Whisky related funnies?

December 17, 2008 4:41 AM

I need a short, amusing whiskey related quote to have engraved on a glass as a present for my Dad. He's not a big drinker (so no 'drunk' quotes) but he does like a glass of good whiskey.

The quote has to be limited to 50 characters, so that's really limiting my choices. So far I've only found 2:

1. What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for
2. I can resist everything except temptation

It doesn't have to be a quote from a specific person - any funny phrase or saying would do

posted by missmagenta to food & drink (26 comments total)

How about the definition of my favourite word in any language?

Sgriob (Gaelic): the itchiness that comes upon the upper lip just before taking a sip of whisky


It's a bit too long, but I'm sure you can find a way to cut the definition down a bit and keep the meaning.
posted by metaBugs at 4:52 AM on December 17, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

“Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?”- W.C. Fields


(I wish this one fit, but it doesn't: “Too much of anything is bad, but too much of good whiskey is barely enough.”- Mark Twain)
posted by Mouse Army at 4:57 AM on December 17, 2008

In Scots Gaelic, the word for 'cheers' is 'Slaandjivaa', meaning 'to your health'
posted by adamvasco at 5:06 AM on December 17, 2008

"Malt does more than Milton can to justfify God's ways to man." AE Housman was really talking about beer, but Irish whiskey and Scotch both use malted barley for all or part of their grain. Even bourbon uses some.
posted by mollweide at 5:12 AM on December 17, 2008 [2 favorites has favorites]

Oops, justify, that is.
posted by mollweide at 5:16 AM on December 17, 2008

Just to clarify, 'slaandjivaa' is actually spelt "Slåinte".

No, I don't understand why either.
posted by Happy Dave at 5:24 AM on December 17, 2008

Slaandjivaa is the phonetic spelling. In Gaelic it's written like this: Slàinte mhor.
posted by jonesor at 5:25 AM on December 17, 2008

First up if your dad likes whisky then it is worthwhile to note if he prefers Scottish or Irish as this will alter the spelling you will put on the galss- Whisky for Scots, Whiskey for Irish; means a lot to some folk that you get it right.

If Scots then a Burns Quote such as 'Wi usquebae [whisky] we'll face the de'il' is a good one from the quite 'Wi tipenny ['beer' I think] we fear nae evil/ Wi usquebae we'll face the de'il'
posted by Gratishades at 5:38 AM on December 17, 2008

The two quotes from the OP work, but I have to say I really like that Sgriob definition. I know that feeling and am quite pleased to know there is a word to describe it. Thanks metaBugs!
posted by wile e at 5:40 AM on December 17, 2008

It's not whisky specific, but it's short: Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
posted by macadamiaranch at 6:09 AM on December 17, 2008

"I like my women how I like my whiskey: twelve years old and mixed up with coke."
posted by Jon_Evil at 6:24 AM on December 17, 2008 [3 favorites has favorites]

"Here's looking up your old address", if your dad is old enough to remember Henry Blake on M.A.S.H.
posted by chazlarson at 6:27 AM on December 17, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

“Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.” W.C. Fields
posted by jefeweiss at 6:50 AM on December 17, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

"Civilization began with distillation." -Faulkner

"Working is the curse of the drinking class." -Wilde

"Drinking is a way of ending the day." -Hemingway
posted by juliplease at 6:51 AM on December 17, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

"I spent most of my money on whiskey and women. The rest I just wasted."
posted by Joe Beese at 7:21 AM on December 17, 2008

"A gentleman, a scholar, and a good judge of bad whiskey."
posted by ottereroticist at 7:36 AM on December 17, 2008

jonesor, slàinte mhath is more commonly used, and is as the phonetic version.

Sadly, sgriob just means scratch.
posted by scruss at 7:51 AM on December 17, 2008

"Freedom and Whisky gang thegither!" —Robert Burns
posted by ocherdraco at 7:54 AM on December 17, 2008

God invented whiskey to keep the Irish from ruling the earth.
posted by Soliloquy at 8:01 AM on December 17, 2008

"I Like my whisky old and my women young. " - Errol Flynn
"Whisky is liquid sunshine." - George Bernard Shaw
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 8:09 AM on December 17, 2008

scruss: Damn. I've heard my definition from a few sources (and a few more crop up on google) but all unattributed. I've never knowingly met a gaelic speaker to ask, so I always feared that it might be too good to be true.

missmagenta: I assume you've already found these pages?
My favourites from a few minutes' googling is "Friendship is like whisky: the older the better", which just fits.
posted by metaBugs at 10:03 AM on December 17, 2008

"What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for.”

"If we can't break the ice, how about we drown it?”
posted by piratebowling at 10:08 AM on December 17, 2008

Look out teeth, look out tongue, look out stomach here it comes!
posted by cosmac at 11:44 AM on December 17, 2008

Of all the things that won't help a cold, whiskey is the best.
posted by Class Goat at 1:03 PM on December 17, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

metaBugs, I think we can all assume she has seen the first link, because we are soaking in it..
posted by JonnyRotten at 1:41 PM on December 17, 2008

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
- Ernest Hemingway
posted by axismundi at 2:03 PM on December 17, 2008