sick, stress, stress, sick...

November 12, 2008 6:45 PM

I am a college student with a chronic disease. I need your advice on how to tactfully deal with professors frustrated over my many absences.

This last May I was diagnosed with Chron's disease, putting me out for most of the summer. I had a second flare just as my first term started at my new school (transfer). I lost a week to the hospital and another three or four to a painkiller haze, and got very behind in my studies. I've been trying to maintain symptoms (some days it is difficult to get to class due to the nature of the sick) and catch up, and I feel that I have done a rather fine job so far.

I've spoken with Student Services at my school, submitted adequate medical documentation (so they know I am legit) and explained the situation to all of my professors.

Being sick with Chron's is unusual in that I can appear perfectly normal, healthy, and entirely capable of getting things done. However, when I'm not feeling it I'm really not feeling it, and I'll end up spending days in bed. This leads to very erratic attendance.

Some of my professors have been very sympathetic and flexible. This is awesome. Others haven't been, and have done very little to help me get through things. I understand my responsibilities as a student, but in some cases it seems as if I am being unfairly penalized due to my poor health.

I know how to go about sending nasty emails and getting Student Services to back me up, but I don't want to create unnecessary tension or have a falling-out with a professor. My school is a very small visual arts college, and being on bad terms with one professor can be bad terms with a whole department. This won't get me anywhere.

So, I'm asking for suggestions on how to manage this problem. I'm willing to do anything in my capacity to make up for my absences, and I've been rather aggressive about getting things done well and on-time lately, but I don't think this is enough. What do you think? Am I forgetting some polite gesture?

posted by roygbv to human relations (27 comments total)

A few years ago, I was lecturing at a university and had a student much like yourself; she suffered from Crohn's Disease, had Student Services behind her, and approached me at the beginning of the semester that she might be absent a good deal. I didn't hold her non-attendance against her, and allowed her to make up the quizzes and tests she missed.
If you informed your profs about this at the beginning of the semester, I find it strange they'd penalize you for something out of your control. Could you perhaps attend the office hours of the profs who have been less understanding and explain the situation again to them? Tell them, as you said here, that you'd be "willing to do anything in [your] capacity" to make up the work. You don't need to be apologetic, of course: just up front and eager to fulfill your academic duties.
posted by Bromius at 6:59 PM on November 12, 2008

If I were your doc I'd take (literally) 30 seconds and draft a nice but clear letter to your professor outlining the unpredictable and egregious nature of inflammatory bowel disease (Crohn's, ulcerative colitis). You never know if they even understand what the hell you even have, given how many people are running around with irritable bowel and gluten intolerance claiming similar victim status.
posted by docpops at 7:02 PM on November 12, 2008

I would go to Student Services and ask their advice on how to handle this. Not nasty letters but maybe a note from someone official in SS explaining that you have a bona fide health problem (aka disability) and outlining the sort of reasonable accommodation that is appropriate for the school to provide. In the US, the magic words, according to the Americans with Disabilities Act is that they are legally required to give you "reasonable accomodations" which might include extensions or being allowed to skip minor assignments or providing a substitute for something that required in class participation when you were sick. However, in the academic setting, the professor has a lot of latitude in deciding "what is reasonable" so you may be stuck if you happen to have a jerk for one course.

Once you get something official from SS, follow up with a meeting with prof yourself to review how far behind you are in that class and the specifics of what would be a reasonable strategy for making up work.

