Merry Birthday

December 10, 2008 8:10 PM

What can I start to do now to make my wife's Xmas birthday better.

I am crap. I'm bad at getting organized for Christmas and I am in deep having married a woman who has her birthday the same day. I need some simple suggestions on things I can start doing to make sure that my wife gets a birthday celebration during Christmas day. My first thought is.. Is there a frozen birthday cake I could buy tomorrow and put in the chest freezer? That would be a start..

posted by Frasermoo to human relations (16 answers total)

Honestly, I would order a cake to pick up right beforehand. If you make a big dinner for Christmas evening, what about making her favorite food for breakfast?

Having a birthday on January 1, I am just always really grateful when people acknowledge my birthday, instead of being all "Oh, this is for Christmas AND your birthday." Whatev. Not that I necessarily want gifts, but I felt cheated out of my birthday a lot of the time, especially when I was a kid. Having someone make a point to focus on my birthday for a little bit always means a lot.
posted by sugarfish at 8:23 PM on December 10, 2008

Maybe you could decide to celebrate Christmas on the 24th (do all your Christmas presents then, including opening gifts from family and friends). You could some really "Christmasy" things -- maybe go caroling or ice skating or something. Then, the 25th is all about her birthday.

As for a birthday cake, if you're looking for an ice cream cake, you can find that at any ice cream shop (in US, Baskin Robbins or Dairy Queen would definitely have them, but I'm not sure if they have those in Canada). But you she may not want ice cream in the winter. Maybe you could do something like a chocolate tart, which is super easy to make and (in my opinion) better than cake.
posted by rossination at 8:24 PM on December 10, 2008 [1 favorite]

If you are unable to get her that Harry Winston choker, or that trip to Biarritz, make her something that shows how well you know the things she likes. Take one of those old projectors and screen her favourite movie in an unusual place, or make her something from her favourite book, or you can start small, like, trying to make a 3-layer designer cake yourself... something original...even something from an inside joke would be sweet.
posted by johannahdeschanel at 8:31 PM on December 10, 2008 [1 favorite]

My mum's b-day is the 25th.

Whatever you do, celebrate the birthday separate from the holiday.

Celebrating the birthday on another day (the month before, the week before, the day before, just not after. it makes you look forgetful) always went over well.
Have a cake (make your own, empty calories are even more empty if there isn't any personal effort behind them.).
If the presents need wrapping, do not use anything that even resembles Christmas paper.
posted by Seamus at 8:46 PM on December 10, 2008 [2 favorites]

Also in the card note that you'll be privately celebrating her half birthday. Then make June 26th all about her.
posted by 26.2 at 8:58 PM on December 10, 2008

give her a surprise birthday celebration a few days before her birthday - most people move their birthday parties to the nearest weekend anyway, so do hers on the saturday before.
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 10:37 PM on December 10, 2008

I have dear friends with a birthdays on Dec. 22nd and 25th and a husband with a birthday on Dec. 23rd. Here is what I've learned. Never, ever, ever combine Christmas and birthday presents. Wrap Christmas and birthday presents in the appropriate papers. The woman with the birthday on the 22nd, for example, even approved when we used the comics section of the paper for her birthday wrapping since it was festive, recycled/recyclable, AND NOT EFFING XMAS PAPER! Also, if you have any amount of time before the official Christmas holiday, acknowledge the birthday ahead of time, tell them a plan for a slightly belated or alternate birthday celebration (dinner out, drinks, whatever), and then follow through. Also, last year, when my husband and I were trying to finish the last-minute shopping for the kids on his birthday and were leaving the toy-stripped Target to go to Toys-R-Us, I spotted a great sushi restaurant that we'd not tried yet. "How about a birthday meal right now with beer?" I asked. I'm not usually that spontaneous, and it was a happy surprise for him. The place was dead. We got chef's choice at the sushi bar, a surprise extra beer to share due to the waiter's (a student I had known from my work who was just in town temping for the season) "mistake," and it was really, really good. I treated, of course, and the rest of the shopping adventure was a lot more fun.

