Comments on: New baby - what to get now for 18th birthday?

Question: New baby - what to get now for 18th birthday?

Bigbrowncow — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 03:34:11 -0800

Our baby daughter is nearly two weeks old. We want to do something special now for her 18th/21st birthday. We are doing a baby book with our thoughts about her now and will be putting some money aside into her UK child trust fund. Port seems so old fashioned and whisky so inappropriate. Any ideas?

By: Brandon Blatcher

Brandon Blatcher — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 03:48:20 -0800

The best thing you could do is to be the kind of parents your child will want to spend some or part of their 18th/21st birthday with.

By: ReiToei

ReiToei — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 03:54:14 -0800

Plant some nice trees.

By: misteraitch

misteraitch — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 03:54:57 -0800

You could make a time-capsule of sorts, and put in all manner of current ephemera in it: newspapers, magazines, CDs & the like, to give her older self a look at how things were when she was born.

I don't know if there are any fruit trees that'll bear fruit after 20 years or so, but if there are you could plant one for her. Or what ReiToei said.

By: adiabat

adiabat — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 04:02:05 -0800

The neighbors across the street planted a tree in their yard the day my parents brought me home from the hospital. We moved away from that neighborhood when I was still a child, and yet on the rare occasion I find myself back in the same city, I make a point of stopping by the old house to look at "my" tree.

It's perhaps not what you're looking for in terms of a coming-of-age birthday present, but planting a tree can be something your daughter will find touching into adulthood, so I have to second the idea.

By: skylar

skylar — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 04:03:49 -0800

I did spend my 18th birthday with my parents (though they bickered like hell.) Anyway, when I was born my parents bought me a box of wine which was, supposedly, really good at the time and picked out by a wine buff. By the time I got to 18 I was told by wine merchants that it was valueless and may as well be poured down the drain. No-one would buy it from me. The sentimental value of it is minimal as I didn't buy it and wine is meaningless to me. Thinking of my 18-year-old self, a bundle of money that could be spent on education / travel / a car / a flat would have gone down better than anything else!

By: Brandon Blatcher

Brandon Blatcher — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 04:19:23 -0800

In addition:

You're jumping the gun, the kid is just two week's old. Put some money away for her 18th and 21st and later, when you have a clearer idea of her personality, you'll be able to get her something she likes.

Planting a tree or two is also a really good idea.

By: ghost of a past number

ghost of a past number — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 04:30:06 -0800

Definitely a tree if you have space for one, bonus points if it's a fruit tree.

By: Marisa Stole the Precious Thing

Marisa Stole the Precious Thing — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 04:34:00 -0800

I remember seeing a photo journal that a photographer did of his daughter, wherein he took a picture of her every year from birth until well into womanhood. Perhaps you could take a photo of her every month or so - a candid shot of her doing something enjoyable to her - and assemble them into book format, to present to her on her 18th/21st birthday. No text, just photos. This would be a visual journal of her development into adulthood - engaged in those activities that were meaningful to her at the time, some of which she left behind, some maybe that she stayed involved in, but were all nonetheless those things that made her who she is today (today being her 18th/21st birthday). She might be touched to see how well her parents paid attention to her exploration of the world and herself, and find it interesting to see that journey herself, in photo format.

By: dirtmonster

dirtmonster — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 04:58:30 -0800

My parents had saved all of the seminal books of my childhood - Watership Down, A Swiftly Tilting Planet, Island of the Blue Dolphins (you get the picture). When I graduated from college they let me know that whenever I wanted it, the box of books was mine. Given, reading was (and is) one of the most powerful activities of my life, so YMMV. . .But I love picking those books out of my shelf and rereading them now.

By: kisch mokusch

kisch mokusch — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 05:04:02 -0800

Penfolds Grange. You'll have to wait a few years for the 2008 bottle.

By: sondrialiac

sondrialiac — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 05:10:39 -0800

Hey, some people like buying something sentimental for the future. Let's answer the question instead of telling them they're wrong, okay?

I would see what I could do to donate to a local library or school, with a plaque in my child's name.

By: unrepentanthippie

unrepentanthippie — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 05:16:36 -0800

You might ask the locals if there is a park/county forest/suchlike where you could get permission to plant her tree on public land, so if you sell the house she can still always visit it.

I have a separate fund for each grandchild for their retirement, not college. (My father always regretted he was not able to do that for me. He was a firm believer in the power of compund interest, which is no longer the security arrangement it once was.)

A bottle of good but not hideously expensive champagne might be nice, but not the only thing you'd want. Ask someone who knows about such things for a suggestion for something that will age out well at about that point, (probably based on the history of similar wines, the winemaker? You will know someone who prides themselves on this sort of knowlege.) I would see it as more of a stocking stuffer.

