thems fightin' words
January 29, 2009 11:18 AM Subscribe
How do you & your SO stop big arguments before they start / if they've started, how do you calm down & make them stop?
posted by anonymous to human relations (29 answers total) 32 users marked this as a favorite
My SO & I are about to move in together and we’re just totally into each other. It's the sort of relationship we've both always wanted, and we've been together for a rad and loving eight months.
But our big, fiery and stubborn personalities mean our fights are of a Jerry-Springer level of intensity and drama. Normally, we’re quite good at talking things out, and are very gentle and considerate. But other moments, we just bristle at everything the other person says, and we can escalate almost anything to gigantic proportion.
Our query: have any of you have dealt with a similar trouble – have you fell in love with someone who’s as passionate/stubborn as you, and your fighting is Oscar-nomination worthy? & subquestions:
How do you deal with it?
What are your mechanisms for de-escalation?
How do you recover when you have a big-time clash?
How do you deal when each of you need different amounts of time to bounce back to normal?