I also like the idea of the surprise birthday party the weekend before, if you can swing it.
posted by lilywing13 at 12:23 AM on December 11, 2008 [2 favorites]

The worst thing about a Christmas birthday, in childhood, is how many cop-out "combination birthday/christmas" presents one receives. It's a safe bet that your wife suffered this very sad (to a youngster) fate, so recognize and "make up for" that. It'll probably make her laugh.

So whatever you do for her, make sure it's clearly either a birthday or clearly a Christmas thing, and divide the time properly. If you buy her presents, make them very different. Wrap one in BIRTHDAY PAPER*, and give it to her at a different time, perhaps with the whole cake celebration. Make a big deal out of "no, no, that was your Christmas present this morning. It's your birthday now. We'll go back to Christmas later."

She will probably appreciate that you're making a big deal out of the distinction. :)

* Oh the sadness of getting birthday presents in christmas paper and realizing you're just an inconvenient add-on to the holidays for some people. Oh the horror.
posted by rokusan at 3:34 AM on December 11, 2008

As another person with a birthday on the 25th, I want to mention that I have rarely in my life had a birthday party, but they do look like fun when I go to other people's.

When I was a kid, I sometimes got to have a party a week or so before Christmas. I've always spent the day with my extended family. We have birthday cake after Christmas dinner. Maybe I do get actual birthday gifts from people who might otherwise just send a card just because they happen to see me on my birthday.

I think it's just really hard to schedule another event around that time of year and even harder to avoid making it Christmas themed--you invite friends to do something, but maybe they haven't seen each other yet around Christmas so they end up exchanging Christmas presents at your else's birthday party, etc. I think just doing something nice for her after Christmas, just the two of you, and avoiding Christmas-anything on that day is pretty good.
posted by hydropsyche at 4:08 AM on December 11, 2008

Since you're not organized for Christmas anyway, announce that you will be celebrating Christmas January 7th - the date when it is celebrated by many Eastern Orthodox religions. Then you can focus your time on birthday planning from now until the 25th.

Although you will be a bit more limited in venue choice, you should plan a complete birthday schedule for the 25th. Yes get a cake (frozen now, ice cream cake or pickup the 24th from a bakery) and make sure you will have any groceries you need ahead of time since stores will be closed that day, etc.

Then on the 26th, start getting ready for the Christmas. If you like to go to church on Christmas you can find an Eastern Orthodox church in your area and attend on the 7th.

If your wife likes how this turns out, you can do it every year.

this idea possibly void if you have young excited children
posted by mikepop at 5:52 AM on December 11, 2008 [1 favorite]

My birthday is the 23rd. Separate paper for birthday and Xmas presents, please.

Moving the celebration to the weekend before has a few potential problems. I will share my experience:

* It's Christmastime. People intend to come to your party but bail, because they're booked solid with holiday parties and then the night of yours they have to drop by the office party and then they're exhausted/drunk/wevs. I gave up on having parties a long time ago, because they were fraught with disappointment. As long as my best friend and my honey are with me, I'll be a lovely birthday.

* I am now obligated to recognize "the Christmas Season" from mid-November onward. Can we put in hold for a few hours on my actual birthday? Sheesh.

I love the idea of making Xmas eve your big Xmas holiday. It's not particularly untraditional -- lots of families do the most important Christmas stuff -- open presents/go to church/have a big supper -- on Xmas Eve. And then make the day of the 25th Her Birthday, with a luxurious brunch and special daytime plans for her birthday.

(You're going to have to plan ahead for this every year, though. There's no way around that.)
posted by desuetude at 6:39 AM on December 11, 2008 [1 favorite]

Whichever of the above you do--and I like making all the Xmas stuff the 24th and her birthday the 25th--throw her a surprise party on her half birthday. The suckiest part of being around Christmas is that you never get to have the party that most people can come to and that is all about you--ever. And it makes you bitter about birthdays: all those people in April or whatever get to have their special day and you are eternally inconvenient. So give her a real party in June.

