April 25
Montreal for a long weekend
We (2 NYers in late 30s) are planning on driving up to Montreal for a long weekend the second weekend in May. What should we do/see/eat and more specific questions [more inside]
Experiences building a family without your primary partner?
Do you have experiences that you would care to share of creating a family where your romantic partner (or at least your primary partner) was not a co-parent, or at least not a major one? My partner and I disagree on the kids question, but we're curious about other models than the nuclear families we grew up in. Lots of details beyond the jump. [more inside]
April 24
Baggage “baggage” - shipping excess from CA to NZ?
Hello - seeking recommendations please for sending a box/package (likely to be the size of a medium suitcase) from California to New Zealand. It won’t be possible to send it via an airline as excess baggage. Weight could be up to around 50 lbs/23 kg (of books, clothing, misc small household objects). Cost-effectiveness and reliability more important than speed of delivery.
Need a word for my pain
I’m experiencing a new type of pain and at a loss of how to describe to my docs. I’m hoping someone has experienced something similar and knows a relevant medical term so I can communicate effectively with my doc. [more inside]
Where do I go with these toenails?
My toenails have been problematic for a few years. It started with just one of them turning white and becoming thicker. This then happened to first all toes on my right foot, and more recently the left. Right now, two nails on my left foot look healthy. The other three are thicker than they should be, soft and dull instead of shiny, and there's a small blue stripe under the big toenail. On my right foot, two nails are thickened and slightly discolored (beige). The big toenail appears loose. It's firmly attached at the base, but not so much at the top. [more inside]
Give me examples of problematic advertising images
As part of a discussion/awareness raising group, I'm going to be facilitating an exercise examining problematic advertising (from an equality or social justice perspective) . Think sexism, racist imagery, reinforcing gender norms, etc. I'm looking for more recent examples, from anywhere in the world. They need to be able to be printed and handed out (so no video). Overt or subtle welcome. If you'd rather not post it here, feel free to memail me.
Examples below the fold [more inside]
Songs with a very specific three-vignette structure
I am looking for examples of songs that follow a very specific structure: the lyrics are made up of three separate but thematically related vignettes, with the refrain explicitly articulating the conceptual message that the vignettes illustrate. [more inside]
What is Findlay toast?
I saw it in a book, presented without explanation. The context is a British mom making lower-sugar breakfasts, and the example of a good one is "Findlay toast and porridge." I know what porridge is but can't imagine what a Findlay toast is, nor can I find a recipe.
Android app for listening to podcasts, similar to Google Podcasts?
At the beginning of April, Google killed its Podcast app and moved us all over to YouTube Music. I hate it. Please recommend alternatives. [more inside]
How important is it that I see a doctor for strep?
My kid was diagnosed with strep two days ago via throat culture and is on meds. Is it important that I get swabbed too? [more inside]
What should I do after opening an attachment in a scam email
I opened an attachment in a scam email but only previewed it (I didn't download the file) and I didn't click any other links. Do I need to do anything like run a search for malware, etc.? I've heard that's only for if you download the file, give away information, or click a link. but wanted to make sure.
Tips & Recommendation for an Aspiring Leather Crafter?
I have recently developed an interest in getting into leather crafting. I don't think I'll ever want to become an actual cobbler, but I would like to make some smaller, simpler things, such as leather cuffs, notebook folders, belts, tote bags. What tips and recommendations do you have for an aspiring leather crafter? What books should I read, what websites should I visit, what online and Toronto-area suppliers should I check out, and what supplies and tools will I want to acquire first?
How to *think*
If I really want to think about stuff, my modus is, I go to a bar that is 5 minutes away, there usually is a seat at the counter, I sit there, stare at the bottles, drink a beer or three and ponder whatever is troubling me at the moment. There is music, it's lively, and I just let my mind do its thing. I can not do this at home, if I just sit down on the kitchen table, or on the couch I just can't get in the mindset and I feel kind of stupid, you know, just sitting there and staring in the void. I can do it when I am lying down before sleep, but if it's 20:00 this also feels strange. Listening to music does not make it better. I think it is the stimulus rich environment that is conductive to the process. I can think of other venues to do this but they are not dependably available, or near, when the need arises (usually after kid and wife are in bed or otherwise occupied). I guess most people do some mindless task or art or something, but I find I get easily absorbed in such activities . I don't know if walking around would work. So where and how do you *think*?