Some moms are big on making a tiny fancy baby bonnet out of a very lacy, fancy hankie, which can made back into a hankie with the removal of a few stitches to be carried on the wedding day.

By: Solon and Thanks

Solon and Thanks — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 05:31:15 -0800

Take a lot of photos, and not just of her. Make some nice photo books if you can. As a 20-year-old some of the things I love the most are old photos of weddings, my siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, parents, you name it.

By: headnsouth

headnsouth — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 05:32:03 -0800

You might find some good ideas in this AskMe and this AskMe. I write letters to my kids on occasion, but so far I have kept them. There will come a time/milestone when it seems appropriate to hand them over, or they'll find them after I die, whichever. I have a couple of letters my father sent me at college, and I treasure them.

By: anastasiav

anastasiav — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 05:32:58 -0800

I would start a charm bracelet, and make a point to by a new charm every year on her birthday. For her 18th - 21st this will be her gift. Bonus is that as she gets older she'll be able to help construct it, but won't see the finished product until she reaches the milestone.

By: twistedonion

twistedonion — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 05:43:33 -0800

Port is old fashioned but Champagne and Red Wine... get a few bottles of 2005 (best year in recent ones afaik) Gigondas or Chateaux Neuf De Pape.

They could well turn out to be a lovely stocking filler that if not drunk could help with college fees!

Wine from the med is going to become extremely valuable in my admittedly not very informed opinion. They are good wines and I think global warming is really going to impact negatively on these regions, so a wise investment.

By: jquinby

jquinby — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 05:44:33 -0800

A suitcase.

By: orange swan

orange swan — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 05:52:50 -0800

You could buy a selection of the best and bestselling books published this year. The first editions may be quite valuable in a couple of decades.

By: orange swan

orange swan — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 05:53:45 -0800

Addendum to my idea above, get the books signed by their authors if they're on tour and coming to a bookstore near you.

By: unrepentanthippie

unrepentanthippie — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 05:55:40 -0800

Some institutions let you put the kid's name on a brick or a paving stone for a donation, and it would give her someplace to visit her stone once in a while, like a park.

I have seen charm necklaces too, which gives you more room to work with later. You can also use the bracelet as an extender for a charm necklace, which gives you 2 matching pieces or one longer one, more choices.

By: pearlybob

pearlybob — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 05:57:08 -0800

Second the charm bracelet. We are doing that for our daughter and now that she is 8, she loves looking at it and wearing it (only for very special occasions). Do that or an add a pearl necklace. Those are WONDERFUL and then she will have a strand of pearls when she is grown. Just be SURE to get grown up size pearls, 5 or 6 mm. Most add a pearls are tiny, good for children but useless to a grown woman. A nice jeweler will help you start a necklace using adult sized pearls. Either gift would be a lovely keepsake from her parents.

By: roofus

roofus — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 06:23:18 -0800

If you haven't already saved it, order the Times from the day she was born.

18 year old girls don't like port or whiskey so much, but they do usually like champagne. Make yourself a note to buy a bottle of Dom Perignon 2008 (or nearest actual vintage) when it is released around 2015. My father-in-law had a bottle of the '76 stashed from when my wife was born. He opened it with us when we announced our engagement and we were blown away.

By: roofus

roofus — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 06:26:08 -0800

My father planted cherry trees outside our house where we were living when I was born. I still live quite nearby, and they are a great reminder of my childhood when they blossom.

By: amtho

amtho — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 06:29:33 -0800

Make a concrete plan for ways to spend time together, as a couple, so that your relationship stays strong and you'll be there for her. Come up with small vacation ideas and actually list them on a piece of paper or in a small notebook. This can be as simple as a date every two weeks or whatever you think is appropriate, but PLAN IT.

Think about what it would take for you to entrust her care to someone else for a couple of days -- if that seems unthinkable, make a list of possible candidates anyway, including grandparents (keep it hidden so your friends' feelings don't get hurt), so that you'll be _thinking_ about this in the middle of all your busy-ness in the months to come. Then, when it's time, you'll have a much easier task in actually putting together something.

And then make a serious commitment to do this, if you haven't already.

By: orange swan

orange swan — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 06:47:17 -0800

This isn't so much a "birthday" idea, but buy your daughter a Christmas tree ornament every year. She'll get to enjoy them as she grows and by the time she moves out on her own she'll have enough ornaments to decorate her own tree.

By: theora55

theora55 — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 06:56:04 -0800

Charm bracelet is a nice idea. Take a photo of her with you both in the same place every year on her birthday. There's a photo series of a daughter and dad with the family car on the 1st day of school every year. It's a great record.

