Comments on: It's not you; it's me.

Question: It's not you; it's me.

Anonymous — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 14:06:08 -0800

How do I politely decline a job offer?

I decided that my current job is unfixably broken and put the word out amongst my friends in the local tech community that I was trying to find a new position. A couple people got back to me and now I have some job leads, but two of them have unworkable commutes and a third is asking for way more time than I can commit to. They are all interesting companies, and I don't want to step on any toes. Is there anything wrong or stupid about telling them these reasons up front?

By: contraption

contraption — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 14:17:44 -0800

Of course not. Those are perfectly understandable and polite reasons, and in fact would make good excuses if the real reasons were more along the lines of "I know and despise the management" or "I think the business plan is doomed." With truths this innocuous, why would you even bother trying to come up with a lie?

By: pdb

pdb — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 14:24:41 -0800

Not at all. "Job leads" are just that - they're not offering you jobs, they're just offering to get you in the door for an interview. If you can't make any of them work, they won't take it personally.

By: Pants!

Pants! — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 14:52:12 -0800

Those are perfectly good reasons. But you can use those leads to ask the offerers about other people you may talk to about other offers.

By: explosion

explosion — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 14:52:18 -0800

As long as you politely decline it with a genuine "thank you", no one's feelings will get hurt. It's really that simple, they didn't really put themselves out there, and there won't be any backlash on their end by you declining.

By: finding.perdita

finding.perdita — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 15:18:38 -0800

I agree with everyone else in that they're good reasons to turn down a job that no-one will take personally, but it might be worth taking the leads further anyway.

Data point 1 - we recently had a contractor who asked, in renewal discussions, about the possibility of working from home a couple of days a week, which as he was good at his job, we agreed rather than losing him. Could this work for you? (Could an unworkable commute 5 days a week be workable 3 days a week if you could work from home 2 days a week?)

Data point 2 - I recently applied for a job with a very vague job description. I asked for clarification in the interview, and then expressed reservations as it wasn't what I was looking for. They asked what I was looking for, and then made some changes internally and ended up offered me the job I wanted.

You'll never know unless you try... And if it doesn't work out, it's still good interview experience! (And in my experience, you tend to be less nervous in interviews for jobs that you're not sure you want - which can make the interviewers more likely to want you!)

Good luck.

By: rokusan

rokusan — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 15:26:38 -0800

As Contraption said, "thanks but the commute is just too much for me" and "I can't commit to that much time right now" are very kind responses that won't offend anyone sane.