How do you feel about your first name?
February 19, 2009 2:19 PM Subscribe
My friend is trying to find "The Best Possible Name" for her daughter. This threw up a few questions wrt how people feel about their name (at different stages in their life etc).
So here goes, if I may.
1. How do you feel about your first name?
2. How did you feel about your when you were, say, 10?
What did you want to be called aged 10? (How do you feel about that name now? pls share if you have a lasting trauma based on your name)
3a. What would you call your (same gender) kid?
3b. If you have kids, why did you choose the names you did?
4. / freeform What advice would you give future parents based on the experience you've made with your own name? (or of people you know, or just general naming wisdom like "beware of obscure brands" & whatnot)
So here goes, if I may.
1. How do you feel about your first name?
2. How did you feel about your when you were, say, 10?
What did you want to be called aged 10? (How do you feel about that name now? pls share if you have a lasting trauma based on your name)
3a. What would you call your (same gender) kid?
3b. If you have kids, why did you choose the names you did?
4. / freeform What advice would you give future parents based on the experience you've made with your own name? (or of people you know, or just general naming wisdom like "beware of obscure brands" & whatnot)
This post was deleted for the following reason: This is more in chatfiltery "I'm doing a poll" than we're generally okay with for askme. -- cortex
1. Fine.
2. Fine.
3. If I had a boy I would want to call him Titus, which I would shorten to "Tiz". A girl, maybe Charisma. Which I would shorten to "Carrie".
4. Do not name your child after a fruit or a Nazi.
posted by turgid dahlia at 2:32 PM on February 19, 2009
2. Fine.
3. If I had a boy I would want to call him Titus, which I would shorten to "Tiz". A girl, maybe Charisma. Which I would shorten to "Carrie".
4. Do not name your child after a fruit or a Nazi.
posted by turgid dahlia at 2:32 PM on February 19, 2009
1. pretty good
2. I wanted to be something more unique, a name I didn't share with many other girls my age. Now that I interact and work with people of all different ages that is not so much a problem.
3. I have vowed to name my daughter after what I love most: Doritos.
4. Make sure your kid's initials don't spell something and aren't an acronym for something well known. Also, if you want to name your kid a shortened version of the name, consider the long version as an official name so the kid has more options when s/he grows up to choose what s/he wants to be called.
posted by rmless at 2:37 PM on February 19, 2009
2. I wanted to be something more unique, a name I didn't share with many other girls my age. Now that I interact and work with people of all different ages that is not so much a problem.
3. I have vowed to name my daughter after what I love most: Doritos.
4. Make sure your kid's initials don't spell something and aren't an acronym for something well known. Also, if you want to name your kid a shortened version of the name, consider the long version as an official name so the kid has more options when s/he grows up to choose what s/he wants to be called.
posted by rmless at 2:37 PM on February 19, 2009
4. (i) Don't give the kid a name that only sounds good on a baby or small child.
(ii) If you're going to give the kid a name that (traditionally) is the diminutive form of a longer name, just use the longer name; you can still call the kid 'Ellie' or 'Katie' if you want, but they can choose to use the more formal version if they prefer it.
(iii) Avoid names that are very high on lists of name popularity. Your kid doesn't want to share their name with 5 others in their class.
(iv) Avoid the temptation for overly-creative names. Save these for the middle name(s). Your kid will thank you.
(v) Avoid atypical spellings. Your kid won't appreciate having to spell it for everyone they meet.
(vi) Think about how the name sounds in combination with the surname. I knew a kid called 'Wayne Carr' and in the UK that sounds quite amusing.
(vii) Names are not a fashio accessory; try to choose one that won't sound dated in 10 or 20 or 30 years.
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 2:39 PM on February 19, 2009
(ii) If you're going to give the kid a name that (traditionally) is the diminutive form of a longer name, just use the longer name; you can still call the kid 'Ellie' or 'Katie' if you want, but they can choose to use the more formal version if they prefer it.
(iii) Avoid names that are very high on lists of name popularity. Your kid doesn't want to share their name with 5 others in their class.
(iv) Avoid the temptation for overly-creative names. Save these for the middle name(s). Your kid will thank you.
(v) Avoid atypical spellings. Your kid won't appreciate having to spell it for everyone they meet.
(vi) Think about how the name sounds in combination with the surname. I knew a kid called 'Wayne Carr' and in the UK that sounds quite amusing.
(vii) Names are not a fashio accessory; try to choose one that won't sound dated in 10 or 20 or 30 years.
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 2:39 PM on February 19, 2009
I have a very unusual first name, derived from a common Korean name for girls.
1) I don't like it, much. I don't care for the way it sounds, and the pretty much near-constant mispronunciations and resulting awkwardness get kind of tiresome. It also instantly identifies me as me, the one and only Firstname Lastname, which is good and bad. Luckily, it's not anything embarrassing or potentially limiting professionally - just not everyday, and kind of not-melodious. Overall, I think if it sounded prettier to my ear, I'd be fine with having a weird name.
2) I really hated it when I was 10. I would have much rather been named Jane or Sue or anything mainstream. I think those names are perhaps a bit generic now, but still like them better than my own.
3a) I like old-fashioned names for girls - Evelyn, Rose, Mabel. Just do, always have. I *hate* "creative" spellings and trendy names and weird names - having disliked my own not-mainstream name for so long (and my parents were just fobby immigrants without a clue, so I can't blame them much), people who choose to do this to their kids just seem totally misguided to me. Names are like tattoos; what seems creative or cute or clever now almost certainly won't be in twenty years.
4) Watch for what the initials spell. A friend recently named his son with a first name that starts with "D" - he'd originally wanted to name him Homer, but didn't because who wants their baby associated with a cartoon doofus? Unfortunately, the baby's middle name starts with an "O" and his last with an "H." No one has the heart to point out how ironic this is.
posted by peachfuzz at 2:39 PM on February 19, 2009 [1 favorite]
1) I don't like it, much. I don't care for the way it sounds, and the pretty much near-constant mispronunciations and resulting awkwardness get kind of tiresome. It also instantly identifies me as me, the one and only Firstname Lastname, which is good and bad. Luckily, it's not anything embarrassing or potentially limiting professionally - just not everyday, and kind of not-melodious. Overall, I think if it sounded prettier to my ear, I'd be fine with having a weird name.
2) I really hated it when I was 10. I would have much rather been named Jane or Sue or anything mainstream. I think those names are perhaps a bit generic now, but still like them better than my own.
3a) I like old-fashioned names for girls - Evelyn, Rose, Mabel. Just do, always have. I *hate* "creative" spellings and trendy names and weird names - having disliked my own not-mainstream name for so long (and my parents were just fobby immigrants without a clue, so I can't blame them much), people who choose to do this to their kids just seem totally misguided to me. Names are like tattoos; what seems creative or cute or clever now almost certainly won't be in twenty years.
4) Watch for what the initials spell. A friend recently named his son with a first name that starts with "D" - he'd originally wanted to name him Homer, but didn't because who wants their baby associated with a cartoon doofus? Unfortunately, the baby's middle name starts with an "O" and his last with an "H." No one has the heart to point out how ironic this is.
posted by peachfuzz at 2:39 PM on February 19, 2009 [1 favorite]
christina, for the record
i hated my name when i was 10. i wanted to be anastasia. i think that name is a little silly now.
my annoyances with my name have changed over the years and i've grown to realize it's me for better or for worse. i guess now i get annoyed how often i'm called christine. i hate almost all forms of my name besides the full thing. i think the alternate spellings of my name look bad, so i'm glad i got the one i did. i find the christian roots of my name to be funny when you consider that i'm agnostic. i think my first and last name are too long together (17 letters).
posted by nadawi at 2:41 PM on February 19, 2009
i hated my name when i was 10. i wanted to be anastasia. i think that name is a little silly now.
my annoyances with my name have changed over the years and i've grown to realize it's me for better or for worse. i guess now i get annoyed how often i'm called christine. i hate almost all forms of my name besides the full thing. i think the alternate spellings of my name look bad, so i'm glad i got the one i did. i find the christian roots of my name to be funny when you consider that i'm agnostic. i think my first and last name are too long together (17 letters).
posted by nadawi at 2:41 PM on February 19, 2009
The Best Possible Name
Anything that won't get her mocked by girls or sexual innuendo by boys is fine. Also be aware of how the first name goes with the last name. Alicia sounds fine, but if the last name is Cox, young boys will have a field day with "Why do you put that leash on my cock" or something like that.
Otherwise the name isn't that important. Raise'em to be half way decent and they'll come to love their name.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 2:43 PM on February 19, 2009
Anything that won't get her mocked by girls or sexual innuendo by boys is fine. Also be aware of how the first name goes with the last name. Alicia sounds fine, but if the last name is Cox, young boys will have a field day with "Why do you put that leash on my cock" or something like that.
Otherwise the name isn't that important. Raise'em to be half way decent and they'll come to love their name.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 2:43 PM on February 19, 2009
My first name always gets butchered. No one pronounces it correctly. When I was a kid, this really bothered me. I was a shy quiet kid that didn't like attention drawn to me, so when a teacher would stumble over my name, the class would laugh, and I would want to disappear.
However, my aunt has the same name as I do and she always gets a good chuckle out of the wacky ways people pronounce our name. So, it's really in the eye of the beholder. For me, it was near excruciating. For her (quite secure in herself and outgoing) it was a source of amusement.
