I'm drawing a line down the middle of the bed...

November 17, 2008 6:50 AM

How can I keep my SO from kicking me in his sleep?

My SO is 6'4" and I'm a much smaller 5'5". Periodically when he turns over in his sleep he'll hit me with his knee or elbow. He of course feels terrible about it and wants to do anything he can to try to stop. We have a queen sized bed and getting a larger bed is not an option. Honestly I'm not sure that would solve the problem anyway, as normally we have enough room as long as he's staying on his side.

posted by Nathanial Hörnblowér to human relations (12 comments total)

Separate blankets? Maybe if he tucks his blanket around himself he will keep his flailing limbs to himself, or at least muffle the damage with the blanket.
posted by saucysault at 7:04 AM on November 17, 2008

Does he usually turn in one (your) direction in his sleep? If he does, maybe you could switch sides of the bed so that he'll either hit nothing, or more amusingly, roll off the bed.
posted by polexa at 7:23 AM on November 17, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

One of those really long "body" pillows down the middle? That might create more of a barricade.
posted by collocation at 7:48 AM on November 17, 2008

Kick him back?

sorry
posted by Salvor Hardin at 8:23 AM on November 17, 2008

Twin beds.
posted by Carol Anne at 8:26 AM on November 17, 2008

I kick in my sleep (and I'm only 5'8"). Your SO's size may contribute, but kicks are annoying from anyone (and it's good you realize he feels terrible about it).

Two things helped me:
a) separate blankets for you and him
b) a knee injury

I don't suggest the second but I did have to learn to turn over less at night to save myself the pain. Maybe you can replicate it by putting something cold or otherwise uncomfortable between you?

I also don't kick a sleeping partner when I"m in my mummy bag in a tent; so tight blankets could help.

He might be seeking heat (I do this too). Make sure he has *enough* blankets if that's the case.

And of course, realize that it's ok to sleep in separate places sometimes. I know you like sleeping next to him, but if you've got a particularly big day coming up, or if he's particularly stressed (or whatever else makes him toss more), it might be worth it to toss one of you on the couch for a night.
posted by nat at 9:23 AM on November 17, 2008

My husband is 6'8", and historically has elbowed and kicked me in his sleep. The only ONLY thing that resolved the problem was getting a larger bed. The largest bed available, as a matter of fact. I feel your pain, sister, I really do. Until we switched from a queen to a king, nothing helped. Some men are just too big for "normal" size beds.
posted by msali at 9:53 AM on November 17, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Whenever I get a sleeping elbow to the face, I milk it. Nothing like guilt-driven homemade breakfast, extra bacon!
posted by kidsleepy at 11:35 AM on November 17, 2008

seperate blankets and sheets worked for us. She hardly ever kicks me anymore.
posted by Megafly at 3:10 PM on November 17, 2008

We had this problem, and after months of couch sleeping when I got really bad, we caved and adjusted... 6'5" me and 5'8" wife in a double bed for 5 years.

We moved to a king bed, and it is glorious. The only other thing that worked was something heavy (a cat, or cat weighted object) on top of the blankets. It prevents you from rolling over or kicking too easily.
posted by iamabot at 4:05 PM on November 17, 2008

Believe me, if he didn't feel so badly already, I'd take full advantage of his guilt. Thanks to everyone for their suggestions. I think trying to put a body pillow or something heavy between us is certainly worth a try.
posted by Nathanial Hörnblowér at 9:10 PM on November 17, 2008

Update - for some reason he's been very still at night lately, so we're doing fine without any adjustments. But if it happens again I'll look into separate blankets.
posted by Nathanial Hörnblowér at 9:37 AM on January 7