Vasectomy mixtape!

August 25, 2008 6:57 PM

Vasectomy mixtape!

My best friend is about to get his vasectomy. I want to make him a mixtape as a gesture of congratulations, as he and his equally childfree wife are currently in a state of unbridled excitement about finally getting it done. Any clever ideas for songs (especially in the genre of punk)? For example, he often jokes about the Adolescents song "I Hate Children", so I'll probably use that one, among others.

(By the way, I'm posting anonymously because his vasectomy is on the DL and I don't want to let the secret slip to those who might recognize my username and connect us.)

posted by anonymous to media & arts (32 comments total)

Anthing by The Breeders, just for the band name.
posted by zippy at 7:04 PM on August 25, 2008

Circle Jerks - "Operation"

I went to see a rabbi
but despite his advise
I want an operation
I will not father life
operation, operation
snip & tie, snip & tie
they send me to a preacher
a really toughtful guy
he said my idea's crazy
I shouldn't even try
this operation, operation
snip & tie, snip & tie
but i've just seen a surgeon
and with a knife he cut
I cannot bring you children
this world is such a rut
operation, operation
snip & tie, snip & tie
I had an operation
a statement of our times
they tied my balls together
what's insides not alive
posted by naju at 7:06 PM on August 25, 2008

"Bang bang, you shot me down, bang bang, and I hit the ground, bang bang, that awful sound, bang bang, my baby shot me down." (Cher, "Bang Bang")
posted by WCityMike at 7:10 PM on August 25, 2008

You breed...LIKE RATS.
posted by The Straightener at 7:16 PM on August 25, 2008

King Missle - Detachable Penis comes to mind.
posted by SirStan at 7:17 PM on August 25, 2008 [2 favorites has favorites]

Because I have morbid sense of humor:
Angry Inch from Hedwig and the Angry Inch
Cuts You Up - Peter Murphy
Chop Chop from The Wicker Man Soundtrack (the original 1973 version)


Maybe:
Inner Peace - Nelly McKay
It's All Over Now, Baby Blue - Bob Dylan
posted by kimdog at 7:24 PM on August 25, 2008

Turbonegro - I Got Erection

Ich bin geil!

ARGHHHHH

Everytime I walk down the street - Erection
When I see a woman that I'd like to beat - Erection
When I think of blood I think of love - Erection
When I think of blood I think of love - Erection

Oh, I got Erection
Oh, I got Erection
Oh, I got Erection
Oh, I got Erection

When I set a house on fire - Erection
Once a liver, now she's a dier - Erection
When I dig a hole in the ground - Erection
When I hear that death punk sound- Erection

Oh, I got Erection
Oh, I got Erection
Oh, I got Erection
Oh, I got Erection

posted by chrisbucks at 7:31 PM on August 25, 2008

AC/DC "Big Balls"
posted by lee at 7:36 PM on August 25, 2008

The First Cut is the Deepest - Rod Stewart
Snip Snip Snip - Chumbawumba
posted by nkknkk at 7:42 PM on August 25, 2008

Cuts like a knife?
posted by umbú at 7:42 PM on August 25, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Jerry Lee Lewis - Great Balls of Fire
The Breeders - Cannonball (bonus points for marqius de sade reference)
posted by phrontist at 7:44 PM on August 25, 2008

The First Cut is the Deepest - Rod Stewart Cat Stevens
posted by Neiltupper at 7:45 PM on August 25, 2008

Vasectomy by Johny Socko, off of Bovaquarium. You can snag it off iTunes.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 7:53 PM on August 25, 2008

At least one thing by The Tubes should be on your list. "Don't Touch Me There" might be good.
posted by An Infinity Of Monkeys at 7:55 PM on August 25, 2008

"The Seed 2.0" by The Roots.
posted by sourwookie at 8:01 PM on August 25, 2008

No Children - The Mountain Goats?

The lyrics aren't relevant, but the name might be worth it.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 8:03 PM on August 25, 2008

Cautiously, I say Dan Bern's Tiger Woods
posted by zachxman at 8:06 PM on August 25, 2008

The lyrics are pretty irrelevant, but "My Dick Sux" by Giant Drag.
posted by turgid dahlia at 8:09 PM on August 25, 2008

PP Arnold - The First Cut is the Deepest

If you've got a morbid sense of humor (and it sounds like you do), you could go with The Velvet Underground's Lady Godiva's Operation. I'm sure a story of a botched sex-change/lobotomy will steel his nerves.

Also:
Brian Eno - Blank Frank (riffing on "shooting blanks")
Iron and Wine - Free Until They Cut Me Down
The Jesus and Mary Chain - Sowing Seeds
Richard Hell and the Voidoids - Love Comes in Spurts
The Cult - Love Removal Machine
posted by hydrophonic at 8:26 PM on August 25, 2008

I saw a blog post about this very same subject a few months back...

In fact the post I speak of provided a *22* song vasectomy playlist!