I still cringe when I have to correct people on my name or someone mispronounces it.
I have children now and I tried to give them all names that had some sort of meaning for us, whether it have familial connotations or a name that had other meaning for us. At the same time, I kept the names a little on the unique side, but still quite pronounce-able and spell-able.
My advice is this: have the name mean something to you and make sure the name is fairly easily spelled and pronounced (and it doesn't have to be an ordinary name, it could still be unique without being difficult to pronounce).
Oh, and one other really materialistic side to all of this. I was always really bummed that there weren't pencils and necklaces and little knick-knacky things that I could buy at the store that already had my name engraved on it. Of course there were Jennifers and Jacks and Charleses, but not my name.
posted by Sassyfras at 2:44 PM on February 19, 2009
However, my aunt has the same name as I do and she always gets a good chuckle out of the wacky ways people pronounce our name. So, it's really in the eye of the beholder. For me, it was near excruciating. For her (quite secure in herself and outgoing) it was a source of amusement.
I still cringe when I have to correct people on my name or someone mispronounces it.
I have children now and I tried to give them all names that had some sort of meaning for us, whether it have familial connotations or a name that had other meaning for us. At the same time, I kept the names a little on the unique side, but still quite pronounce-able and spell-able.
My advice is this: have the name mean something to you and make sure the name is fairly easily spelled and pronounced (and it doesn't have to be an ordinary name, it could still be unique without being difficult to pronounce).
Oh, and one other really materialistic side to all of this. I was always really bummed that there weren't pencils and necklaces and little knick-knacky things that I could buy at the store that already had my name engraved on it. Of course there were Jennifers and Jacks and Charleses, but not my name.
posted by Sassyfras at 2:44 PM on February 19, 2009
1. Great.
2. I felt it was uncool. I wanted a name like Mikey, Corey, Josh, Iceman, etc. My name, while not exactly on a par with Herbert or Edgar in fashionability stakes, was not a popular one in the media I consumed aged 10.
3a. Probably something from a different culture to mine. Or at least a different era.
4. The experience I have had with my own name has not really left me with any advice to give. I felt it was a little uncool, but as I grew up it became irrelevant just like all those other childhood things. I imagine my experience is not unusual. I think most people grow into their name, or at least some form of it.
posted by fire&wings at 2:45 PM on February 19, 2009
2. I felt it was uncool. I wanted a name like Mikey, Corey, Josh, Iceman, etc. My name, while not exactly on a par with Herbert or Edgar in fashionability stakes, was not a popular one in the media I consumed aged 10.
3a. Probably something from a different culture to mine. Or at least a different era.
4. The experience I have had with my own name has not really left me with any advice to give. I felt it was a little uncool, but as I grew up it became irrelevant just like all those other childhood things. I imagine my experience is not unusual. I think most people grow into their name, or at least some form of it.
posted by fire&wings at 2:45 PM on February 19, 2009
1. It's fine.
2. I went back and forth, I wished it was a little different, but it was also cool to have a two other kids with the same name in my class.
3. Old-fashioned name, Esther, Margaret, Dorothy, Lula (sounds normal, but not common)
4. Make sure it doesn't rhyme with anything stupid.
posted by pokeedog at 2:46 PM on February 19, 2009
2. I went back and forth, I wished it was a little different, but it was also cool to have a two other kids with the same name in my class.
3. Old-fashioned name, Esther, Margaret, Dorothy, Lula (sounds normal, but not common)
4. Make sure it doesn't rhyme with anything stupid.
posted by pokeedog at 2:46 PM on February 19, 2009
I have a really ordinary first name that I've never had any problems with. Not like I was named "Moon Unit" or anything...
I have no intention of procreating, but I've always like the feel of the name "Samantha" for girls. Partly because I had a GF with that name who liked to be called Sam, and I always got a chuckle out of telling my friends and family (in the early days) that my date Sam would be joining me.
Otherwise, I think the key to a good name is a kind of poetic meter and semi-unique origin. Richard (or Dick) Jones is mundane. Heironymous Jones is cool. Alan Bond is boring. James Bond is cool. Patricia Remillard is okay. September Remillard is cool. Always good if the syllables either match or are wildly disparate.
Anyway, my two pennies.
posted by elendil71 at 2:50 PM on February 19, 2009
I have no intention of procreating, but I've always like the feel of the name "Samantha" for girls. Partly because I had a GF with that name who liked to be called Sam, and I always got a chuckle out of telling my friends and family (in the early days) that my date Sam would be joining me.
Otherwise, I think the key to a good name is a kind of poetic meter and semi-unique origin. Richard (or Dick) Jones is mundane. Heironymous Jones is cool. Alan Bond is boring. James Bond is cool. Patricia Remillard is okay. September Remillard is cool. Always good if the syllables either match or are wildly disparate.
Anyway, my two pennies.
posted by elendil71 at 2:50 PM on February 19, 2009
1. It's boring, and super common for people my age in a trendy way. To give you an idea, it was basically to the early/mid '80s what "Madison" was to the late 90s/early 2000s. It can't be shortened to any kind of nickname, really, either. I am a girl and my middle name is decidedly a boy's name, so that was out, too.
2. I didn't like it then for the same reasons. I wanted a nickname.
3. I would call my kid a more interesting first name paired with a traditional middle name to give them options.
4. Don't name your kid whatever the cool name is this year. Traditional names are fine, but when someone can tell almost exactly how old you are by your name, it's kind of annoying.
posted by fructose at 2:55 PM on February 19, 2009
2. I didn't like it then for the same reasons. I wanted a nickname.
3. I would call my kid a more interesting first name paired with a traditional middle name to give them options.
4. Don't name your kid whatever the cool name is this year. Traditional names are fine, but when someone can tell almost exactly how old you are by your name, it's kind of annoying.
posted by fructose at 2:55 PM on February 19, 2009
1. It's unusual; I like it. I've met... maybe three or four other people with my name over the course of my life, and it's always exciting. I find it comforting that I'm the only "me" I know, and that I don't constantly hear my name in movies and songs. The downside is that, coupled with my last name, it's possible to find everything I wrote on the internet when I was 15.
2. Fine. I occasionally got a bit tired of spelling it, but I learned certain tricks as I grew up. My name doesn't easily reduce to any nice nicknames, so I never really had any growing up.
4. Get lots of opinions. You might think [name] is a lovely name, but if nine out of the ten people you ask think it's awful, there's a good chance your kid will too. Also, a common-sounding name with an unusual spelling is a recipe for disaster, because your kid will have all the inconveniences of thinking people are talking to them in a crowd, coupled with all the inconveniences of having their names constantly misspelled. At least with an unusual-sounding name, people won't usually just guess the spelling.
posted by you're a kitty! at 2:56 PM on February 19, 2009
2. Fine. I occasionally got a bit tired of spelling it, but I learned certain tricks as I grew up. My name doesn't easily reduce to any nice nicknames, so I never really had any growing up.
4. Get lots of opinions. You might think [name] is a lovely name, but if nine out of the ten people you ask think it's awful, there's a good chance your kid will too. Also, a common-sounding name with an unusual spelling is a recipe for disaster, because your kid will have all the inconveniences of thinking people are talking to them in a crowd, coupled with all the inconveniences of having their names constantly misspelled. At least with an unusual-sounding name, people won't usually just guess the spelling.
posted by you're a kitty! at 2:56 PM on February 19, 2009
1. I love it.
2. I loved it. (However, due to vague delusions of grandeur about growing up to become an world-famous actress/scientist (really), for a short time around the age of 10 I entertained the notion of changing my entire name (upon reaching the age of 21) to what I thought was a particularly sophisticated first/middle/last name combo that I realize now would have made me sound like a madam from a daytime soap opera.)
3a. Top contenders, if I ever have a daughter: Violet or Julia/Juliet, probably paired with my middle name (which is also my mom's middle name and the feminine form of my grandfather's name and my boyfriend's father's name).
4. My personal rule of thumb: imagine calling the child's name on a playground. Then imagine addressing them as "Chief Justice (full name)." If either instance sounds ridiculous, adjust accordingly.
posted by scody at 2:59 PM on February 19, 2009 [5 favorites]
2. I loved it. (However, due to vague delusions of grandeur about growing up to become an world-famous actress/scientist (really), for a short time around the age of 10 I entertained the notion of changing my entire name (upon reaching the age of 21) to what I thought was a particularly sophisticated first/middle/last name combo that I realize now would have made me sound like a madam from a daytime soap opera.)
3a. Top contenders, if I ever have a daughter: Violet or Julia/Juliet, probably paired with my middle name (which is also my mom's middle name and the feminine form of my grandfather's name and my boyfriend's father's name).
4. My personal rule of thumb: imagine calling the child's name on a playground. Then imagine addressing them as "Chief Justice (full name)." If either instance sounds ridiculous, adjust accordingly.
posted by scody at 2:59 PM on February 19, 2009 [5 favorites]
[My first name is Carolyn]
1. I generally like my name now.
2. I didn't particularly like it. I was a tomboy and I thought the name was a. too girly; b. a bit old-fashioned (there was never another Carolyn in my class/grade); c. a little weird/didn't fit me. I also wanted a name with a cute boyish nickname that I could use as the name like Dani for Danielle or Sam for Samantha. I think that was from the tomboy thing. I did sort of like that at that age my main association with my name was Carolyn Keene (the name used as the author of the Nancy Drew books), because I was also a big mystery reader.