By: sondrialiac

sondrialiac — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 07:11:56 -0800

The Christmas ornaments are a great idea. My partner's parents did that and it was a wonderful, heartwarming gift when we finally got our own place and our own (mini) tree.

By: fluffycreature

fluffycreature — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 07:35:51 -0800

A coin set for 2008 from the US Mint - a tad geeky but will always be mint and perhaps by 18 it will mean something. I know from about age 11 on, I was fond of mine.

By: dpx.mfx

dpx.mfx — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 07:51:18 -0800

Start a tradition and for each birthday get her one nice Christmas Tree ornament (if you do Christmas trees) and one tool. By the time you send her into the real world, she'll be equiped to decorate a tree, and fix her own place!

By: davereed

davereed — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 08:24:43 -0800

Talk to friends and relatives. Ask them to write a letter to her at 18. ESPECIALLY older relatives (Great-Grandma still around?) Make a video or audio of them answering questions like: What was did you do for your 18th birthday? What was it like to grow up then. If you were just starting out, what advice would you give?

What a treasure it would be, to have family stories and advice saved for you!

By: Helga-woo

Helga-woo — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 08:35:24 -0800

Following on from fluffycreature... I would normally think this would be a bit dull, but this year, the Royal Mint have introduced new pictures on our coins. I'm currently trying to collect them as I find them, but buying a presentation set might be nice.

By: Helga-woo

Helga-woo — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 08:37:07 -0800

Ignore that Royal Mint link, these are sets of the new coins.

By: carbide

carbide — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 10:25:38 -0800

Planting a tree or writing letters sounds pretty good, because you're also not trying to predict what your daughter will be like at 18/21 - as in, there's a whole lot of people who don't care for pearls or charm bracelets, and it would be a pity to have the gift be something she'll feel guilty for not really liking.

My parents bought a bottle of good wine for the year I was born, and surprised me with it when I turned 21. Unfortunately, by then I had stopped drinking, and we were out in a restaurant where there was a slightly misjudged joke about sending it back 'cause it was corked and having a mock-argument with the waiter, while I hid in the corner dying for the whole thing to end. It's kind of hilarious now and illustrates a lot about my family, but that night, I didn't really enjoy the choice between snubbing my parents and drinking something I really didn't want to drink.

By: Slarty Bartfast

Slarty Bartfast — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 10:43:38 -0800

We're planning on doing a video interview of my grandmother while she's holding our child, something none of her 75 living descendants have thought of.

By: ClarissaWAM

ClarissaWAM — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 12:28:00 -0800

because you're also not trying to predict what your daughter will be like at 18/21 - as in, there's a whole lot of people who don't care for pearls or charm bracelets

Agreed. My mum collected silver bangles for me throughout my childhood. All sorts of different ones, whenever they went on holiday they'd find one to add to my collection. She still knows where she bought every single one of them and can tell me a story about them. I think that's really cool, and I appreciate the gesture, but... I don't wear bangles. So that's kind of sad - they're all wrapped away in a drawer at home and will never be used.

I really like the tree, coin, and "get relatives to write / say something" ideas. Also for added entertainment value you could get them to "predict the future" - both in general terms ("this is what I think the world will be like in 2026") and wrt your daughter (here it would probably be good to wait until she's a few years old so they have more of an idea what she's like).

And tree! Plant a tree! I wish I had a tree twin, that would be so cool!

By: Flying Squirrel

Flying Squirrel — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 13:37:44 -0800

They may have a rose with your daughter's name. That would be nice to plant. There is one for my name, and I love it.

By: tomble

tomble — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 19:29:12 -0800

Definitely keep newspapers, old newspapers are fascinating, and often not as much for the front page stuff as all the stuff inside. `Look at the fashions. That classic old film is a new release! Ha! No hover cars!' etc.

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 19:35:39 -0800

My mother made a hope-chest for me throughout my childhood of various things - my baby blanket, a tea set from my grandmother, bunches and bunches of stuff. She gave it to me on my 16th birthday and cried her head off. Only now do I really get WHY it was so emotional for HER.

Also, she gave me a string of *real* pearls for my 18th birthday saying that "Every grown-up woman needs pearls." I've worn them countless times, including on every job interview I've ever had, and I always think about my mama when I do.

By: Bigbrowncow

Bigbrowncow — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 23:02:21 -0800

Thank you everyone for all the suggestions. We particularly like the idea of planting a tree and doing it on public land (in case we move). We might also do a photo journal. Many of you pointed out that we need to do something our daughter will appreciate (rather than do something for our benefit) and of course you are dead right.

Having loving parents of course is the most important thing!

By: IAmBroom

IAmBroom — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 09:47:20 -0800

BTW, "Port is old-fashioned" is true today. Two decades from now, another story... (Likes old-fashioned drinks anyway.)