She always starting some shit...
November 3, 2008 4:20 PM Subscribe
Someone pooped on my friend’s basement floor, how should we get revenge?
Me and my friends are tired of this girl’s antics. She’s pretty nice when sober, but is a crazy CRAZY drunk! We came to a point where we stopped inviting her when we went out and when we had parties, but sometimes she shows up uninvited. If the party/house is big enough, we don’t even know that she is there. It was like that last weekend, until she made a stink, literally.
My friend has a bathroom in her basement. Supposedly, someone was in there for quite a while and she was really shitfaced drunk, she banged and banged on the door. Whoever was in the bathroom refused to open it. Eventually she just spread her feet, crouched, dropped her bloomers and crapped on the carpet. The stain won’t come out. My friend’s green carpet was already unflattering enough, now it looks like a golf course with a mud pit in her basement. Ok, I’m rambling now…
This is just a gross situation, my friend says it still smells down there. This girl has not done ANYTHING to rectify the situation, and she never takes responsibility for anything else that she does. We are fed up, yet there are some people who like her, so they secretly invite her to things, when we try to exclude her.
We are at a point where excluding doesn’t work. We have been taking the high road, but right now, it isn’t accomplishing anything. I’d say it is time that we give her a taste of her own medicine.
I came up with the idea of hiding some meat or broccoli somewhere in her car. Somewhere she won’t notice it, so she can’t remove it, therefore it will start spoiling making her car smell very bad...maybe attract bugs. But, I think that is considered as breaking and entering, and she is not someone worth going to jail over.
Does anyone have any ideas how we can handle this?
Me and my friends are tired of this girl’s antics. She’s pretty nice when sober, but is a crazy CRAZY drunk! We came to a point where we stopped inviting her when we went out and when we had parties, but sometimes she shows up uninvited. If the party/house is big enough, we don’t even know that she is there. It was like that last weekend, until she made a stink, literally.
My friend has a bathroom in her basement. Supposedly, someone was in there for quite a while and she was really shitfaced drunk, she banged and banged on the door. Whoever was in the bathroom refused to open it. Eventually she just spread her feet, crouched, dropped her bloomers and crapped on the carpet. The stain won’t come out. My friend’s green carpet was already unflattering enough, now it looks like a golf course with a mud pit in her basement. Ok, I’m rambling now…
This is just a gross situation, my friend says it still smells down there. This girl has not done ANYTHING to rectify the situation, and she never takes responsibility for anything else that she does. We are fed up, yet there are some people who like her, so they secretly invite her to things, when we try to exclude her.
We are at a point where excluding doesn’t work. We have been taking the high road, but right now, it isn’t accomplishing anything. I’d say it is time that we give her a taste of her own medicine.
I came up with the idea of hiding some meat or broccoli somewhere in her car. Somewhere she won’t notice it, so she can’t remove it, therefore it will start spoiling making her car smell very bad...maybe attract bugs. But, I think that is considered as breaking and entering, and she is not someone worth going to jail over.
Does anyone have any ideas how we can handle this?
This post was deleted for the following reason: revenge questions are against the rules of MeFi, plus are you for real? -- jessamyn
Don't let her in the house. I know you say that you don't always know she's there, but that's something you have to deal with. If you throw a party, have someone hanging out by the door to refuse her entry. Tell those people who like her that if she's invited, they're not. Respectable people will have no problem with you controlling access to your own house.
Don't get back at her. It will end in woe. For you.
posted by Lemurrhea at 4:29 PM on November 3, 2008 [1 favorite]
Don't get back at her. It will end in woe. For you.
posted by Lemurrhea at 4:29 PM on November 3, 2008 [1 favorite]
Write her a letter that says she is unwelcome in your (?)... Wait a minute, this is your friend's basement, so there's not much you can do without appearing to be a busybody.
Perhaps, then, recommend to your friend to type out a letter to this person stating that the behaviour was unacceptable, and that it is expected that she make amends by cleaning the carpet. The letter should also state that this person is no longer welcome in the house, and that the next step will be pursuing a restraining order if she appears in the house again.
Should solve the problem.
posted by KokuRyu at 4:29 PM on November 3, 2008
Perhaps, then, recommend to your friend to type out a letter to this person stating that the behaviour was unacceptable, and that it is expected that she make amends by cleaning the carpet. The letter should also state that this person is no longer welcome in the house, and that the next step will be pursuing a restraining order if she appears in the house again.