December 20, here.
posted by dame at 7:04 AM on December 11, 2008

Here's a different take, and it TOTALLY depends on your wife's attitude, so tread lightly. I have a post-Christmas birthday (early January), and even though I usually don't have a big party (everyone is partied out after the holidays) I still get great birthday gifts because everyone shops the after-Christmas sales. If your wife doesn't mind waiting to celebrate her birthday for week or so, you can do a big thang on New Year's for her, AND you can leave the shopping until after Christmas, and get her something you might not otherwise be able to afford.

I realize this makes me sound very materialistic*, and it's really the thought that counts, and yadda yadda. I definitely defer to those people who have actual Christmas birthdays. But I thought I'd throw that out there.

*I'm not really. Really!
posted by SuperSquirrel at 7:17 AM on December 11, 2008

Just an opposing data point from dame and a few others -- I flirted with celebration of half-birthdays when I was a kid, but generally my adult opinion of celebrating my half-birthday has steadily been moving from a mehward direction towards a position of "WTF, no."

I loooove summertime, and will happily have a party in mid-June because I love mid-June and love having people over, but it has fuckall to do with my birthday.
posted by desuetude at 8:54 AM on December 11, 2008

I have a Christmas birthday, and I have to nth the NO CHRISTMAS PAPER EVER PLEASE sentiment. (Which, of course, when I was younger prompted my brothers to always wrap my birthday presents in Christmas paper so they could watch me get angry.) Also, no birthday presents under the tree, no Christmas cards with "happy birthday too!" as a postscript, and no Christmas-baby you-must-be-the-best-present-ever quips because we've heard it all. (My first name, however, does sound good with a -mas suffix, so I'm cool with that.)

How my family does it: Christmas dinner is on Christmas Eve, Christmas presents and breakfast are on Christmas morning, and then the afternoon/evening is birthday time. I like that arrangement.

However, this doesn't work so much if the birthday girl wants to do anything involving going out or socializing.

A few years ago, I decided that since there were twelve days of Christmas, it would be so cool to have TWELVE DAYS OF BIRTHDAY. I've never implemented the plan, but it would be a great way to get any birthday parties/dinners/spa treatments that you couldn't do on the 25th. If you go with this theme, I'd recommend calling up a swank bakery and ordering a dozen different cupcakes for her, one for each day. (Maybe they freeze well, or maybe they can arrange something where you pay for all twelve upfront and pick them up over the course of twelve days?)

Also, if you're looking for a freezable cake, ice cream cakes are surprisingly easy to make:
1. Make a cake-mix cake in a rectangular pan.
2. Cut one of those rectangular boxes of ice cream (any flavor) in half and plop it on top, trimming any excess cake.
3. Throw the whole thing in the freezer for a couple hours.
4. Take a smaller tub of smooth ice cream (about a quart) out of the freezer for about 15-20 minutes until it gets soft but not completely melted; stir until it has the consistency of thick frosting.
5. Take the cake back out and spread the melted ice cream all over like frosting; throw back in the freezer for at least a few more hours.

Finally, one of the good things about having a Christmas birthday is you can get out of any Christmas cleanup you want (extra good in a household with several kids). The more Christmas and post-Christmas chores you can take care of for her, the better.

But yeah, start now! Hope your day (or days if you choose to extend the celebration) are special.
posted by Metroid Baby at 12:44 PM on December 11, 2008

As a fellow 'Christmas Baby'... I say fuck you Xmas.
It's bullshit.
Just do all the normal b'day things that everyone else gets to enjoy. You wouldn't believe how special and thrilling that makes things.
(*grumbles* and fuck Xmas.)
I would much prefer someone to say "It's for your b'day. Fuck Xmas!" (...hell yeah) than "It's for both." (...right. Ok well here's just one present.. and it's for all of you guys :D

But really this could work in your favor. Do away with Xmas... Does she know you can do that? It's the Xmas rule - unfortunately you just have to do certain things on your b'day. So you always get to have 'special b'day plans'... that prevent you from attending stupid shit you do not want to go to. Ehh? :)
posted by mu~ha~ha~ha~har at 2:09 PM on December 11, 2008