Please don't flirt with me!
October 25, 2008 9:46 AM Subscribe
How to maintain self-respect without trashing a friend?
posted by puckish to human relations (15 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
I have a friend who comes to visit on occasion. I've known him for a long time (since high school) and while we've never been particularly close, he's very cool and easy-going, and I like hanging out with him well enough. Lately, though, he's been REALLY OBVIOUSLY hitting on me in a way I don't appreciate. He has dated / been attached to previous friends of mine, and these relationships haven't really worked out for him. I feel like he's effectively using me as a replacement for these other girls.
This is obviously not particularly flattering, and often quite awkward for me (I don't like being referred to as "sexy" or "beautiful" when I'm clearly not flirting back). At the same time, it's largely innocuous - he's a nice guy, mostly harmless, and really interesting to talk to when he's not being kind of a jerk about this. What I'd really like to do, of course, is be able to hang out with him without the song and dance --- just talk like normal people, be friendly, and hang out without having to navigate this (unreciprocated) sexual tension.
I know the easiest solution is just to avoid him. But you know, people are mostly good and I think deserve the benefit of doubt -- or at least, tolerance of minor flaws. Also, I don't see him so often that I feel like this is really a problem (it's mostly just an annoyance).
Still, it's something i'd like to fix.
Any thoughts on how to best approach this?