Comments on: Everyone loses...except the audience

Question: Everyone loses...except the audience

Christ, what an asshole — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 12:02:23 -0800

I'm one of those people who takes "teh internetz" seriously, and nothing turns me on quite like a verbal smackdown for the ages. What are some of the most memorable instances of rhetorical tai chi you've come across that can send my libido into overdrive?

By: Christ, what an asshole

Christ, what an asshole — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 12:19:02 -0800

I should mention this questioned was spurred from this little nugget.

By: Challahtronix

Challahtronix — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 12:22:44 -0800

CWAA, I think you meant this clip, unless that was rhetorical tai chi that swept the weatherman's legs out from under him.

By: skallagrim

skallagrim — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 12:27:31 -0800

This may not be exactly what you're looking for, but...

This is a link to the preserved text of a legendary thread on a server forum regarding a trade scam on Everquest years ago. I don't know anyone involved, I did not even play on that server, but I stumbled across it years ago. I found the whole thing hysterical and still remember how funny it was years later.

It may not make sense to you if you're not familiar with MMORPGs, but I'm guessing you probably are. Also there is a swear word in LARGE TEXT immediately visible when you click the link, so I guess it's NSFW.

By: Christ, what an asshole

Christ, what an asshole — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 12:34:16 -0800

CWAA, I think you meant this clip, unless that was rhetorical tai chi that swept the weatherman's legs out from under him.

No, I'm talking about the comments in my link.

By: Maxwell_Smart

Maxwell_Smart — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 12:35:23 -0800

Chris Matthews v. Kevin James

John Stewart v. Tucker Carlson (this one cost Tucker his job)

By: mattholomew

mattholomew — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 12:51:43 -0800

There's the article that gave birth to the term 'Fisking'

And Pat Metheny's smackdown of Kenny G.

By: Guy_Inamonkeysuit

Guy_Inamonkeysuit — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 13:04:16 -0800

I had read that Metheny piece before. Simply brilliant, and of course so very true.

By: mattholomew

mattholomew — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 13:14:39 -0800

Some more thoughts - Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens are both virtuosos at this sort of thing, although they do it so much and so often that I can't recall a single instance -- just plugging those names into Youtube should come up with plenty of examples.

By: LionIndex

LionIndex — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 13:17:27 -0800

Hey Crackhead

By: Zambrano

Zambrano — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 13:28:28 -0800

That weatherman clip is staged.

By: EmpressCallipygos

EmpressCallipygos — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 13:49:17 -0800

...I'm a little confused, so a question for the OP -- you said you're looking for text, but you posted a clip as your example, and that's what responses are coming in. Are you looking for video or written word?

By: Christ, what an asshole

Christ, what an asshole — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 14:00:35 -0800

Both work. I think I misdirected people because I failed to point out that the ownage happened in the comments of the first link.

By: carsonb

carsonb — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 14:26:10 -0800

Can you point out exactly where in the thread the ownage occurs? It all looks fake to me.

By: turgid dahlia

turgid dahlia — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 15:08:24 -0800

Jamie Whyte is one of my favourite people ever and is quite adept at smacking shit down (check his Times pieces).

By: Student of Man

Student of Man — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 15:31:57 -0800

How about a mefi beatdown? Languagehat was handily reproached for letting slip a loose one in this thread. And so commenced a popularity contest where the favorites piled on. (nothing against lh).

By: media_itoku

media_itoku — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 15:34:48 -0800

Obscure policy filter: David Lange, Prime Minister of New Zealand, argues that nuclear weapons are morally indefensible in a debate at the Oxford Union in 1985, against Jerry Falwell.

By: turgid dahlia

turgid dahlia — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 15:51:56 -0800

It's a beautiful piece of work, isn't it, media_itoku? If only politicians this day had such wisdom, such intellect, such wit and such class.

By: Fiasco da Gama

Fiasco da Gama — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 17:00:08 -0800

John Dolan reviews James Frey.

By: Neiltupper

Neiltupper — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 17:44:19 -0800

And the classic Gore Vidal takedown of William F Buckley at the 1968 Democratic Convention.

By: citron

citron — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 18:22:01 -0800

David Letterman mocks Mitt Romney

and for something completely different

Nas vs Jay-Z

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 18:22:12 -0800

I can never get enough of loquacious smacking down the nauseating adolescent, "risk".

