Help my fiance look older for his interview!

February 20, 2009 7:09 AM

Help my fiance look a little older for his interview!

My fiancé has an interview in a couple of weeks for a job where most people will be at least 4-5 years older than him...and possibly quite a bit more. He's 25, and is applying for a lectureship (equivalent of assistant professor in US) at a university, and he doesn't want to be mistaken for a student! He's very clean shaven and quite baby-faced :) How should he proceed?

Naturally he realises his performance in interview will be more important than how he looks, so please keep responses on the topic of making him look older! Many thanks!

posted by farfaraway to work & money (20 comments total)

Tell him to try not to move his head. Weirdly, the older a person gets, the less inclined s/he is to move the head. To a lesser degree, this is true about physical movements, generally.

Sit up straight, and try to channel some talking head on Meet the Press. Or act "presidential". And be aware that it will "feel" still and unnatural, but will look ok (let him try it in front of you to confirm this).

If something's got to move, do hand gestures. Hand gestures make you look dynamic. But don't move shoulders while moving hands.

BTW, yes, "ick". I agree. But I'm answering your question.
posted by jimmyjimjim at 7:12 AM on February 20

Dark grey, extremely well fitted and pressed suit. The shirt should be white or a very light solid color and crisp. The tie should be in a winsor knot with a subtle burst of bold color but not an extravagant pattern. His shoes should be well cleaned as well. His hair should be short, with some product, but not too much to make it look slick. When he enters the room, make sure he stands tall but not stiff. If he's nervous, work hard on losing the nerves - nothing says young (and inexperienced) like a stiff, nervous demeanor.

Oh. And his socks can be argyle, possibly matching his tie. The trick is to look as if he's had 4 or 5 years of life and experience already and a well dressed fellow can pull this off. Of course, it's not merely the clothes. He should think less Chuck Bass and more Jon Hamm.
posted by Stynxno at 7:17 AM on February 20

Stynxno's got the clothing right.

Clarification of his references for those not up on their US TV:

Chuck Bass: Famously flamboyantly-dressed young character in Gossip Girl.

Jon Hamm: Actor who plays the famously suave, well-dressed Don Draper in Mad Men.
posted by Tomorrowful at 7:25 AM on February 20 [1 favorite]

As a fan of both shows I knew the guys in question :p
posted by farfaraway at 7:35 AM on February 20

I feel like glasses can make a person look older. If he wears contacts, but has glasses he may want to wear them.
posted by DrDreidel at 7:36 AM on February 20

Wear his glasses, and sport a 5 o'clock shadow (so shave the night before) if he can pull a decent one off. That will help mature his baby face a bit.
posted by lizbunny at 7:44 AM on February 20

Also, while the clothes can be important, how he wears them is also important. Make sure they fit correctly, as Stynxno says. If he does not usually wear a suit and tie then make sure he "practice" wears the interview clothing enough to feel comfortable in that clothing, that he knows how to have everything (like tie, belt, etc.) not too loose and not too tight, knows how to sit comfortably and confidently in it.

I do disagree about the argyle socks, however. Not everyone can pull those off. I would stick with plain dark color socks so they are not noticeable one way or the other. Confine the color to the tie and be somewhat subtle about it.
posted by gudrun at 7:48 AM on February 20

I also have a baby face, and I'm generally mistaken for 10 years younger than I am. I'm sure it will be great when I'm 40, but for job interviews where I need to show more experience, it can suck to be considered 24 instead of 34. I sympathize. To some extent, learning to accept that people will tend to have that impression when they meet you can be a big help - you focus less on how to look older, and more about how to project your skills and attitude as someone with the skills and abilities, regardless of how old you look.

That being said, get him to try and lower his voice consciously when he talks, and to talk more slowly - the key is to appear interested and engaged without fidgeting or seeming nervous. Doing this tends to help me. I can sometimes sense when the interviewer lets go of the "oh she's too young" impression they will likely still get at the introduction, and it's usually once we've been talking for 5 minutes or so.

