I'd rather be obsessive/compulsive than confused.

October 1, 2008 6:31 PM

Organization, self and environmental control and time management: How do I holistically reduce chaos from my life so that I can function well? I don't just need a plan, I need follow through.

I was never an organized person and my family is (if you've read my past posts) rather poor examples in general life management. Unfortunately I'm not a thrives-in-creative-chaos style of person, and not being able to track and control day to day matters leads me to gibbering.

Some people are very good at consistent work and time management. I am not. I understand the theory, but the execution is my problem. For example day planners are good, but I find any that are big enough to encompass the detail I need to keep track of is too large to cart about comfortably.

One of the big difficulties I have is managing the material side of productivity. The idea of say, a GTD 43 folder system makes me run away screaming in fear, because the more individual parts something productivity related has to keep track of, the quicker I find it falls apart and the harder it is to use. So far I’ve had trouble embarking on more than tentatively writing my class schedule down. Remember the milk and its ilk quickly became overwhelming because I had to remember to log in an check it, and the IM notifications were too easy to tune out as spam. For a while I had luck with a pen and paper ‘To Do’ list in a doodle-sketch book, but that got abandoned when my task list got overwhelming as far as quantity and steps to completion.

Another problem is that everything I touch gets destroyed or lost. Books get rumpled, screens get scratched, clothing gets stained, my body is covered with dozens of injuries, all self inflicted from day to day chores like cooking, cleaning and even shopping trips (I looked like I'd been beaten, after a trip to Ikea), thanks to how clumsy I am. I'm tired of not being able to own nice things or go a day without injuries. This is part of the same chaotic bent that otherwise rules my life. Not having nice things also makes me anxious as I have an over developed aesthetic sense that makes handling these damaged materials almost painful. This isn’t me being picky about my stuff either. From an early age I was constantly losing everything and anything put in my custody got smashed. This has gotten better as I age, but it’s tiring to face something I’ve fought since grade one.

I also have trouble using time efficiently. Fugue states, where my brain feels like it can’t function, get underfoot when I have a term paper to write, class notes to record or a consistent line of thought I want to follow. Part of this can be too much anxiety, or being bombarded with too much external energy, or wonky blood sugar levels, but whatever the cause, I frequently feel tense, lethargic and almost dizzy, a fate that causes me to escape into something simpler, like a book or drawing.

My mildly autistic brain thrives on routines and algorithms. For example, I took to hormonal birth control like a duck to water, since the 'same-time-every-day' side of things was actually very soothing. I am happiest following patterns, but establishing these patterns is exhausting and that’s where I’m hoping the hivemind can help. I can usually work around these ‘bleh’ moments enough to meet deadlines, but it leads to way too much rushing and cramming.
Note: While possible I have ADHD, I think I’m suffering from the side effects of Aspergers. For one thing my focus is fine-bordering-on-obsessive, once I eliminate competing stimulus. And I've been officially diagnosed with Aspergers by a psychiatrist.

I need:
A way of tracking class notes, deadlines, events I’d potentially like to attend (ie, gallery openings or speeches), writing commitments, things I need to do in the future (ie talk to my academic advisor about my major), people’s birthdays and general data. Bonus if I can use Microsoft “One Note” and other simple, no learning curve computer based answers. It’s easier to back up a laptop then try to add a moleskin or something to my stuff to remember and haul heap.

A way to combat the way that my brain goes into ‘test pattern’ too easily. If I could solve this, I would probably gain an extra ten hours a week. Is this a medical problem or does every human do this? Do I need more iron in my diet or something?

Some way to stop everything I own being destroyed by normal use. What steps am I missing? Do I need cute little covers for everything? Should I buy lots of tidy containers, organizers and dividers or is that a waste of money?

A way to efficiently use time to complete studying, self care (ie fitness, house chores) and writing commitments in manageable chunks instead of last minute cramming or skipping the task entirely. One that allows for some flexibility (since I want a good schedule in part so I can choose to deviate and still have a clear cut plan to get caught up on the days something sudden pops up), and allows for zoning out.

Resources for the terminally chaos inflicted, which do more than give me a day planner and tell me to try harder to focus. One of the most frustrating things about this is that I’m running the red queen’s racetrack just to get through a normal school week.

