My roommate is giving me a concern
November 7, 2008 9:07 AM Subscribe
What should I do to protect myself from my roommate's mess?
Three of us moved to Chicago two months ago. We all had different strategies of attack. I saved money beforehand so I could be unemployed and not worried. It's worked out. One roommate pounded the pavement to get two or three jobs. It's worked out. The third decided to rely on her charm and good luck. It hasn't worked out.
For October rent she had to get a loan from her mother. Beyond that she's in debt for another $500. She just got a job a week and a half ago, but won't be getting a paycheck till the end of this month. As such, she can't pay November rent. She has offered no solution to this, and doesn't seem to understand or care why it really worries me. She says she'll be able to pay both November and December rent on December 1st, but that's by no means a sure thing. I've insisted that she call our landlord and try to work something out, but so far all she's done is left a voicemail.
We're all three on the lease, and I just don't want to get screwed by her laissez-faire attitude to her own finances. So my question is: what do I do? Consider eviction a non-option, at least until December. Should I pay her rent and get stuck trying to get paid back? Should I leave it between her and the landlord? He's a nice guy, so I'm not worried about immediate repercussions, but this is all new to me. I'm not used to living with someone who can be so irresponsible.
Any/all advice welcome. Do what you can to calm these frazzled nerves.
Three of us moved to Chicago two months ago. We all had different strategies of attack. I saved money beforehand so I could be unemployed and not worried. It's worked out. One roommate pounded the pavement to get two or three jobs. It's worked out. The third decided to rely on her charm and good luck. It hasn't worked out.
For October rent she had to get a loan from her mother. Beyond that she's in debt for another $500. She just got a job a week and a half ago, but won't be getting a paycheck till the end of this month. As such, she can't pay November rent. She has offered no solution to this, and doesn't seem to understand or care why it really worries me. She says she'll be able to pay both November and December rent on December 1st, but that's by no means a sure thing. I've insisted that she call our landlord and try to work something out, but so far all she's done is left a voicemail.
We're all three on the lease, and I just don't want to get screwed by her laissez-faire attitude to her own finances. So my question is: what do I do? Consider eviction a non-option, at least until December. Should I pay her rent and get stuck trying to get paid back? Should I leave it between her and the landlord? He's a nice guy, so I'm not worried about immediate repercussions, but this is all new to me. I'm not used to living with someone who can be so irresponsible.
Any/all advice welcome. Do what you can to calm these frazzled nerves.
Best answer: For goodness sake, don't pay her rent. This girl doesn't sound particularly capable with her finances, so don't embroil yourself in her foibles. I doubt you'll get kicked out for living with someone who can't pay rent for a month, so there's no need to rush to her aid after she was so foolhardy. Honestly, do you want to live with someone like that? Maybe you should reconsider her value to the household if she's willing to imperil everyone's living situation by acting like a ninny.
And seconding missmagenta: landlords are probably fielding a few more late rent explanations in these times, which might make them more (or less) understanding.
posted by zoomorphic at 9:36 AM on November 7, 2008 [1 favorite]
And seconding missmagenta: landlords are probably fielding a few more late rent explanations in these times, which might make them more (or less) understanding.
posted by zoomorphic at 9:36 AM on November 7, 2008 [1 favorite]
Do you know her Mother? Maybe call her up and embarrass her into paying the rent again (better yet, if your mother knows her mother have YOUR mother call her mother)? Yes, that's immature but so is your roommate. Don't pay her rent because she will feel no urgency in paying you back and then have you in her mental map as marked as an easy touch. And re-evaluate the living situation, do you need this stress?
posted by saucysault at 9:50 AM on November 7, 2008
posted by saucysault at 9:50 AM on November 7, 2008
I'd leave it between her and the landlord for now, but make sure she's actually communicating the situation to him. If you're all three on the lease, you're probably all three jointly and severally responsible for the rent (meaning if she never pays, yes, you and the third roommate can be held legally responsible to pay up).
Make sure you keep records of your own payments (receipts, cancelled checks, that sort of thing). If you're locked into a lease, can you get a rider signed with the landlord and all roommates that you are each responsible for X percentage of the monthly or yearly rent?
I think the bigger issue is that you need to sit down and have a come to Jesus meeting regarding why it IS a big deal (to you, the other roommate, the landlord, all her future landlords, her future mortgage company, etc) to be a month late in paying the rent. It's great that she's got a job now and will be paying going forward, but to blow off a month of rent with, 'Oh, but I can pay December first' is not an ok attitude to have. She needs to be apologizing big time if she's borrowing money from you (charge interest and get it in writing if you loan her anything!) and definitely needs to agree to pay any late fee that might be assessed to her portion of the rent.