The entire thread is a great read, btw.

By: stuart_s

stuart_s — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 21:40:06 -0800

Mother Teresa
Richard Nixon
farmers

The Mother Teresa piece is the weakest but I included it because he's attacking the paragon of saintliness herself. The farmers article is interesting and well writen and so is the Nixon piece if I'm remembering it correctly. Along the lines of the Nixon piece, I'm sure a google search for obituaries of Strom Thurmond will be fertile soil.

I've read some good essays on Richard Dawkins' website. He's far more civil than Hitchens tends to be. His reasoning is frequently illuminating and his writing is always clear and eloquent. His website's a little busy but I think some time surfing through it would be well rewarded. I think he also links to videos of many of his TV appearances which should also provide a little of what you're looking for. I think I got the feeling your looking for while reading at least one or two of these essays. Here's one of the articles I was thinking of - not on his site though. Here's another. There are many others. Videos too, though I've paid less attention to them. He debates Rabbi Shmuely Boteach and appears on O'Reilly, for instance.

Somewhat in the same vein are the responses to creationist and intelligent design arguments. I think a blog called The Loom might be a good place to start. Another might be a blog called The Panda's Thumb. No matter how silly or seemingly sophisticated the creationist argument is, the response is always detailed and logical. Actually, the Thumb can be a little shrill sometimes. No specific examples here. You might have to wade through a not insignificant volume of non-smackdown biology to find what you're looking for but it's definitely there. I definitely remember the feeling you're looking for on some of these sites.

Unless, I'm misinterpreting your question. Like some other posters I'm not entirely sure I understand what you're asking for.

By: waxboy

waxboy — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 22:34:51 -0800

SHUT UP I HACK YOU

By: palmcorder_yajna

palmcorder_yajna — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 00:53:10 -0800

Rushdie and Hitchens vs. LeCarre.

I love that I can always find this exchange by googling the phrase "brimming chapeau."

By: gentilknight

gentilknight — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 03:52:56 -0800

Ah, the season is bringing out these political examples, but I think I know what you want, based on an actual reading the thread mentioned. Is that last comment yours?

Recently, over several threads in the PencilJack forum, someone is accused of Photoshopping material rather than drawing. Defending himself, he states that he is using reference material, as he is not a penciller or draftsman, but an inker.

I think this will give you the flavor of the guy's defensiveness, but Knigge's verbal tai chi chuan on the next page effectively ends the thread. If you are not into comic arts, the first page of the thread may give you an idea of the kinds of things pencillers value and is funny to boot.

By: ashirys

ashirys — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 07:00:59 -0800

I'm not quite sure if this is what you're asking for, but I found the so-called Lenski affair to be a pretty satisying example of stingingly polite textual smackdown.

By: palmcorder_yajna

palmcorder_yajna — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 09:09:33 -0800

This -may- not be exactly what you're looking for, but in terms of someone turning a forum absolutely upside-down, it doesn't get much better than the Darth Runner threads on Cool Running.com, which I bring to you courtesy of The Wayback Machine:

Prelude to the First Run

The First Run Deconstructed

And the one I love best:

The Extreme Runner's Tactical Belt

By: Four Flavors

Four Flavors — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 16:35:37 -0800

failblog has a 'burn of the week' that may be what you're looking for.

There have been some really great ones on forums.somethingawful.com, but I'm not able to find links to them, as I don't have archives access.

By: pushing paper and bottoming chairs

pushing paper and bottoming chairs — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 19:21:24 -0800

Rec.food.cooking had a threat that started off with a reasonable question on cooking venison, then really got into a pretty wild and hilarious free-for-all.

By: pushing paper and bottoming chairs

pushing paper and bottoming chairs — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 19:25:08 -0800

D'oh..that needs to read "thread" not "threat"!

By: lukemeister

lukemeister — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 20:03:23 -0800

Previous MeFi threads:
Music is dead, and here is the corpse, embalmed on two slices of plastic hell
So...you're saying it's shite?
Just Not Friends, Perhaps
Name me a herd animal that hunts
Now that's a pan!

By: Fiasco da Gama

Fiasco da Gama — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 06:03:39 -0800

If you've got time and a strong stomach, crack a cold can and sit yourself down with the archives of Your Webcomic Is Bad And You Should Feel Bad. Unless you run a webcomic, in which case I really don't recommend it.