1. A Plea For Tenderness - Jonathan Richman + The Modern Lovers
2. Barber Shop - Tom Waits
3. There’s A Love Knot In My Lariat - Montana Slim (Wilf Carter)
4. Monster (In My Pants) - B-52s
5. Big Balls - AC/DC
6. Love Whip - Reverend Horton Heat
7. Broken Arrow - Buffalo Springfield
8. Multiplication - Bobby Darin
9. I Gotcha - Joe Tex
10. Bring On The Pain - Radiskull + Devil Doll (Joe Sparks)
11. The First Cut Is The Deepest - Cat Stevens
12. Bye Bye Baby - Big Brother + The Holding Company
13. Nutbush City Limits - Ike + Tina
14. Hot Pants - James Brown
15. Funky Worm - The Ohio Players
16. Pistol Packin’ Papa - Montana Slim
17. Don’t Touch Me There - The Tubes
18. Knock On Wood - Otis Redding
19. Hard Ain’t It Hard - Woodie Guthrie
20. Tiptoe Through The Tulips - Tiny Tim
21. Mama Told Me Not To Come - Three Dog Night
22. Gimmie That Nutt - Eazy E
posted by sanitycheck at 8:43 PM on August 25, 2008

Liz Phair, "H.W.C." Go look it up.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 8:45 PM on August 25, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

XTC - Scissor Man
posted by kimota at 8:57 PM on August 25, 2008

I guess songs in Spanish wouldn't work, right? Because "Basta de nacimientos" by Madrid hardcore band Def Con Dos would fit like a charm. Just suggesting this one on the off-chance that your friend speaks Spanish.
posted by doctorpiorno at 8:58 PM on August 25, 2008

Every Sperm is Sacred – Monty Python
My Extra Ball – Matamala
Carry Your Load – Carole King
Love, Come Lighten My Load – Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers
Fix Me – Black Flag
Fix Yourself Up – Dee Dee Ramone
A Man Shaves His Balls (spoken word) – Patton Oswald
Do You Really Want to Hurt Me? – Culture Club
Snip Snip – Tiger Lillies
Love Hurts – Everly Brothers
Muddy Water’s Gonna Run Clear – Eddie Clearwater
Tube Snake Boogie – ZZ Top
Everybody Hurts – R.E.M.
I Want You to Hurt Like I Do – Randy Newman
posted by prinado at 9:08 PM on August 25, 2008

Sorry for the length, the bolded ones are my top choices.

Bad Religion:
- The Quickening [We have the obvious reference to pregnancy, plus bonus reference to Highlander, wherein the quickening is the event that happens when an immortal is beheaded!]
- Only Entertainment
- Struck a Nerve
- 1000 More Fools [It's actually a song about overpopulation! Sorta]
- Give You Nothing
[there's more by them. Plus, you asked for punk]

Barenaked Ladies:
- One Little Slip

Bob Dylan
- Just Like a Woman

Cloud Cult
- Most of the album "Who Killed Puck", but note that IIRC, it was written in response to the singer's young son dying, so it might be in bad taste

Da Vinci's Notebook
- Enormous Penis [not QUITE about vasectomies, but hey]

Dead Kennedys
- I Kill Children. Done and done.

Dropkick Murphys
- Bill's Bones. [If his name is Bill. Really now.]

DVDA
- Now You're A Man!

Eels
- Abortion in the Sky

Electric Six
- Rip it! [sweet baby james]
- Future Boys
- Slices of You

Great Big Sea
- Consequence Free

k-os
- [I'm not the] Man I Used to Be

Nine Inch Nails
- Mr. Self Destruct
- The Art of Self Destruction
- The Beauty of Being Numb
- Even Deeper
- Somewhat Damaged
- Something I can Never Have [probably the best if you must choose only one of NIN's)
- Demon Seed

Porcupine Tree
- Sever Tomorrow
- Stop Swimming

Primus
- The Final Voyage of the Liquid Sky [I just like the metaphor of "liquid sky"]
- Too Many Puppies
- Here Come the Bastards [maybe hold on to this one just in case vasectomy doesn't take/she gets pregnant?]

Queens of the Stone Age
- Suture Up Your Future

Radiohead
- No Surprises

They Might Be Giants
- How Can I Sing Like A Girl?
- They'll Need A Crane [pair with "Enormous Penis" for best effect]
- Rabid Child

White Stripes
- Ball & Biscuit
- Blue Orchid [what with Polyorchidism and all

And I'm surprised nobody had mentioned Juicy Karkass - Punch 'Em In The Dick
posted by Lemurrhea at 9:21 PM on August 25, 2008

Kid Creole & the Coconuts - Annie, I'm Not Your Daddy
Michael Jackson - Billie Jean
posted by hydrophonic at 9:51 PM on August 25, 2008

Slave to My Dick - The Subhumans
subhumans.ca/lyrics/slave-to-my-dick
posted by parkerama at 10:41 PM on August 25, 2008

The Vasectomy Song
posted by Herschel at 11:21 PM on August 25, 2008

Oops... The Vasectonmy Song
posted by Herschel at 11:26 PM on August 25, 2008

Too Much Too Young by The Specials has a nice anti-child message.
posted by mynameisluka at 11:32 PM on August 25, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Like KirkJobSluder, I came in to recommend "This is Your Vasectomy" by Johnny Socko.
posted by salvia at 12:16 AM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Bobby Brown Goes Down - Frank Zappa

Not exactly a vasectomy song per se
posted by Reverend John at 10:24 AM on August 26, 2008