I'm just guessing--is this her first time living away from her parents?
posted by purplecurlygirl at 9:53 AM on November 7, 2008
Make sure you keep records of your own payments (receipts, cancelled checks, that sort of thing). If you're locked into a lease, can you get a rider signed with the landlord and all roommates that you are each responsible for X percentage of the monthly or yearly rent?
I think the bigger issue is that you need to sit down and have a come to Jesus meeting regarding why it IS a big deal (to you, the other roommate, the landlord, all her future landlords, her future mortgage company, etc) to be a month late in paying the rent. It's great that she's got a job now and will be paying going forward, but to blow off a month of rent with, 'Oh, but I can pay December first' is not an ok attitude to have. She needs to be apologizing big time if she's borrowing money from you (charge interest and get it in writing if you loan her anything!) and definitely needs to agree to pay any late fee that might be assessed to her portion of the rent.
I'm just guessing--is this her first time living away from her parents?
posted by purplecurlygirl at 9:53 AM on November 7, 2008
Yeah, definitely don't lend her any money or pay her rent for her, unless you've got enough money yourself to just write it off. I've seen that go wrong in 100% of cases.
posted by cincinnatus c at 11:16 AM on November 7, 2008
posted by cincinnatus c at 11:16 AM on November 7, 2008
What does your lease say about what happens in the event of non-payment of rent? How liable you are should dictated your next actions. e.g., If you're jointly responsible, then you're on the hook for her non-payment, and you should probably have a chat with the landlord asap. However, if your lease says you each are responsible for only 1/3 of the rent, then you can probably afford to let her sweat it out with the landlord herself.
If I were jointly responsible, I'd be talking to the other paying roommate about strategies in case of ongoing nonpayment. Then I'd be calling the landlord to see how lax or hardass he'd be. Then I'd be investigating how and when I could evict my non-paying roommate. Armed with all that info, THEN I'd have a chat with delinquent roommate.
posted by ImproviseOrDie at 11:18 AM on November 7, 2008
If I were jointly responsible, I'd be talking to the other paying roommate about strategies in case of ongoing nonpayment. Then I'd be calling the landlord to see how lax or hardass he'd be. Then I'd be investigating how and when I could evict my non-paying roommate. Armed with all that info, THEN I'd have a chat with delinquent roommate.
posted by ImproviseOrDie at 11:18 AM on November 7, 2008
Keep on her to communicate with the landlord on how she's going to deal with HER situation. Until the landlord comes to you for her rent (which he may or may not do, depending on the lease and how nice a guy he really is), it's not your problem. She needs to come up with the money when it's due. That date is negotiable only with your landlord. She needs to do whatever she needs to do to keep a roof over her head, whether it be a payday-like loan or whatever. It's her bed, she needs to lie in it. Until it escalates it's not your problem.
I can't stress this enough -- Do not loan her the money! You are not a bank. There's absolutely no guarantee you'll be getting it back; in fact, the odds are stacked against you. When the landlord comes to you for her delinquent rent, if he can do that according to your lease -- thats when you concede you're paying her share, and then you need to deal with how you're going to get the money from her. Until that happens, it's not your problem!
When/if it does become your problem, you can come back here with another question. It's been discussed many times here already on the green.
There also might be another question from you about how to kick out this delinquent roommate, as well...
posted by cgg at 11:19 AM on November 7, 2008
I can't stress this enough -- Do not loan her the money! You are not a bank. There's absolutely no guarantee you'll be getting it back; in fact, the odds are stacked against you. When the landlord comes to you for her delinquent rent, if he can do that according to your lease -- thats when you concede you're paying her share, and then you need to deal with how you're going to get the money from her. Until that happens, it's not your problem!
When/if it does become your problem, you can come back here with another question. It's been discussed many times here already on the green.
There also might be another question from you about how to kick out this delinquent roommate, as well...
posted by cgg at 11:19 AM on November 7, 2008
Seriously don't pay her rent. I had a roommate who said that he would reimburse me for 1/2 of our utilities because they were all in my name (long story) - when we moved out, I ended up several hundred dollars in the hole with constant explanations that I'd get the money "next week."
Pay YOUR rent and leave the rest up to the landlord. Talk to him if you feel like it, but it's not YOUR responsibility.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 11:30 AM on November 7, 2008
Pay YOUR rent and leave the rest up to the landlord. Talk to him if you feel like it, but it's not YOUR responsibility.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 11:30 AM on November 7, 2008
guys, the landlord isn't in the business of renting 1/3 of an apartment. this isn't good advice, IMHO. he's not going to consider it as "oh i got Nancy's share and I got Debbie's share, I need to deal with Sally for her share." He's going to consider the rent in arrears.
Three names being on the lease just means he can go to any one of three people to collect his rent. Unless your lease specifically says that you are only responsible for 1/3 of that rent, you signed a document that says you are ALL responsible for that sum of money EVERY MONTH. how you come up with that sum of money is not his concern.
this is your problem RIGHT NOW.