ThinkPad T470 suddenly shutting down at random
I got my current ThinkPad laptop around 2020 and have never had any issues with it. Yesterday it started just randomly shutting down with no warning. I ran Lenovo Vantage and double-checked to make sure everything (BIOS, drivers, Windows updates) are all up to date. I ran scans with Lenovo Vantage that found nothing off. Starting yesterday the laptop tray will show the battery immediately displaying 100% charged to 0% charged and will flicker back and forth between 0% and 100%. Just ran Lenovo Vantage battery diagnostics which are currently showing "the primary battery is not detected." [more inside]
What factors go into admission for a visiting year?
You are in admissions, or know people in admissions at a graduate or especially law school. What factors, including internal, have caused you or others to admit or deny an applicant for a visiting/transient year? [more inside]
Why am I suddenly hungry in the mornings?
YANMD, etc. I don't typically feel any hunger in the mornings, and I haven't eaten breakfast regularly since I was in high school (I'm now in my 50s). My usual routine is two cups of coffee with non-dairy creamer and sugar substitute. But all of a sudden, during the last month or so, I feel hungry almost as soon as I wake up. What gives? [more inside]
Dermatology Filter - Are these spots concerning?
YANMD - should I be concerned with these spots (whitish, flaky) on my wrists and lower legs? I have a history of eczema.
Good brand of buddy straps for fingers?
I have to buddy wrap two of my fingers during athletic activities for the next several months. The random brands of buddy straps I’ve bought all stretch out quickly: the velcro-ish bit remains sticky but the loop around my finger becomes too large and annoying. Any recommendations for specific brands, available in the US, that don’t stretch so quickly?
How can I move all of my appointments to a co-worker's Outlook calendar?
I am leaving my job as a secretary to the Chair of an academic department. I have sent out calendar invites that go into the future and am hoping there's an easy way to transfer all of those onto my successor's calendar either in one fell swoop or one by one if needed without having to recreate them - with the end result that those invites come from her calendar and she receives the notice if somebody cancels/declines/etc. Is there a way to do this? My googlefu is failing me.
Quebec adventures! That are slow and peaceful!
Going to Quebec City in May with my elderly parents. What are some nice, easy going activities we can do? [more inside]
Californian insider info - When is Hwy1 likely to fully reopen?
We're planning a very exciting family trip from the UK to the US Pacific Coast in July-August this year. On the agenda is to drive down the PCH/Highway 1 from SF to LA stopping off in Big Sur and San Luis Obispo. But Hwy 1 is currently closed - is it safe to book accommodation now on the presumption it will reopen by August 2024? [more inside]
Android messages website keeps insta-crashing Chrome
Why does the Android messages website keep crashing Chrome? [more inside]
Replacing a Google Sites URL w/one I bought from Network Solutions?
I am rebranding my business. I created emails and bought URLs to match. Then, I built a website on Google Sites. I thought it would be easy peasy to replace the indecipherable Google URLs for my own, and then the sites would be available for the world to see. But I am having heck of a time. [more inside]
This but as a desktop
Just like this question on laptops, my MacBook died recently and I am wide open to new choices. I don’t need a laptop though and actually want a box I can put somewhere on a shelf to use as a home server for media and various messing around, no serious gaming or high end use. Ten years ago, I’d have got a Mac mini - what are my options now?
Lost in Color Space? Help me re-find an explanation of color.
A while ago, and I think this was on metafilter, someone linked an invective filled and thorough explanation of how color and perception worked especially with regard to computer displays and graphics, including all the different color models and spaces that had been invented over the years. It was very informative and now I can't for the life of me find it. [more inside]
April 23
Have you successfully banished ants from your clothesline?