Should solve the problem.
posted by KokuRyu at 4:29 PM on November 3, 2008
Don't let her in the house. I know you say that you don't always know she's there, but that's something you have to deal with.
I agree, you have to get to the root of the problem: you're throwing parties that are so big that you don't know all the people there. As long as you do that, there'll always be some person doing stuff you don't like- getting rid of her will just be one battle in the war.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 4:31 PM on November 3, 2008 [2 favorites]
I agree, you have to get to the root of the problem: you're throwing parties that are so big that you don't know all the people there. As long as you do that, there'll always be some person doing stuff you don't like- getting rid of her will just be one battle in the war.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 4:31 PM on November 3, 2008 [2 favorites]
I also think you should bill this girl for the damage to the carpet. Take her to small claims court, even.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 4:33 PM on November 3, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 4:33 PM on November 3, 2008 [1 favorite]
If you let her do it again, and then call the police, the shame of it might have an effect on her. Whoever does the DNA test on that dookie is going to earn their paycheck that week.
posted by No New Diamonds Please at 4:33 PM on November 3, 2008
posted by No New Diamonds Please at 4:33 PM on November 3, 2008
Maybe now that this has happened, spread the word around to your friends that she's a floor-pooper? People who may not have been so bothered before might be stopped by this.
Having someone watch the door, as Lemurrhea said, is also a good idea.
posted by lacedback at 4:33 PM on November 3, 2008
Having someone watch the door, as Lemurrhea said, is also a good idea.
posted by lacedback at 4:33 PM on November 3, 2008
tagged photos on facebook of course!
posted by meta87 at 4:37 PM on November 3, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by meta87 at 4:37 PM on November 3, 2008 [1 favorite]
Are you a real person? I thought my life was weird.
Look, you don't get revenge on people if you're posting about it on the internet. Even semi-anonymously. The only way to really get revenge is to never tell anyone anything about what you're going to do, and just do it. Gloating/planning/sharing is not a good idea until much later, if at all.
Get new, more mature friends. I've done some questionable things in my time and I always regretted it later, and you will, too, if you do this. That said, I understand the urge, totally. People are HORRIBLE. Don't put yourself in the position of being one of her "I am a victim and here's what ______ has done to me to reinforce that image" stories, which will only trick other people into befriending her out of sympathy.
If you see her anywhere, smile and do not look at her. Turn around. Walk the other way.
Think that's not revenge? Knowing you are being purposely ignored, like a petulant child in public, hurts people more than you think. It also leaves you blameless for future crazy-type activities, as you can honestly say she's not your friend and you don't associate with her.
If you must warn people, warn people. Don't give her a reason to be all "that girl is a bitch to me and I didn't do anything" whenever you see each other, though. Not everybody was there and some people will listen to her twist it into not being her fault, as some of your mutual friends have obviously shown.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 4:37 PM on November 3, 2008 [1 favorite]
Look, you don't get revenge on people if you're posting about it on the internet. Even semi-anonymously. The only way to really get revenge is to never tell anyone anything about what you're going to do, and just do it. Gloating/planning/sharing is not a good idea until much later, if at all.
Get new, more mature friends. I've done some questionable things in my time and I always regretted it later, and you will, too, if you do this. That said, I understand the urge, totally. People are HORRIBLE. Don't put yourself in the position of being one of her "I am a victim and here's what ______ has done to me to reinforce that image" stories, which will only trick other people into befriending her out of sympathy.
If you see her anywhere, smile and do not look at her. Turn around. Walk the other way.
Think that's not revenge? Knowing you are being purposely ignored, like a petulant child in public, hurts people more than you think. It also leaves you blameless for future crazy-type activities, as you can honestly say she's not your friend and you don't associate with her.
If you must warn people, warn people. Don't give her a reason to be all "that girl is a bitch to me and I didn't do anything" whenever you see each other, though. Not everybody was there and some people will listen to her twist it into not being her fault, as some of your mutual friends have obviously shown.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 4:37 PM on November 3, 2008 [1 favorite]
When I was a kid, my grandfather gave my mom about ten packages of lunchmeat which she accidentally left sitting in the floorboard of a hot car for about 48 hours. Until she finally ditched the car a year later, every ride to school smelled like riding in a coffin.
Trust me, your friend's basement smelling like a toilet can in no way compare to the hell of rotten meat in a car. That's the kind of reek that seeps into the metal. For all the value you'd take away from the car, you might as well just torch the thing. Either way it'll only be worth scrap value. It's a completely asymmetrical response.
