Ideas for our first anniversary, or sweet things i can do for her in general

December 30, 2008 11:41 AM

I was wondering if anyone can give me any tips on relatively inexpensive things I can do for my GF on our first anniversary. We are both a couple years removed from college if that matters at all.... also, i am not really that romantic so maybe a few things i could do throughout the year to show i care about her. thanks for your help guys!
posted by l2yangop to human relations (13 comments total)

Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker, as the saying goes.

Seriously, get some flowers, make her some dinner, light some candles, drink some wine, and maybe rent a video like the English Patient or 28 Days Later.
posted by KokuRyu at 11:54 AM on December 30, 2008

The most romantic things guys have done for me over the years have been things that simply showed they were paying attention, and remembering. The most beautiful, cliched giant bouquet of roses is nothing compared to a single sunflower after a hard day at work, if she mentioned 3 months ago that sunflowers are her favorite. Chocolates are a valentine and anniversary standard, but it would mean a lot more to cook her favorite dinner meal without having to ask what it is. Even something small, like "They had these wind-up plastic penguin toys by the cash register, and it reminded me of how much you liked March of the Penguins when we saw it together, so I got one for you" is great.

The secret to this, though, is that you have to pay attention all through the year. When she talks about those great cookies her grandma used to make that she hasn't had in years, or when she mentions that she loved to ice skate as a kid, or when she says "I've always wanted to see these guys in concert" as some random band plays on the radio -- take mental notes. Write them down as soon as you're in private, even.

The gift is not the thing. The gift is that you listened, and that you remembered, and that her happiness is something that is on your mind even in the little moments.
posted by vytae at 11:57 AM on December 30, 2008 [22 favorites]

footrub! or any kind of rub! Especially when done without thinking "OK, is it time to have sex yet?" It's such a simple thing to do, even just for 10 mins, once every couple of weeks, and it makes girls (and guys) feel so good knowing that the person you're with does things like this to make you feel good.
posted by KateHasQuestions at 11:59 AM on December 30, 2008

"also, i am not really that romantic so maybe a few things i could do throughout the year to show i care about her."

Write her letters. Maybe one every couple of months, telling her how you feel about her and what your hopes and dreams for your futures are.

Also, remember it doesn't need to be a special occasion to give her presents. And presents don't need to be expensive either. They can be as expensive as a trip to a nice restaurant with some other goodies thrown in, or it can be as simple as buying her some chocolates or hiring some bikes for a ride through the park, stopping maybe to pick her a flower.

Make, don't buy, her a card for your anniversary.

Wake her up sometimes by planting kisses all over her body, and then, when she least expects it, full body massage.

Make her dinner. Have candles and music playing softly in the background. Maybe this could be where you present her with one of your letters?

What did she study at college? Maybe you could get a copy of her final paper and frame it, or do something else related to her course.

It's really not that hard. Good luck!
posted by Effigy2000 at 11:59 AM on December 30, 2008

Figure out what she hates to do... dishes, balancing the checkbook, cleaning that pan under the refrigerator... and do that for her without being asked.

Always works for my wife!
posted by Hugh2d2 at 12:09 PM on December 30, 2008 [5 favorites]

One time I stayed late at a then-GF's place because she had a very early work assignment. I left a note on the phone basically saying that her place seemed a lot larger without her in it. I really wasn't thinking much about it, I just wrote it down. Several weeks later, I happened to glance at her phone and saw the sticky note still on there. I asked about it and she said "That things been blown off, knocked off, you name it. But it still goes back on the phone."

Anyway, I suggest you write her a little note each day for a week before the big day.
posted by Ironmouth at 12:11 PM on December 30, 2008 [1 favorite]

if you're doing anything involving covering any area with flower petals, here's a protip- some flowershops will have tons of petals that are still fresh that they throw out. poke around and see whether you can simply pick them up.
posted by assasinatdbeauty at 12:11 PM on December 30, 2008

also, i am not really that romantic so maybe a few things i could do throughout the year to show i care about her.
This is where attention to detail is crucial. What's her favorite color? Does she like stuffed animals, or horse statues, or some other collectible? Does she have an affinity for, say, gel pens or flavored coffees or a certain type of inexpensive jewelry? Mr. Adams noticed early in our relationship that purple was my favorite color, and that I liked small, cutesy stuffed animals and office supplies, so every once in a while he surprises me with a something like a sparkly purple gel pen or a tiny stuffed panda bear just because he saw it at the bookstore or wherever and thought I'd like it. Also, when he's away at work, he always calls me at least once just to say "Hi, how're you doing, I'm thinking of you."
posted by Oriole Adams at 12:37 PM on December 30, 2008

The most romantic things guys have done for me over the years have been things that simply showed they were paying attention, and remembering.
The gift is not the thing. The gift is that you listened, and that you remembered, and that her happiness is something that is on your mind even in the little moments.

Figure out what she hates to do... dishes, balancing the checkbook, cleaning that pan under the refrigerator... and do that for her without being asked.

Nthing both of these to the THOUSANDTH degree. My boyfriend got me a scarf, hat and glove set for Christmas. Not very romantic, perhaps. But I had just lost my hat a week before, and hated my gloves. It's the kind of thing I hate to buy for myself. He noticed, and he took care of it for me.

It's about paying attention to your girlfriend and what she likes and dislikes, what she mentions in passing and what no one else would notice about her. When you buy or make something or write a note about one of those things, it becomes a gift worth much more than the sum of its parts.
posted by peanut_mcgillicuty at 1:01 PM on December 30, 2008 [1 favorite]

I love it when my boyfriend comes home out of the blue with wine and something nice for dinner. Or flowers. Or chocolate. Whatever...it's just something small and it means he went out of his way on his way home from work to bring something just for me. It also works when I ask him to pick up something that we need to make dinner, and he throws my favorite wine in the bag.

Anniversary gifts that have really taken the cake: a hardback edition of my favorite book, a membership to Barnes & Noble (I'd always wanted one but never wanted to spend the money on myself), a handdrawn picture of me. Like everyone said above, whatever shows that you've been paying attention this whole time.
posted by messylissa at 1:52 PM on December 30, 2008

The secret to this, though, is that you have to pay attention all through the year. When she talks about those great cookies her grandma used to make that she hasn't had in years, or when she mentions that she loved to ice skate as a kid, or when she says "I've always wanted to see these guys in concert" as some random band plays on the radio -- take mental notes. Write them down as soon as you're in private, even.

This is an excellent suggestion, but to add a bit: If you're out together somewhere, pay attention to things she picks up.

My wife has a habit of looking at things she wants and not buying them because she tries to be frugal or feels like she doesn't "need" them at the time. I make a point of remembering these things for gift ideas later on.

Also, at my house, surprise flowers are always a winner.
posted by Fleebnork at 2:35 PM on December 30, 2008 [1 favorite]

If you're doing chocolate, try to find the kind of chocolate that she likes. But don't get it for her if she's dieting or doing something else that will make her feel guilty about eating it.
posted by NoraReed at 3:23 PM on December 30, 2008

Nthing what vytae said. But what if you've forgotten what she said this year? AHHHH!?

As Fleebnork said, surprise flowers are always awesome. Props if you know what her favorites are. If you don't know, figure out what her favorite color is (or what color she looks hottest in) and get her a nice small bouquet in that color. I love Seaport Flowers here in Brooklyn, and a good florist can do something nice with any budget.

Or get a plant. Orchids are really pretty awesome, you can buy them pretty inexpensively (ahem... Trader Joe's), they are really easy to care for and their flowers last for months. As an up side, you guys get a plant.
posted by abirae at 4:02 PM on December 30, 2008