I think that calling the landlord is likely to make him freak out UNLESS you have a plan and timing associated with it: "She says she can come up with the rent by December 1, if she doesn't, we're going to start looking for a new roommate to move in and take over her share as quickly as possible" or "do you have any shares that the two of us who are responsible can afford, we will move out of here". He can then say "don't worry about it" or make another suggestion. But check your rental laws, because unpaid rent after 5 days is generally grounds to begin eviction proceedings.
can she take a loan against her future paycheck? it's not unheard of.
posted by micawber at 1:01 PM on November 7, 2008 [4 favorites]
Three names being on the lease just means he can go to any one of three people to collect his rent. Unless your lease specifically says that you are only responsible for 1/3 of that rent, you signed a document that says you are ALL responsible for that sum of money EVERY MONTH. how you come up with that sum of money is not his concern.
this is your problem RIGHT NOW.
I think that calling the landlord is likely to make him freak out UNLESS you have a plan and timing associated with it: "She says she can come up with the rent by December 1, if she doesn't, we're going to start looking for a new roommate to move in and take over her share as quickly as possible" or "do you have any shares that the two of us who are responsible can afford, we will move out of here". He can then say "don't worry about it" or make another suggestion. But check your rental laws, because unpaid rent after 5 days is generally grounds to begin eviction proceedings.
can she take a loan against her future paycheck? it's not unheard of.
posted by micawber at 1:01 PM on November 7, 2008 [4 favorites]
I'd suggest trying to communicate to your roommate that:
1) You don't have $500 sitting around to loan her -- which is what she is asking you for, a $500 loan
2) The landlord, as Micawber says, is not going to be understanding -- he's going to want all the money, on time
3) If she can't afford to live this apartment, then, well, she can't afford to live in this apartment, and she -- or you and the other roommate -- will need to find someone else to take over her room, ASAP.
posted by Artifice_Eternity at 1:50 PM on November 7, 2008
1) You don't have $500 sitting around to loan her -- which is what she is asking you for, a $500 loan
2) The landlord, as Micawber says, is not going to be understanding -- he's going to want all the money, on time
3) If she can't afford to live this apartment, then, well, she can't afford to live in this apartment, and she -- or you and the other roommate -- will need to find someone else to take over her room, ASAP.
posted by Artifice_Eternity at 1:50 PM on November 7, 2008
Please do not advise ictow not to pay the roommate's rent under any circumstances. In all likelihood, that's her own rent she's not paying.
posted by oaf at 2:17 PM on November 7, 2008
posted by oaf at 2:17 PM on November 7, 2008
Act like this is her problem. Don't take it on. Be detached but concerned, like "where are you going to get the money for the November rent? Those checks need to be sent Monday. Rent is supposed to be due on the first of the month, so it's already really late." Don't let her shrug it off, but essentially keep repeating those points.
Don't really get involved in helping her figure it out, because if you brainstorm ideas, she can shoot them down. But she does have options: parents, payday loan, cash advance from credit card, officially getting permission from the landlord, an advance on her paycheck from her employer.
posted by salvia at 3:06 PM on November 7, 2008
Don't really get involved in helping her figure it out, because if you brainstorm ideas, she can shoot them down. But she does have options: parents, payday loan, cash advance from credit card, officially getting permission from the landlord, an advance on her paycheck from her employer.
posted by salvia at 3:06 PM on November 7, 2008
Response by poster: Thanks y'all. You said what I was thinking, but it's reassuring to hear it from other folks. The phone call to the landlord is scheduled bright and mid-day tomorrow; from that point on I'll play it by ear and keep extensive records.
posted by ictow at 3:59 PM on November 7, 2008
posted by ictow at 3:59 PM on November 7, 2008
For goodness sake, don't pay her rent. This girl doesn't sound particularly capable with her finances, so don't embroil yourself in her foibles.
I agree with this. Think about it: she can't pay the current month's rent. If you pay the current month's rent in expectation that she will pay you in the near future, then you're expecting that she will pay both that future month's rent, plus the rent from this month that you paid. It doesn't make sense that someone who has demonstrated financial irresponsibility will be able to pay two month's rent at a time, when they've already shown they can't pay one month's rent at a time.
posted by jayder at 5:08 PM on November 7, 2008
I agree with this. Think about it: she can't pay the current month's rent. If you pay the current month's rent in expectation that she will pay you in the near future, then you're expecting that she will pay both that future month's rent, plus the rent from this month that you paid. It doesn't make sense that someone who has demonstrated financial irresponsibility will be able to pay two month's rent at a time, when they've already shown they can't pay one month's rent at a time.
posted by jayder at 5:08 PM on November 7, 2008
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by missmagenta at 9:28 AM on November 7, 2008