3. No answer, as I have no idea and don't plan on having kids so I won't have to make that decision
4. My advice is a bit of the inverse of some other commentator's advice - if you, like my mother, like a name because "there are so many possible nicknames" then you should pick one and use it! I never had a nickname that I could write on my schoolwork (as opposed to a shortened version used only verbally, like Ca or Caz) because my parents called me Carolyn and so my teachers and friends did too.
Also decide how strongly you feel about pronunciation/spelling. My name is always being pronounced or spelled Caroline and I don't really mind at all, but so often other people get offended on my behalf, and when I was younger, on my parents' behalf. If this is going to bother you, you might want to pick a name that doesn't have alternate spellings/pronunciations (though that is probably harder and harder to do now that people have come up with so many creative spellings).
posted by Caz721 at 3:02 PM on February 19, 2009
1. I generally like my name now.
2. I didn't particularly like it. I was a tomboy and I thought the name was a. too girly; b. a bit old-fashioned (there was never another Carolyn in my class/grade); c. a little weird/didn't fit me. I also wanted a name with a cute boyish nickname that I could use as the name like Dani for Danielle or Sam for Samantha. I think that was from the tomboy thing. I did sort of like that at that age my main association with my name was Carolyn Keene (the name used as the author of the Nancy Drew books), because I was also a big mystery reader.
3. No answer, as I have no idea and don't plan on having kids so I won't have to make that decision
4. My advice is a bit of the inverse of some other commentator's advice - if you, like my mother, like a name because "there are so many possible nicknames" then you should pick one and use it! I never had a nickname that I could write on my schoolwork (as opposed to a shortened version used only verbally, like Ca or Caz) because my parents called me Carolyn and so my teachers and friends did too.
Also decide how strongly you feel about pronunciation/spelling. My name is always being pronounced or spelled Caroline and I don't really mind at all, but so often other people get offended on my behalf, and when I was younger, on my parents' behalf. If this is going to bother you, you might want to pick a name that doesn't have alternate spellings/pronunciations (though that is probably harder and harder to do now that people have come up with so many creative spellings).
posted by Caz721 at 3:02 PM on February 19, 2009
1. I love it. Sharing a name with the future tense helping verb has its occasional annoyances, but you can't beat it for purposes of agency.
2. I was just glad they stopped calling me 'Elmo.' I thought about switching to Everett, my middle name, because I felt like it might be a better fit, but I just never had the opportunity. When I really started to love my name was in college, when my Dad explained to me that the reason he named me after himself (making me William Everett Moore III) was because, while he thought that I deserved a unique name, my initials would end up being the same character rotated 90 degrees four times (WEM3). This makes me feel awesome.
3a. Scadodymaroo, Zapodimus, Leonardo Donatello Michelangelo Raphael Cowabunga Pizza Time Moore, or, failing these ridiculous names that no sane partner would ever let me bestow, possibly Everett.
4. Giving your kid a name that can be turned into a unique symbol is one of the greatest gifts I've ever received. For official purposes, it's not too funky, but can be turned into something special to me. Thanks Mom and Dad!
posted by solipsophistocracy at 3:02 PM on February 19, 2009 [2 favorites]
2. I was just glad they stopped calling me 'Elmo.' I thought about switching to Everett, my middle name, because I felt like it might be a better fit, but I just never had the opportunity. When I really started to love my name was in college, when my Dad explained to me that the reason he named me after himself (making me William Everett Moore III) was because, while he thought that I deserved a unique name, my initials would end up being the same character rotated 90 degrees four times (WEM3). This makes me feel awesome.
3a. Scadodymaroo, Zapodimus, Leonardo Donatello Michelangelo Raphael Cowabunga Pizza Time Moore, or, failing these ridiculous names that no sane partner would ever let me bestow, possibly Everett.
4. Giving your kid a name that can be turned into a unique symbol is one of the greatest gifts I've ever received. For official purposes, it's not too funky, but can be turned into something special to me. Thanks Mom and Dad!
posted by solipsophistocracy at 3:02 PM on February 19, 2009 [2 favorites]
My name was the number one girl’s name in the US for my birth year. I've always thought it was kind of boring because there are so many people with the same name, but my parents had family and religious reasons for choosing it, so I like that about it. I think the best feature of any name (even weird or boring ones) is the connection to family--whether it's a name whose meaning the parents find important or a family name that has been passed down for generations. Also, it's sort of nice, in some ways, to have a relatively anonymous name: if you know details about me, I'm not hard to find on the internet, but just googling my name returns a ton of irrelevant links.
So, I guess I would advise against going for the most creative and unique and amazing name, and favor something meaningful to the family instead--even if that means introducing the world to another Elizabeth. You can always give a wacky middle name so the kid has the option to go by, say, Lemongrass Glitterbaby, if she wants to when she's ten.
posted by Meg_Murry at 3:03 PM on February 19, 2009
So, I guess I would advise against going for the most creative and unique and amazing name, and favor something meaningful to the family instead--even if that means introducing the world to another Elizabeth. You can always give a wacky middle name so the kid has the option to go by, say, Lemongrass Glitterbaby, if she wants to when she's ten.
posted by Meg_Murry at 3:03 PM on February 19, 2009
1. Hate it. It's odd without being charming, dated rather than being old-fashioned, gets messed up all the time; and the celebrities who share the name aren't particularly interesting ones and so the chance for witty repartee for that aspect is nil.
2. Hated it. It didn't help my popularity any and it made me want to be called Amanda, so I could be called Mandy. Yes, because of that Barry Manilow song, with no thought given to "Amanda Hugginkiss or aMANda comments. See? It's that bad. But that was the seventies for you. Now, I realize that I still would have had issues with Amanda - but it would still be better than my name.
3. Her name is Josephine - for family reasons among others. She loves it. People smile when they hear it. She likes being Jo, Joey, Josie and Josephine. We chose it because she can be Josie B. Good - a famous rock star, who will let me quit my job and manage her career. (Not really, but there are about ten reasons and I'm working on my brevity).
4. What everyone above said, especially about choosing the spelling carefully - and adding that names that you can yell across the park (and not have five others come running) are a good idea.
posted by peagood at 3:06 PM on February 19, 2009 [1 favorite]
2. Hated it. It didn't help my popularity any and it made me want to be called Amanda, so I could be called Mandy. Yes, because of that Barry Manilow song, with no thought given to "Amanda Hugginkiss or aMANda comments. See? It's that bad. But that was the seventies for you. Now, I realize that I still would have had issues with Amanda - but it would still be better than my name.
3. Her name is Josephine - for family reasons among others. She loves it. People smile when they hear it. She likes being Jo, Joey, Josie and Josephine. We chose it because she can be Josie B. Good - a famous rock star, who will let me quit my job and manage her career. (Not really, but there are about ten reasons and I'm working on my brevity).
4. What everyone above said, especially about choosing the spelling carefully - and adding that names that you can yell across the park (and not have five others come running) are a good idea.
posted by peagood at 3:06 PM on February 19, 2009 [1 favorite]
I love my name (Kathleen). It's kind of an old-fashioned name but not in a musty way like "Mabel" or "Gertrude" or something. Until I was 15 I was called Kathy, but I would not like to be called that now (I perceive it as too childish, plus too common). I like that my name is uncommon in the United States. The only thing I dislike is that people who are, shall we say, not very "literary" (or not native English speakers) are likely to misspell it or mispronounce it in unanticipated ways (e.g, Cathline).
Not planning on having kids, but I have given my former and current cats unusual people names (Matilda, Lars, and Rupert).
(I want to know what scody's erstwhile stage name was going to be.)
posted by matildaben at 3:07 PM on February 19, 2009
Not planning on having kids, but I have given my former and current cats unusual people names (Matilda, Lars, and Rupert).
(I want to know what scody's erstwhile stage name was going to be.)
posted by matildaben at 3:07 PM on February 19, 2009
My name (Jennifer) is so very common in my age group that all throughout childhood I wished for a more interesting and less common name. Add in a pretty common middle name and last name, and there are many women in the world who share all three with me.
On the other hand, it gives me a few options of a shortened name. I was called Jenny as a kid, but it was pretty painless to transition out of that as I got older. I could always find items with my name on it, a total bonus for a kid. Not so important for me these days, except as a joke. Plus, for the most part people can spell it unless they are trying to use one 'n' or two 'f's.
So I wholeheartedly agree with all of the suggestions for a traditional spelling. Personally, when naming my (future) kid, I will keep in mind ease of spelling and pronunciation while also going for something slightly uncommon. I also agree about going for something with a pleasing sound and that goes well w/the middle and last name. A long last name sounds better with a shorter first name and vice versa, and the two shouldn't have the same number of syllables (people may differ on this).
posted by JenMarie at 3:07 PM on February 19, 2009
On the other hand, it gives me a few options of a shortened name. I was called Jenny as a kid, but it was pretty painless to transition out of that as I got older. I could always find items with my name on it, a total bonus for a kid. Not so important for me these days, except as a joke. Plus, for the most part people can spell it unless they are trying to use one 'n' or two 'f's.
