Make me Sarah Palin

October 20, 2008 9:14 PM

Help me perfect my Sarah Palin costume.

I am planning on dressing as Sarah Palin for Halloween. I've already perfected my impression and showcased it at a department party/VP debate watching party earlier this month. Right now I am trying to consider the various subtleties that would make the costume keen. I have the perfect black dress suit (may look for a red one as well), plans for the glasses, heels, flag pin(s), hairdo, makeup, etc.

I have also planned on carrying some pictures of my kids "Trak" and "Trig" which will, of course, be pictures of various running tracks and trigonometric figures, and will likely sport something to do with rape kits. I am looking for other things along similar lines to add to my costume, things that are centrally and readily identifiable as Palinesque, and that would be relatively easy to create or replicate and carry around all night.

posted by inconsequentialist to clothing, beauty, & fashion (34 comments total)

bring a creepy old date?
posted by H. Roark at 9:21 PM on October 20, 2008 [6 favorites]

Accessory-wise, a hockey puck to drop in the middle of the party. To really top it off, have your friends boo as you do it.

Red is becoming her "known" color, if nothing else because of Tina Fey wearing it during the SNL bits.
posted by shinynewnick at 9:22 PM on October 20, 2008

Wear a star-spangled bikini top under the jacket, and let it peep out ever-so-slightly when you're turned at a cocky-yet-alluring angle.
posted by pseudostrabismus at 9:24 PM on October 20, 2008

And your running surface joke is especially accurate. The kid is actually named "Track".
posted by shinynewnick at 9:24 PM on October 20, 2008

Good suggestions so far. Sorry about the misspelling of her son's name. For some reason I really thought that it was spelled without a 'c.'
posted by inconsequentialist at 9:26 PM on October 20, 2008

Explain to any other party goers that the reason why you didn't rap on the last SNL was because you didn't want to have to pay for your rap kit.
posted by ktrey at 9:27 PM on October 20, 2008 [6 favorites]

I'm too cheap to shell out for a non-lavender long wig for my Palin updo, so I think I'm going to go as Space Palin or Zombie Palin instead of my original plan, Assassi...umm, never mind that now. D'ya think Space Palin would be pushing the envelope?

(I suspect there's gonna be a lot of us out there this year! It'll be FUN!)
posted by bitter-girl.com at 9:29 PM on October 20, 2008

Hold an amendment banning gay marriage. Or hand out fliers.
posted by damn dirty ape at 9:30 PM on October 20, 2008

Whatever you do, do something distinctive - have a shtick - because you will probably not be the only Palin you run into that night. The task will be to be the best Palin.
posted by Miko at 9:31 PM on October 20, 2008

Carry around a clipboard with a picture of Mike Wooten and Walt Monegan with big red "X"s over them.
posted by shinynewnick at 9:32 PM on October 20, 2008

Can you carry around a (toy) shotgun and ask if people have seen any wolves?
posted by schroedinger at 9:35 PM on October 20, 2008

Slap a moose hat on your significant other if you're gonna carry the toy gun, though.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 9:37 PM on October 20, 2008

Is a sash that says "Miss Alaska" too obvious?
posted by peep at 9:37 PM on October 20, 2008

Binoculars. With which to see Vladimir Putin up in your airspace.
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 9:41 PM on October 20, 2008

Carry a piece of paper that reads "All of Them" at the top in traditional newspaper lettering.
posted by Deathalicious at 9:43 PM on October 20, 2008 [9 favorites]

Binoculars. With which to see Vladimir Putin up in your airspace.

Bonus points if you can use toy binoculars and make a little cutout of Putin "rearing his head" which people can see when they look through. Hand them the binocs, ask them to look, and assert "ya, that's what I can see from my narrow maritime border!"
posted by Miko at 9:44 PM on October 20, 2008

Oh! And don't forget a clipboard listing talking points. The more garbled, the better. Put "Knows Bill Ayers ===== terrorist" at the top.
posted by Deathalicious at 9:45 PM on October 20, 2008

I've heard from people who have run into her that she is a lot hotter and shorter in person. Not sure how that can help you in deciding a costume, I just like repeating that fact.
posted by Deathalicious at 9:46 PM on October 20, 2008 [1 favorite]

Three words: dinosaur action figures.
posted by awesomebrad at 9:58 PM on October 20, 2008

These answers are awesome and very, very helpful.

awesomebrad: Thank you for this suggestion because it reminded me of the Sarah Palin as vice president post from a few days ago on MeFi. The site would be another good place for me to get some ideas.
posted by inconsequentialist at 10:11 PM on October 20, 2008

5 dolls of varying sizes hanging from your breasts?
posted by Kickstart70 at 10:38 PM on October 20, 2008

Seconding that the suit should really be red. That is the iconic Palin outfit right now. And a BIG, ridiculous flag-pin.

Maybe a "Honk if You Support Our Troops" bumper sticker on your ass.

For 300 more ideas, all the props in the already-on-MeFi Palin as President are good starting points.
posted by rokusan at 10:39 PM on October 20, 2008 [1 favorite]

Steer the conversation towards energy policy, so you can use the word "nucular"
posted by clearly at 11:56 PM on October 20, 2008

Oh! And don't forget a clipboard listing talking points.

And refer to it before answering any question you're asked, no matter how simple. And I'll give you bonus points if you can sneak in, "...Um...... your plan is a white flag of surrender!"

You may also wanna include a copy of the "Sarah Palin Debate Flow Chart." Not that you'd actually use it, but you'll get some laughs if you pass it around.

Just don't go overboard with the props. Limit it to a couple for laughs, and not for "Look at me, I'm Sarah Palin, get it?" purposes. You don't wanna beat a dead wolf. Really, all you need are the glasses and the hairdo. And unless you know everyone there will be pro-Obama, you don't wanna utilize anything that's too political, or sensitive. It should be fun and light-hearted. (Maybe it's just me, but the rape kit thing seems kinda dark for a costume party.)
posted by TheSecretDecoderRing at 11:57 PM on October 20, 2008

Don't break character.
posted by box at 4:45 AM on October 21, 2008

Don't break character.
And if you don't know how to say something in character, just talk about something unrelated for extra authenticity.
posted by borkencode at 5:05 AM on October 21, 2008 [2 favorites]

A minor point, but if you're fine-tuning the look, she's wearing 3/4 sleeves a lot. More than 3/4 of the time in fact.
posted by mundy at 5:43 AM on October 21, 2008

Instead of heels, you could wear big snow boots.

Depending on where the party is, it would be fun to bring along a radio-controlled snowmobile.
posted by SuperSquirrel at 5:43 AM on October 21, 2008

A power drill.
posted by i_am_a_fiesta at 6:21 AM on October 21, 2008

A bible with the Flintstones on the cover.
posted by dirtdirt at 6:33 AM on October 21, 2008

Get a little stuffed-animal pig and attach a tube of lipstick to its "hands".
posted by Robert Angelo at 7:33 AM on October 21, 2008

Those black knee-high, high heeled boots have been getting a lot of attention. Along with the red suit, with a short (above the knee) skirt, that's her signature outfit right now.
posted by chowflap at 7:57 AM on October 21, 2008

The earrings are important too. She often wears little gold ones in the shape of Alaska. But moose poop earrings would be funny too.
posted by carmicha at 10:14 AM on October 21, 2008

Don't forget to enter this contest.
posted by jenfullmoon at 4:08 PM on October 21, 2008