How do I deal with a vengeful ex?
January 13, 2009 7:20 AM Subscribe
I don't know how to deal with my boyfriend intimidating me and making it impossible for me to move out my things.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (49 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
My boyfriend has always been very sweet, loving and giving until I told him I want to break up. Since then, he:
* Spread rumours about me to our entire circle of friends, thus exiling me. I don't want to tell them my side of the story, because that would require me to tell them he was lying and being spiteful. I don't want to cut him off from his friends or ruin his relationships. Plus, I cannot stand a minute more of drama.
* Gave notice on our apartment behind my back. Unfortunately the rental company doesn't allow more than one person on the lease, but I trusted him, so it didn't bother me so much. It's my registered address and I always pay at least half the rent (sometimes the full rent when he is in a tight spot). I'm now in financial trouble myself and have no driver's license, so I'm panicking about how I will move my things out.
* Went on MSN and told the three friends who didn't cut me off "If I catch you trespassing in MY apartment, I will call the police." I suspect he is bluffing, but those friends are now too scared to help me move out my things.
* Every time I try to talk to him about practical stuff like bills or when I can pack up my things, he refuses to talk about it and instead just makes a lot of hurtful remarks. When I ask him why he's acting like this, he says that I made him this way.
I'm so scared of him now and I've turned into a bundle of anxiety. I know he would never get physically violent or anything like that, but I still don't know what he might do and it scares me. Whenever I go there to try and pick some things up, he does all he can to intimidate me and it's so scary being alone with him.
I don't know what to do. I don't know how I'm going to move my things and I don't know how I'm going to manage to be there alone with him while I pack everything up. Isn't there anything I can do to just get him to leave for a day and move things out with my few remaining friends so this can be over with?