So I wholeheartedly agree with all of the suggestions for a traditional spelling. Personally, when naming my (future) kid, I will keep in mind ease of spelling and pronunciation while also going for something slightly uncommon. I also agree about going for something with a pleasing sound and that goes well w/the middle and last name. A long last name sounds better with a shorter first name and vice versa, and the two shouldn't have the same number of syllables (people may differ on this).
posted by JenMarie at 3:07 PM on February 19, 2009
1. Love it.
2. Not so much. I actually went by my middle name in junior high.
3. I've always liked Kara and Charlotte as first names. I like Charlotte because it can also be shortened to Charlie or Lottie -- boys' names on girls have always seemed cool to me but I know when you're 10 that's not appreciated.
4. Consider all possible nicknames as well as initials.
posted by rabbitrabbit at 3:08 PM on February 19, 2009
2. Not so much. I actually went by my middle name in junior high.
3. I've always liked Kara and Charlotte as first names. I like Charlotte because it can also be shortened to Charlie or Lottie -- boys' names on girls have always seemed cool to me but I know when you're 10 that's not appreciated.
4. Consider all possible nicknames as well as initials.
posted by rabbitrabbit at 3:08 PM on February 19, 2009
1. I quite like it
2. I went by, and still do, the shortened form of my name, Alex from Alexandra.
My family uses the middle name as a place to recycle family names. I was sorta embarrassed by mine, and would hide it in elementary school. Now that I know more about my great-grandmother, and pronounce it the correct french way, Henrietta doesn't remind me of chickens.
3. Victoria
4. I like the idea of traditional or multi-syllable names that give way to lots of nicknames (like mine). So Victoria could be Vicky, Vee, Tori, etc. I also think it's important to consider the name with a Dr. or The Honorable in front of it. Would you go to a Dr. Rocket Jones?
Also, an unexpected benefit is that my name can be gender neutral. I hadn't really considered that until I was selling my college apartment furniture to an unknown "Chris" from craigslist. When she showed up, we both sorta chuckled that we had chosen to hide our gender, and felt safer not advertising "hey I'm a young woman on the internet, come to my house/ let me come to your house".
posted by fontophilic at 3:08 PM on February 19, 2009
2. I went by, and still do, the shortened form of my name, Alex from Alexandra.
My family uses the middle name as a place to recycle family names. I was sorta embarrassed by mine, and would hide it in elementary school. Now that I know more about my great-grandmother, and pronounce it the correct french way, Henrietta doesn't remind me of chickens.
3. Victoria
4. I like the idea of traditional or multi-syllable names that give way to lots of nicknames (like mine). So Victoria could be Vicky, Vee, Tori, etc. I also think it's important to consider the name with a Dr. or The Honorable in front of it. Would you go to a Dr. Rocket Jones?
Also, an unexpected benefit is that my name can be gender neutral. I hadn't really considered that until I was selling my college apartment furniture to an unknown "Chris" from craigslist. When she showed up, we both sorta chuckled that we had chosen to hide our gender, and felt safer not advertising "hey I'm a young woman on the internet, come to my house/ let me come to your house".
posted by fontophilic at 3:08 PM on February 19, 2009
My first name is "Patton," for the record.
1. I love my name now. I think I've "grown into it," and I like that it's distinctive. It has also proven to be an oddly effective (if totally illegitimate) sort of credentializer in my professional field. People just think it natural for someone named "Patton" to be doing what I do, and I honestly think I have gotten a couple of breaks that wouldn't have come to someone named "Todd" with the same resume.
2. I hated it. I was a fat kid, and "Fatton" was a real easy nickname. I don't know about age 10, but around age 6 I desperately wanted to be named "Michael," because I thought Michael Jackson was the shit.
3. No clue.
4. No clue.
I think the ideal name might depend on your overall parenting strategy. My parents (who IMO were very good parents who love me a lot) were very much of the "it's a long way from your heart" school of thought. Anything that wasn't a legitimately big deal was to be gotten over or walked off.
Their solution to the "problem" of my not liking my name was to ignore me and remind me that not liking one's name is not exactly tragic. I think that if they had indulged me or done anything other than rolling their eyes at me it would have made it harder for me to change my mind and really grow to feel comfortable with my name.
In short, if you're the type of parent to ALWAYS take your kid's concerns seriously (even when they are stupid), you're just asking for a ration of crap by giving them a unique name. But if you're cool with them not "getting it" until they're older, go for it.
posted by Ignatius J. Reilly at 3:11 PM on February 19, 2009
1. I love my name now. I think I've "grown into it," and I like that it's distinctive. It has also proven to be an oddly effective (if totally illegitimate) sort of credentializer in my professional field. People just think it natural for someone named "Patton" to be doing what I do, and I honestly think I have gotten a couple of breaks that wouldn't have come to someone named "Todd" with the same resume.
2. I hated it. I was a fat kid, and "Fatton" was a real easy nickname. I don't know about age 10, but around age 6 I desperately wanted to be named "Michael," because I thought Michael Jackson was the shit.
3. No clue.
4. No clue.
I think the ideal name might depend on your overall parenting strategy. My parents (who IMO were very good parents who love me a lot) were very much of the "it's a long way from your heart" school of thought. Anything that wasn't a legitimately big deal was to be gotten over or walked off.
Their solution to the "problem" of my not liking my name was to ignore me and remind me that not liking one's name is not exactly tragic. I think that if they had indulged me or done anything other than rolling their eyes at me it would have made it harder for me to change my mind and really grow to feel comfortable with my name.
In short, if you're the type of parent to ALWAYS take your kid's concerns seriously (even when they are stupid), you're just asking for a ration of crap by giving them a unique name. But if you're cool with them not "getting it" until they're older, go for it.
posted by Ignatius J. Reilly at 3:11 PM on February 19, 2009
1. Gabriel: Overall, I'm happy with it. It's common enough that everyone is aware of the name, but not too common that I run into confusing situations with other people with the same name. I think it strikes the appropriate balance on "not too common, not too rare". The only problem with it, is it starts with the sound "gay", and believe it or not, through middle school and maybe high school, I got teased about that, and didn't like introducing myself as "I'm gay-briel". (Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course.... but teenage boys are merciless).
Sometimes I wished my middle name started with an 'O' so my initials would be GOD, but I don't want that anymore. Having three letters that clearly are initials are useful.
posted by losvedir at 3:12 PM on February 19, 2009
Sometimes I wished my middle name started with an 'O' so my initials would be GOD, but I don't want that anymore. Having three letters that clearly are initials are useful.
posted by losvedir at 3:12 PM on February 19, 2009
1. I'm Claire, and I've always liked it.
2. When I was ten, it was the mid-seventies in the deep south, and no one had heard of my name. People, adults and kids, usually called me Clara until they got to know me. I hated that, but that didn't stop me from liking my name. I don't remember wanting to be called something else (and I do remember wanting to be a tiger and not a kid, so it's not like I lacked imagination.)
3a. If I had a daughter, I might have named her Erin.
3b. We chose a name for our son that people have heard of and know how to spell, but such that he wouldn't meet himself coming and going. More importantly, we chose a name that people don't seem to have preconceived notions about. I didn't want him to grow up with a name that clashed with his personality. His name is a bit trendy, but we didn't realize it when we gave it to him (we thought we were being more original!), but I don't regret that. I'm pretty sure he likes his name fine.
4. See 3b.
posted by zinfandel at 3:13 PM on February 19, 2009
2. When I was ten, it was the mid-seventies in the deep south, and no one had heard of my name. People, adults and kids, usually called me Clara until they got to know me. I hated that, but that didn't stop me from liking my name. I don't remember wanting to be called something else (and I do remember wanting to be a tiger and not a kid, so it's not like I lacked imagination.)
3a. If I had a daughter, I might have named her Erin.
3b. We chose a name for our son that people have heard of and know how to spell, but such that he wouldn't meet himself coming and going. More importantly, we chose a name that people don't seem to have preconceived notions about. I didn't want him to grow up with a name that clashed with his personality. His name is a bit trendy, but we didn't realize it when we gave it to him (we thought we were being more original!), but I don't regret that. I'm pretty sure he likes his name fine.
4. See 3b.
posted by zinfandel at 3:13 PM on February 19, 2009
My name is Annsley. This is a very unusual Scottish name that trickled into the southern USA and was virtually unknown outside of the Carolinas and Georgia until a few years ago, when it got trendy (so says Freakonomics).
1. Great. I like my name, and suspect it was what encouraged me to think of myself as "special" or whathaveyou when I was little. My only worry is that now I'll have to share it with a slew of toddlers with siblings named Clementine and Ava and Hannah.
2. I've always enjoyed being Annsley. Everyone in the Midwest was named Jenny, Sarah and Megan, so it was nice to be different. Also, I had a sense it was "my" name that I didn't have to share with anyone else.
3. I like clean, clear-eyed names for girls, like Gwen, Eve, Marin, and Zoe (though Zoe is also getting trendy). I'm wary of saddling girls with ultra-feminine names that sound whimsical or pampered because I want my girls to have a running start at ball-busting (if that's what makes them happy, blah blah blah).
posted by zoomorphic at 3:14 PM on February 19, 2009 [1 favorite]
1. Great. I like my name, and suspect it was what encouraged me to think of myself as "special" or whathaveyou when I was little. My only worry is that now I'll have to share it with a slew of toddlers with siblings named Clementine and Ava and Hannah.