Anything else you think is awesome. Even if I've tried it already, another reader with my problem might not have.

posted by Phalene to grab bag (11 comments total)

My solution is - at the end of every day, I email myself the next day's 'docket' if you will. If I find a good event, I put it on the docket.

What you need is to chill, look at what stuff is important to you, and put it on the docket.
posted by msamye at 6:56 PM on October 1, 2008

Hello, me.
I've improved on a few of these things. For me, it was more like a series of big lifestyle changes, but I'll go through your questions and hope that I can convey the whole picture.

A way of tracking class notes (...)
I love Google Calendar and Google Docs for this. Eventually, I'd like to own an iPod Touch so that I can carry that information with me (sleek design, web browser...), but it's more important to get into good habits than to use fancy gadgets. Also, Remember the Milk is a good to-do checklist that I've had success with.


A way to combat the way that my brain goes into ‘test pattern’ too easily.
I'm not sure I understand your question. I did start taking iron supplements for anemia at about the time I became more organized, and it helps to be able to focus better, but, of course, IANYD.

Some way to stop everything I own being destroyed by normal use.
Love everything you own. Or, rather, only own things that you love. Takin care of those things should be much easier then. Also, find a bag that's big enough for everything (I used to cram everything in a small tote). Clean out that bag every night so that receipts and metro tickets don't accumulate at the bottom. I've implemented a system where I put all my class things in color-coded folders, but, again, the habits have to come before the gadgets.


A way to efficiently use time to complete studying, self care and writing commitments in manageable chunks (...)
Not sure I can answer that one without knowing you, but putting everything in Google Calendar and seeing the week ahead of me as blocks of time really helped me. Procrastination is the worst kind of self-sabotage. I used to allow very little time for assignments, so that when I got a crappy grade on it, I had a ready-made excuse: I only spent two hours on it. I can't explain how I did it in a short post (and this is long enough already!) but there are resources out there (see next question).

Resources for the terminally chaos inflicted, which do more than give me a day planner and tell me to try harder to focus. (...)
This website has helped me see the bigger picture, chilled me out, and kept me motivated. I also took some workshops at my school on motivation, procrastination, communication... they all help.

(wow, this was long)
posted by OLechat at 7:01 PM on October 1, 2008 [1 favorite]

This website has helped me see the bigger picture...

Hmm, I was talking about this one.
posted by OLechat at 7:05 PM on October 1, 2008

This book was pretty helpful to me. It's mostly about organizing your house and your workspace.
posted by freshwater_pr0n at 7:55 PM on October 1, 2008

Here is an earlier thread that might be useful!
posted by canine epigram at 9:22 PM on October 1, 2008

Less stuff. Much less stuff.
Deadlines into Outlook with sufficient warning time (ie assignments warn 4 days in advance or whatever), visits to the doctor ring with 1 hour warning. Class timetable can be set in Outlook to, with repeat functions. Birthdays - set once, repeat annually, remind with two weeks (or whatever notice). Occasionally print off the calendars from outlook.

Class notes saved in appropriate directories - Uni\Semester 1\SUBJ101\Assignment 1 or weekly lecture 4 or whatever.
Slow down. You now know that leaving too late and going too fast is going to destroy. So leave early. Go slowly. Pretend you're in molasses. Fake it for a couple of weeks, but make it a priority to always pick up your text, and pack it away carefully. Build a habit.

Household tasks can be squeezed in between homework. Set a timer for 3/4 hour (or ten minutes or whatever length of time you can work successfully). When it goes off, set it again, and do housework for that time - put a load of washing on, clear the junk off the table, that sort of thing. You'd be amazed at how much you can achieve like that.

With assignments, spend 20 minutes or so thinking about how, if you were organised, you would do an assignment. Would you spend 2 hours researching the topic, and then 4 hours writing? There's much more to it than that, so write a list of what an assignment entails. Then, when it's assigned, book that time into Outlook with easily understandable titles (eg - Monday 8am, Library, preliminary research Ass't 1 SUBJ1023) and so on.

