Did my girlfriend cheat on me, or am I thinking too much?
February 2, 2009 4:42 PM Subscribe
I discovered my girlfriend recently went to the apartment of an ex lover to "hang out". Did she cheat on me?
posted by aussie_in_NY to Human Relations (48 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
OK, so I have been dating a girl seriously for three months now. Everything has been great. Amazing sex, lots in common, and we are spending a huge amount of time together.
A couple of weeks ago, I asked her out on a Friday night. She said she was busy that night, as she was meeting up with Friend X (a guy). Now, Friend X is a guy she has mentioned several times before, and happens to come from the same country as me. She has never offered to introduce Friend X. Anyway, late on that Friday night I call her to check up and she tells me she is drinking with Friend X in his apartment. It is obvious she has had a few drinks by this point. An hour or so later she gets in a cab and we later have a discussion. She says she is sorry for "causing a misunderstanding" and that the guy is just an old friend.
Days later, she leaves my apartment with her email account open on my computer. I notice several emails from this guy. (please, no admonitions about breaking her trust by reading her email.) From previous emails it is clear that until not long before meeting me she was in a fairly passionate sexual relationship with this guy. But was deeply unhappy because he would not commit.
Now here's the thing. I have no reason to suspect she has met this guy at all since we started dating, apart from that one night. And I don't think she has met him again since then. She appears totally happy with our relationship and I have no reason to doubt that.
But should I be worried? Could this have just been an innocent meeting to gain some closure before moving on with me? Am I right to be suspicious that she had to go to his apartment to do this? I am particularly interested to hear any girls' opinions on this aspect of it.