Next time she gets super drunk in your presence, just go crazy on her with a sharpie. Write "I GOT DRUNK AND SHIT ON AN ACQUAINTANCE'S FLOOR" along each of her arms or something similar. That way she'd just have to wear long sleeves for a couple of weeks and there's a far smaller chance of cops being involved.
posted by bunnytricks at 4:41 PM on November 3, 2008
Trust me, your friend's basement smelling like a toilet can in no way compare to the hell of rotten meat in a car. That's the kind of reek that seeps into the metal. For all the value you'd take away from the car, you might as well just torch the thing. Either way it'll only be worth scrap value. It's a completely asymmetrical response.
Next time she gets super drunk in your presence, just go crazy on her with a sharpie. Write "I GOT DRUNK AND SHIT ON AN ACQUAINTANCE'S FLOOR" along each of her arms or something similar. That way she'd just have to wear long sleeves for a couple of weeks and there's a far smaller chance of cops being involved.
posted by bunnytricks at 4:41 PM on November 3, 2008
The best revenge is excluding her, as people have said. Anything else and you are just asking for trouble.
posted by lee at 4:42 PM on November 3, 2008
posted by lee at 4:42 PM on November 3, 2008
1. Pull a (name redacted): Wait until she goes on vacation for a week or two, then crap in her toilet, leave it unflushed, and tie the door open.
2. Pull a (name redacted): Wait until she goes to work, then crap in her microwave and cook it on high for 3 hours.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 4:42 PM on November 3, 2008
2. Pull a (name redacted): Wait until she goes to work, then crap in her microwave and cook it on high for 3 hours.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 4:42 PM on November 3, 2008
MeFi mailed you...
posted by jclovebrew at 4:43 PM on November 3, 2008
posted by jclovebrew at 4:43 PM on November 3, 2008
For God's sake, steam clean the carpet and then bill the girl. If she doesn't pay, take her to small claims court. You may not get her to show, but you can always frame the judgment as a nice memento.
nthing posting someone at the door. You might even make out wanted posters and post them around the house if she sneaks in. She obviously has no shame when drunk.
posted by wrnealis at 4:43 PM on November 3, 2008
nthing posting someone at the door. You might even make out wanted posters and post them around the house if she sneaks in. She obviously has no shame when drunk.
posted by wrnealis at 4:43 PM on November 3, 2008
Sounds like she may have a problem with alcohol. How about an intervention?
posted by chairface at 4:46 PM on November 3, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by chairface at 4:46 PM on November 3, 2008 [1 favorite]
Take the high road and bake her a Kitty Litter Cake.
posted by Frank Grimes at 4:46 PM on November 3, 2008
posted by Frank Grimes at 4:46 PM on November 3, 2008
I'm with ThePinkSuperhero. You have friends who are prepared to invite somebody to your friend's house expressly against their wishes? And you guys are so drunk/confused that you don't even notice she's there? This girl isn't the only problem you have. You guys are lucky you're not missing half your stuff!
If you were really 'tired of her antics', you wouldn't even be considering joining her in them. You'd stop inviting douchebags who bring unwanted friends to your house, and you'd stop getting so retarded you can't control who actually comes in.
posted by jacalata at 4:51 PM on November 3, 2008
If you were really 'tired of her antics', you wouldn't even be considering joining her in them. You'd stop inviting douchebags who bring unwanted friends to your house, and you'd stop getting so retarded you can't control who actually comes in.
posted by jacalata at 4:51 PM on November 3, 2008
I cannot imagine revenge worse than telling acquaintances, especially male acquaintances, that she shit on the floor. Don't just warn people, laugh about it, make it the funniest thing that ever happened, because frankly it will be after a while. Anything else is superfluous.
If you let her do it again, and then call the police, the shame of it might have an effect on her. Whoever does the DNA test on that dookie is going to earn their paycheck that week.
Is that ? A turd with a bullet in it ain't exactly five o'clock news
http://www.metafilter.com/images/italic.gif
posted by Countess Elena at 4:53 PM on November 3, 2008 [1 favorite]
If you let her do it again, and then call the police, the shame of it might have an effect on her. Whoever does the DNA test on that dookie is going to earn their paycheck that week.
Is that ? A turd with a bullet in it ain't exactly five o'clock news
http://www.metafilter.com/images/italic.gif
posted by Countess Elena at 4:53 PM on November 3, 2008 [1 favorite]
The letter should also state that this person is no longer welcome in the house, and that the next step will be pursuing a restraining order if she appears in the house again.
