Comments on: How do I change jobs without letting my bosses know?

Question: How do I change jobs without letting my bosses know?

Anonymous — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 18:10:35 -0800

I work for Small Company A. I want to work for Small Company B. But Small Company A has close dealings with Small Company B, and I worry that Small Company A will find out if I apply to Small Company B. And there will be repercussions if my current bosses at Small Company A find out, because they are extremely petty. So what should I be doing?

I originally went to work for Small Company A to form and develop skills in a potential career path. Since working with them, I've developed a love for this career and would like to pursue it further. However, it's become clear that there is no further opportunity for this at this company.

There is opportunity at Small Company B, however, and it looks like a great job for a number of other reasons. I want to apply there, and preliminary scouting has indicated they may want to hire me (especially once they learned I worked at Small Company A).

But Small Company B does a lot of business with Small Company A and if I apply there it is quite likely my bosses will find out, when Small Company B checks my references if nothing else. My bosses at Small Company A tend to be petty, controlling, and when their employees try to quit or cut hours they take it extremely personally and respond by making life miserable for the employee. The longer the employee has worked there and the more highly trained the employee is, the worse the reaction. And I am currently one of their oldest, highest-trained employees, so it's going to be bad.

If I try to switch jobs and they find out, there's a 99% chance they will badmouth me to Small Company B in order to make sure I don't get hired. Then they are going to make life miserable for me at Small Company A. This has happened before to other employees, and there is no indication I'd be any different.

So what do I do? I feel like telling Small Company B not to tell Small Company A about my application would immediately put my application in jeopardy--even moreso if I told Small Company B why as it may seem I've something to hide. If I say nothing and submit it, Small Company A will almost certainly find out anyway. Is there a good way out of this? There are no HR departments involved--the owners of both companies do all the hiring.

By: miasma

miasma — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 18:18:17 -0800

Why would you even want to continue working for Small Company A at all if they're willing to destroy anyone that tries to leave it?

I think in this day and age it is perfectly reasonable to contact Small Company B that you're currently working at Small Company A and you'd rather they be discreet about your application. Many people who work in small professional communities have this issue, and if Small Company B is professional, they'll abide by it.

By: JohnnyGunn

JohnnyGunn — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 18:19:47 -0800

This is a money laundering type issue. You need to find a very brief interim step between A and B. THat way you can tell A yu are going one place and end up in another shortly thereafter.

I think if you told the boss of B the truth, he might actually understand. If your skill set is something they need and they cannot find it or as good as it elsewhere, B should work with you to keep it secret. I doubt they would call A for a reference as much as they would call to confirm dates of employment. If A does badmouth you, the response by B should be, "Then why do you employ her now if she is so terrible?"

By: anildash

anildash — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 20:01:38 -0800

Level with the owner of Company B. If they work together as frequently as you describe, the owner will likely know the Company A owner is a destructive control freak. And yep, it's standard operating procedure to be discreet about speaking to a candidate who is still employed by another company.

By: krisjohn

krisjohn — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 20:07:05 -0800

Apply for the job. Request that it be handled privately and confidentially. Request a right of reply to any statements by staff from Company A. If you don't get the job at Company B, keep looking for work and leave Company A at the first opportunity.

Get out.

By: rhapsodie

rhapsodie — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 20:15:22 -0800

Let Company B know that Company A doesn't know you're looking for other opportunities, and ask them to not contact your direct supervisor without giving you time to warn them. This is common practice. And don't let the dicks at Company A scare you into staying.

By: dhartung

dhartung — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 20:20:35 -0800

You can't do the Switch! Nobody can do the Switch! sorry

It is more common than you think to discreetly pursue employment with clients or vendors. They should be understanding, especially if they have any experience with Company A (you can't hide that sort of passive-aggressive management). But whatever you do, you need to get out of Company A.

By: mkultra

mkultra — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 20:37:15 -0800

I feel like telling Small Company B not to tell Small Company A about my application would immediately put my application in jeopardy

People do this all the time. Discretion is the way grown-ups behave in the business world. It seems strange to you, frankly, because you work with children, and not just because you're one of the eldest there.

If I try to switch jobs and they find out, there's a 99% chance they will badmouth me to Small Company B in order to make sure I don't get hired.

Not sure where you are, but in the U.S. this kind of behavior is an open invitation to a lawsuit. Aside from the specifics of your opportunity with Company B, Company A sounds like somewhere you really don't want to work. It sounds like you know that at heart, but are just second-guessing yourself now that the time to act is at hand.

Your gut is correct. Get the job you deserve. Fuck Company A.

By: storybored

storybored — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 20:38:00 -0800

Company B may not need to get a reference from Company A if you can provide some good solid evidence that you're a good employee (e.g. through a portfolio of work that you've done or testimonials and references from elsewhere).

By: dws

dws — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 21:13:09 -0800

Until you've identified Small Company C and Small Company D, you have more of a conundrum than you have a choice.

Get yourself more options.

By: mattoxic

mattoxic — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 21:54:40 -0800

By: rokusan

rokusan — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 22:23:30 -0800

DWS has the best advice here, I think. There are more fish.

By: chrisinseoul

chrisinseoul — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 22:34:48 -0800

Surely there's more companies out there than Small Company A and B. Agree with DWS - find Small Companies C, D, and possibly even E.

With that, pursue the job on a confidential basis with B, while recognizing that your skills may be worth more with C, D, or E.

By: IndigoSkye

IndigoSkye — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 08:22:38 -0800

Do you have any former supervisors who no longer work for Company A that would be willing to provide a reference to Company B? That has worked for me in the past.