Should I ignore my ex friend with Benefits Birthday tomorrow?
December 6, 2008 6:22 PM Subscribe
Should I ignore my Ex - Friend with Benefits Birthday tomorrow? And how speak to him after that after that?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (12 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
All my story is already explained on my last question threads, basically I managed to moved out from a difficult situation in which I found myself cared of, but rejected.
Still this person gets in touch with me ocassionaly and ask me about my life. I still got his keys from his flat , where I used to live before the "breaking up ", and I think he does'nt want to lose me as a friend.. but I can't guess what is in his mind, probably he feels guilty about cousing me pain as he did not feel in the same way I have.
Last week he called me briefly to say hi and asked me the favor to send a package to his doughter for Chritsmas , I went to his flat while he is abroad and picked up. He said he will let me now the adress where I have to send it. I haven't heard of him for a week, and is now his Birthday tomorrow! I dont know if he came back to the City or still is abroad.
I am totally confused , I have done all eforts to move on with my life for the last 2 months, I still feel him as a friend in some ways as he looked after me for sometime when I needed, although he deprivated me of his love while living together. And that makes me feel still so angry and upset .
I feel that ignoring his Birthday by not calling or texting him, will show him I don't want part of him anymore, and I will don't make a fool of myself again, as I invent and did everything for the past 2 years to win his love with not so good results.
But on the other hand, I feel that if I ignore his birthday, he willl think I am upset I am not over him, ( altough I am very upset becasuse last time he called I said that it was nice to see his flat was very tidy and nice when I picked up my mail and , as the last call he mentioned he had a friend ( a college secretary from his work and she stayied at his place for a few days and she kept the flat nice and tidy, I got really upset , and I showed to him ) also It is diff for me to be harsh to people even more when I have spent so much time caring about them and loving them , then acting on the oposite way make me feel guilty .
I also think he will be upset If I don't call him, he may think I am playing games ? or get resentment thinking that just because he doesn t love me , I can't be just his friend,? also I feel sad in case he came to the City and spend his B alone, and just because he was who decided to keep as just friends, he doesn't dare to call me on his day?
I am also afraid perhaps of loosing his friendship in a long term it might make me feel bad when I will be really over him.
So the question is please , should I call him tomorrow or not?
what do I say if I call, and what do I say if I don't when he contact me later to tell me his doughter adress? , how should I act ? what do I say about his birthday?
Thank you for your advice..I am very lonely at the moment and I'd like to have some diferent opinions which would help me to make up my mind to rhis respect. As you probably read I am quite confused and anxious about it. Cheers.