ShyGuyFilter: What's my next move with an unassertive guy?
September 21, 2008 9:16 PM Subscribe
I initiated our hang-out; he enthusiastically responded. The evening started with great conversation and mutual interest-- and then the energy seemed to weirdly wane as the evening went on. To be fair, we had a grueling evening. What now?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (22 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
At the risk of posting another "Is he into me?" question, here goes:
I met a guy through mutual friends a couple weeks ago-- I was pretty smitten, and he didn't leave my side all evening, kept asking me questions, giving me cute looks. We talked for a couple of hours and there seemed to be a real connection-- we had a ton in common, and I found him instantly intellectually engaging. He facebook friended me within hours, and I (uncharacteristically) asked him out. He responded enthusiastically right away, and we made plans to go to a theater festival later in the week.
So the big night arrives, we go to dinner, and everything's going great-- he's looking foxy, the convo is easy and flirtatious. All's well. Then we go to one show, which is great, but long. Then we go to another, also long and demanding. It's getting late, and I'm starting to get tired. The convo is still good, but it feels like we're both getting worn out. We go to a few more shows, and he finally brings me home around 2. We're both exhausted at this point, and we chat awkwardly in the car for a few minutes before I say, "Okay, well, have a great day tomorrow" and bolt.
A few additional facts:
- He told me a few times throughout the evening that he's extremely shy and unassertive, made reference to being a big nerd back in the day.
- We accidentally touched arms a few times, but he didn't let it linger.
- I ran into him several days later and he was friendly and seemed a little nervous. I didn't say anything about hanging out again because I just can't get a read on him. We had a friendly casual chat, and I left being more confused than before.
Question: Did I screw things up by having such a long, grueling first date, a multi-hour event that might exhaust any two people who don't know each other well? Should I hang back now and wait to see if he initiates something? Is he interested and deadly shy, or simply uninterested, and I'm in denial?
I usually just scratch someone off if they're not enthusiastically initiating plans, but maybe he's just really shy? Help!