskMe about learning good business communication in general was to take improv classes.
posted by salvia at 8:48 AM on February 20

Don't laugh too hard, but the card game Bohnanza is a microcosm of continual negotiation.
posted by GPF at 9:12 AM on February 20

A lot of multiplayer board/card games can involve a lot of negotiation. Diplomacy, Risk, and Illuminati come to mind. I imagine some of the new german games (settlers, carcason(?)) involve negotiation too, but I don't know that for certain. You can check them out at AsoBrain.
posted by jefftang at 9:17 AM on February 20

Volunteer at a daycare center or an elementary school. Seriously. Leading groups of children in directed activities, and supervising them at play, is good pratice in negotiation and mediation. Learning to be authoritative but flexible with little people has many parallels in the adult world.
posted by amyms at 9:31 AM on February 20

What line of work are you in? Anywhere you work will lead to opportunities for negotiation - it's sometimes more mundane than you'd expect. But negotiating in mundane situations use essentially the same skills as negotiating in more important situations. Try Influence by Cialdini to get an idea of how negotiating occurs daily, and for and understanding on how people can be manipulated.

Craigslist is another place you can negotiate.
posted by jabberjaw at 9:36 AM on February 20

Heh, I was going to drop in and say "have kids," but I see amyms has beaten me to the punch (in spirit, if not precisely). Quite honestly, I feel like having kids has forced me to develop stronger negotiating skills, not to mention leadership & communication skills.
posted by brandman at 10:16 AM on February 20

Start small.
posted by rigby51 at 12:06 PM on February 20 [3 favorites]

This company called Zap Dramatic makes flash games where you have to negotiate with people to reach or avoid a certain outcome. (Scroll down the page to find the negotiation games). While some are free, I think you have to pay a small membership fee for others. Very addicting, though.
posted by mingodingo at 2:19 PM on February 20

Forget the flea markets, that's no test of skill. If you want to really put in the work, haggle at retail stores. Get the manager, point out flaws on floor models, get them to match prices on models that are similiar but not the same. I do it all the time. You get tons of resistance early on in the process, but you'd be amazed at how often it works if you stay at it and can create a solid arguement.
posted by Mr_Chips at 6:57 PM on February 20 [1 favorite]