I would also seriously consider dropping at least one class - making up four weeks of work with for a full load of classes is difficult if you are healthy, impossible if you are still having problems. The school should allow you to drop a class without penalty on your report card, even past the usual deadline, due to your health problems. (May not get a tuition refund though) You can also usually make arrangements with Student Services to get the lowered course load to be considered equivalent to full time so you aren't penalized in terms of health insurance or dorm priority.
posted by metahawk at 7:04 PM on November 12, 2008 [4 favorites]

I agree with metahawk that it's time to go back to Student Services and ask for advice on how to handle this. Perhaps a meeting with you, the prof(s), and a rep from SS to hash out an understanding and an agreed-upon plan for making up the work? My school had an Ombudsperson who worked as a mediator in these situations.
posted by weebil at 7:26 PM on November 12, 2008

I don't mean to snark, really, but make sure you spell the name of the condition correctly in written correspondence with your professors. I had any number of community college students come in with "notes from their doctors" with things misspelled. And the students that wrote me notes, as themselves, and couldn't be arsed to spell "stomak flue" correctly really made me wonder.

I mean no disrespect for your condition, but noticed the misspelling, and it correlated in my mind with some of the students I had over the years that took massive advantage of my good nature.
posted by notsnot at 7:30 PM on November 12, 2008 [2 favorites]

I've found that a lot of people think that Crohn's is caused by stress. It isn't. But many people are unsympathetic because they think you're someone who can't manage stress and that you are also incapable of managing your affairs and the like. Of course, even if that were the case, people should not hold judgement. But you do have inflammatory bowel disease and it may help to have people, such as profs, see the difference. (One of my friends is a doctor and, during a flare up, she'll ask, "Oh, are you under a lot of stress right now?" -- to which I silently reply, "Why, no, I wasn't till my gut suddenly ripped open with ulceration and started simulating the digestion of glass shards.") It may help to send a letter to each prof at the beginning of the semester, outlining the disease, the symptoms and the possible influence on your studies. You could then say what you're doing to mitigate the situation, in terms of your courseload and studies.

Of course, when I was in school, I didn't say anything. But I know more about how the education system accommodates people now and I'd be more likely to say something. I also moved my course load around so that I was taking 3-4 courses and only attending a few days a week. (Sometimes I'd stack the calendar so that I only had class on Tues and Thurs, for example.) This really helped me with managing things.
posted by acoutu at 7:34 PM on November 12, 2008

Does your school have an Office of Disability Services? If so, go to them because they are there to help students like you. If not, do what Metahawk says and go to Student Services and, if necessary, speak to supervisors. Remember, the Americans with Disabilities Act is on your side - you are supposed to be provided with "reasonable accommodations" for your schoolwork.

A great website, run by and for people with "invisible illnesses" like Crohns, is But You Don't Look Sick. Check out their postings and chat board - you will find helpful tips from those who have been there, done that.
posted by Rosie M. Banks at 7:49 PM on November 12, 2008 [2 favorites]

Prof's hat on:

You've done the right thing by speaking to your professors at the beginning of the semester and submitting the proper medical documentation. It's not quite clear if the medical documentation includes a letter from Student Services that outlines exactly what the professors should expect and what accomodations they are required to make. Did your profs sign a contract with you at the beginning of the semester?
posted by thomas j wise at 7:55 PM on November 12, 2008

What, specifically, do you mean when you write about people doing very little to help you and feeling penalized? If the professors are meeting the reasonable accommodations listed in your paperwork (or something close to that), then they are, even if you wish they'd do more.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:07 PM on November 12, 2008 [2 favorites]

I'm sure that you've been responsible about communicating with your professors and making up missed work. Student Services will probably be your best resource now.

That being said, I generally ask students to withdraw from my classes when they miss more than a quarter of the class sessions. I spell this out on my syllabus, although I work with students who have extenuating circumstances that they can anticipate (military deployment is a common one) and with whom I can create an alternate work plan. But much of my class is workshop rather than lecture-based, so class participation is a large part of the learning process. Regardless of circumstances, sometimes students just haven't been there enough to justify passing the class, and typically, their work reflects this. And when students have a lot of problems attending class and meeting deadlines, even if we've tried to work out alternate arrangements, I often have to say "This just isn't your semester."