2. I've always enjoyed being Annsley. Everyone in the Midwest was named Jenny, Sarah and Megan, so it was nice to be different. Also, I had a sense it was "my" name that I didn't have to share with anyone else.
3. I like clean, clear-eyed names for girls, like Gwen, Eve, Marin, and Zoe (though Zoe is also getting trendy). I'm wary of saddling girls with ultra-feminine names that sound whimsical or pampered because I want my girls to have a running start at ball-busting (if that's what makes them happy, blah blah blah).
posted by zoomorphic at 3:14 PM on February 19, 2009 [1 favorite]
1. How do you feel about your first name?
I'm proud of it now and I'm glad I have it (it makes me VERY easy to Google). People compliment a lot once they know how to say it correctly (it's TIM-uh-nee, not tim-OH-nee). I constantly have to say it aloud and spell it aloud, but it doesn't bother me.
2. How did you feel about your when you were, say, 10?
Sort of indifferent. I don't think it's a pretty name.
What did you want to be called aged 10? (How do you feel about that name now? pls share if you have a lasting trauma based on your name)
I wanted to be called Stephanie or Tiffany (hey, it was the eighties!). Now I'm REALLY glad I don't have either of those names.
I do have a sort-of-trauma based on my name: when I was in middle school the kids called me tim-OH-nee macaroni ravioli groan-ee. I pretty much hate that, though I can laugh at it now.
3a. What would you call your (same gender) kid?
Isobel.
3b. If you have kids, why did you choose the names you did?
n/a
posted by timoni at 3:19 PM on February 19, 2009
1. Fine. It's 'Joe,' which everybody recognizes and nearly everybody can spell, and which, despite not carrying any strong signifiers, most folks think suits me.
2. Fine. I wasn't crazy about the diminutive, but nobody ever used it.
3a. Sadat (this is a reference to an old joke--I don't plan to have children.)
3b. I don't have kids.
4. If you're going to name the kid after something, spell it right.
posted by box at 3:21 PM on February 19, 2009
2. Fine. I wasn't crazy about the diminutive, but nobody ever used it.
3a. Sadat (this is a reference to an old joke--I don't plan to have children.)
3b. I don't have kids.
4. If you're going to name the kid after something, spell it right.
posted by box at 3:21 PM on February 19, 2009
1 & 2) I'm okay with my name. Don't really love it, but I haven't explicitly hated it either. My name never really caused me any grief as a kid , and that's probably worth it's weight in gold. Today... meh. It'll do. I can't really come up with anything I'd rather be, so I'm good with it.
My only real complaint about my name is that I was actually given the informal, nic-namey version of a more formal name. I was always being asked "Is that short for ...?" No. No it is not. It's what's on my birth certificate.
3) I want a girl I can call Izzie. Which probably means I'd name a kid Isabelle or Isabella. I'm leaning towards Isabella because I could also call her Bella. (And yes, I know Izzie's been made popular by Grey's Anatomy. I'm okay with that; I thought of it first, but I figure I could do alot worse than naming my kid a name made popular by a Katherine Heigl character.)
posted by cgg at 3:26 PM on February 19, 2009
My only real complaint about my name is that I was actually given the informal, nic-namey version of a more formal name. I was always being asked "Is that short for ...?" No. No it is not. It's what's on my birth certificate.
3) I want a girl I can call Izzie. Which probably means I'd name a kid Isabelle or Isabella. I'm leaning towards Isabella because I could also call her Bella. (And yes, I know Izzie's been made popular by Grey's Anatomy. I'm okay with that; I thought of it first, but I figure I could do alot worse than naming my kid a name made popular by a Katherine Heigl character.)
posted by cgg at 3:26 PM on February 19, 2009
1. I've always liked my name. It's nice to have more and less formal versions: Dan/Danny/Daniel.
4. Avoid the trend of naming a girl some traditional last name (eg. Madison, Mackenzie, and misspellings thereof).
posted by 6550 at 3:26 PM on February 19, 2009
4. Avoid the trend of naming a girl some traditional last name (eg. Madison, Mackenzie, and misspellings thereof).
posted by 6550 at 3:26 PM on February 19, 2009
(ii) If you're going to give the kid a name that (traditionally) is the diminutive form of a longer name, just use the longer name; you can still call the kid 'Ellie' or 'Katie' if you want, but they can choose to use the more formal version if they prefer it.
Truth!
It meant a lot to me to go from "Cassie" to "Cassandra" at age twelve when I decided I wanted to be called by my real name, thank you VERY much. I've mellowed on the subject since then and haven't murdered anyone for presuming to call me "Cassie" in at least seven or eight years. My parents named me Cassandra specifically so they could call me Cassie...but they didn't just go ahead and name me Cassie because they wanted me to have some options. (I could've gone with Sandy, even, I suppose...)
posted by Neofelis at 3:27 PM on February 19, 2009
Truth!
It meant a lot to me to go from "Cassie" to "Cassandra" at age twelve when I decided I wanted to be called by my real name, thank you VERY much. I've mellowed on the subject since then and haven't murdered anyone for presuming to call me "Cassie" in at least seven or eight years. My parents named me Cassandra specifically so they could call me Cassie...but they didn't just go ahead and name me Cassie because they wanted me to have some options. (I could've gone with Sandy, even, I suppose...)
posted by Neofelis at 3:27 PM on February 19, 2009
1. I don't hate it as much as I used to, but I've never really felt like a Martha. Scullery maids in British period dramas are always named Martha. I loved the person I was named after (My grandmother Martha Frances), but even she went by her middle name. Add to that la Stewart, la Washington, and their ilk and the fact that I have the world's most boring last name, and eh, I don't love it. Also, I'm from the South and my middle name is Lee so I've always felt a bit traumatized by the swathes of people all over the country who think it's a great idea to call me Miss Martha or Miss Martha Lee, frequently in a terrible Scarlett O'Hara accent.
That said, many of my friends tell me all the time what a cool name they think it is. And there are a lot of great songs about Marthas, so maybe its a draw.
2. I hated Martha when I was 10. Loathed. Just try singing the Name Game (Martha, Martha, Bo-Bartha. . .) and you'll see why. I wanted to be Samantha and called Sam. I was always terribly jealous of people with good nicknames (Mart simply does not cut it).
3a. I like old fashioned names myself so long as they aren't as old fashioned as my own and have an interesting short form. I've always like Eleanor Frances or Penelope Frances with Ella as a nickname for either.
4. Think twice before intending to call a kid by their middle name. My brother James Abram identifies as Abram and has had no small part of confusion over being called James (a family name, for what it's worth) especially when he was young. It would have been different if he'd chosen it that way when he was old enough to get it, but as a kid, it baffled him. Like me, he regrets his name's poor nickname potential (he wants to be Abe no more than I want to be Mart) so nicknames, both good and bad, are important to keep in mind.
posted by mostlymartha at 3:30 PM on February 19, 2009
That said, many of my friends tell me all the time what a cool name they think it is. And there are a lot of great songs about Marthas, so maybe its a draw.
2. I hated Martha when I was 10. Loathed. Just try singing the Name Game (Martha, Martha, Bo-Bartha. . .) and you'll see why. I wanted to be Samantha and called Sam. I was always terribly jealous of people with good nicknames (Mart simply does not cut it).
3a. I like old fashioned names myself so long as they aren't as old fashioned as my own and have an interesting short form. I've always like Eleanor Frances or Penelope Frances with Ella as a nickname for either.
4. Think twice before intending to call a kid by their middle name. My brother James Abram identifies as Abram and has had no small part of confusion over being called James (a family name, for what it's worth) especially when he was young. It would have been different if he'd chosen it that way when he was old enough to get it, but as a kid, it baffled him. Like me, he regrets his name's poor nickname potential (he wants to be Abe no more than I want to be Mart) so nicknames, both good and bad, are important to keep in mind.
posted by mostlymartha at 3:30 PM on February 19, 2009
3) I want a girl I can call Izzie. Which probably means I'd name a kid Isabelle or Isabella. I'm leaning towards Isabella because I could also call her Bella. (And yes, I know Izzie's been made popular by Grey's Anatomy. I'm okay with that; I thought of it first, but I figure I could do alot worse than naming my kid a name made popular by a Katherine Heigl character.)
'Bella' might be more likely to make people think of Stephanie Meyer.
posted by box at 3:32 PM on February 19, 2009
'Bella' might be more likely to make people think of Stephanie Meyer.
posted by box at 3:32 PM on February 19, 2009
(my first name is Danae)
1. I love my name
2. I loved it when i was a kid, and enjoyed all the various ways people pronounced it (it's duh-nae). One year someone managed to mangle it into "Dancy" for my 4-H camp registration, so I spent a week being Dancy just for the fun of it. My name also got me really interested in Greek Mythology very young, and helped foster my love of reading. I never wanted any other name, apart from maybe Athena, my mom's second choice.
3. I'd want to name a daughter something equally unusual, and something with a history to it so she could discover her name the way I did. I've found that my name has helped me have a lot of conversations over the years, and that's a nice gift that you can give your kid.
posted by ukdanae at 3:32 PM on February 19, 2009
1. I love my name
2. I loved it when i was a kid, and enjoyed all the various ways people pronounced it (it's duh-nae). One year someone managed to mangle it into "Dancy" for my 4-H camp registration, so I spent a week being Dancy just for the fun of it. My name also got me really interested in Greek Mythology very young, and helped foster my love of reading. I never wanted any other name, apart from maybe Athena, my mom's second choice.