Cute little covers and boxes and plastic things are usually a waste of time and money. Slow down.
posted by b33j at 3:05 AM on October 2, 2008 [4 favorites]

I think b33j's advice to slow down is spot-on. You know, "haste makes waste" and all that. You are trying to do too much, and to be perfect at all of it, and as a consequence you aren't doing well at any of it.

You find the space to slow down by ruthlessly culling stuff, and by performing triage on what you need to get done. Yes, physical stuff — keep the bare minimum, and only things that are nice enough to be worth taking care of. But more importantly, cull events and commitments that aren't adding anything to your life. You keep the important parts (classes, dinner with your partner) and you drop the rest. Hobbies can wait until you have more time, money, and space. Things that you feel you "should" do, but don't enjoy, can go out the window.

The triage has the goal of buying yourself the space to slow down and be able to do fewer things, better. In your case, it's probably going to be classes and being a good partner, and maybe one other thing (a job, or a key committee, or whatever). Everything else simply drops off the radar screen until you have these key things sorted out.

For classes, keep a list (on paper or computer) of assignments, and check it every morning or evening to make sure that there isn't something due tomorrow that you'd forgotten about. I never kept notes, etc, digitally; I just used folders, one per class kept in my backpack, plus a folder or binder at home for keeping returned assignments and things like that. That way you have the syllabus and important handouts with you at all times, ready to be pulled out and checked if you are in the library and need to see which article you are supposed to be reading. If you are all digital, I think it would work about the same, with a few changes.

Again, you are buying yourself space and time, by not having more stuff following you around. All you need in your backpack is three or four folders, your portable to-do list (pda? laptop? schedule?), a book or article that you are going to read today at a particular time, and lunch.

So the triage for your classwork might look something like:

-- Get to class every day, on time. Write up a schedule, tape it to the fridge or the mirror or anywhere else you will see it in the morning, and make this your absolute priority.

-- Class readings and assignments. Do them, but with a very clear eye on the bottom line. If one assignment is 1.5% of a semester grade, and another is 30%, that should tell you which one gets priority. Figure out which readings are core and have to be read, and which ones are more optional and can be skimmed or even skipped.

-- Things like being class president or social affairs director can wait until next year. Same to "study groups" that are really chat groups, being treasurer of the anime club, or anything else.

-- Talking with your adviser is important, but doesn't need to be scheduled weeks away. Deal with that when you get there.

Schedules are great, but only if you follow them. So a weekly schedule that broke out your days, like "Monday 8-9 class; 10-11 gym; 11-1130 housework; etc" would work fine... but the schedule can't force you to do those things.

So it's not the schedule per se that's the problem. It's you overcommitting, not prioritizing, and then freezing up that's the problem. And you solve that by ruthlessly culling what you are actually committed to doing.
posted by Forktine at 8:04 AM on October 2, 2008 [4 favorites]

I use a big ass calendar with big ass boxes on each day, in a prominent place I cannot help but look at every day. Mine is at my desk at work since I spend more time there than anyplace else. But for you? On the fridge, front door, by your bed, computer, wherever you can't miss it. Sort of a day planner you hang up. I'm talking big enough to actually write yourself a note or two for the day.
I can get away with a few reminder notes in each box; a friend of mine who is a post-it fan writes out a post it note for the day and sticks it in the right spot, and adds more notes if she needs to. Its too cluttered for me, but it works for you, so tweak as needed for your own style.
This is a supplement to the to-do list, not the whole thing. But I find that if I can look at what's coming up ahead, several times a day, it helps a lot. I can reference notes, day planner, to do list, whatever, closer to the actual time. But the calendar reminds me to CHECK the day planner/to-do list for the 'rest of the story'.

Example: Calendar - Oct 31 Halloween Party 7pm
Day planner for Oct 31 - Halloween Party, 7 pm, S hosts, @ co-op party room, bring candy to share
To do list - Finalize costume by Oct 10th for party. Buy candy (20 people, equiv. 1 mini choco bar, to share) by Oct 20th.
Also, e-mailing yourself reminders helps: Oct 30th e-mail sent before bed: DON'T FORGET CANDY, you put it in the cupboard over the fridge.
posted by sandraregina at 9:36 AM on October 2, 2008 [2 favorites]

I'm tired of not being able to own nice things or go a day without injuries

Seconding b33j's "slow down", and also suggesting a little mind game. When I find myself getting into a clumsy phase, I start thinking of myself as a dancer. "For today, I'm a dancer." (I have never actually been a dancer.) Thinking this way brings my attention to where my limbs are and how I'm moving them.

