Neighbor dating drama conundrum!
December 12, 2008 5:06 AM Subscribe
All's fair in love and war? A guy I am dating has pitted me against my neighbor, do I ditch him?
posted by anonymous to human relations (26 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
So I met this great guy and we really hit it off, you know all that sort of stuff. I felt a lot of chemistry with him and I was so happy that I had met someone who enjoying doing the same things I do. Problem was that when we started dating I was going away for some time. When I left he said he would miss me, but we didn't really ever talk about exclusivity because it had only been a week.
We live in a strange little place out in the country with about 500 other students. It's kind of isolated and drama is admittedly rampant. Apparently, while I was gone he had a little fling (involving sex, of course) with a next door neighbor (I have about 16 of those) while I was gone. He made it clear to her that it wasn't serious, but she developed feelings for him and when he told her that he couldn't see her anymore because he wanted something serious with me, she was pretty angry. He claims that he always made it clear that this was a fling, but she thinks he lead her on.
This neighbor and I aren't really friends, but we have some common friends and they all tell me to not resume dating him even though before this incident some of them told me that we were perfect for each other. On one hand I think it's pretty sleazy to date my neighbor while I'm gone, but on the other this place is pretty weird and I and many other victims/residents here have done similarly sleazy things that we wouldn't normally do because it's a little crazy here. Also, we didn't have an commitment when I left and well...everyone is a neighbor here.
I really like this guy and he now wants to be exclusive. We had also planned a trip and everything is all booked...and I was really excited because there is so much we wanted to do together that my past boyfriends never would have done. And while this group of girlfriends is nice, I haven't been friends for them very long and during this time they haven't really had my back (left me alone after I drank heavily, etc.), so I'm not sure I want to sacrifice a potentially good relationship for them. Both this guy and I come from a different country and we are going back there in four months.
Ack, I'm really torn about this because I know this place is insane and makes people do crazy things, but I'm also a little worried about what this says about his character. Should I tell him I can't date him anymore?