Comments on: "This Wu album is PHAT!"

Question: "This Wu album is PHAT!"

AlbatrossJones — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 11:10:30 -0800

When I was 12, I did a good number of product reviews on Amazon. 10 years later, I'm embarrassed that someone might find my glowing reviews of (ugh) Eminem and Smash Mouth. I want to delete that Amazon profile (and subsequently all of the reviews), but I don't have the e-mail or password for that account--I wrote those back in the 28.8kbps dial-up days. NO RECOLLECTION WHATSOEVER. What can I do to get that account deleted?

:-(

By: rhizome

rhizome — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 11:48:01 -0800

Eh, a good review is nothing to be embarrassed about. I guess you could try emailing support.

By: PhoBWanKenobi

PhoBWanKenobi — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 12:25:01 -0800

I had a friend whose job it was to post (complimentary) blog entries about public figures so that less than kosher google results would show up lower on the search index. Most people won't click through more than the first several search results, so (while the info. was still out there, somewhere) people were less likely to come across this stuff in casual googling. If you can't delete the account, you could try something similar.

If it makes you feel any better, all sorts of bad fiction, written at 12 pops up when you google my old email addresses. It's probably best to just embrace who you are. So you once liked Smash Mouth. We were all in middle school once!

By: saturnine

saturnine — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 12:30:02 -0800

Dude. You were twelve. Give yourself a break!

Even if you could get the originals removed, they'd probably still show up via the internet archive. Be at peace with your past child.

By: Meg_Murry

Meg_Murry — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 12:33:48 -0800

I'm pretty sure that when I was 12 I wrote glowing reviews of every Hanson album somewhere or other on the internet. It has not, thus far, hurt me personally or professionally. Amazon reviews have dates, right? So even if someone recognizes your name, it's not as if they'll think you wrote the review recently. And, moreover, why are they reading customer reviews of Smash Mouth albums in the first place? Amazon customer service might be able to help you, but I wouldn't worry about it.

By: jayder

jayder — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 12:36:10 -0800

You can e-mail Amazon and they will delete the offending reviews. I know someone who did it. But I think it would be really cool of you to leave them up. I agree with everyone else who thinks you should give yourself a break.

By: jedrek

jedrek — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 12:45:42 -0800

I agree with... well, everybody else. I have spent a lot of time facepalming over old stuff I've written on the internet, especially usenet, but so what. Everybody has a past and hey, that Wu album probably was phat.

By: pazazygeek

pazazygeek — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 12:46:56 -0800

Someday Eminem and Smashmouth will be considered novelty, sorta-cool signs of the times and it will be kind of awesome that you were into them when you were a wee 12, and totally cool that your reviews of them come up when you are googled. All of their mainstream annoyingness will be completely forgotten as time ticks on. Ride it out!

By: escabeche

escabeche — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 13:07:26 -0800

At least you never posted to alt.tv.melrose-place like, um, my friend. Google Groups never forgets.

By: telstar

telstar — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 13:11:45 -0800

Relax. Don't do it.

By: getawaysticks

getawaysticks — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 13:26:57 -0800

nthing alt.tv.melrose-place. I was also quite active on alt.tv.ally-mcbeal. It's just another one of those things that I used to be into when I was younger. Not a big deal .

By: troybob

troybob — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 13:33:14 -0800

Well, you might have said good things about Smash Mouth to classmates and family members at the time, but you can't have their memories erased. Your quote in the yearbook might be from Eminem, but you can't have all copies redacted. And, you know, there's school pictures...

By: sektah

sektah — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 15:58:58 -0800

Mate, I sympathise. But XKCD has an answer for it.

By: dmd

dmd — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 18:49:41 -0800

I was 14 in 1992. My behavior on the internet back then earned me a permanent place in the net.legends FAQ. Writing a bunch of reviews you no longer agree with? Not that big a deal.

By: peter_meta_kbd

peter_meta_kbd — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 20:21:33 -0800

No surprise: Looks like MF has a pretty experienced crowd who have met their google shadows and come away from it stronger. I guess those who didn't win, aren't here posting cuz now they live in lurker's lair ;)

By: Mael Oui

Mael Oui — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 21:01:17 -0800

Ugh, I can relate. I did the same thing in college! You at least had the excuse of youth for your transgressions! There was no excuse for my rave reviews (and excessive use of the word 'faerie') of Tori Amos less than ten years ago! *hides my head in shame*

By: delmoi

delmoi — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 00:27:40 -0800

Just post a bunch of innocuous stuff under your real name so the more embarrassing things are buried. There was a guy on meta filter who's name became a meme after signing his posts here, who was basically doing that.

By: isoman2kx

isoman2kx — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 08:04:21 -0800

I'll just nth the idea to relax. Those are reviews that you wrote and at the time meant every word of them. If you don't think the same way 10 years later, no worries, lol. Hell, we all wrote those reviews back in the day. :)

By: jkaczor

jkaczor — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 09:45:14 -0800

Lessee - I have said some inflamatory things on usenet, public web-boards (I basically predicted 9/11 two weeks prior during a flame-war about a stupid virus) and was into 'war-driving' (even being interviewed in the media - heck, I got a consulting gig out of that publicity and even became friends with a few awesome authors)...

So far, AFAIK nothing has hurt me professionally - and - I use my real-name everwhere - always have. I stand behind whatever I said then and I will stand behind it in the future - even if I change my opinion or thoughts at a later date.

If someone doesn't want to hire me because of something I have said or done on the internet (positive review of something?), then oh well...

By: mikeh

mikeh — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 14:05:33 -0800

In another ten years, you might find it hilarious that you were mortified by things you did when you were twelve (you were twelve!) and find it ridiculous that you would connect this question to your real name.

By: epersonae

epersonae — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 16:53:16 -0800

Agreeing with all those suggesting that you give yourself a break. At some point it's good to accept all the different versions of yourself that you've accrued over the years.

There wasn't an Amazon when I was 12, nor even alt.tv.melrose-place (and WOW it's a good thing I didn't know about that in college!), but I do have this awesome time capsule which is a fantastic record of the incredibly weird person I was at 13. I think at 23 I would've been embarrassed by the contents, but at 33, I found myself somewhat more accepting. :)