It's a mindfulness practice, really, and becoming more mindful - just taking a moment to pay attention to where you are, what you're doing, and what your intention is - may be a habit that helps with all the things you're asking about.

Also, decluttering may help more than you think. When the tide of clutter starts rising around my desk, I end up with a lot more stubbed toes and paper cuts.
posted by kristi at 9:46 AM on October 2, 2008 [1 favorite]

To help with your physical coordination, you need to learn some new skills. Many people have never had any formal training in moving their bodies through space, and learning about this will help you avoid painful encounters between your body and objects around you.

You can take a dance class, yoga, alexander technique, or martial arts class to help you learn these things. You like structure, so look for a class where the beginning of class routines will be the same each time (just ask the teacher about it, they should be happy to discuss their class). Look for smaller class sizes and an instructor with a minimum of 5 years experience in teaching whatever it is they are teaching. If you decide to go with martial arts, find a teacher who focuses more on the ¨arts¨ side than the ¨martial¨ side. You may need to take these classes off campus.

Over time, you will develop greater mastery of how you move through the world, injure yourself far less, and avoid breaking items around you.
posted by yohko at 6:19 PM on October 2, 2008

Hi Phalene (apologies for the LONG post),

Wow, it's amazing to read your question - I relate to so much of it! I know exactly what you mean about the "test pattern" - I lose hours that way - and have always tended to batter and break things. I'm female, 30, and have only recently realized that I have a touch of depression and Aspergers. I haven't come close to figuring it out, but I'll share what works for me, and I'd love to hear more of how you get on.

Re: the "test pattern", my theory is that this is our brain's reaction to over-stimulus. Like you I have a lot of different things on my plate. I think at a certain point our brains can't deal with the pressure of that, and we zone out. I found one simple thing that helped A LOT with this. I use a Yahoo Widget called Gorgy clock, so that my laptop chimes gently every fifteen minutes. If I've entered test pattern it wakes me up a little - simple but amazingly effective! I also try to avoid multitasking, because it fractures my focus too much. I read about some zen master who would meditate by just thinking of what he was doing - e.g. "I'm walking" "I'm eating" etc. So I try to keep at the front of my mind what I am actually doing. Sometimes I'll write down the thing that I'm doing now on a sticky note and put it on my laptop, which feels totally silly, but helps me to stay on track.

I read Getting Things Done too, and tried it out. The system is way too involved for me! But one thing that stood out is his capturing everything principle, and how that can reduce stress. I tried LOTS of different systems and am only just finding a system that works for me. I use Omnifocus (unfortunately mac only!!) as my catchall. I have a blackberry, and I use that to catch things that I think of on the go. Instead of traditional "place" contexts I have Today, Tomorrow, This week, This month, This year, and Someday/Maybe. I use a script to sync that to toodledo, so I can access everything from my blackberry. For scheduling, I use ICal, synced to my Google calendar and Blackberry. For recurring tasks and birthdays I use RememberTheMilk, ICal and my Blackberry. Together they nag me enough to get things done - but only if I make sure the reminder turns up really close to the time that I actually do the thing!

About breaking things... I sometimes think my brain is like a baby's - when something goes out of my field of vision I forget it's there. Then I break it. The only remedy I have found is to NAG myself, and try to create strict HABITS of creating set places for things and putting them away. I am finally starting to make progress as my mind realizes - oh, I could ignore that that's there, but if I do I will break it and get upset. Again, nag yourself. Incessantly. Members of my family have found Tai-Chi helpful for teh clumsiness.

I thing the main thing is to remember that when you fail, it doesn't mean you're an ineffective person, but it DOES mean you need to look dispassionately at what you've been trying, and troubleshoot it creatively. Whatever solution you end up finding will be cobbled together just to suit you! I would also have a medical check-up just to rule out physical causes or depression. Good luck finding your solution, and please feel free to email me at my username at hotmail.

GOOD LUCK!
posted by blu_stocking at 8:20 PM on October 5, 2008 [2 favorites]