oneeighthundredauntbunny

January 2, 2009 6:23 AM

At my usually super-quiet night job, I've been approached by two suicidal-talking strangers in the past week and a half. It seems likely to happen again and I'd like to find some kind of basic training for what to say and do. I'm in NC.

mefimail if you'd like. thanks.

posted by auntbunny to human relations (11 comments total)

The standard operating procedure for social workers is to follow up with questions regarding whether the person has a plan to carry out the suicide and do they currently have the means to do so. If the answer to these questions is yes then an involuntary commitment to a mental health facility has to follow. Nobody should be involuntarily committed without clear and compelling reason to do so, so consider making that call very carefully. Once you place an emergency call for an involuntary commitment, it becomes a law enforcement matter. The person won't be taken to the crisis center in an ambulance, they'll be taken in restraints in the back of a police wagon. This can be a very traumatizing experience, and the level of empathy in the responding officers can vary wildly. Don't make this kind of decision without serious consideration.
posted by The Straightener at 6:37 AM on January 2

While admirable that you want to help, at the same time this is not your job. There are people trained to deal with this kind of situation. Unfortunately, your well-meaning actions could exacerbate the issues, and cause harm to yourself or the person you are trying to help or others.

I would gather as much information as I can such as help numbers, shelters that are open late and other practical information. If faced with the situation again, you can direct them to the experts.

Just stay calm if approached, "Hey, it seems like you might need some help. I want to help you. Have you heard of such-and-such? Would you like to talk to them?"
posted by typewriter at 7:01 AM on January 2 [1 favorite has favorites]

I agree with typewriter. Have some info handy, or even a card printed with phone numbers to give them. Offer to call on their behalf if needed. But that's about all you can do. Obviously, call the cops if anyone seems to be dangerous, but don't try to keep them there as your own safety may be compromised. Take note of the direction they are heading and write down a description to give to the police.

Years ago, I worked as a volunteer for a counseling hotline. Our instructions were to be a good listener and help people find their own solutions. But if anyone was suicidal, we had the police chaplain, a professional counselor, and a minister all on speed dial, and would call them without hesitation.

Kudos for caring enough to ask this.
posted by Fuzzy Skinner at 7:23 AM on January 2

I agree with typewriter & Fuzzy Skinner - get some resources handy to give to them. Connecting them to trained professionals is the result you want.

But, I also want to encourage you to get training for talking with suicidal people, since you seem interested. I recommend Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training (ASIST); here is some information about organizations in the NC area involved with suicide prevention that may also possibly be providing ASIST workshops.

Good on you for caring.
posted by never used baby shoes at 8:11 AM on January 2

This is an issue at my job and we first ask if the person plans on harming themselves. If they say yes, we offer them a suicide hotline. They don't have to take it. If they don't, there's nothing we can do to make them, but we've done our best by trying.
In all of the people who mention suicidal-type thoughts that I've talked to, when asked if they are planning on harming themselves, most say something like, "Oh god no. I could never do that." They're feeling really hopeless, and say things that could be construed as suicidal, but they in actuality are not planning on carrying out anything. Of course, there are some who really are suicidal, and fortunately, most of those people do take the referral to the suicide hotline (we get them in touch directly).
posted by fructose at 8:30 AM on January 2

The one time as a social worker that I had to deal with something similar (suicidal and homicidal threats), I called the local psychiatric ER, they sent an ambulance and a couple of trained people to escort my client out of my office and to the psych ER at the hospital. Traumatic, yes, but possibly slightly better than calling the police.
posted by banjo_and_the_pork at 9:17 AM on January 2

It's admirable that you want to get info on how to best to talk to suicidal people, and there's good answers above, but be sure you have someone to talk to as well (whether it family or friends or a professional or a helpline or a colleague).

It could be at the very least emotionally draining and at worst pretty traumatic to talk to suicidal people (depending on the content of the conversation and how fraught they are). And if they're strangers, who you probably won't see again anyway, it might prey on your mind whether they actually followed through and you might dwell on if there's anything better you could have said and the like.

(I used to volunteer for a mental health helpline; even with support of other volunteers and coordinators it was tough to not go home worrying about the people I'd talked with on my shift.)

Take care.
posted by Dali Atomicus at 9:27 AM on January 2

As mentioned above, if the answers to "do you have a plan?" and "do you have the means?" are both yes, then treat it as an emergency. A suicide hotline is often better equipped to deal with this than 911, so keep several numbers on hand. "Do you intend on harming yourself within the next 24 hours?" is a good question as well.

The answers are often no, fortunately. In that case a good follow-up question is "What are you doing after you leave here/tonight/tomorrow? Do you have somewhere to go where you can feel safe?" Thinking and talking through short-term plans can help defuse that sense of urgency that can accompany suicidal thoughts, and it can make a suicidal person feel a little more in control.

At which point it's a wise idea to give them a list of numbers, and have them promise to call one of them if they start feeling this way again.

I read How I Stayed Alive When My Brain Was Trying to Kill Me recently, and there's a lot in there that will help you in these situations.

I'm glad you want to help. I think suicidal ideation is more common than people realize, and because of the stigma so few people get help for it.
posted by Metroid Baby at 9:33 AM on January 2 [2 favorites has favorites]

If you do end up contacting the police, ask if they have any CIT (Crisis Intervention Team) officers available. Look here to see if your area has CIT police officers. CIT officers are police officers who are specially trained to work with individuals with mental illness, so it should be less traumatic for the individual involved.
posted by whatideserve at 9:48 AM on January 2

There's been a lot of good answers so far, but I also wanted to suggest checking in with your supervisor about this--it seems likely that this has been an issue in the past, and they might have some good local resources for you and/or tell you about any relevant policies the place you work for has.
posted by overglow at 10:21 AM on January 2

Sorry for not posting a response sooner. Thank you for the helpful answers. The three people I talked to IRL about these instances had absolutely appalling examples of what they would have said that pretty much shattered any regard I previously had for them.

Without elaborating on the setting and specifics of both situations, be assured I did not overstep and try to be something I'm not.
posted by auntbunny at 1:50 PM on February 6