So maybe your professors are just being assholes. Lord knows that would be a common enough assumption. But maybe some do have legitimate concerns that your absences are too extensive for you to make up with extra work and extensions.
posted by bibliowench at 8:19 PM on November 12, 2008 [2 favorites]

This is entirely the job of student services. Do they have a disability officer? If not, I would suggest transferring to a school with a very good disability officer, no joke. I think that it is a disservice to yourself to be at a school that isn't going to help you with this.

My current university's disability office is very well run, from my perspective as a graduate student who TAs. At the beginning of the quarter I get a sheet from the disabled student. It does not tell me what the disability is (although many students will tell me personally) but it documents EXACTLY what his/her accommodations are. There is a list of things to check off:
- notetaker (disability services hires this person, I just tell the class that there is a position for hire)
- time and 1/2 or double time for exams (and with the exams I have the choice to have the proctor and student meet me near my office and the proctor sits in an empty office (no distractions) with the student OR disability service will take a copy of the exam and do it for me
- sign language interpreter
- electronic texts

Here's the list with details from them.
posted by k8t at 8:19 PM on November 12, 2008

I went through a similar situation in college: I have epilepsy, another one of those "but you don't LOOK sick" diseases. I was up front with my professors and got accommodations to miss classes if I *had* to, so long as I did all of the work and had weekly meetings to check in. I worked with the student services at my school, but in general, there was no real system set in place and it was an uphill battle to get any sort of reasonable solution.

I had a terrible, terrible time of it. One professor asked if I was *safe* to be in a drawing class in an art studio because couldn't the lights or something give me a seizure? And at one point, infamously, my advisor asked me to consider taking a semester off on medical leave. As if by the end of said semester, I would no longer have epilepsy.

It was a nightmare. Eventually I graduated, but I did it by fighting tooth and nail. Do what you have to do, but there's no diplomatic short cut that I know of. Speak with your doctor often and provide extensive documentation until your professors just get tired of hearing it. Oh, and do KICKASS work. That always helps. :) Best of luck!
posted by grapefruitmoon at 8:20 PM on November 12, 2008

This is entirely the job of student services. Do they have a disability officer? If not, I would suggest transferring to a school with a very good disability officer, no joke.

I second this.

My school didn't have any sort of disability offices set up, it was very VERY ad-hoc. I did, however, take an 8AM M-W-F art history course at another college that DID... I had to miss class at least once a week, which was excused so long as I always turned in my weekly assignments on time (I did) and showed up to take the exams (Again, did that). I was on record with the administration there and my professor had absolutely no problem with excusing an excessive number of absences (morning being nearly impossible for me at that point in time) considering I did all of the work on time and showed up for weekly meetings to check in with him.

I'm not saying I was given a free pass: I worked my butt off. It's just that with a system to set up to allow for disabilities, I didn't also have to sacrifice what little health I had as well.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 8:26 PM on November 12, 2008 [1 favorite]

I definitely agree that your first conversation should be with the student services or disability services office at your school.

You should also think through the question of what you are actually looking for here -- what is it that you are wanting your professors to give you? Not something fluffy and impossible to define like "being understanding," but something describable and concrete like "extensions on papers" or "take-home exams" or whatever.

Knowing that gives you some good options -- the student services office can write you a new letter defining more clearly what the professors need to do, or could facilitate a discussion about accommodations, or could help discuss with you whether your current course load is possible given your condition, or whatever.

But unless you can explain clearly what you are looking for (and assuming that it is a reasonable request), it will be a lot harder to get traction on this.

I've received those letters before, and sometimes they are so vague as to be meaningless, and if the student is not good at articulating what he or she actually needs, am I expected to be a mind-reader? Check what your original letter said, so that you can fairly assess whether your professors are meeting their obligations.

And are you visibly and continually busting ass (so to speak) when you are feeling good, to not only catch up on what you are behind but also to get ahead in case you get sick next week? Or do you more or less do the minimum expected most of the time, except when you are sick (when, of course, you do nothing)?