The tiny ants using my clothesline as a highway (for what? there's nothing out there) are super resistant to banishment. [more inside]
Trying to find a French woman artist's name
I saw a post from a Facebook group about women artists, and I loved the images. I looked up the artist's name, learned a few things about her, but now I can't remember her name at all. [more inside]
Laptop for a person with wide open requirements
In other words, please tell me what I want... I need a new laptop computer because my old one can't be updated anymore and that affects access to bank accounts. My old criteria for choosing a laptop don't apply anymore. Maybe I can get something more interesting? [more inside]
What's going on with this car?
Device on rear window. Device on hood. Grocery list on side
Imgur link
Recipes with high return on investment
I'm looking for dishes where the taste, appearance or "wow factor" is much more than the effort, time or money put into the dish. For the purposes of this question, there are no other restrictions.
ISO books with explicitly Jungian characters or plots
I'm looking for books, fiction or non-fiction, which feature Jungian analysts or analysands as central characters, and/or explicitly rely on Jung's theories for all or part of the plot. [more inside]
Vegetable stock: My Secret Lover
So I made this vegetable broth that pops up every few years when someone discovers it. After learning what fennel bulbs looked like, it was pretty straightforward. Although it didn't change my life, I'm wondering what your favorite homemade, fresh vegetable broth recipes you enjoy? [more inside]
Ideas for using really good ricotta
I find myself with 24 oz. of really good ricotta and I'd like to make a few dishes to highlight it. Typically I'd use ricotta in something that drowns it in tomato sauce, and that's not what I'm going for here. I have a robust pantry, a Meyer lemon tree in the back yard that's still producing, access to Spring produce at the farmers' market, and many grocery stores nearby. Open to savory and/or sweet. Assume no dietary restrictions. What should I make?
Hair thicker and fuller after menopause: how?
This is mostly idle curiosity but, I know a woman who had thin, fine hair her entire life. During menopause and for a bit after, it was pretty standard menopause hair -- thinning even further, scalp visible, etc. Now, 10 years out, all of a sudden she has insanely thick, fast-growing hair. Like an absolute ton of it. What could cause this? [more inside]
My mother's neighbor has stopped feeding the stray cat
I'm looking for some advice on what to do in this sad situation. [more inside]
Boeing 787 (and Boeing in general) - how can I evaluate the risk?
I want to visit family in the US, but the most reasonable way to get there in terms of time and money is flying across the Atlantic in a Boeing 787. How do I evaluate the risk? [more inside]
Delayed insurance settlement $, how long do they have to pay?
I listed my car on the Getaround car sharing platform, and someone totaled it. Getaround sent it to their claims adjuster and they determined the amount they will reimburse me. This is fine, but it's been 6 weeks with no $. Getaround has not given me an ETA for payment. They are headquartered in San Francisco, California. How do I determine how much time they have, legally speaking, to pay me? [more inside]
Recommendations for Vacation to San Juan or Orcas Island.
I'm thinking about a trip to the Pacific North west and am looking for hotel recommendations on the San-Juan or Orca Islands. A bit rustic is OK but we're traveling with my older mother so no camping. I want something upscale cabins or resort, preferably part of a larger complex with a spa. What do you suggest?
Tailor may hold pants hostage
I went to a tailor who I've gone to not often but before. I brought in cuffed pants that I needed shortened. I tried the pants on, he measured and charged me $28 which felt like alot and were almost half the price of the pants.
[more inside]
Bookfilter: Job choice guidance for driven, early career women
My S/O is facing an inflection point in her career and considering her options. I'd like to find some well-regarded outside advice that might resonate with her. [more inside]
Recommend a Tarot deck?
I am interested in buying a Tarot deck. My primary purpose is is for using it in games; mostly table top role playing games and adjacent stuff, but also traditional card games or other modern uses. Things like divination/cartomancy/meditation/contemplation are of some interest but not my main use case. [more inside]
How do live concerts in Fortnite work?
