Ain't got no grammar
November 10, 2008 11:25 PM Subscribe
I am married to a wonderful (black) man who sometimes has terrible grammar (sliding into ebonics). Should I continue to correct him, even though technically, he knows the proper way to say things or should I stop nagging because it will never work?
posted by Grlnxtdr to Human Relations (98 answers total) 21 users marked this as a favorite
I am married to the most awesome man, who treats me like gold. He is very intelligent in many ways and went to college, but often his grammar goes into the toilet. This gets on my very last nerve, since 1) I know he knows this bugs the hell out of me 2) He can speak very well when he wants to 3) It makes him sound not as smart as he truly is.
He is from North Carolina, I am from Maine, so this isn't about accents. I am just seriously perturbed when he goes into ebonics and he would argue with me to the death about it being an actual dialect.
My argument is this: Beyond the obvious of it making him sound like an uneducated thug, we live in Maine where it is 96% whites and there are a lot of racist people here, unfortunately. If we are supposed to be the ambassadors of bi-racial couples around here, I would prefer if he not make some kind of statement to them that in any way could be considered negative. I am VERY sensitive to the racism I now experience daily, and I would like to minimize this as much as possible.
His argument is that much like the word "n*gger" and how black people say this to each other, ebonics is a way for black people to have their own way of communicating. They don't talk white because they aren't white. He also points out, correctly, that I married him knowing he uses slang and often retorts, "Okay Teacher" or "okay, judge Judy".
Am I just being a picky nag, who should respect his way of talking, or should I continue to correct him, in hopes that his grammar will improve with *gentle reminders?
* gentle meaning I say, "you what?" or "what did you say?" or "I don't understand that slangy shit"