(IANAL) The next step is calling the police and reporting the trespassing. This step is repeated until the trespassing (or other behavior) rises to the level of harassment (in legal terms), at which point a TRO might be possible.
Like it or not, I'm not aware of any jurisdiction where "she shit on my floor" is grounds for a restraining order.
posted by toomuchpete at 4:54 PM on November 3, 2008
(IANAL) The next step is calling the police and reporting the trespassing. This step is repeated until the trespassing (or other behavior) rises to the level of harassment (in legal terms), at which point a TRO might be possible.
Like it or not, I'm not aware of any jurisdiction where "she shit on my floor" is grounds for a restraining order.
posted by toomuchpete at 4:54 PM on November 3, 2008
Since when does taking the high road mean not calling someone on her, well, shit? Has anyone spoken to her face to face to say "You do seriously bad, harmful, and stupid things when you're drunk. Your shit stain is still on my/so-and-so's basement carpet, and that's only the latest in the series of stupid and harmful things you've done. You need to stop, and you're not welcome at my/our parties until you do."
I could be misreading the situation, but it sounds like what's been happening is that she does stupid things while drunk, no one confronts her about it, and she doesn't take responsibility for her actions. Well why would she? Someone needs to hold her accountable.
posted by Meg_Murry at 4:56 PM on November 3, 2008
I could be misreading the situation, but it sounds like what's been happening is that she does stupid things while drunk, no one confronts her about it, and she doesn't take responsibility for her actions. Well why would she? Someone needs to hold her accountable.
posted by Meg_Murry at 4:56 PM on November 3, 2008
Is this one of the friends that takes concealed weapons into the mall?
Going by your past questions, it looks like you've had some trouble judging social cues. Seriously. A scene where people go toting guns and crapping on floors is not normal. Don't get back at her- get some new friends.
posted by dunkadunc at 5:01 PM on November 3, 2008 [1 favorite]
Going by your past questions, it looks like you've had some trouble judging social cues. Seriously. A scene where people go toting guns and crapping on floors is not normal. Don't get back at her- get some new friends.
posted by dunkadunc at 5:01 PM on November 3, 2008 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: tagged photos on facebook of course!
Someone did take a picture of it. We thought about posting it somewhere on the internet and making some kind of caption contest. But the thing with that, is that she can just deny it. Since it was a photo of the shit, and not her taking it.
We have confronted this girl over her antics, over and over, all we get is a "i'm sorry!". I would hate to involve the law in this, it seems like tattling, but it may be the next logical step.
posted by sixcolors at 5:03 PM on November 3, 2008
Someone did take a picture of it. We thought about posting it somewhere on the internet and making some kind of caption contest. But the thing with that, is that she can just deny it. Since it was a photo of the shit, and not her taking it.
We have confronted this girl over her antics, over and over, all we get is a "i'm sorry!". I would hate to involve the law in this, it seems like tattling, but it may be the next logical step.
posted by sixcolors at 5:03 PM on November 3, 2008
My goodness, I'm with chairface. She clearly has a problem with alcohol and needs help. I'm so sorry for your friend whose carpet was pooped upon; that's terrible. However, people without problems with alcohol don't poop on the floor. Along with recouping the cost of Stanley Steemer, maybe try to help the girl out? People don't act like that to be mean. They act like that because they have a problem with alcohol.
Getting help for her seems far more important than poop-based revenge strategies.
posted by Punctual at 5:03 PM on November 3, 2008
Getting help for her seems far more important than poop-based revenge strategies.
posted by Punctual at 5:03 PM on November 3, 2008
Response by poster: Is this one of the friends that takes concealed weapons into the mall?
Going by your past questions, it looks like you've had some trouble judging social cues. Seriously. A scene where people go toting guns and crapping on floors is not normal. Don't get back at her- get some new friends.
No, she isn't one of my friends who does that. Fortunately, my core group of friends have very few weirdos, it's the friends of my friends who are the weirdos.
posted by sixcolors at 5:05 PM on November 3, 2008
Going by your past questions, it looks like you've had some trouble judging social cues. Seriously. A scene where people go toting guns and crapping on floors is not normal. Don't get back at her- get some new friends.
No, she isn't one of my friends who does that. Fortunately, my core group of friends have very few weirdos, it's the friends of my friends who are the weirdos.
posted by sixcolors at 5:05 PM on November 3, 2008
This thread is closed to new comments.
You're dealing with someone who is prepared to get drunk and shit on someone's carpet. If this descends inevitably into a cycle of retribution, how do you think you can win?
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 4:24 PM on November 3, 2008 [8 favorites]