What to get kind of wedding gift should I, a very poor college student, give my coworker?

October 11, 2008 7:27 PM

What to get kind of wedding gift should I, a very poor college student, give my coworker?

I work in a very small law office. There's only two lawyers and three secretaries. One of the secretaries is getting married tomorrow and I don't know what to get her. She's 27. She's Vietnamese and her fiance is Chinese. There will be about 600 people there.
I'm a college student so I don't have a lot of money to spend. The cheaper the suggestion the better.

posted by ad4pt to society & culture (15 comments total)

Anyone else in the office a poor college student? Anyone you could buck up with and get a card + gift card?
posted by beachhead2 at 7:33 PM on October 11, 2008

BTW - I didn't expect gifts from students when we got married.
posted by beachhead2 at 7:34 PM on October 11, 2008

Have no fear- technically, you have a year to send a gift after you attend a wedding. Go to the wedding, scope out what other people got, send something similar in your price range afterwards (since it's a pain for all parties to bring something to the wedding anyway).
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:36 PM on October 11, 2008 [1 favorite]

Giving cash is very common in Asian cultures. Put what you can afford in an envelope labeled to the bride and groom. If you live near any Asian markets, get a red envelope, similar to the ones given at Chinese New Year.
posted by junesix at 7:38 PM on October 11, 2008

I am the only college student. She's actually the second youngest in the office. I'm 19.
posted by ad4pt at 7:42 PM on October 11, 2008

How about a board game? Cheap, but fun!
posted by k8t at 7:43 PM on October 11, 2008

Are they registered? If so, just get something small you can afford from that list. If nothing works, go to the same store where they're registered, and get a nice picture frame. Include the gift receipt and you're golden. If you take photos at the wedding, slip one in the frame and you're A++ for effort and thought. Really, after having gone to, oh, 800+ weddings in the last year (it seems) and hearing about the gifts from people afterwards, there's really only a VERY few gifts that stand out as overly generous or weird. Don't give something super crafty if you don't know them very well. Otherwise, if you think others will be giving those little red envelopes (I bet there will be), just put what you can afford in one. A nice wedding card with cash or gift card is fine too. I know it's stressful but if you're going, enjoy yourself, and a small token that you recognize the significance of the day, and your joy at being invited, will be well received.
posted by barnone at 7:59 PM on October 11, 2008 [1 favorite]

Oh yeah. If you mail something, make sure a gift tag is included WITH YOUR NAME on it. If you bring a gift to the ceremony, make sure your card is doubly-taped to the box. There is nothing more frustrating than having cards and gifts, and not knowing which is which. I wish I could tell that to every wedding guest ever.
posted by barnone at 8:03 PM on October 11, 2008

ThePinkSuperhero: "Have no fear- technically, you have a year to send a gift after you attend a wedding."

Not according to Emily Post.
posted by IndigoRain at 8:16 PM on October 11, 2008

Emily who? Miss Manners all the way!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:19 PM on October 11, 2008 [1 favorite]

No picture frames. According to at least one Asian superstition (of the few hundred that my grandmother subscribes to, which causes no end of trouble whenever we need to pick out something for her), giving a picture frame means you hope for the recipient's death. Of course since the couple is from a younger generation they probably won't actually believe in such malarkey, but why risk dampening the mood?

Another point to consider is that giving red envelopes is much more an Asian thing than an Asian-American thing - it's expected from older first-generation relatives or family friends, and kind of odd coming from casual acquaintances or friends of the same generation. If you decide to give cash, at least give a gift card.

If you want to go the culturally aware route, just keep in mind that fish, bee, and orange motifs are considered lucky because they're respectively homonyms for plenty, bountifulness, and good fortune.
posted by casarkos at 9:02 PM on October 11, 2008 [1 favorite]

One of the best gifts I received at my wedding were a pair of movie passes and a gift certificate to a local ethnic restaurant. Some of my co-workers chipped in and got us a gift certificate to a greenhouse/florist, so we could pick out a plant or two for our house or yard, which we had a lot of fun selecting.

I'd say if you are on a budget, that a modest gift certificate to one of these type of places would be a lovely gesture.
posted by pluckysparrow at 9:50 PM on October 11, 2008

A nice pitcher (silver or glass, maybe from their registry?) filled with fresh flowers would be nice. Bring the flowers and pitcher separately, fill on site. Add a tag with a note.
posted by liketitanic at 10:31 PM on October 11, 2008

Nothing that requires tending the day of the wedding, or special transport after the wedding. There's enough crap to move out of the hall after a wedding without taking care not to spill/drop the flowers in a new vase. Plus the couple might be going out of town for a bit, or at least not going home directly that night. Apologies about the picture frame, but I do know that giftcards and cash ARE still done very frequently at Asian and Asian-American weddings, and if the co-worker was to do the same, it wouldn't be out of place.
posted by barnone at 10:59 PM on October 11, 2008

I would just buy something inexpensive from the registry. That's what I did as a poor college student. It's something small, but at least it's something you know the couple wants. Alternately, when all the cheaper things were snapped up, I would buy them a cookbook.
posted by bluefly at 6:50 AM on October 12, 2008