And yes, skew conservative for the clothing and wear darker colours. Clothing that's classic, well-fitted and not too trendy will help him appear older, even if the latest trends looks fabulous on him. Even with the shoes. At the very least, even if they still get the "oh, he's so young" impression when he is introduced at the interview, being well-dressed and the accompanying confidence that goes with him looking and feeling great will help them shake that as the interview goes on.
posted by Cyrie at 7:50 AM on February 20

For men, it really has everything to do with a suit. Aside from that, if you're willing to spend some money, I also recommend a simple brown or black leather briefcase.
posted by Freen at 7:52 AM on February 20

I'm going to disagree about 5 o'clock shadow. This is still a job interview, so being clean shaven is certainly better.
posted by fructose at 7:57 AM on February 20

It's not the appearance that matters so much. You will find that lots of new professors look just like the students and many are, in fact, decades younger than some students these days. It's immature behavior that separates the men from the boys. Like the excess body movements described above, certain behaviors can be his undoing. His ability to speak English properly (this is not the same as the inability to use slang; it his demonstration of the knowledge that there is a time and place for it), his understanding and compliance with the common norms of professorship, his ability to emotionally distance himself from his students so that he can behave ethically at all times, etc.

If he is applying at the university in which he studied, his professors will already have given him some clues as to whether they see him as teaching material. If not, then letters of recommendation from his previous professors will help.

Don't get hung up on looks; they are of little consequence here.
posted by Piscean at 8:26 AM on February 20 [1 favorite]

The only thing that he really needs to wear is confidence. Here's a related AskMe. But clothes may help.

Make sure his suit is not cheap and actually fits him (wool, obviously). I'd lean toward gray, or brown if he can pull it off. A cheap and/or ill-fitting suit makes a person look less mature. The same goes for the shirt - white, crisp and fitted. Leather-soled shoes may be preferable. You've seen Mad Men, so you have a good idea.

He's got to be comfortable in his suit. gudrun's "practice wear" is right on the money.
posted by jabberjaw at 8:37 AM on February 20

Sometimes looking young but talking like an intelligent, mature person can have a really effective 'shock factor'. "He looks like such a baby but when he talks he is just brilliant and mature." Could make him more impressive!
posted by Kololo at 9:00 AM on February 20

Two weeks might be tough, but a nicely trimmed beard might work (as opposed to 5 o'clock shadow).
posted by GPF at 9:15 AM on February 20

He needs to develop some weird physical tic. Every well-established professor and lecturer (even the really good-at-teaching grad students) I've ever had has had a strange way about them. The newer guys didn't have it at all. I had a chem prof who tucked his chin to his right shoulder whenever he would explain something. I had a humanities lecturer who constantly palmed and fondled whatever writing implement he happened to be holding. I had a history prof who would jab his left hand forward to pop his cuff before he answered a question.

I'm not saying that your fiance should fake one of these things (because that would be weird and awkward and fail miserably), but if he does have one (and if he's an academic he certainly does, festering somewhere deep inside), rather than try to hide it during an interview, I'd say he should embrace it. Maybe it was just the school I went to, but the too-lost-in-thinking-about-your-field-to-follow-social-conventions guys were much preferred (but the students and administration) to the ones who were completely put together, regardless of age.
posted by phunniemee at 9:33 AM on February 20

To go along with the good tailoring advice mentioned above, make sure his shoes are broken in (and that the soles are scuffed a little, especially with leather-soled shoes). There's something very "baby bird" seeing a young guy dressed up in a new suit and brand new shiny shoes. Some people look at shoes and you don't want the ruin the effect if it's obvious you took them out of the package that morning.
posted by cabingirl at 9:42 AM on February 20

I definitely second the beard idea, I recently shaved off a goatee and everyone is saying that I look much younger.

For the same reason, I'm planning on growing my bit.
posted by dnesan at 10:09 AM on February 20

Make sure his teeth are fairly white/crisp. Seriously
posted by saxamo at 11:20 AM on February 20

I would get the suit fitted as soon as possible, then he should spend some time in it -- striding confidently, sitting smartly, learning to be comfortable in it. It would probably help to have him take you out to dinner in it, but then you don't want to risk an emergency dry-cleaning either.

Same with shoes -- make sure they're broken in a bit. Have him practice a good, firm (but not grippy!) handshake. Look people in the eye, speak with a confident timbre. That's a good first impression.

I wouldn't worry quite so much about the "babyface". Just being clean-shaven will set him apart from 90% of students! At least in the US, the ranks of assistant professors are filled from people his age, so he won't look out of place. They know full well that he isn't seasoned yet.
posted by dhartung at 12:12 PM on February 20

nthing facial hair. I'm 24 and it makes me look it. Without the goatee, i look like I'm about 20. Also consider a haircut. Too long of hair can look youthful. A good haircut can make a big difference.
posted by JuiceBoxHero at 12:47 PM on February 20