I had written out this question yesterday but since then it has gone through a bit of a transformation: I would now like to hear from men who are feeling "dis-empowered", "dis-enfranchised" or "emasculated", and would like to know what it is that they have done to resolve their issues, or are in the process of doing, or wish they could do someday?
I ask this question because as a sex I think we have been asked to go through so many changes in the past few years (and I don't say this with any disrespect meant towards what women as a race have had to endure through the ages), but for the sake of argument I'd like to focus on the men on this topic...
I would like to know how you guys out there feel... ? Do you know what it means to be a man? If so, how do you describe manhood??? Is it living for your family and providing for their livelihood? Is it picking up the garbage for a living because that's the job you could get since you dropped out of school? Have you ever stood up for what's right and fought someone who you knew to be in the wrong... ? Is it wrong to fight someone who you know to be in the wrong? When do you let your civilized self go and let the barbarian underneath out because you know that there might not be any other alternative... ? Have you ever had jerks looking at your girl-friend/wife/sister and pretended like you didn't notice, or at best--"pretended" like you could've done something, when you knew you probably couldn't have, because that's the way you felt--like an utter whimp... . What did you do in those situations... how did it feel? How did you cope???
I ask because I'm sick and tired of feeling this way. I'm not a whimp. I don't want to be a whimp. I'm sick and tired of looking at things in a logical way and not letting myself even wonder about how it could be if I had the guts to do something which I've always wanted to do... to not let my legs tremble like jelly when confronted with a guy who may be stronger than me, or taller than me, or meaner than me. What am I... ? Do I really care if I get a broken nose or a couple of scars on my face... isn't my manhood more precious to me than a couple of stitches and a few broken bones???
I know this doesn't make much sense, but I've met some people who've scared the living daylights out of me... or had until a couple of hours ago, and I've made up my mind to face them once-and-for-all, even though it might be too late, since I took
someone with me to face them yesterday, instead of going alone. But now I know the truth... the truth about the lies that they'd told me all along--the girl was never a scam artist. The guys who they'd been bad-mouthing behind their backs weren't the real ones to be concerned about--it was them all along, and they'd played me for a fool the entire time...
I don't know whether it's the fact that I'm off of dope that's giving me this high right now, or if it's the fact that I haven't taken my medication yet, but I want to hold onto this feeling. I want to relish it and see where it takes me. I want to know once and for all what it feels like to be a man.
posted by hadjiboy at 10:16 AM on September 20, 2008