Where to find genuinely black dress clothing that matches - shirt, tie, belt, slacks, shoes -- a seamless whole from three feet away?

September 25, 2008 7:16 PM

Where to find genuinely black dress clothing that matches - shirt, tie, belt, slacks, shoes -- a seamless whole from three feet away? Obviously, this isn't an outfit one would have many opportunities to wear, but once or twice a year it would be entertaining to be able to dress stylishly but somberly in black. Black, not dark gray, but black. Like what you see when there is no light at all, black like blindness. Black slacks -- flat front because pleats are fussy (but reversed box are almost acceptable) -- with a shirt of black identical to the black of the slacks -- amazingly difficult to find -- black tie, black belt -- matte -- black shoes -- suede or matte leather. It's worth money to me if, by halloween, I can (at least in dim light) look like a floating head and two hands and depress undertakers.

Black, but rich, velvety, coal and suede and death in one go.

I've yet to find a single brand that comes close to what I have in mind. Do you know of any?

Low rise, no pleats, slim fit, and straight leg pants. Plain toe Oxford for the shoes. Fitted/tapered shirt. Ideally, a black so rich and dark it absorbs all visible light, a black that makes a me shaped hole in spacetime.

Bonus points if you can point me towards both black and the same in green so dark it might as well be black.

posted by Grod to clothing, beauty, & fashion (9 comments total)

Honestly for what you are looking for your best bet is to buy the fabric and go to a tailor and get the outfit made. And while you're at it, stock up on dandruff shampoo and lint brushes.
posted by hindmost at 7:44 PM on September 25, 2008

I got an all-black outfit from Walmart, of all places, for a photo job. I'm not sure it meets your exacting requirements, but it certainly is all the same blackness.

Due to cats, it's almost impossible to use this outfit, however.
posted by odinsdream at 7:54 PM on September 25, 2008

For matching blacks and light-absorbing quality, you're probably best off looking for a black velvet suit. (Bonus: suits are made to be tailored.)

However, the buttons of a shirt or suit jacket will reflect a little more light, as will any folds in the fabric like collars.
posted by desuetude at 9:21 PM on September 25, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Start with a pair of black pants/the black suit you like, and the black oxfords to match - that's the center of your outfit. Then go shopping for black shirtweight fabric to match your suit, and go to a tailor (also get the suit/pants altered to suit you). Do the accessories last.
posted by bettafish at 9:57 PM on September 25, 2008

You should go to a department store like Nordstrom's and have someone help you. You don't mention a budget, but I'm sure a designer like Hugo Boss would be able to set you up nicely. For superdark green you might have to go custom, but check with some Irish haberdashers to see if maybe anything good is available from that angle.
posted by rhizome at 11:23 PM on September 25, 2008

I think what you're looking for is a tuxedo.

Many used ones available, and you can purchase separates as needed to tweak the look to your exacting tastes. Hell, rent it if you're only going to where it once or twice a year.
posted by OilPull at 6:00 AM on September 26, 2008

I recall reading that an extreamly dark navy blue looks darker than black under some light conditions, in GQ or something.
posted by bdc34 at 7:16 AM on September 26, 2008

The best way to go is to ask your guildmaster for a fuligin cloak. Failing that, what I've done is basically to walk around a department store carrying pieces of black clothing, holding them against each other to make sure that they're not slightly-different shades of black. To make sure that you're not just being fooled by some weirdness of the store's overhead lights, you can carry around a little LED and a little incandescent flashlight, and shine them on the fabrics.
posted by Greg Nog at 9:46 AM on September 26, 2008

Not really an answer but stay away from anything cotton as it's really difficult to stop cotton from fading and everything will end up at different stages of fade. But I agree with hindmost: have someone make you the pants and shirt so they'll be off the same fabric.
posted by otherwordlyglow at 2:16 PM on September 26, 2008