Did I blow my funny fuse?

January 8, 2009 7:36 PM

I don't experience butterflies in my stomach anymore, not even before important events such as job interviews. Normal?

I don't experience butterflies in my stomach like I did for the majority of my life. For instance: I go to a job interview and although I feel a bit tense and anxious, I don't feel that fluttery feeling I used to get in my stomach. And I used to feel it really strongly.

Not sure I miss them, not even sure why I need to know, except that I feel a bit robotic now before important events. I'm wondering if I "blew my funny fuse" for my adrenalin, although it seems unproven that adrenalin causes butterflies in the stomach.

Wondering if anyone else has lost this "ability", and if they have an explanation.

posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome to health & fitness (14 comments total)

have you been meditating? Are you on any medication? anyway, congratulations. As someone with an anxiety disorder, you have my profound envy.
posted by desjardins at 7:47 PM on January 8

Have you had a lot of major/stressful events? You may have just gotten good at coping with them to the point that you're no longer nervous. For example, I used to get absolutely terrified of asking girls out, and now I no longer get butterflies in the moments leading up to "Dinner Saturday?" I'm also at a point where speaking in front of groups only makes me very slightly nervous, instead of moderately. And soforth. You may just be, at this point, steely and confident.
posted by Tomorrowful at 7:48 PM on January 8

Have you had many job interviews....? I mean after a while they are really no big deal....i know it sound simple but the answer does not need to be complicated now does it?
posted by The1andonly at 7:52 PM on January 8

I have been terrified of heights and rollercoasters my whole life (I'm 27 now). Just over a year ago now, I went to Disneyland for the second or third time in my life. I know the rides there have nothing on other parks, but I noticed right off the bat that all the rides I'd been afraid to ride before elicited no fear from me. Then I went to California adventure, which has that California Screamin' ride which goes upside down and everything. I rode it without feeling a damn thing. I went to Knott's the next day and rode all of their coasters. Nothing.
This last weekend, I took another trip to California with my wife and we hit up 6 Flags. I rode every coaster and I never felt afraid once - not on the way, not in line, not on the ride. I've thought long and hard about how a life long fear could disappear seemingly without reason.
I still have no idea. *shrugs* So I guess I'm just chiming in to say I can relate, but I have no idea what it all means.
posted by Bageena at 7:59 PM on January 8

I think that happens naturally as one grows older, or at least it can. I can't be bothered to get nervous nearly as often as I used to.
posted by alms at 8:00 PM on January 8

I had a friend who is a nurse tell me that drinking too much coffee can lower your adrenaline reactions. Google that as you will (though I drink a ton and I still get nervous [and I'm 42, so age doesn't always help]).
posted by TochterAusElysium at 8:20 PM on January 8

I've lost the butterflies, too, but I have no explanation. I DO miss them, because I used to get them when anticipating something anxiety-producing yet awesome. Like going to swimming lessons or to the water slides - scary but fun!

I still have normal anxiety about stuff (like job interviews as in your example), but no fluttery feeling.
posted by peep at 8:25 PM on January 8

Normal.

I just interviewed today for a project outside my field and with little background for it. No butterflies.

I think that, as you grow older, your identity and security are much greater. I no longer walk into a job interview, date, or travel experience going "OMG what if I DON'T get this" or "OMG I'm so excited to get this it will make my life perfect!!11!" My life experiences have shown that, though these new ventures may be important to me, I am personally strong enough and established enough to survive happily regardless of the outcome. So the nervousness is simply not required. I just can't get quite that wound up about anything. Things work out well either way.

Used to be afraid of heights - that has moderated through exposure and through the strength training I needed to feel strong enough to manage working at heights. Used to be afraid of flying - one day, someone said to me dismissively "huh - you just haven't done it enough." I decided that was true and decided I just needed to fly a lot more. So I did. And now I have no fear of it and actually look forward to it.

As you get older, you just don't get that adrenaline response to the same degree. Look how much you've already been through, and you've surivived. Very few things make that much dent on your psyche - almost nothing I encounter, aside from the loss of loved ones, would threaten my identity or sense of security enough for me to get butterflies about it.
posted by Miko at 8:27 PM on January 8 [2 favorites]

I second what alms says. One of the benefits of getting older.
posted by larry_darrell at 8:37 PM on January 8

Yeah you're just older wiser and more confident. Funny thing is I'm having the opposite happen I'm getting more anxious as I get older, so I too envy you. In fact I'm going to make my own post about it and might have to link to this.
posted by 0217174 at 8:52 PM on January 8

It's experience. I used to get serious butterflies before giving presentations. I also got a major buzz off delivering a good one. Over time, the buzz started to leak into the prep and delivery, overriding the fears of screwing it up.

It's the shift from worrying about whether you can do something/it will go alright to knowing that you're perfectly capable and only weird things outside of your control might screw it up.
posted by Happy Dave at 2:41 AM on January 9 [2 favorites]

Acclimatisation, through a gradually increased exposure to the thing someone is frightened of, is the way phobia's are treated, fear and nervousness act through a a kind of kind of feedback loop — if you are nervous about something but do not approach it, the fear will feed off of itself, if you expose yourself to it, and that fact that the nervousness is irrational and needless it will start to go away.

It's certainly something I am familiar with. It got to the point when performing that there was no noticeable difference in my emotional state between being backstage and casually chatting to someone backstage and walking out to perform. Of it self this can be problematic, a little nervousness can help develop focus, and conversely over confidence can lead to a lack of concentration. It need not be so however. If you keep a basic awareness of your state, you can use calmness as an opportunity to develop focus and concentration when you need it. The same techniques you might use to calm nerves, say concentrating on your breathing, can also be use to develop focus when you are calm.
posted by tallus at 4:27 AM on January 9

I no longer have butterflies either, and I miss them. I still get plenty anxious about things, but I don't get that anticipatory feeling in my gut.
posted by solipsophistocracy at 11:30 AM on January 9

Wow, thanks for responses, I wasn't expecting that. I'm going to mark them all as best since this is my first question and I'm elated by the stellar answers.

I do drink a lot of coffee, plus I'm getting older, so it sounds plausible to me that events which used to warrant a nervous response no longer rattle me as much.

I did try meditation recently, but stopped.

Many thanks again - esp. for sharing your own stories.
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 1:36 PM on January 9