3. I'd want to name a daughter something equally unusual, and something with a history to it so she could discover her name the way I did. I've found that my name has helped me have a lot of conversations over the years, and that's a nice gift that you can give your kid.
posted by ukdanae at 3:32 PM on February 19, 2009
Oh, also, the "th" in Martha is very hard for many non-native English speakers to pronounce. It comes up at the strangest times. So depending on where you life and what kind of lifestyle you have, names with prominent "th" sounds might not be a great idea.
posted by mostlymartha at 3:32 PM on February 19, 2009
posted by mostlymartha at 3:32 PM on February 19, 2009
Avoid the trend of naming a girl some traditional last name (eg. Madison, Mackenzie, and misspellings thereof).
Yes, I hate that trend.
posted by jayder at 3:33 PM on February 19, 2009
Yes, I hate that trend.
posted by jayder at 3:33 PM on February 19, 2009
1. I love it. I have a rather ethnic name that stands out in the US, but I also have a pretty big personality to match. I can see how it'd be rough to have an unusual name if you were shy, but I often wonder how much of my personality came about because I had a name that stood out.
I think that my name has also helped me out professionally - my name is pretty notable, and hard to forget. It makes networking much easier.
2. I was a little self-conscious about my name when I was in elementary school, but I got through that phase and embraced my name very quickly. There's a couple of obvious ways to make a diminutive nickname out of my name, but I've never been fond of them and have discouraged their use.
3. I wouldn't be opposed to having a "Junior".
4. If your friend has any relationship with her ethnic heritage, tell her not to shy away from embracing it - it's worked out great for me.
posted by CRM114 at 3:33 PM on February 19, 2009
I think that my name has also helped me out professionally - my name is pretty notable, and hard to forget. It makes networking much easier.
2. I was a little self-conscious about my name when I was in elementary school, but I got through that phase and embraced my name very quickly. There's a couple of obvious ways to make a diminutive nickname out of my name, but I've never been fond of them and have discouraged their use.
3. I wouldn't be opposed to having a "Junior".
4. If your friend has any relationship with her ethnic heritage, tell her not to shy away from embracing it - it's worked out great for me.
posted by CRM114 at 3:33 PM on February 19, 2009
#4 don't give a kid a hyphenated last name. It's annoying for booking activities or really in most contexts. Also people think you're married if you're a woman.
posted by lorrer at 3:34 PM on February 19, 2009
posted by lorrer at 3:34 PM on February 19, 2009
Give your kid a name that isn't gender ambiguous. I was a tomboy when I was younger and my name is a boy's name as often as it's a girl's name and that led to a lot of embarrassing misunderstandings.
posted by martinX's bellbottoms at 3:34 PM on February 19, 2009
posted by martinX's bellbottoms at 3:34 PM on February 19, 2009
"Nic" is fine but I have to spell it for everybody, and since I have to spell my last name too it gets to be a pain. Also, "Nick Wolf" would be a good name for a secret angel.
posted by nicwolff at 3:35 PM on February 19, 2009
posted by nicwolff at 3:35 PM on February 19, 2009
Amelia here.
1) I love my first name. LOVE it. Find the fact that it's getting more popular kind of irritating, but hey, I don't interact with the pre-school crowd, so who cares?
2) When I was 10, I went through a brief phase of wishing I was "Samantha." Because, y'know, it was common. And I liked "Who's the Boss." That phase lasted all of, oh, 2 days.
In general, I love the fact that I have a fairly unique name within my generation, and that my mother chose my name because she wanted me to have the name of a strong, daring woman. I've never thought about what I might name future might-be kids, but I'd probably try to hit something that a) sounds strong (and therefore suits adults), b) isn't terribly common in the generation, and c) has a standard spelling. Everyone I know who has an alternative spelling applied to their name has found it an interminable pain in the ass.
posted by amelioration at 3:35 PM on February 19, 2009
1) I love my first name. LOVE it. Find the fact that it's getting more popular kind of irritating, but hey, I don't interact with the pre-school crowd, so who cares?
2) When I was 10, I went through a brief phase of wishing I was "Samantha." Because, y'know, it was common. And I liked "Who's the Boss." That phase lasted all of, oh, 2 days.
In general, I love the fact that I have a fairly unique name within my generation, and that my mother chose my name because she wanted me to have the name of a strong, daring woman. I've never thought about what I might name future might-be kids, but I'd probably try to hit something that a) sounds strong (and therefore suits adults), b) isn't terribly common in the generation, and c) has a standard spelling. Everyone I know who has an alternative spelling applied to their name has found it an interminable pain in the ass.
posted by amelioration at 3:35 PM on February 19, 2009
1. I like it. Easy, well-known, but not so popular anymore that it seems common. Is very popular in the UK but less known in the US.
2. I learned my dad wanted to call me Claire around that age, and it was my mum who won out in choosing the name I did get. I had thoughts of changing my name and adding Claire as a middle name.
I wanted to be called Stephanie when I was 10 which is a name I really dislike now.
3a. I have known the name I would call a daughter for a long, long time - Sarah. I decided this and then found out after the fact that it was both a name my late father in law loved and there are several relatives in my family with the name. I struggle with boy names, but I would probably choose Sam/Samuel for similar reasons.
I don't have children yet but this part is all worked out ;)
posted by wingless_angel at 3:36 PM on February 19, 2009
2. I learned my dad wanted to call me Claire around that age, and it was my mum who won out in choosing the name I did get. I had thoughts of changing my name and adding Claire as a middle name.
I wanted to be called Stephanie when I was 10 which is a name I really dislike now.
3a. I have known the name I would call a daughter for a long, long time - Sarah. I decided this and then found out after the fact that it was both a name my late father in law loved and there are several relatives in my family with the name. I struggle with boy names, but I would probably choose Sam/Samuel for similar reasons.
I don't have children yet but this part is all worked out ;)
posted by wingless_angel at 3:36 PM on February 19, 2009
Barry here.
I'm ambivalent about my name now. It's not terribly common, so if somebody yells "Barry!" in a theater, good chance they're talking to me. It's a fine name, I suppose, but "Maximus McKickassington (lastnamehere)" would have been better. A little strange on a business card, perhaps.
At the age of 10, it was the name of all the nerds in television and film. And me, who was also a nerd.
Look, there's nothing that you can think of which cruel little fourth graders will be unable to pervert in nasty ways. That is entirely beyond your control. We have tried to name our children with first names that are palindromes. This is because our last name is a palindrome, and it adds a little to the family narrative. We wanted to give them something unique and beautiful that would not mark them as extraordinarily strange. If they don't like them when they're older they can always change them.
The child is not the name. We do the best we can for them (as my parents did for me), and hopefully don't screw them up too much.
posted by Barry B. Palindromer at 3:38 PM on February 19, 2009
I'm ambivalent about my name now. It's not terribly common, so if somebody yells "Barry!" in a theater, good chance they're talking to me. It's a fine name, I suppose, but "Maximus McKickassington (lastnamehere)" would have been better. A little strange on a business card, perhaps.
At the age of 10, it was the name of all the nerds in television and film. And me, who was also a nerd.
Look, there's nothing that you can think of which cruel little fourth graders will be unable to pervert in nasty ways. That is entirely beyond your control. We have tried to name our children with first names that are palindromes. This is because our last name is a palindrome, and it adds a little to the family narrative. We wanted to give them something unique and beautiful that would not mark them as extraordinarily strange. If they don't like them when they're older they can always change them.
The child is not the name. We do the best we can for them (as my parents did for me), and hopefully don't screw them up too much.
posted by Barry B. Palindromer at 3:38 PM on February 19, 2009
Eleanor
1. I like it, and oddly enough, I get a lot of compliments on it from strangers. It's pretty uncommon for people my age-so I meet a lot of people whose grandmothers or daughters are named Eleanor. The Eleanors I do know that are around my age tend to band together in a sort of Eleanor-solidarity.
2. I couldn't pronounce it. I had trouble pronouncing vowels and the letter 'r' correctly, which meant that if someone asked me my name, I could accurately convey that it had an l and an n in it, but that was it. Needless to say, I wasn't happy with it. . . and since my parents hated the nickname Ellie, I ended up responding to anything from Elizabeth to Helena.
When I was a lot younger-around four, I decided to change my name to Quick and would only respond to that. That lasted until I entered kindergarten-the teachers were a lot less indulgent than my parents.
3. No clue.
4. If your kid can't pronounce their own name, give them a nickname they can pronounce. Seriously.
posted by dinty_moore at 3:40 PM on February 19, 2009
1. I like it, and oddly enough, I get a lot of compliments on it from strangers. It's pretty uncommon for people my age-so I meet a lot of people whose grandmothers or daughters are named Eleanor. The Eleanors I do know that are around my age tend to band together in a sort of Eleanor-solidarity.
2. I couldn't pronounce it. I had trouble pronouncing vowels and the letter 'r' correctly, which meant that if someone asked me my name, I could accurately convey that it had an l and an n in it, but that was it. Needless to say, I wasn't happy with it. . . and since my parents hated the nickname Ellie, I ended up responding to anything from Elizabeth to Helena.
When I was a lot younger-around four, I decided to change my name to Quick and would only respond to that. That lasted until I entered kindergarten-the teachers were a lot less indulgent than my parents.