What I do not want is to be told all the details of your illness/family situation/personal crisis. The student services office exists for a reason -- they protect your privacy and decide what problems are serious, and which are not. That's not my job, I don't have the training or the knowledge to assess that, and I don't want that to be my job. Students are always sending these tremendously TMI emails with all sorts of graphic personal information in them, and pretty much no professor wants to read them. Allow the support office to do its job, and keep your relationships with your professors professional.
posted by Forktine at 8:32 PM on November 12, 2008 [3 favorites]

Seconding one of the posters above, you'll have a better time of it if you drop some of your courseload and resign yourself to not finishing in the number of years you had planned on.

Considering all the days you're ill, there simply may not be enough time to both take a full load this week and catch up on assignments missed last week; it sounds way too stressful.

Suggest you think a bit about "awesome." Personally I'd reserve that for the Grand Canyon or Orion. A professor is free to be non-awesome if he/she wants. All you can ask is that they do their job as defined by the school.

Also, is it fair to throw around accusations of being "penalized"? From the facts as you've stated them in your question, it doesn't sound as if you're being penalized, i.e., deliberately placed by the professor in a worse position than other students. Your woes are due to the disease, not to anything the professor has done.

I hope you can reduce your responsibilities to a level where you can handle them without too much stress.
posted by JimN2TAW at 8:36 PM on November 12, 2008

I think you should not go to SS just yet. I think it will create an adversarial relationship with the professors at this stage. I would approach them one on one and ask how you can best correct whatever deficiencies you have with the course work. I would say that you wanted to work it out with them directly before you went to SS. It would be both a show of good faith and a tacit threat to go over their heads.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 9:49 PM on November 12, 2008

Oh snap, now I feel like an idiot. Thinking phonetically. Crohn's disease, check.
posted by roygbv at 1:05 AM on November 13, 2008

Also, great answers. Thank you much, all.
posted by roygbv at 1:05 AM on November 13, 2008

Seconding JohnnyGunn's demurral.

Give them a chance to either straighten up or come clean about why they won't. Ask if they would put it in writing, so that if your grades do suffer, you have documentation both of your condition and of the faculty's inability to deal with it properly, respectfully, and fairly.

...THEN you go to the Student Services/Accommodation officer.
posted by Emperor SnooKloze at 4:03 AM on November 13, 2008

Definitely make sure you convey to the professors that you aren't being a slacker and that you aren't complaining. Talk to professors before taking their classes- see if they have different "versions" of their class that you could choose that would work better. Or maybe one professor would be better than another for the same class requirement. If it was me, I would make every effort to work out accommodations with your professors privately- nobody likes to have authority thrusted on them. If the professor is being a jerk, by all means get the school involved. But you'll be better off, I think, getting it done one on one.

And not for nothing, make sure you are aggressive in caring for yourself. It sucks to have a disease, but it is ultimately your problem to deal with. I have asthma, and I used it as a crutch and an excuse in grade school- to my own detriment. Just speaking for myself, it was very easy to use it as an excuse.
posted by gjc at 4:59 AM on November 13, 2008

My advice, FWIW. Consider this semester a learning experience, and drop the class(es) where you have uncooperative professors or are too far behind to catch up easily. There is no need to make a big deal about the reasons, just alert the professor that due to circumstances beyond your control, you are dropping.

For next semester, get Student Services to work with you to create a formal document to be provided to next semester's profs, outlining the specific accommodations you need. You have to be specific - a vague hope that a professor will "work with you" is not enough. A professor teaching a full load of classes possibly has a hundred different students to deal with, and can't reasonably be expected to remember everybody's special circumstances.

Plan your next semester's classes carefully. If necessary, shop around within a department to find the professor(s) who will most easily cooperate with you. Every department has the hardliners and the easygoing, flexible profs, and usually there are people who know who they are. Ask fellow students, ask other professors, ask advisers, ask the department chair.

