How do I semi-politely tell people to leave my property when I am stressed?
February 9, 2009 5:41 PM Subscribe
How do I semi-politely tell people to leave my property when I am stressed? Mild PTSD but don't want to talk about it.
posted by anonymous to human relations (27 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
Two times in the past year, in two totally different continents, I have had similar problems, so I think it has something to do with me and will happen again. Both people are not native English speakers but have many years speaking English, but probably that has nothing to do with it (except maybe in their cultures they don't consider their actions rude).
What happens is that I'm at home and they show up unannounced and walk right into the property (or drive in, as the case may be).
I think "Oh, ok, how nice."
Then they come over and tell me something that angers me. In one case, the guy told me he was part of the neighborhood watch patrol and wanted my personal data for the police. In the other case, she told me she wanted to verify whether I was going to clean up something that the owner inaccurately claimed was a mess I'd made.
I know I over-react and that the people, though a little impolite, are not the worst people in the world. I overreact partly because I have moderate PTSD from being surprised and almost killed. I have it pretty much under control. I don't deck the "intruder" though it certainly runs through my mind. But my "brain" slows to a crawl.
I calmly said, "Please leave my property now." But both times this has been ignored and the person got more adamant about their little speech. It gets me even more worked up, and both times I have had to say "Leave my property Now. You didn't extend the courtesy of a call, now Leave." And both times I've had to repeat this about three times, at which the person leaves, and I'm sure tells the entire neighborhood that I'm a freak.
What I want is two or three sentences that I can memorize, so I don't need to think next time this comes up. I don't want to have to go into PTSD or my past, I just need a strategy to make the situation go away. Even if it's something like hearing a fake phone call, WHATEVER, just tell me what to do next time these people show up so that they will go away feeling like they've done their best and that even if I'm awkward, I'm not evil.
Thanks for the consideration.