3. No clue.
4. If your kid can't pronounce their own name, give them a nickname they can pronounce. Seriously.
posted by dinty_moore at 3:40 PM on February 19, 2009
1. Kirk. Used to it, but tired of people getting it wrong. I'm not Mr. Enunciation, so I understand getting Curt/Kurt, but how do I get Craig? Between Messrs. Douglas and Shatner it should be familiar enough, but I still usually give a more common name while waiting for takeout, etc. (I dated a second-generation Italian-American woman long ago, and her mom couldn't--or wouldn't--pronounce my name right. Kirk Douglas, no problem, though.) Also, Captain Kirk jokes/comments were old decades ago but I have to try to accept them gracefully.
2. Don't remember.
3a & b. If I had a son, I'd name him Tom, after my dad.
4. Don't give the kid a name he or she will get mocked for on the playground. If you are not an oldest child yourself (and thus adept at mockery), find someone who is and run the name past them. In addition to the many excellent suggestions above, please don't give the kid a name that rhymes with the last name.
posted by kirkaracha at 3:41 PM on February 19, 2009
2. Don't remember.
3a & b. If I had a son, I'd name him Tom, after my dad.
4. Don't give the kid a name he or she will get mocked for on the playground. If you are not an oldest child yourself (and thus adept at mockery), find someone who is and run the name past them. In addition to the many excellent suggestions above, please don't give the kid a name that rhymes with the last name.
posted by kirkaracha at 3:41 PM on February 19, 2009
1. How do you feel about your first name?
I love it! I don't know any other Alisons. But it's still not a "weird" name. I went to high school with a couple people of the same name, but they spelled it differently (Allison, Allyson). I prefer my spelling. Simple (no crazy Y business) but unique (everyone assumes 2 L's, but HAHA! One L!) And I like that Elvis Costello spells it the right way, and although my parents deny it, I like to think my name was inspired by the song (I was born the year it was popular, after all).
2. How did you feel about your when you were, say, 10?
The only thing I didn't like was that it was hard to find pencils, stickers, etc where it wasn't spelled with 2 L's. But I got over it. My family called me "Al". They still do. I like that I don't have a girly nickname. I went through an "Alie" phase in Jr. High, and I have only one friend that's allowed to call me that now. Because she won't stop.
3a. What would you call your (same gender) kid?
Sophia (I like it).
Susan (My mom's name).
Dorothy (I like it, even if it's a little old-school. It's common enough to be easy to spell, but not common enough that most people know 4 Dorothy's).
Dora (another family name, I love it. Although The Explorer has kind of ruined it, I think...not gonna have kids anytime soon, so I may be in the clear if/when I have any kids).
Alison Jr. (yep, I'm totally serious, why not? I wouldn't insist on the Jr.)
3b. If you have kids, why did you choose the names you did?
n/a, no kids.
4. / freeform What advice would you give future parents based on the experience you've made with your own name? (or of people you know, or just general naming wisdom like "beware of obscure brands" & whatnot)
Beware trendy/popular names (I know about a bajillion Jennifers, I was born in the late 70s). Close to trendy/popular is good though. For example: Jill/Jane from my age groups is nice. Jen? Everyone in their late 20s/early 30s is Jen. (No offense, Jens!) In general, I'd go for something that's recognizable enough to spell easily, but not so popular that there is a David J. and a David B. in the same classroom (we had a Danny C. And a Danny R. in my class...and to this day, 20 years later when I see him, I'm all "Hey! Danny R!" I can't help it.) And it's gotta sound decent with the last name, obviously.
posted by AlisonM at 3:43 PM on February 19, 2009
I love it! I don't know any other Alisons. But it's still not a "weird" name. I went to high school with a couple people of the same name, but they spelled it differently (Allison, Allyson). I prefer my spelling. Simple (no crazy Y business) but unique (everyone assumes 2 L's, but HAHA! One L!) And I like that Elvis Costello spells it the right way, and although my parents deny it, I like to think my name was inspired by the song (I was born the year it was popular, after all).
2. How did you feel about your when you were, say, 10?
The only thing I didn't like was that it was hard to find pencils, stickers, etc where it wasn't spelled with 2 L's. But I got over it. My family called me "Al". They still do. I like that I don't have a girly nickname. I went through an "Alie" phase in Jr. High, and I have only one friend that's allowed to call me that now. Because she won't stop.
3a. What would you call your (same gender) kid?
Sophia (I like it).
Susan (My mom's name).
Dorothy (I like it, even if it's a little old-school. It's common enough to be easy to spell, but not common enough that most people know 4 Dorothy's).
Dora (another family name, I love it. Although The Explorer has kind of ruined it, I think...not gonna have kids anytime soon, so I may be in the clear if/when I have any kids).
Alison Jr. (yep, I'm totally serious, why not? I wouldn't insist on the Jr.)
3b. If you have kids, why did you choose the names you did?
n/a, no kids.
4. / freeform What advice would you give future parents based on the experience you've made with your own name? (or of people you know, or just general naming wisdom like "beware of obscure brands" & whatnot)
Beware trendy/popular names (I know about a bajillion Jennifers, I was born in the late 70s). Close to trendy/popular is good though. For example: Jill/Jane from my age groups is nice. Jen? Everyone in their late 20s/early 30s is Jen. (No offense, Jens!) In general, I'd go for something that's recognizable enough to spell easily, but not so popular that there is a David J. and a David B. in the same classroom (we had a Danny C. And a Danny R. in my class...and to this day, 20 years later when I see him, I'm all "Hey! Danny R!" I can't help it.) And it's gotta sound decent with the last name, obviously.
posted by AlisonM at 3:43 PM on February 19, 2009
Raise'em to be half way decent and they'll come to love their name.
Just because I (and many other mefites) don't like my name, doesn't mean my parents didn't raise me well.
[my first name is Hazel]
I've only ever met 2 people with the same first name as me and they've both acted like we have some special 'bond' because of it. The first one was the secretary at my primary school, which was weird and creepy.
1. Hate it
2. Hated it - I wanted to be called Beverly *cringe* (I remember because we did this exercise at school with a substitute teacher)
3. Sam or Alex
4. Nothing named after anything (my sister is called Heather so combined with my name the gardening obsession of my parents becomes apparent)
Nothing to match another sibling (no sharing the first initial - I don't think my parents though that one through until we started getting letters addressed to Miss H Ryan)
Something that can be shortened nicely (my grandma didn't like 'nicknames' so we had to have names that didn't have shortened version, which inevitably meant our names got shortened to really lame things like 'H')
posted by missmagenta at 3:43 PM on February 19, 2009
Just because I (and many other mefites) don't like my name, doesn't mean my parents didn't raise me well.
[my first name is Hazel]
I've only ever met 2 people with the same first name as me and they've both acted like we have some special 'bond' because of it. The first one was the secretary at my primary school, which was weird and creepy.
1. Hate it
2. Hated it - I wanted to be called Beverly *cringe* (I remember because we did this exercise at school with a substitute teacher)
3. Sam or Alex
4. Nothing named after anything (my sister is called Heather so combined with my name the gardening obsession of my parents becomes apparent)
Nothing to match another sibling (no sharing the first initial - I don't think my parents though that one through until we started getting letters addressed to Miss H Ryan)
Something that can be shortened nicely (my grandma didn't like 'nicknames' so we had to have names that didn't have shortened version, which inevitably meant our names got shortened to really lame things like 'H')
posted by missmagenta at 3:43 PM on February 19, 2009
I have one of those super common names that are most commonly shortened. At 10, it was great, or at least I didn't care at all about it. As I got older, particularly in college and beyond, it's annoyed the hell out of me. Not because I hate my name, but I honestly (and I do realize that I am in the minority here) am confused like at least 50% of the time in new situations because I don't know what name to use, my formal, "real" name, or the name I actually go by, because do they need my name for official purposes? Or just to call me something. Obviously very basic social situations, this isn't the problem, but as I get older I have a significant number of situations that are work related, or semi professional... and I get confused, and then annoyed and embarrassed. And as often as people say "They can change it when they get older", it's hard to do, you'd have to be very proactive about it, and I don't want to fight people on what my name should be.
As far as naming your own children, you have to pick names you like. Your kids are going to be made fun of, regardless of what they will be. Someone, somewhere will be named that and be famous and bad. Being very creative and original creates as many problems as it solves. You just can't win. Because of my own opinions on nicknames, I refused to name my kid anything that could be shortened easily or at least commonly. This won't work for everyone, obviously, but you really have to focus on ruling out your biggest pet peeves and that's it. Perfect names are impossible : )
In general it's good to make sure the name doesn't mean anything bad in the predominate language you are in, and that is easily pronounced by people where you live and the rest of your family (for example, one of my friends had to take into account names pronounceable in both English and Brazilian Portuguese, as they live in America, but have family in Brazil).
posted by katers890 at 3:43 PM on February 19, 2009
As far as naming your own children, you have to pick names you like. Your kids are going to be made fun of, regardless of what they will be. Someone, somewhere will be named that and be famous and bad. Being very creative and original creates as many problems as it solves. You just can't win. Because of my own opinions on nicknames, I refused to name my kid anything that could be shortened easily or at least commonly. This won't work for everyone, obviously, but you really have to focus on ruling out your biggest pet peeves and that's it. Perfect names are impossible : )
In general it's good to make sure the name doesn't mean anything bad in the predominate language you are in, and that is easily pronounced by people where you live and the rest of your family (for example, one of my friends had to take into account names pronounceable in both English and Brazilian Portuguese, as they live in America, but have family in Brazil).
posted by katers890 at 3:43 PM on February 19, 2009
Katrina here.
