How to involve a hotel in a toy ransom?

October 17, 2008 7:50 AM

Co-workers have been out of the office this week staying at a hotel on the other side of the country and I've kidnapped their toy for ransom. How to proceed using this third party?

I've created a ransom note and will be sending it to them by anonymous email to their Blackberries. I want to contact them by leaving a fax or a message at the hotel desk and need it to be innocent enough not to create any alarms at the hotel. Any suggestions about how to proceed? They'll be back on Monday and I plan to send them photos of the Ice Cream Man in a secret location in the office. Thanks!

posted by KathyK to grab bag (11 answers total)

Make a fax cover page from one of their assistants or the office secretary calmly asking how to proceed.
posted by spec80 at 7:54 AM on October 17, 2008

Phone the front desk at the hotel, and talk to either a manager or the concierge. Explain the prank to him, make sure he thinks it's funny*... and then tell him you're sending a fax to HIS ATTENTION to forward to the correct guests without the cover page.

Then use a cover page addressed to him, saying something like... "Richard, here's the picture we talked about. Please throw away this cover page before delivering, and thank you again."

(But don't sign it. Just in case.)

(*If he doesn't think it's funny, move on to the next manager/front-desk staff person and repeat until you find a co-conspirator.)
posted by rokusan at 8:24 AM on October 17, 2008

(A small conspiracy like this with the hotel staff is nothing. They're in the business of hiding their guests indiscretions with alcohol, drugs, live boys and dead girls... playing along on surprise honeymoons and hookups and all sorts of fun. They're good at this sort of thing.)
posted by rokusan at 8:26 AM on October 17, 2008

For the next photo you send them, I suggest pouring some melted chocolate chips (easy to do in the microwave -- just stir it every 30 seconds or so) into two sections of an ice-cube tray. Then you can put the ice cream man's feet in there, and let the chocolate solidify. For the next photo you send, show the ice cream man teetering precipitously on the edge of a big bowl of milk. Attach to the photo a mafioso-style message about how you've already fitted him for a pair of "chocolate shoes".
posted by Greg Nog at 8:34 AM on October 17, 2008 [10 favorites]

Drag it out over the course of next week. If you can find an identical or similar toy, cut off its ears and/or fingers one by one and attach them to further ransom notes, increasing your demands all the time until eventually the real toy is released unharmed.

This happened at my office with my Eric Cantona Corinthian Figure, and I was forced to buy his freedom with vast quantities of Cadbury's Chocolate Fingers. It was a fun and welcome distraction from our normal routine.
posted by essexjan at 9:03 AM on October 17, 2008

These are great! Ransom note has been sent from the GMNP Nabber's gmail (my pseudonym) and has been received by the co-workers. Of course they know it's me and have gone to pool their money together. No demands have been made yet but I still want to incorporate a fax from the co-worker's assistant to the hotel.

A series of photos of the hostage have been taken around the office (here, here and here). Not sure if I'll use these but I do want to have them around for further torturing. Chocolate shoes and milk idea is great.

Keep em coming!
posted by KathyK at 9:14 AM on October 17, 2008

Send "proof of life" updates with shots of the toy next to a current newspaper. Or make a diorama of some GI-JOE figures standing behind the toy brandishing big guns a la al qaeda. Then a little photoshop to turn that contented ice creamy smile into a pall of fright and despair.
posted by cowbellemoo at 10:15 AM on October 17, 2008

swaddle him in toilet paper and pose him on a block ala abu ghraib.
posted by lester at 11:34 AM on October 17, 2008

Woohoo, I created an audio file of my demands on a text-to-speech program using a creepy voice and a pic of the milk chocolate shoes. Now to send the fax to the hotel.
posted by KathyK at 1:32 PM on October 17, 2008

Oh man, I'm outta control.
posted by KathyK at 4:01 PM on October 17, 2008

My favorite is the paper-cutter guillotine.
posted by umbú at 5:46 PM on October 17, 2008