Here's a sentence from this week's New Yorker article on game engines: "There are now live concerts in Fortnite, attended by millions of people". What do the words "live" and "attended" mean in this context? [more inside]
Fluffer pro-tips
I bought this Uniqlo polyester fleece in November. It's already thoroughly squidged in pressure areas. Is there any way of re-fluffing it, or is it a goner? A clothes brush doesn't penetrate.
Need helpful ideas for finding a room to rent in the Denver area
I'm currently renting a room, but the couple who owns this house are divorcing, and they need to sell the house. I'm trying to find a new room to rent, but not having much luck. I could use some suggestions please. [more inside]
April 22
Didn't get job of a lifetime - how to feel better about my future?
I'm a university professor, currently at a very mediocre school that doesn't even feature into the top 300 world rankings. I had an interview last week for a top school (think Harvard) in one of the world's only dedicated research centres in my field. I didn't get it, I think I self-sabotaged and now I feel that I might never get over it. [more inside]
How would you respond?
Previously
I have a pretty nice co worker, and today I began telling her about that person in link. [more inside]
In Search Of: Thin, Rough, Quick Drying Towels
Ok, this will probably sound weird but I hate soft and fluffy bath towels. They shed and never absorb moisture which defeats the whole purpose of having a towel. The only place I've ever been that has the perfect towels is my nearby spa and they don't know where theirs come from. Where can I get some that are thin, kind of rough, and also super good at drying? I need both body and hair towels. Microfiber is not a good fit.
Advice Needed: Child's Friend May Be Facing Eviction
My son has a classmate who may be facing eviction. He is in kindergarten. I would like to help. But if I'm wrong, still have the gesture be a nice thing that was done randomly. What would you do? [more inside]
Spravato Treatments
Have you had Spravato treatment? How quickly did it work? What do you recommend that someone bring to treatment? How can/should one prepare? [more inside]
How can I get scuffs/scratches off a plastic dashboard?
I was trying to clean my 2005 New Beetle this past week, and used my vacuum hose and brush attachment to get at the thick layer of dust that had built up on the dashboard. Unfortunately, in the light of day when I drove it later, I could see that I'd put a bunch of scuffs/scratches on the plastic, and I'm not sure how to get rid of them. [more inside]
Looking for unique/unconventional/avant-garde Tatto Artists in Tokyo
I'm visiting Tokyo for the first time this summer and I'd like to look into the possibility of getting a tattoo while I'm there. I'll be near Shinjuku and Shibuya but I'm willing to take a train ride for the right opportunity. [more inside]
How often to wash occasionally used sheets?
A friend crashes at my house approximately once a week. Nobody else uses the bed. How often would you wash the sheets? [more inside]
Working with Polycarbonate
Wholesome horror movies lol
Looking for scary / horror movies without gore or dead bodies and relatively progressive values for kids. Horror movie fans - your advice would be so welcome! [more inside]
Token grad gift for household employee?
Our (very part time) family assistant is graduating from college next month. While she's worked for us for ~1.5 years, we didn't know her very well on a personal level. Normally cash would be the natural solution, but that feels weird when we already pay her directly. Other ideas? [more inside]
What arguments did Puerto Ricans make to oppose being drafted?
I am looking for information about an incident or multiple incidents of Puerto Ricans opposing the Vietnam War draft. [more inside]
Translate this Protest Sign in Arabic
Hi! I have this protest sign but I cannot read Palestinian Arabic. I can get a rough translation from Google Translate, but I was hoping a fluent speaker could give me an accurate translation, as well as confirming whether what’s written is grammatically correct or not. Thanks so much!
Happy Ears For How Long
I'm getting a new roof. My dogs, unsurprisingly, have very loud, anguished opinions about what is happening. How long is it safe for me to keep a "Happy Hoodie" covering on them? [more inside]
Cat ate short thread - how worried to be?
I have called the vet - see below. Our cat ate a 1.75" bit of thread that just appeared out of nowhere. Is she likely to be okay? [more inside]
Any good articles about homelessness and "authority" in the US?
Can you recommend any good articles or academic works on the relationship between homeless and legal authority? [more inside]