You're going to a visual arts college? Does this mean there are classes, like a drawing class, where your presence in the classroom/studio is really the whole nature of the class? If so, consider taking that class or those types of classes as your only class during a semester, so if you do run into a rough patch due to your health, it won't be so hard to catch up.

Please don't send nasty emails. Just be frank and businesslike, and above all, communicate with everyone.
posted by SuperSquirrel at 6:41 AM on November 13, 2008 [1 favorite]

A professor teaching a full load of classes possibly has a hundred different students to deal with

I commonly have 300 at a time, and plenty of professors have semesters with 1000+ students.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 6:51 AM on November 13, 2008 [1 favorite]

Student Services should have sent a letter to your professors explaining your condition and asking for cooperation in allowing you to make up any missed work due to that. If they haven't done that, then you need to get on them about doing so ASAP.

If talking directly to the professors isn't helping and you're not being allowed to make up the work, speak to the chair of those departments as well. Bring the documentation from your doctor and student services and express calmly your frustrations in dealing with the faculty person who has not followed the student services request.

Depending on the number of courses and the workload, I strongly recommend against dropping or withdrawing from any courses. Many universities have an "incomplete" grade system in place, meaning if the faculty person agrees to it, you can receive an incomplete at the end of the semester and have up to an academic year to complete the work (at most places). This will grant you more time in getting the missed work done and really won't penalize you nearly as much as a "W" for "withdrawn" or a failing grade will. Once you have that set up, though, just make sure you get the work done and don't actually take a year to do it. Get it done as soon as is reasonably possible. It will be better for you and much easier for the professor.
posted by zizzle at 7:16 AM on November 13, 2008

You should never have to take a "W" for a class, even if you decide you have to withdraw from it after the proper date in the semester to not receive a W. Talk with your Dean in the Office of the Dean of Students about this. Schools should always be willing to make accommodations for you that are above and beyond the standard. Your health comes first, and school comes second, and a good school (and a good Dean at the school) will realize this and act accordingly. You are not in a typical run-of-the-mill slacker situation, where you're not going to class because you were out partying or because you don't care, and involving your Dean by simply meeting with him/her and explaining the situation should prove very helpful.

I would speak with Student Services (especially their Disability Office if they have one), but I would also make an appointment with my Dean of Students or someone in a similar position at your school as soon as possible to talk about this. Speaking from experience, the Dean was really my biggest ally in a very similar situation. Student Services helped me with logistic stuff, but the Dean really backed me up and made sure that certain things happened. He really went out of his way to make sure that I got the education that I and my parents were paying for.

Also, do not resign yourself to graduating after you initially intended to, as JimN2TAW suggests above. There is no reason that the school should not make accommodations for you based on your chronic condition. Having a chronic disease should never stop you from doing anything, and that includes graduating on time and doing well in school. If you need special accommodations in order to achieve those goals, so be it -- a good school, a good Dean, and good professors will help make that happen. Schools can even waive the minimum number of credits necessary to graduate in extenuating circumstances, or they can allow you to take classes elsewhere over the summer for credit that wouldn't normally count -- there are a lot of ways to make it so that you graduate on time. There is nothing that you can't do because you have a chronic disease, and please don't let anyone tell you differently.

Even if professors have legitimate concerns that your absences are too extensive for you to make up, your situation warrants that professors accommodate you to any extent necessary. Seriously. "This just isn't your semester" isn't going to cut it (that can quickly can turn into "This just isn't your life" which leads to "You can never get a college education with a chronic illness" and believe me, that is not a path that you or anyone should have to go down). If you can't get your school or your professors to understand, I would look into transferring to an institution that is committed to providing you with the same quality of education that everyone else gets, regardless of your or their health status.
posted by k8lin at 7:50 AM on November 13, 2008

Even if professors have legitimate concerns that your absences are too extensive for you to make up, your situation warrants that professors accommodate you to any extent necessary. Seriously.