I love my name. Even during the whole hurricane debacle when people made every joke imaginable, I loved my name. Even when people call me Katarina/Kristina, I politely correct them and love my name.
At 10, I loved my name. I was the only Katrina I knew and continued to be until college. It's not a strange name, but it wasn't very common. I only ever hated being called Kat. Trina is a family nickname, but I always have and will use the full version of my name.
I actually love my name enough I would like to name a child that. But I think it would lose something for them, having the same name as mom.
PLEASE SPELL IT NORMALLY. I worked in a daycare and there was a little girl named Katryna. I couldn't read her name w/o saying Ka-try-na. Y and I are not interchangeable, and cutesy spellings make everyone (or, well, people like me) think you're an imbecile.
Also I always felt kind of bad for my youngest brother. He had siblings named Kirrah, Katrina and Ross. And he was Sam. (named after my grandfathers, but still.)
posted by thisisnotkatrina at 3:43 PM on February 19, 2009
I love my name. Even during the whole hurricane debacle when people made every joke imaginable, I loved my name. Even when people call me Katarina/Kristina, I politely correct them and love my name.
At 10, I loved my name. I was the only Katrina I knew and continued to be until college. It's not a strange name, but it wasn't very common. I only ever hated being called Kat. Trina is a family nickname, but I always have and will use the full version of my name.
I actually love my name enough I would like to name a child that. But I think it would lose something for them, having the same name as mom.
PLEASE SPELL IT NORMALLY. I worked in a daycare and there was a little girl named Katryna. I couldn't read her name w/o saying Ka-try-na. Y and I are not interchangeable, and cutesy spellings make everyone (or, well, people like me) think you're an imbecile.
Also I always felt kind of bad for my youngest brother. He had siblings named Kirrah, Katrina and Ross. And he was Sam. (named after my grandfathers, but still.)
posted by thisisnotkatrina at 3:43 PM on February 19, 2009
1. I've made peace with it. I have fantasies about changing it but I'm too lazy to deal with convincing people to make the change, so, it remains.
2. Hated it. It's unusual and people say it incorrectly more often than not, even when they know better. At age 10, I wanted to be called Cathy or Debbie or Jenny like every other girl born in the 1960s. Now I tend to have aversions to names ending in -ie or y. No lasting traumas, though.
3a. Matilda Jane. She could be Matilda, or Matty, or Tilly, or Jane, and I'd be cool with any of those. Or whatever other name she came up with on her own.
3b. No kids.
4. Options. Give your kid options. I think having an unusual name is a lot more common these days than it was in my day, but not everybody grows up to fit their name. So, combine an unusual name with a more ordinary middle name, or the other way around. Or, choose a name that can be shortened, lengthened, nicknamed, or otherwise modified.
And, above all, make sure that the name doesn't rhyme with, or isn't slang for, anything that sounds like a body part or a bodily function. Kids can and will be cruel.
posted by chez shoes at 3:43 PM on February 19, 2009
2. Hated it. It's unusual and people say it incorrectly more often than not, even when they know better. At age 10, I wanted to be called Cathy or Debbie or Jenny like every other girl born in the 1960s. Now I tend to have aversions to names ending in -ie or y. No lasting traumas, though.
3a. Matilda Jane. She could be Matilda, or Matty, or Tilly, or Jane, and I'd be cool with any of those. Or whatever other name she came up with on her own.
3b. No kids.
4. Options. Give your kid options. I think having an unusual name is a lot more common these days than it was in my day, but not everybody grows up to fit their name. So, combine an unusual name with a more ordinary middle name, or the other way around. Or, choose a name that can be shortened, lengthened, nicknamed, or otherwise modified.
And, above all, make sure that the name doesn't rhyme with, or isn't slang for, anything that sounds like a body part or a bodily function. Kids can and will be cruel.
posted by chez shoes at 3:43 PM on February 19, 2009
1. My first name is fairly popular- everyone's heard of it, everyone knows how to pronounce it & what gender it refers to, but most places I go I'm the only person by that name there that day. It's a good level of popularity for that reason, I think- I never need to spell it or explain it.
2. I've never really minded my name, although I don't actually *like* it, either. It's fine. It's not too common and there's no easy way to make fun of it, and it doesn't suggest a particular social class or ethnicity. When I was younger I preferred tomboyish names like Jo, Alex, Meg, Nat.
3. I will give my kids names that are a little more unusual than mine. But not so unusual they're always explaining their name, and nothing that ties their identity too strongly to another person. For instance, I like the name Barack a lot, and I like BHO, but I don't know that I'd name my kid so obviously after a public figure.
Other considerations for me: I dislike names with ugly syllables hidden in them (jeSICKa, gRETCHen, MADdox), names that strongly associated with any particular social class (Amber, Tiffany, Mackenzie, Tanisha), names that evoke a particular country or region (India, Dakota), or anything with a meaninglessly weird & overwrought spelling (Caitlynne, Jhasminne, etc).
For girls' names, I like feminine sounding and yet grown-up, still strong and a little tomboyish or mysterious. Not too many fricative consonants in the middle (don't like Judy or Tomiko), and not too diminutive (don't like Katie or Mandy). I like Maya, Isla, Dayna, Ella, Marlys, Shiloh, Kiran, Drea, Robin.
For boys, I like sharp sounding, self-contained names that have distinct endings (not like Michael or Henry, which both sort of peter out at the end with indistinct ending sounds). I like names like Jackson, Darren, Chuck, Nick, Todd, Reuben, Lucas, Maxwell.
posted by pseudostrabismus at 3:44 PM on February 19, 2009
2. I've never really minded my name, although I don't actually *like* it, either. It's fine. It's not too common and there's no easy way to make fun of it, and it doesn't suggest a particular social class or ethnicity. When I was younger I preferred tomboyish names like Jo, Alex, Meg, Nat.
3. I will give my kids names that are a little more unusual than mine. But not so unusual they're always explaining their name, and nothing that ties their identity too strongly to another person. For instance, I like the name Barack a lot, and I like BHO, but I don't know that I'd name my kid so obviously after a public figure.
Other considerations for me: I dislike names with ugly syllables hidden in them (jeSICKa, gRETCHen, MADdox), names that strongly associated with any particular social class (Amber, Tiffany, Mackenzie, Tanisha), names that evoke a particular country or region (India, Dakota), or anything with a meaninglessly weird & overwrought spelling (Caitlynne, Jhasminne, etc).
For girls' names, I like feminine sounding and yet grown-up, still strong and a little tomboyish or mysterious. Not too many fricative consonants in the middle (don't like Judy or Tomiko), and not too diminutive (don't like Katie or Mandy). I like Maya, Isla, Dayna, Ella, Marlys, Shiloh, Kiran, Drea, Robin.
For boys, I like sharp sounding, self-contained names that have distinct endings (not like Michael or Henry, which both sort of peter out at the end with indistinct ending sounds). I like names like Jackson, Darren, Chuck, Nick, Todd, Reuben, Lucas, Maxwell.
posted by pseudostrabismus at 3:44 PM on February 19, 2009
Having a foreign name in an English speaking country (despite being born in the English country) was definitely difficult as a child. Kids would make fun of it, teachers would mispronounce it in the most brutal ways to the glee of the children, and generally having to spell out my name to people's confused faces on every occasion wasn't easy (crazy thing is my name isn't even difficult, Gabor has the same letter structure as David).
It's hard to say I wouldn't have preferred a slightly more simple name, but I can definitely say it has had a big part in the way I have grown up to feel strong as an individual. Just something to consider.
posted by atmosphere at 3:45 PM on February 19, 2009
It's hard to say I wouldn't have preferred a slightly more simple name, but I can definitely say it has had a big part in the way I have grown up to feel strong as an individual. Just something to consider.
posted by atmosphere at 3:45 PM on February 19, 2009
1. i hate it. it is old-fashioned and frumpy (for the record my real name is not jane).
2. when i was 10 i wanted to be called april, because that's my birthday month and i really liked TMNT? i'm glad i'm not 10 anymore.
3. i think if i were ever to have kids i'd name them after flowers or months of the year or what that weird mom did in that australian movie i saw one time - ruby, opal, etc.
4. there are always going to be those people who will use kathleen/kathy/katherine interchangeably, regardless of how many times you correct them. i guess you have to decide if you can live with it. sometimes it makes me want to hurl myself out the window.
posted by janepanic at 3:45 PM on February 19, 2009
2. when i was 10 i wanted to be called april, because that's my birthday month and i really liked TMNT? i'm glad i'm not 10 anymore.
3. i think if i were ever to have kids i'd name them after flowers or months of the year or what that weird mom did in that australian movie i saw one time - ruby, opal, etc.
4. there are always going to be those people who will use kathleen/kathy/katherine interchangeably, regardless of how many times you correct them. i guess you have to decide if you can live with it. sometimes it makes me want to hurl myself out the window.
posted by janepanic at 3:45 PM on February 19, 2009
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by Aquaman at 2:23 PM on February 19, 2009 [1 favorite]