Lonely dog & anxious neighbor

November 3, 2008 5:41 PM

My upstairs neighbors, a young-ish couple, have a puppy. I believe they both work full-time jobs and therefore are away a lot of the day. They usually leave around 7 am and get home around 5 (they are pretty loud, so I know their routines). Often, they leave the dog in the evening - after a full day of being alone. I don't know if they have a dog-walker come in during the day (I really hope so). The dog cries and barks when alone (understandable) and honestly, I feel really sorry for it. I am a dog lover, but do not have a dog of my own as I know I could not give it the time it would need. My question is: how can I deal with my own feelings of sadness for this dog? I am annoyed by the barking, but honestly, am more annoyed with the owners. I don't know what to do.
posted by aelish to pets & animals (14 comments total)

Could you offer your neighbors your services as a dog walker? Paid, of course. The dog would be happy and you could get your puppy fix in without the larger commitment that comes with owning a dog too.
posted by jamaro at 5:59 PM on November 3, 2008 [6 favorites]

Move?
posted by Geckwoistmeinauto at 6:01 PM on November 3, 2008

seconding jamaro.
posted by violetk at 6:06 PM on November 3, 2008

they may have no idea their dog is unhappy. i like jamaro's suggestion--it alerts to the problem and offers a solution (and hey, you'll get a little exercise out of the deal).

if you don't want to offer to walk to dog, an anonymous note may be the way to go, to the effect of, "i don't know if you are aware of this, but your dog whines and cries whenever you are away. is there any way you could arrange to get a dog walker or take it to doggy day care? it distresses me to hear the poor guy so obviously unhappy. i wish i had time to offer my assistance, but i don't. i am sure that you love your dog very much and will be upset to hear that he needs more attention than you can give him, so i hope you will understand why i wish to preserve good will among my neighbors by keeping this anonymous. regards, a neighbor."
posted by thinkingwoman at 6:12 PM on November 3, 2008 [3 favorites]

How bad is the barking? A dog who barks a few times when there is a noise, that's normal. Possibly, the dog has selection of toys -when you hear barking, it's wreaking havoc on a Booda bone and having a gay ol' time.

If the pup is just barking barking barking barking, then it would be best all around if you, the kindly neighbor, talked to the owners before someone unkindly files a complaint.

As far as being home alone from 7 - 5, hard to say. Not sure what you mean by "puppy"? For a baby dog of a certain age, without puppy pads or a litter box, that might be too long. But maybe this dog is older, or maybe this dog has puppy pads or is litter-box trained. Zillions of dogs are home alone all day, and nonetheless have happy lives. (I myself am stuck at work for hours all day, and yet have a happy life.)

Why not just have a friendly chat with the owners, express some interest in their dog, and see if you don't learn enough about the dog's life to feel better? Find out what they do with pup when they are home, how they spend weekends, what kind of training it's had - just get a feel for the dog's life.
posted by Lesser Shrew at 6:13 PM on November 3, 2008

Usually people don't know the dog is barking when they're not home. A polite note or conversation alerting them to this might help a lot.
posted by Riverine at 6:30 PM on November 3, 2008

A few years back, our neighbors adopted a dog from the shelter. Like yours, our neighbors also work full-time, so their dog was left alone during the day, usually in her crate.

My wife and I work at home and we love dogs, so we offered to dog-sit during the day. We walk the dog, play with her, teach her tricks, and spoil her rotten. When the dog's owners go out of town, she stays with us. The dog's owners bought an extra bed so she has a place to sleep while she's here and her owners refer to us as, "her aunt and uncle." It's a great arrangement--the dog is happy, her owners know she's getting lots of attention and bathroom breaks, and my wife and I get to enjoy all the benefits of having a dog without having to pay for vet bills or food.

If you also work at home, you might consider approaching your neighbors by saying the dog cries and barks when it's left all alone, and that you love dogs, so you'd be willing to dog-sit during the day or at least walk it while they're out.
posted by mattdidthat at 6:46 PM on November 3, 2008

I was really waiting for this question to end with "How can I ask my neighbors if I can walk their dog without sounding like a weirdo?"

But Mattdidthat did it.

Do that.
posted by rokusan at 7:14 PM on November 3, 2008

Our neighbour (whom we knew reasonably well) left his new puppy alone during the workday, so my wife offered to bring it to our house for an hour or so in the afternoons. It worked out well, except for a few poop/pee accidents and the puppy got more used to being lone as it got older.
posted by bonobothegreat at 10:26 PM on November 3, 2008

Buy them The Weekend Dog. Dogs do not actually need constant attention and can be trained to spend the day alone, especially if they are crated. I'd be very concerned if the dog lived in an apartment and was only getting short walks of necessity late at night, though. Walking is essential to socializing dogs properly.
posted by dhartung at 11:39 PM on November 3, 2008

nthing the suggestion that you fill the void in this puppy's life. Offer to play with him, walk him, puppy sit - whatever it takes. I'd also add some blurb - tactfully - that what they're doing pretty much borders on the criteria of animal cruelty.
posted by watercarrier at 2:07 AM on November 4, 2008

I wouldn't mention the animal cruelty thing. Just do the offer-to-doggy-sit thing. It's win-win-win.
posted by flabdablet at 2:49 AM on November 4, 2008

Well, they obviously don't know that it's cruel behavior. What if they decide to get another dog and do the same thing to him/her down the line? Unless people are told - educated - call it what you will - they'll keep repeating negative behavior. It could simply be a matter of ignorance. Ask for their email - I have no problem sending them an eye opener on the subject.
posted by watercarrier at 3:17 AM on November 4, 2008

N-thing "offer to help." If you love dogs, but can't have your own for whatever reasons, the greatest thing is to be able to play with one without the responsibility of owning it. Before we moved, my wife and I had a great time walking a disabled neighbor's dog-- it became a real highlight of our day, gave us a chance to exercise and unwind, the dog was happy, and so was our neighbor.
posted by Rykey at 3:54 AM on November 4, 2008