I'm not entirely sure where you're getting this, but this usually isn't legally or practically the case. Professors are asked to make "reasonable accommodations", which vary according to the disability so that the university is in compliance with the ADA. Determination of whether a condition is a disability is made on a case-by-case basis, as well. Where I teach, we're told very clearly what these accommodations entail--for example, when students need to ask for extensions, how long these extensions can be, how many absences in excess of the normal attendance policy you're allowed. Specific students may be allowed to graduate with fewer credits, etc., but that rests firmly in the Disability Services Office's hands, and has nothing to do with the professor. We, as professors, are not obligated here to make sure that students graduate "on time" (any students, including the disabled); in terms of disabled students, we're only obligated to make the accommodations required by the disability services offices. Speaking from experience, I've had a plethora of students who expect to be able to be accommodated well above-and-beyond what the Disability Services office felt was reasonable (never coming to class, never informing me of absences or the need for extensions), and the Disability Office always backed me up. Maybe we're all big meanies (I don't think this is the case; I'm always willing to meet with any student to discuss these sorts of problems and how to work around them), but I think all of this has something to do with maintaining some sort of standard--a reasonable standard for all students, to ensure fairness. I've been told by the disability office again and again that students are still obligated to learn the course material to earn a passing grade, and a certain level of communication and interaction with the professor is often required for the disabled studentto be able to do this.

To the OP, I agree with everyone above that you should go speak to student services (and disability services, if your office has it), particularly if you don't know the specific accommodations your professors are required to make for you and your illness. If the professors aren't in compliance with these accommodations, then the office should be able to talk to them (and, legally, are obligated to talk to them) to get these accommodations made. If the accommodations really aren't enough, student services may be able to get them changed so that you can have more absences/more time--but you need to talk to them to determine that.

As for your professors, I'd ask myself, first, if I'm doing everything I can to communicate my needs and my situation to my professors. Keep in mind that they have a ton of students and might need to be reminded of your special circumstances. In light of this, always always contact them when you need an absence, always always ask, in advance if possible, for extensions. Yes, this requires a certain amount of "footwork", and we, as professors, understand that this can be a pain, but this will go a long way in showing your professors that you're engaged and ready and eager to learn. In my experience, those students--the engaged, ready, and eager ones--are the ones that consistently succeed despite whatever is going on in their lives.

I would recommend that you think about taking online courses next semester, if your school offers them. The unfortunate truth is that, because of your illness, you're likely not learning everything you would be if you were in regular attendance in your classes. I'm looking at this from a pedagogical standpoint, not a commercial one (which says that as long as you pay for a class and pass, what you learn doesn't matter)--you'll get a lot more from your classes if you have full access to the resources and curriculum material.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 8:48 AM on November 13, 2008 [1 favorite]

your situation warrants that professors accommodate you to any extent necessary

This is false. The situation warrants reasonable accommodation, and does not warrant unreasonable accommodation.

It doesn't matter how necessary it is for the professor to show up at your home and give you an individual tutorial version of the course, scheduled around your flareups when they occur, that's still not a reasonable accommodation.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:54 AM on November 13, 2008 [1 favorite]

Even if professors have legitimate concerns that your absences are too extensive for you to make up, your situation warrants that professors accommodate you to any extent necessary. Seriously. "This just isn't your semester" isn't going to cut it (that can quickly can turn into "This just isn't your life" which leads to "You can never get a college education with a chronic illness" and believe me, that is not a path that you or anyone should have to go down). If you can't get your school or your professors to understand, I would look into transferring to an institution that is committed to providing you with the same quality of education that everyone else gets, regardless of your or their health status.

As someone who has lived through it, I can't second this advice strongly enough. "This isn't your semester" cuts it if you have mono. It does NOT cut it if you have a chronic illness. Like I mentioned before, I was advised to "take a break" which just made no sense because no amount of time off was going to change the fact that I have a disease that isn't going anywhere. If your school doesn't have a system to handle accommodating your illness, transfer somewhere that DOES. I wish I had.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 10:15 AM on November 13, 2008